Brent Rainwater (USA) Contact the author
Contents:
Poetry
Prose
Hello, it's me
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Hello, it's
me....you forgot to look and now you're mine.....
It feels so
good to know that I am in control.....
I push the
buttons for once and now I own you.....
Yes, it's me,
the one you desire to be
so remain calm
while I start a riot.
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Listen to me,
I am important to you.
You need me to
show you how, to show you why
and you need
my questioning because
it is my
questioning that makes us think
otherwise we'd
sink into stagnation.....
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Listen, it's
my turn
to turn up the
volume, to let the candle burn
to feel
needed, to be jaded, to be hated
or
not to be
anything except what I want to be.....
Hello, it's
me.... you forgot to look and now you're mine.....
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Is it over?
Winter's Night
RAINY DAYS AND RED UMBRELLAS (a short story)
Here she comes, up the street on this misty spring morning carrying a red umbrella to shield her from the rain. Her name is Kimberly and I see her not so much as another person, but more as a vision. Her hair is thick and auburn and her face is dotted with freckles which I used to think were ugly like when we were nine. The trees haven't blossomed yet, but that red umbrella compliments the scenery well. She knows who I am though we rarely speak except to say "excuse me" or some other slight verbal exchange, but now I am walking behind her wishing, I too, had an umbrella though the rain has slacked up to only a drop or two. Just then a gust of wind blows by, pulling one of my papers away and as I reach to grab it my books hit the ground with a loud SMACK! She stops and turns. As he does the wind catches her hair and whips it wildly about her head. She is just standing there staring at me. I kneel down to pick up my books and as I raise up I see her again. Before I can stop myself I blurt out "You have the most beautiful blue eyes." I can't believe I said that. "What did you say?" She snaps. I have to come out of this alive because the look she is giving me says she could devour me whole and walk away without a second thought. "You have the most beautiful blue eyes." I say swallowing hard. She smiles and her mood warms. "Thank you." She says and moves her umbrella over my head as a new fall or rain begins. We walk on to school together without saying another word. I cannot keep my mind on school now and this is evident. When I am asked a question by the teacher I stare blankly past her and when I am late for my next class I walk into the door facing and bang my head. I keep asking myself "Am I in love?" I begin to hear rumors from reputable sources throughout the school that she and her boyfriend Michael have broken up. "How can this be?" I ask myself. After hearing this I want to go to her, hug her and say "You poor thing, the pain you must be enduring.", but I don't. Later, after school, the clouds have moved out and the sun is shining so I decide to walk home as it isn't far at all. As I walk I fall behind her again. This time she stops and waits for me to catch up. "Hi," She says smiling. "How was your day?" "Just fine." I say, surprised by her stopping and waiting for me. We walk and talk about our classes, our teachers and of course our impending graduation which is only four weeks away. "What are you planning to do after graduation?" She asks. "I'm moving." "Oh really? Where?" "New York, to live with a relative and go to college." "Sounds exciting." "And you?" I ask. "I plan to go to college, but that's about it right now.." What transpires over ten or fifteen minutes seems to be only seconds and we reach the intersection of Main and Green Streets where the water from the day's rain has puddled and is starting to evaporate. "Goodbye, see you later." she says and turns left, I turn right. I walk for a few feet and then turn to watch her walk away. There is something sad in her gait now and I notice the dogwoods are starting to bud as well. Two weeks later Brad, my best friend at the time, invites me to a party. "I don't want to go." I protest. "Graduation is two weeks away, enjoy this time while it lasts." He goes on and on about how fun it will be and end up talking me into it; actually, he won't take 'no' for an answer. "I'll pick you up at seven-thirty Saturday night." "OK." I say as if I've been coerced into this by a smooth talking henchman. It's Saturday night and I'm nervous. I rarely venture out and it's too late to turn back now. I do something now that goes beyond any rational part of my personality. I swipe a beer from the refrigerator and drink it. At first I almost throw up as it doesn't taste as I expect it to - that would be a good excuse not to go, but Brad would probably drag me along anyway. Within a few minutes the alcohol takes effect and I am starting to fly high. A horn blows outside, it's Brad. I grab another beer and leave. "What's that?" He asks. "If I have to tell you..." "I know, " he laughs, "it's just not something I expected from you...now get in you lush." We're on our way to a place fifteen miles from town where I've never been to gather with people I've known for twelve years and I'm almost drunk. Brad smokes and I bum a cigarette from him then I open the second beer. After the first drink goes down the wrong way I tell myself "It's the effect I'm after, not the taste." Brad laughs at me. When we arrive I see at least a hundred people that I see everyday, but their mood is different. The restrictions of everyday life are gone and all are having fun for at least one last time before the real world sets in. I look around at many of the familiar people, many of whom look surprised to see me in attendance and several other begin to ask me over and over if I am having fun. "Yes." Is my answer to all of them. Then I see her talking to a group of girls, she doesn't notice me but I notice the way the evening wind is blowing her hair lightly. I make rounds, and my state of mind, brought on by the alcohol, has lowered my inhibitions and I learn quite a bit about these strangers that I see everyday. Later I join a group who are laughing and giggling around a campfire and I proceed to drink another beer when she shows up. She spreads out a blanket and sits down. The others who are there leave. Because of her breakup with Michael she is now being treated as an outcast, but I stay. For the longest time we just sit there and stare at the fire. She doesn't look away except when Michael walks by and then she sighs and turns her attention back to the flames. "He'll never belong to anyone." she says. I listen to her. "I wish I could be able to keep him forever, but it's silly to think that. She loves him, she always will, not for the jerk he can be, but for the kind person he is. I hate to see her hurting like this. "He's lucky to have even known you." I say and she looks in my direction. "You're smart, you're beautiful...." "Oh stop." she laughs, "You're embarrassing me." "I'm serious, " I say, "It's his loss." "Thank you." she says and turns away "Do you remember what you said to me that day in the rain?" She asks. "Yes," I say, lowering my head because it still embarrasses me, "and still I believe you have the most beautiful blue eyes" "That meant more to me than anyone had ever said in a long time." I laugh. "It came out totally by accident, I couldn't stop myself." "No matter, it was sincere, you're sincere, smart and I thank you." "Now you're embarrassing me." "I know that one day I am going to be able to say I'm glad I know you and please don't be embarrassed." She moves closer to me and before I know what is happening she kisses me. I know that, to me, it is a dream come true, but to her I don't know what it means. Maybe I was a diversion or her ex-by-proxy, but whatever the case I don't fight it. I let her finish and her last words to me before she leaves are "Thank you." I didn't see her walking anymore and only caught fleeting glances of here around the halls after that. Many years have passed since that night and I still see her from time to time. I think she still remembers that night, I know I do and I'm sure she probably still thinks about it to. But I know one thing and that is rainy days and red umbrellas will always remind me of her.