Skye Demster (USA) Contact the author
Contents:
Poetry
Prose
MYSTIC MOUNTAINS
I am at peace here, cradled in the folds of your peaceful valley. I have
long found comfort in your trees and wisdom in your streams. I come to you
in pain, anger, frustration and fear and leave you with a renewed sense of
inner calm that I only find when I sit with you and listen.
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SEASONS OF CHANGE
Autumn has spread its chilling fingers wide across the land, with the summer
fleeing before it taking with her the greens of leaves and the blue sunny
skies. Winds tormenting through the trees bringing their death scent to the
air, casting lifelessly down to earth the remains of their pillage, golden
reds and browns. Whispers of winter fast approaching creep into every crack
and crevice, the bowels of the earth shudder against the cold. Nature
sleeps, tucked away under the first blanket of snow. Her slumber is deep as
the North Wind weaves it’s bewitching spell, not to be broken until the
first signs of spring.
PAST LIVES PRESENT
From the first time your eyes met mine I knew you.
I saw the flicker of recognition in your eyes and I knew.
I felt the stirrings of lost passions deep within my soul and I knew.
The first time we made love the flood of memories so intense that I feared
We would both be swept away, lost to each other and the world we now know
By the riptides of the long forgotten past.
You are the Samurai, Warrior of the Far East.
I am the Viking, Barbarian of the West.
Your Blade curves with a graceful ease.
Mine is strait and bold.
Your ways are of circles.
My ways are of angles.
You are the Commander of armies.
I am the Warrior alone.
LONELINESS
Walking
down the road of life I met a man, tired and grown old.
He said his
name was loneliness and his heart was growing cold.
Reflected in
his eyes so dark and endless could be found all the sorrow and despair of souls
to this earth bound. So I walked with him a while and his burdens I did share
but the weight of tears upon my back was more than I could bear.
EYES OPEN
How much have you lost?
.....An ocean.
I listened, but heard no scream.
Did you cry out in pain?
.....Listened, but did not hear.
How can I help you?
.....Remove the blade.
What will happen?
.....The wound will heal.
Will it be as before?
.....Scars remain forever.
Where has the lust-fire gone?
.....Into the sea of crimson.
Will it ever return?
.....Perhaps.
When?
.....In time.
How?
.....On the wing of love.
I knew not what I'd done,
I meant no harm.
.....It cut just the same.
INSTANT RECALLING
The phone rang. I answered it. "Hello?" Across the wire, with the speed of lightning it came, the voice of the past. It came, crashing into my day with the force of a tornado, spreading disruption and confusion in its wake.
"Hello?" It said, "Is that you? I just called to see how things are with you."
I choked on my breath. My heart crowded my throat, crippled my tongue. My racing pulse made my skin burn hot. My hands began to tremble so badly I almost dropped the receiver. I suddenly got the rush of sickness that people feel when they have narrowly escaped death. My knees went weak beneath me and the room started to slowly spin out of control.
I stood there with soapsuds dripping off my hands, trying desperately to regain my grasp on reality. The reality I had been so firmly planted in only moments ago. But I was already lost somewhere between the present and the past where dirty dishes mingled with blackened eyes and bloody lips. Yesterday's pain, fear, hopes and sorrow swirled in the sink with the meatloaf grease.
"Are You There!?"
I reached into the sink and pulled out the stopper and watched you go down the drain as I hung up the phone.
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WWC: THE AFTERMATH
Ok, here I am…come on girl; you know that you have got to get this over with. Where did I put the keys to his apartment? Here they are. Quit stalling, I know I have to just let myself grieve, that’s what everyone says anyway. I just have to open the door go in and start packing up what is left. I am so glad that he had already gotten rid of the house and all the furniture after Mom died. It could have been a lot more to deal with.
Humm, It smells of him, that blue velvet aftershave he always wore. I guess I’ll start in the bedroom, that’s where most off his personal stuff should be. God, Dad, I can’t believe that your gone, too. I feel so alone; you were the last family I had left. Let’s see what’s in the closet. His only other suit, four white button down shirts, heavy starch as always; his “workin’” pants, I used to hate to see him in those ratty old pants. I would give anything to see him in them now. Don’t start crying, girl; If you start you won’t ever get this done. Ok, we have five sleeveless T-shirts, two Polo shirts that I gave him last year for his birthday; he always tried to wear them if he knew I was coming over. His robe is still in good shape, considering he practically lived in it after Mom passed away. He thought he had me fooled wearing those shirts when he was expecting me, but every time I just stopped by unannounced, he would be in his pajamas and this robe. He’d always make excuses about getting ready to shower or sleeping late. I guess his winter coat and the raincoat he had for as long as I can remember is out in the hall closet, I’ll grab them on the way out.
Maybe I should have let Karen come with me, she offered several times. She is such a good friend, always there when I need her. I just had to do this alone. Ok, shoes, shoes, shoes. His black dress shoes we used for the funeral, he always kept the boxes for every pair and put them back in every time he took them off. Boy that used to drive me nuts. Two pairs of sneakers, a brown and a black pair of leather casuals (Yeah, like he was ever casual, ha, ha) a pair of blue corduroy house slippers. All this stuff is going to the mission for the homeless, house slippers seem a little inappropriate. Maybe I’ll give the to Karen for Tiger, he always loves to chew up old shoes I bet he’d love them. Sorry Dad, but it all has to go somewhere. Ok, last shoe box and then we get to do the drawers. Wow, this is kind of heavy, what’s in it? The top says that it is his legal papers, but we got all of those from his deposit box at the bank like he told us.
“Official Divorce Decree”, what the hell is this? “The State Court of Minnesota Hereby grants the Petitioner: Ingrid Hostenmiester a divorce from the Respondent: Herman Hostenmiester on the grounds of irreconcilable differences. The court also awards the Petitioner full custody of the two minor children. The Respondent is ordered to pay child support in the amount of $100 per month, until the children reach the age of eighteen years of age. This order is signed by Judge Franklin Haley on this the third day of May, 1950.”
Oh my God, I can’t believe this! Dad was married to another woman and they had kids together. Why the hell didn’t he ever tell me about this? I have to half-siblings out there somewhere, what state was it, oh, Minnesota and I don’t even know what sex they are, how old the are, what their names are and who was this Ingrid person anyway? What else is in this box maybe it will give me some more information. A passport with Dad’s name and it’s from Sweden, and one from Germany. I wish I could read it. What is this, something “Reich” something? And he is so young, just a kid. He looks like he has on a uniform. None of this makes sense, he was born in Michigan and he told me he was never in the Service because of his feet or something like that. He never told me anything about being in Germany or Sweden. And they have his birthday wrong, on this thing too. I just don’t get it. Wait, what’s this still in the box? It’s something wrapped in an old newspaper. The paper is in German, too. Hum, a little velvet bag with something in it. Oh no!! NO, NO, NO!! He couldn’t have been a Nazi! Who in the hell were you Dad? The papers fell from her lap, the Iron Cross Medal clenched so tightly in her hand that it was starting to draw blood; she sank to the floor and wept the tears of a reality, a lifetime lost.
THE BEACH
The
beach is quiet now; the Sunday swimmers have all gone home. But we linger here
in the warm sand, enjoying the last rays before the sun sinks beneath the waves.
We are one here, with the gentle breeze, the quiet lapping of the waves upon the
shore. Down the beach, a gull cries, he stands amid some reeds. A tiny crab
scurries into the surf.
I am happy
now, as I watch him. A smile lingers on his lips as he drifts off to the land of
dreams. How treasured are these moments of quiet togetherness. So few the times
when we are not two separate individuals, but one love. These are the times that
I'll look back on and say,” Yes, it was good then..." When he is gone and
I am alone again, I'll remember and I'll smile.
AMAZING GRACE
She paced back and forth in the kitchen
of her apartment. She had already drunk an entire pot of coffee and she knew she
would never get any sleep tonight. Not that she had slept the night before. Her
nerves had kept her from any chance of that.
The phone’s loud ring startled her back to the present. She picked up
the receiver and heard the familiar voice on the other end ask how she was doing
on her “big day”. She said that she was a nervous wreck and had not gotten
any sleep last night. “Well that’s natural, we all go through it our first
time.” Said the voice that had been her lifeline so often during the past
year.
“I just don’t think I can do this
thing tonight, I’m no good a talking to a room full of people. What am I going
to say to them anyway?” she asked, as she picked up her cigarettes and lit
one, only to realize that she already had one burning in the ashtray.
“Damn,” she thought to herself, “no wonder I’ve gone through a pack and
a half already today!” She crushed the newly lit smoke into the ashtray.
“Just tell them your story, share your experience, strength and hope with
them. I advise that you do a little praying before hand, ask the Big Guy up
there to give you the right words. I have to go, but I’ll see you there
tonight. Come early, celebrants have to set up the coffee.” “Yea, I know.
I’ll see you tonight.” She hung up the phone and went into her bedroom, got down on
her knees and began to pray.
“Father, I made it. A whole year has
gone by since that terrible night. It hasn’t been easy, in fact at times it
has been hard as hell. But thanks to your Grace and Love, I’ve made it this
far. I have sure come a long way from that pitiful wretch who wrapped her car
around a telephone pole. I should have probably died that night, but I came
through it with just a couple of bruises and scratches and one hell of a head
ache.” She half chuckled to herself. “ But tonight is the big night, I
thought it would never come and now I just want it over with. I don’t know
what to say when I get up there tonight, Lord. I know that if it had not been
for you and all the people down there I would probably be dead by now instead of
having a place to call my own and a job that I have been able to hold down for
over six months, that’s a first! And all the people who I have in my life
today that really care about me, that is so hard to believe sometimes. My family
is speaking to me and starting to have some trust and respect for me. Even my
kids tell me how proud they are of me.” Tears well up in her eyes and quickly
start to roll down her cheeks. She wipes them away with her sleeve. “You know,
I have cried more tears this past year than I did during the four years before
it. But at least these are tears of gratitude.
I was so lost; my life was in shambles. I had lost my job, my marriage,
my children and even my home. But
the night of that accident, I felt your presence, I had always thought that if
the was a God he surely had given up on me years ago. I thought I was beyond
saving. But that night I felt your love surround me as I sat in the hospital
emergency room and waited for the cops to finish their report. I suddenly knew
that I mattered to you, that you loved me and that you wanted me to learn how to
be happy, joyous and free. That was when I knew what I had to do. I remember
asking a nurse for a phone book and looking up that number. That’s where it
all started. And now I’m here a year latter, getting ready for tonight. Help
me find the right words to say tonight, Lord. Maybe my story can help someone
out there to get the gift I have been given.” She looked up at her clock and
realized it was time for her to start getting ready. “Thank you, Lord.”
She took a big breath as she reached to
open the doors to the hall. It was a big crowd tonight. Her hands were shaking
as she helped to prepare coffee and set up chairs. Everyone was coming up and
giving her hugs and cards and encouragement. They had all had to face the first
time, too. They all said it would get easier each time. Then it was time to the
meeting to start. Everyone found a seat. She took a seat up front. Her hands
were trembling as the coordinator for the meeting stepped up to the podium.
“Can we all please find a seat so we can get started?” the voice from
the phone call filled the room. “Thank You all for coming tonight we have
several celebrants tonight, but our first is a special one for me. I have
sponsored her this last year and it gives be great joy to ask her to come up
here and tell her story.” There was a burst of applause as she stood up and
walked up to the podium. Her sponsor handed her a brass chip for one year,
hugged her and whispered, “You can do this! “
As she stepped up to the podium and looked out at all those faces, she
realized that this was as much her family as her birth family was. A tear rolled
down her cheek and someone handed her a box of Kleenex, she laughed as she took
it.
She took a deep breath and held on to the podium so her hands wouldn’t tremble. “Good evening everyone, my name is Faith and I’m an alcoholic and as of today, I have not had to take a drink or a drug for three hundred and sixty-five days now.” The room broke into more applause. “I’d like to tell you a little about my experience, strength and hope tonight…..”