Writers Galore

Book Manuscript

Parenting

     While many students are prepared for college by their high school counselors or friends, many parents have little personal experience. College affects not just the student but the entire family and the effects are not just monetary.

     Surviving Your Child's College Years is targeted at the parent. Short chapters focus on the first semester, the issue of working and the first academic warning. It also covers some areas that are of concern to the parents such as controlling insurance costs, managing college costs and choosing useful graduation gifts. This is a parent's guide to coping and surviving their child's college experiences.

     There are a lot of books which focus on college, how to prepare, what to expect and how to cope. The difference is that unlike most self-help manuals, this is targeted not at the prospective student but at the parent. What many people fail to consider is that college affects not just the student but the family.

     To go or not to go? You've scrimped and saved and planned for this day. You're ready to guide your child through the coming years, and suddenly, your child announces he's not going to college. Before you scream and yell and tear his or her hair out, take a minute and talk to your child. Some young adults are not ready to attend college right out of high school and others may be able to accomplish their goals without a four-year degree.      College requires a commitment on the part of the student. Remember the old adage about leading a horse to water? You can force your child to attend, but you can't force him to learn. Many students who are strongly persuaded to attend, end up failing and being suspended. This suspension can haunt them later in life, if they decide to re-enroll. They may not be able to get accepted or may be restricted as to what they can take. Rather than risk this type of situation, sometimes it may be better to give them some breathing space.

     It's difficult for a young adult to decide to attend college, when their friends are out earning money and enjoying themselves. It's easy for them to be enticed by the prospect of getting a job and earning quick money. As we all know the grass always looks greener. That terrific job unloading trucks or stocking shelves may lose its appeal after a few weeks or months of sore mucles, especially when they see people only a few years older being hired for management because they have a degree.

     This doesn't mean all graduates go to work for the money. Some high school graduates just haven't decided exactly what they want to do for their careers. In these cases they decide to take a job and get some practical experience. This can help them to make decisions about future career goals. They may decide that they do not like the field and decide to go to college and train for another career. Even if they do enjoy the job, they may decide to go back to school later so that they can advance their career. In reality, many young adults who go to work directly from high school "drop back in" later.

     Society is changing. People are living longer and working longer. Unlike forty years ago, it's unrealistic to expect a young adult to find a job and remain there till they retire. In today's world, many people have two and three careers throughout their life span. Changes in technology are rapid. Today's college graduate may be at the forefront of his or her field. Fifteen years from now, their jobs may be obsolete. Community colleges see many students who are older and training for second and third careers.

     Another option for young adults is vocational training programs. Some students do not have the capability or the desire to study general subjects such as history and English. For these students vocational training is an excellennt alternative. There is even a recent trend which would enable high school students who are in vocational training to move directly to technical programs at two-year colleges and receive credit for their vocational training. From there, the credits from the high school and two-year college training could be transferred to a four-year college. This approach breaks a bachelor's degree into smaller segments and enables a student to earn a high school degree, associate degree and bachelor's degree. Sometimes the accomplishment of three short-term goals is easier for a student to consider than the long-term commitment to a bachelor's degree.

     It's important to remember that your child is becoming a young adult with his or her own dreams and goals for the future. In trying to share with them your wisdom, it's easy to forget that old adage that we learn from our mistakes. Give your child your advice and support, but also listen to their reasons for not wanting to go directly to college. Sometimes they can surprise you and have a well-thought plan that includes college later.

     If you still feel strongly about college, consider a compromise. Keep in mind the cumulative program described previously. There are many excellent community colleges which offer one- and two-year degrees. Many of these programs are technical/career oriented programs and students can take one or more courses a semester. This would enable the student to work and get a college education at the same time, making both you and them happy.

     What do you mean it's too late to apply?
     Many teenagers have mastered the art of procrastination and others have been able to combat life's stress by achieving a laid-back attitude. While envied by some adults, it can be a source of contention between the teen and the parent. As a parent, you pick your battles giving up some of the minor skirmishes in hopes of winning the overall war. College applications may seem minor but procrastination can have dire consequences.

     Many high school students do not realize that colleges have specific deadlines and that they adhere to them strictly. Decisions on the fall freshmen are often made in the early spring. Colleges do not wait till after students graduate from high school to begin their selection.

     In the summer before or the early fall of the senior year, high school students should develop a list of potential colleges. This can be done with the help of the high school guidance counselor or the student can do his or her own research at the local library or using the Internet. Once students have compiled a list they can request applications from all the colleges that they are interested in. There is an increasing number of colleges who are setting up on-line application on the Internet.

     Students should be encouraged to make a copy of the application and fill out the copy first in pencil. the answers to the questions will determine the student's admission rating, so it is important to answer the questions completely and accurately. Once the copy is perfected the information can be transferred to the original application. Read the directions carefully, as some schools require typed applications and others require that the applications be completed in black ink. This is no time to show off creativity.

     The application process can also be costly. Many colleges have a non-refundable application fee for processing. the range of cost is typically ten to fifty dollars. This covers the cost of the review and evaluation process. During the application process, students should send applications to all schools they are sincerely interested in, but for financial reasons may need to shorten the list.

     Once the application is received, the college admissions committee will review the application for accuracy and content. If the student does not meet the general criteria, schools will often notify them immediately. Once the application passes the initial test, it will be included with the other applications for the upcoming year. After the application deadline, typically sometime in November to February, the admissions office will begin to sift through the applications and rank them for admission.

     Admission application packets will include details of the type of student that the school accepts, what level of grades are required, minimal scores on entrance exams like the SAT and ACT, types of courses taken and even community service. From these applications are generally three piles. The first group are students who do not meet the criteria for admission. Typically, these students receive rejection letters in the spring. The second group are students who meet the requirements, but who are placed on a waiting list. Typically these students are notified that they are still being considered for admission, but it is hard to tell if they will actually be accepted. It really depends on the decision of the applicants in the third group. If they are not accepted, they may receive preferential treatment as a second semester admission. Some schools will make a provisionary acceptance for the spring semester knowing that not all freshmen will return after the fall semester!

     Applicants who not only meet the criteria but in many cases exceed the minimum requirements are granted provisionary acceptance. It is very rare for schools to guarantee admission to students prior to high school graduation. Most schools will make the acceptance conditional upon receipt of the final high school transcript and a non-refundable deposit by a deadline. the deposit holds the seat in the freshman class and is typically applied to first semester tuition. If the student later decides not to attend, the fee is forfeited.

     After the deadline passes, the seats that are not claimed are offered to the first people on the waiting list. Students who are on waiting lists for the college of their choice should seriously consider accepting admission to their second choice. That way if they are not high enough on the waiting list, they will be able to attend somewhere for the fall.

     Late applicants are often lowest on the waiting list or are turned down immediately, regardless of how exceptional a student. That is why it is extremely important to apply on time, early doesn't hurt. Many students who have procrastinated have found themselves closed out.

NOTE: The author is a college registrar.