New sl et te r - Ju ly 20 04

Table of Contents

Featured Story-- "An Incident in the Flowergarden"
Featured Poem-- "Shades of Black"
Learn From the Masters-- edited by Megan

Featured Story

An Incident in the Flowergarden
by Alexei Malchik, Kyrgyzstan

I dedicate this work to Richard Pearson, my English teacher.

Chapter One

Well, my dear friends, time has come to tell you a new fairytale. Formerly, there were two countries, Flowergarden and Stormland, separated by dense and dark forest. Flowergarden was a wonderful magic country, where kindness and justice won an absolute victory. This country was ruled by President Sviatoslav the Faithful. Sviatoslav faithfully served his people and they loved the president for his wisdom and humanity. Sviatoslav was of cheerful disposition, was handsome, strong and slim, but he had no children.

Flowergarden was a multi-state country in which people respected each other and lived in friendship. Birds, beasts, fish, cars, steamers and trains knew the language of people very well. They always helped people in time of need and together with people protected their country from different enemies. Flowergarden also had its protector who was called Fairy Vevea. The fairy was a very beautiful blonde and lived in her house surrounded by an orchard. Two inseparable friends, Evsei and Jump, helped Vevea in the orchard, because it was big and needed good care.

Evsei and Jump were not the children of fortune. Evsei, a boy of ten years old, had no parents. He was an inmate of the children's home, but then he ran away from there. Jump was a dog and the best friend of Evsei. The dog had had a cruel owner who constantly abused him. Once the owner had driven away Jump became a homeless dog. From that time Jump visited many places. In his wandering he met Evsei who also was very unhappy. One day Evsei and Jump, tired after a long journey, chanced to find themselves in the land of Flowergarden, near Vevea's house. Vevea sheltered the wanderers and they went to live in the fairy's house and to help her in the orchard. Vevea was a very kind sorceress. When fruit ripened in her orchard she gave them to children.

Chapter Two

And what about Stormland? Oh, it was a terrible country. Merpod, a pitiless king and wizard, governed Stormland. He hated Flowergarden and wanted to destroy this country and to subjugate its people. However, Fairy Vevea always prevented Merpod's perfidious plans. Merpod lived in the Black Castle. He was very thin with a long tousled beard. His black hairs hung down to his shoulders and often fell on the wizard's face. Merpod had an old mother. Her name was Tselgana. She was a cruel and wicked witch. In her ominous actions, she used a magic tray that could show her any part of the world. The subjects of Merpod were called dogens. They were humpbacked, had red-green hairs and tails. Dogens hated each other and were afraid of Merpod and his mother.

Yes, Stormland was really a country of evil. Now I shall tell you about an attempt of Merpod to subjugate Flowergarden, when the villain used the power of black magic. While uttering its fearful sounds the whirlwind rushed through the forest. On the way, it broke trees and frightened beasts and birds which inhabited the forest. The unfortunate animals were in panic, they scattered and flew in different diractions. The whirlwind moved at great speed. Soon it had rushed into Flowergarden and after that it burst into the White Palace where President Sviatoslav lived and worked. With rage the whirlwind smashed the panes, tore down the chandeliers of the palace and destroyed sculptures and pictures which decorated the buidings halls. When the door of the president's study came off its hinges the whirlwind said with hatred, "You can take your leave of this country, Sviatoslav. You'll never see Flowergarden again!"

"You can't conquer us, Merpod," the president answered calmly. "I know it,"

"Yes, I am Merpod," he smiled ironically. "Tomorrow I'll subdue Flowergarden and you'll end your life in the prison which I call Moan." Then Merpod, the whirlwind, gripped Sviatoslav and they both disappeared at that very minute. The news about Sviatoslav's kidnapping grieved the people of Flowergarden very much. But only Fairy Vevea could help Flowergarden in this trouble.

Chapter Three

"Evsei, Jump!" called Fairy Vevea. "Flowergarden is in great trouble. I need your help." Evsei and Jump ended their work in the orchard and went to the house where, with impatience, Vevea waited for them.

"How can we help?" Evsei asked on entering the house.

"We'll do what we can!" promised Jump.

"I'm so glad to hear it," said the fairy with a kind smile. "My friends, we must help our country. Today Merpod invaded Flowergarden and kidnapped the president. Now Sviatoslav is in the prison called Moan."

"Oh, what horror!" exclaimed Evsei.

"Poor president!" said Jump sadly.

"Yes, but unfortunately it's true. However I know how to rescue our president. Come nearer to me, please. I'll turn you into dogens. Mebes-keres, genes-neres, fenes-lenes, reves-deres." As soon as these words were said two dogens appeared in the room. "We have a difficult task," continued Vevea. "As you know, Flowergarden and Stormland are separated by the forest. But it will not prevent you, because my magic lantern will help to cross the forest. When you light it you'll be invisible and will cross Stormland's frontier easily. Remember, my spell has an effect for only five hours. You must free our president before you become a boy and a dog again." Vevea also gave her friends other advice and called out the passwords of Moan.

For the complete story, please visit our LiveJournal at www.livejournal.com/community/writestuffclub.

Featured Poem

You may submit any of your writing to be critiqued by a panel of peer critics by emailing it to littleal87@aol.com with "To Critique" in the subject line.

Critiques provided by a panel of peer editors:

Christopher The Red, 23-year-old hospital intern
Therissa
Allison, future freshman at Columbia University

Shades of Black
[ashie_chic@Girlfriend.com.au]

Here I walk when dreams fade away,
A place where thriving evil comes to stay,
The gleam of good is gone,
Just left to stand alone, a pawn, (huh?) (If you're trying to make a metaphor saying that you're a pawn in a chess game, say so. It's kind of hanging there.)
How I long to die,
Embracing my dignity I turn to the sky, (what's going on at this point?)
The moon (comma?) a black glowing ember, (the moon is a pale blue or yellow.)(nice description)
A reminder of things not to remember, (Why? Where has all good gone? Why are you a pawn? What are you talking about?)
The stars of jewelled cobalt,
The eeriness makes my heart halt, (This scene sounds pretty, not so eerie...)
The cover is thin; I try to hide,
From what, this is just what is me inside, (The poem is almost complete and I still don't know what's going on.)
The revelation hits me,
Now I am free.

((Okay, I am trying hard to better understand what I just read. Again, I may be skimming the surface because I am just not able to crack the shell of the narrative. The point is, unless you are writing it only for a select few, you should offer a wider entrance into the poem. Call it laziness, but if I have to wrestle with just the context, I'm less likely to have the interest or ability to digest the content. I like the fact that you challenge the reader, but perhaps there can be a way to create a more intimate relationship by opening up the poem a little more. You invite me to the door, but won't let me in. Offer me either a key or a window to peer through.))

I like how this flows…The rhyme doesn't sound forced. I liked the descriptions used in this as well.

The poem sounds very nice except for the simple fact that I don't know what on earth you're talking about. You sound like you're giving up on life and looking up at the sky. Are you about to commit suicide? Why has the world turned evil? The rhyme sounds a whole lot better in this poem than another of your works that was critiqued, but I still don't get it. What revelation sets you free? How? Looking at the stars did that?

Learn From the Masters

Edited by Megan

Have you ever wondered what it felt like to be William Faulkner or James Joyce? Have you ever wanted to imitate their unique writing style? Well, I can teach you how. Grab a piece of paper and a pen. Now, write whatever you are thinking of at this very moment. Don't analyze it, don't try to make sense of it, just write. Congratulations, you have just learned the technique called "stream of consciousness."

Stream of Consciousness:
1. A literary technique that presents the thoughts and feelings of a character as they occur.
2. Psychology. The conscious experience of an individual regarded as a continuous, flowing series of images and ideas running through the mind.

Stream of consciousness emphasizes the psyche of the author or character in a story. It doesn't necessarily make logical sense, but gives an exact account of what the person was feeling at that moment. For example, in James Joyce's Ulysses, the last lines are as follows: "...and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes and then he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes." When one simply scans these lines, they make absolutely no sense. It takes a deeper study to understand the psychology and art of the words.

One of the first authors to use this technique was T. S. Eliot. Born on September 26, 1888, this man was born for literary stardom. He lived the first eighteen years of his life in St. Louis, MO, then went on to Harvard University in Boston. He earned several masters degrees and was also a major contributor of poems for the Harvard Advocate. After college, he did some traveling in Europe and then settled in England with wife Vivienne Haigh-Wood. His mentor was Ezra Pound, who aided him in publishing several of his poems and works, most notably "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock." "Love Song" is one of his most famous poems. It deals with issues such as fear of commitment, longing for companionship, isolation, and fear of death. It is the perfect example of how Eliot used his gift of words through the effect of stream of consciousness. Eliot won the Nobel Peace Prize for Literature in 1948. He died in 1965 in London.

Eliot is only one of the many writers who used stream of consciousness for their work. Many other writers used this effect, including Hemingway, Faulkner, Virginia Woolf, Joyce, and Dostoevsky.

Suggested Reading:
The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock T. S. Eliot
Crime and Punishment Dostoevsky
The Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man Joyce
The Jilting of Granny Weatherall Eudora Welty
The Lady in the Looking Glass: A Reflection Virginia Woolf

Is there a particular author that you would like to be spotlighted next month? How about a specific genre or writing technique? If you have any requests, PLEASE e*mail me and let me know. I would love to get everyone's input. Also, if you have any suggestions on the section itself...length, format, etc., I would love to hear about that too. You can e*mail me at julyspark@aol.com, or you can IM me at that same s/n. I am looking forward to hearing from YOU!

NOTE FROM THE EDITOR: Please send your comments on the club and the newsletter to littleal87@aol.com, so that you can have an influence on the path that we take in the future! Is the newsletter too short? Too long? What do you think of the format? What would you do to improve the club? Also, please send your DOB/gender/location to littleal87@aol.com. This helps to paint a picture of who's in the club--and your birthday will be featured in the newsletter! Most people have not submitted their information. Thank you very much for participating.

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