CHAPTER I

THE PRETTY GIRL WITH DIARRHEA

AND YEAST INFECTIONS THAT STINK BAD

     Tiffany was a very pretty girl ever since she was in grade school. Despite that she was pretty on the outside, her self-esteem was very low and she felt very ugly and dirty on the inside. Tiffany's father was the minister of Familyville's Baptist Church For Family Values. Because of Tiffany's strict Christian upbringing she was taught to feel ashamed of her body, especially her cunt and her asshole. Her father told her that those desires that she felt "down there", in other words, her cunt, were sinful and not normal. He told her not to touch herself in her cunt because that would be giving into the temptations of Satan. He also told her that if any guys touch her "there" that she needs to tell him so he could go out get his gun and kill him. He also said that if any of those lezzie girls lay a hand on her "there" he would rape them, torture them and then kill her. Now that's the Christian thing to do. When Tiffany asked him if raping a girl for touching her was sinful, he slapped her in the face real hard and told her not to dare question her father. He was a man of God.

      Also, thanks to her Christian teachings, Tiffany was taught to be ashamed of her asshole. When Tiffany was 4 years old, her father told her that it is Satan that makes poo poo, better known as fecal matter or shit. He told her that her intestines are the part of her body where Satan has his Demons. He told her that the Devil is the one that makes poo poo. He told her if she was a good girl, the demons can be released from her asshole by going poo. He told her that it is the power of Jesus that causes people to go poo poo and if it weren't for Jesus people would be constipated and never be able to go poo because nothing would stop the Devil and his Demons from creating more and more fecal matter that would be stuck in her system forever. Only Jesus has the power to cause people to have bowel movements to get that Satanic feces out of their system. If she is a bad girl, that Satanic poo poo will stay in her system until her guts pop out, or is it pop and poop out? Her father also told her that a toilet is a gateway to Hell. He told her that when a toilet is flushed, the pee pee and poo poo go directly to Hell where the Devil is.

       Being told all that information or is it misinformation about her cunt and asshole caused Tiffany to feel very bad about herself. Being told all that bullshit was true child abuse and it would really fuck her up. Tiffany really believed that Satan was causing her to take a shit and she felt very bad about her asshole. She felt so bad about herself; she got diarrhea a lot of times. As she got older and older, the diarrhea got worse and more frequent. When Tiffany was 8 years old, her father finally felt that she should go to a proctologist to look into what is wrong with her. The proctologist stuck a proctascope up Tiffany's asshole to see what the problem could be. When he released the proctascope, Tiffany lost control of her bowels and she shit all over the doctor's face. Now that can really be embarrassing. Tiffany's father was so embarrassed, he called her a fuckin pig and he beat the shit out of her and it totally fucked up his plans to have incest with his little girl. Apparently, it was ok for him to touch her "there", but if anyone else did, he would kill them. Well anyway, Tiffany's father was so grossed out from Tiffany's diarrhea, he lost interest in fucking his daughter and he would be a meaner prick than he was already.

      The Shitfaced (literally) proctologist didn't find anything wrong with Tiffany. He felt that the diarrhea was caused by some psychological problem, gee, now what can that be? The doctor said that although she has no problems at that point and time, if that psychological problem is not resolved, she'll have serious health problems when she is older. He said the diarrhea is a symptom (a psychological one) that something is seriously wrong and it will lead to more serious health problems.

     When Tiffany became a teenager, she was a very pretty and attractive girl, but her diarrhea problem continued to get worse and more frequent. Also, thanks to her Christian upbringing, Tiffany felt very bad about her cunt. She really felt bad about having those sexual urges, yet when she was alone at night, she could not resist the temptation to finger fuck her cunt until she had an orgasm. The problem was a lot of times she would end up pissing in her bed while she had an orgasm. Her mother who was also a fascist Christian cunt, (gee ain't that a surprise) thought Tiffany was playing with herself, shame shame because her bed smelled like piss. Tiffany told her mother that she had a bed-wetting problem. That didn't go over with her too well, either, but it's better than playing with yourself. After every orgasm Tiffany felt so ashamed of herself and she felt that Satan was controlling her. Feeling bad about her asshole caused Tiffany to have problems with diarrhea since she was a child and because Tiffany felt bad about her cunt, she had problems with her cunt itching a lot. After she became a teenager, Tiffany would constantly get yeast infections. Every time Tiffany got a yeast infection, her cunt would stink so bad that it would make a person nauseous just from smelling it. It makes you wonder how such an attractive girl can get those disgusting smelling yeast infections and diarrhea and diarrhea stinks a lot worse than a regular turd does. Despite having diarrhea that stinks so bad and yeast infections, Tiffany was good looking enough to make the cheerleading squad and when she was in high school she was named the Homecoming Queen.

     Tiffany was very attractive on the outside, but on the inside she felt very insecure, isolated and yucky. Having diarrhea and yeast infections constantly did not help. Despite being attractive, Tiffany did not have much good luck when it came to dating because of embarrassing experiences. One time a guy was getting ready to fuck her when she decided to pop a zit on her back and it squirted in his face. He lost interest in fucking her. Another time, one of the guys on the football team tried to fuck her while she had a yeast infection and her cunt stank so bad, he ended up puking his guts out. If that wasn't bad enough, the star quarterback, Tony, took Tiffany out on a date and he took her to a greasy spoon for dinner because he was too cheap to take her someplace good. He was also too cheap to buy her anything except beans. Well, a meal like that can cause a person who doesn't normally get diarrhea to get it, let alone Tiffany who always had it. Tiffany got diarrhea real bad. She felt very painful cramps in her intestines and she told Tony that she wasn't feeling very good. Tony didn't care. Now he spent a whopping $3 on buying her dinner and he demanded that he let him fuck her. Tiffany said she didn't feel good. Tony told Tiffany that he loves her and if she loved him, then she would let him fuck her even if she wasn't feeling good. Tiffany agreed to letting Tony fuck her after he said that, but those painful cramps kept getting worse. To help her feel like getting fucked, even though it didn't, Tony put on Familyville's top 40 contemporary love songs station WFAM. WFAM was playing some shit in which the lyrics go: Girl, I will always love you no matter what. Nothing will ever come between us and I will never hurt you or leave you. For some reason, her gastro intestinal cramps got worse after hearing that song. While Tony was fucking her, Tiffany's gastro intestinal cramps got so bad, she felt like she was going to lose control of her bowels. Tiffany wanted to be on top while Tony fucked her, but he wouldn't let her. She was hoping that if she lost control of her bowels with diarrhea, that the diarrhea would go up into the air and then go back on her ass and Tony wouldn't notice. Well, Tony wanted to be on top and of course, he got his way. Well anyway, Tiffany couldn't control her bowels much longer. She was hoping that the only thing that would happen is she would blow a couple of farts, because it felt a little bit like it would only be a fart, but it was more painful than a fart. Well that moment came when she could not control herself any longer. Tiffany lost control of her bowels and got diarrhea all over Tony's bed while he was ejaculating. Tiffany was hoping that Tony wouldn't notice that she got diarrhea all over his bed. Well, he did. After that happened, Tony dumped Tiffany because she dumped diarrhea in his bed and he never wanted to fuck her again. Gee, what happened to Girl, I will always love you no matter what? Nothing will ever come between us and I will never hurt you or leave you. Apparently, in order for that song to tell it like it is the lyrics need to be changed to: Girl, I will always love you no matter what as long as you never get diarrhea. Nothing will ever come between us except your fucking stinky diarrhea runny shit. I will never hurt you or leave you as long as you never get diarrhea, but if you ever get diarrhea in my fuckin bed while I'm fucking you, bitch, I will not only hurt you, I will fucking kill you.

      The friends that Tiffany had were other girls on the cheerleading squad, who were a bunch of phony stuck up snotty cunts. The girls would constantly say snotty and sarcastic things to one another and trash each other. The music that most of the girls liked to listen to was top 40 bullshit. Gee, ain't that a surprise. The favorite group that most of the girls enjoyed listening to was Boys II Men. Most Boys II Men songs are about "love", barf out. Deep down Tiffany felt that the music of Boys II Men was nothing more than sludge and phony bullshit, however Tiffany bought CDs from Boys II Men because that's what her friends told her what she should be listening to. Tiffany would often feel like committing suicide while she was all by herself listening to Boys II Men because the songs they sang were about "love" and how "wonderful" everything is, but there was just one problem. Her life was totally fucked up, which was caused by being brainwashed by a society of assholes and phony scumbags that she called "friends" who would do her thinking for her. Tiffany once had a CD from Nine-Inch Nails. She enjoyed hearing their music and it was a lot better than Boys II Men, however a turd is better than Boys II Men. Actually, diarrhea is even better than Boys II Men. Anyway, it seems that members of Nine-Inch Nails have a lot of anger from listening to their music. Tiffany was so brainwashed, she wasn't even aware of how much anger and hurt she had. Tiffany was for a brief period of time able to relate to the anger expressed in the music which caused her not to feel so isolated and her diarrhea went away, temporarily, but then Tiffany decided to invite her friend Susan over who was not only a phony stuck up snotty cunt, but she was a born again Christian who believed in "family values" and she felt that most rock music should be banned, except "love songs". Tiffany wanted to play Nine-Inch Nails but Susan wanted to hear Boys II Men. Susan decided to listen to Nine-Inch Nails and as it turned out, it would have been better if she listened to Boys II Men. Susan felt that the music of Nine-Inch Nails was the work of the devil. She was offended because the word "fuck" was used a couple of times in the lyrics, especially in the song Closer, the lyrics go, I want to fuck you like an animal. Tiffany's favorite Nine Inch Nails song was Head Like a Hole, but that song offended Susan the most because that song seemed to question authority and Susan was afraid that Tiffany might develop independent thought. Well, Susan lectured Tiffany and told her that kind of music is really harmful with Satanic messages and that her Nine-Inch Nails CD should be thrown into the garbage. Well, because she felt that Susan was a good friend, Tiffany believed everything that Susan said and she threw her Nine Inch Nails CD in the garbage. No questions asked. Of course Tiffany would be better off listening to Boys II Men which caused her to feel like committing suicide.

      Tiffany's best friend (if you can call her that) was Karen. Karen was a stuck up, phony snotty cunt. Karen would constantly bitch to Tiffany about the pettiest things like her hair not being combed good enough or the way she dressed was out of date with current fashion trends. Karen liked to criticize Tiffany for the way she looked because it made her feel superior to her. Karen told Tiffany that it was constructive criticism and she cared about her. Then she would say rude obnoxious things to her and make fun of her for everything. Tiffany liked to have stuck up snotty phony cunts for friends because they were "popular" and she believed that just because they acted like they were better than everyone, then it meant that they were. Tiffany believed that having a bunch of scumbags for friends was the American way. The problem was she didn't feel that she could talk about the concerns she had with them, or be herself, so she felt very isolated.

     The biggest thrill that Tiffany had in life was going out to Burger King with all those stuck up snotty teenagers after the football game was over. As time went on, Tiffany was getting tired of Burger King. The food there smelled and tasted like throw up and it caused her to get diarrhea. She wanted to go eat somewhere else, but all her "friends" wanted to go to Burger King, so she would end up doing what they wanted to do instead of what she wanted to do, but she felt that's the way it should be. As time went on though, Tiffany was bitching and complaining to everyone about how she was sick and tired of going to Burger King all the time and she told them that she wanted to go somewhere else and the food from Burger King was causing her to get diarrhea. Karen said to Tiffany, "we are sick and tired about hearing about your God damn loose bowel movements. If you don't like Burger King, then why don't you go crawl into a hole and never come out for Christ sake"? That remark caused Tiffany to start feeling disillusioned about how wonderful Karen was as a friend. She also started to feel disillusioned about how wonderful mainstream popular American teenagers are. About time.

        The day came that would permanently change Tiffany's opinion of mainstream popular American teenagers. It was the day of one of the biggest football games of the year and Tiffany was cheerleading and everything imaginable was going wrong. Tiffany had a bad yeast infection, diarrhea and to top it all off she was having her period. The football game was almost over but Tiffany could not take the pain and itching from her yeast infection any longer. She went into the locker room and scratched her cunt. The itching was so bad she could not stop scratching her cunt, even though she was getting menstrual blood all over the place. While she was still scratching her cunt, the football game was over and the other girls from the cheerleading squad came into the locker room and saw Tiffany was scratching her cunt with blood all over the place. To make matters worse Tiffany was startled when she saw the other girls coming into the locker room which caused her to lose control of her bowels and diarrhea was running down her legs. The other girls reacted by making fun of her. They said "everybody run, the Homecoming Queen's on the rag with a stinky yeast infection twat and diarrhea". Amazingly, born again self-righteous Susan who supports banning "obscene" rock music, shouted the words "stinky yeast infection twat". Karen's reaction was the cruelest. Karen said, "now it shows that you are a complete worthless loser. You are a piece of rotted yeast infected diarrhea and I hope you rot and die in the stench of your own shit, you worthless loser, bitch. You make me sick". Tiffany couldn't take it any longer. She lost control of her emotions and went into a major rampage as the menstrual blood and diarrhea started to dry on her legs. During her rampage, Tiffany said, "I hate all of you , your all a bunch of stuck up phony cunts. I'm going to get a chainsaw and cut all your fucking tits off, you fucking scumbags. Fuck you all. You can all eat out my yeast-infected cunt and you can all fucking die. Fuck you all, you fucking scumbag cunts, cunts, cunts, cunts, cunts". After that, Tiffany broke out crying hysterically and she ran out of the locker room with dried up menstrual blood and diarrhea all over her legs. By the way, she didn't go to Burger King that night, but all the other stuck up snotty scumbags did and guess what their conversations and gossip was about? Tiffany's menstrual blood, yeast infection, diarrhea and of course, her emotional outburst.

       Despite her rampage and telling Karen and her friends off, Tiffany was hoping that Karen would get over it and they could make up and continue to be friends. When 2 people are close friends with each other, they will sooner or later end up getting pissed off at one another and have a fight, but mature and intelligent people will talk things out and resolve things. Did Karen decide to resolve Tiffany's rampage by being mature and intelligent? No, she decided to resolve it by being a fucking cunt and she turned on Tiffany, permanently and never was her friend again and she got everyone else to turn on her too

       Tiffany discovered exactly how many real friends she really had; none. The emotional pain was horrible, not to mention the letdown. That was only the beginning of the additional amount of shit that would happen to Tiffany. The principal of the school felt that Tiffany's rampage was uncalled for and unprofessional behavior. He felt that her title of being the Homecoming Queen should be revoked and get kicked off the cheerleading squad. The principal called for an election among the students on whether Tiffany should have her title of Homecoming Queen revoked and be kicked off the cheerleading squad. He also had Karen put in charge of the election and she went around the school telling everyone to revoke her title for her "unprofessional behavior". The election was held and the students voted 1566 to 3 to revoke Tiffany's title of Homecoming Queen and she was kicked off the cheerleading squad. Also the students voted overwhelmingly to elect Karen as the new Homecoming Queen. It's rather amazing how Tiffany's behavior was unprofessional, yet it was ok when Karen called Tiffany a piece of rotted, yeast infected diarrhea. Well, the election was a popularity contest, so therefore Tiffany's behavior was inappropriate and Karen's behavior was fine.

      The Sunday following Tiffany having her title of Homecoming Queen being revoked, she and Karen were at worship services at Familyville's Baptist Church For Family Values. During communion, Karen was standing next to Tiffany and she would snicker and laugh at her. Karen would say very quietly to Tiffany, "well, if it isn't the exdiarrhea Homecoming Queen". Later, Karen said, "you're are no longer Homecoming Queen, but I am, na na na na". Tiffany just couldn't take it any more so right in the middle of the service, she ran up to Karen, started hitting her and she was screaming at the top of her lungs, "you're a real fucking cunt. I hate your fucking guts. I'm going to cut your fucking tits off with a fucking chainsaw and stick a hot iron up your cunt, you fucking troublemaker piece of shit. Fuck you, you fucking cunt". Somehow, Tiffany's outburst, disrupted the service. Tiffany's father, the preacher, not to mention the asshole was very embarrassed by the behavior of his daughter, but he handled it like any good Christian would. He apologized to Karen and her family over what had happened and he beat the shit out of Tiffany and he was on Karen's side.

        Members of the congregation were freaked out over Tiffany's behavior and they were wondering what made that nice girl turn into such a monster. Members of the congregation who had a low IQ, of course, did. "She must be on drugs", they said. They were somewhat right. Tiffany was having withdrawal symptoms and the drug she was on was called, Assholism. Tiffany would shoot up with Assholism by hanging out with her phony, popular scumbag friends. Shooting up with Assholism gave her such an unbeatable high. It was so much fun to hang around phony popular people who had nothing better to do than to gossip and make fun of people who are different. Tiffany was addicted to Assholism and because her friends turned on her, she suffered severe withdrawal.

      Deep down, despite what had happened, Tiffany felt that Jesus had a plan for her life. She just wasn't sure what it was. She started praying more often. Ever since she was a little girl, Tiffany would pray to Jesus to make her diarrhea go away. It didn't. Now that everyone hates her guts, Tiffany felt that she needed to turn to Jesus. She was told that everyone in the world could abandon you except Jesus and that's where Tiffany felt that there was some hope. Somehow, she didn't feel any better. Tiffany then saw a TV evangelist and he was talking about Jesus and he claimed to be one of the modern day disciples of Jesus, because he was the man of God. He claimed that his ministry would bring healing and fulfillment to people's lives. He even had a hotline for people to call for help, but it was mainly so he could get people to send him money. Anyway, Tiffany called and told them that she needs healing because she gets diarrhea all the time. They told her that if she wants to get healed, then she would have to send them money. Tiffany asked, "how much"? They said that if she has enough faith in Jesus, send everything she has and to give until it hurts. Tiffany sent them $300, which was all the money she had in the world. Amazingly, her diarrhea did not go away. Tiffany called them up and told them that her diarrhea didn't go away and she wanted to know why. The woman on the hotline said that she didn't send enough money and she didn't have enough faith in Jesus. Tiffany said that if sending $300 was not enough to make her diarrhea go away, then she wanted a refund. The woman on the hotline refused to give her one. That caused Tiffany to go into a rampage and she said, "I want my money back or I'm going to take my diarrhea and shove it down your throat until you choke on it you fucking cunt". The woman on the hotline started praying and said: "I pray for the soul of this young woman to be saved from the evils of her sin, in the name of Jesus". Tiffany said, "eat shit and die, you fucking cunt", and then she hung up the phone. Tiffany felt that even Jesus had abandoned her and she slipped into a deep depression.

OK Dude!  If you made it this far, you have very good taste in storytelling.  I bet you can't wait to read the next chapter, so lets read more about Tiffany's diarrhherea adventures and learn more about Roger in Chapter II