I used to believe that Christmas was something that was just wonderful and magical, but after I got older, I discovered that Christmas is nothing more than a load of shit. Christmas is good at make people who are in dysfunctional families or no families at all feel like shit. Also, all that good will and piece on Earth is all a bunch of phony bullshit, considering that most people are full of shit anyway.

    Back in the days when I used to like Christmas, I used to enjoy listening to Christmas songs before I discovered that Christmas sucks, but I can't enjoy them anymore because I hate Christmas. I really hate songs about Santa Clause because there is no such thing as a Santa Clause, but there are 2 songs about Santa Clause that I really enjoy. The 1st song about Santa Clause that I really enjoy listening to is the Cheech and Chong song about Santa Clause. In order for someone to write a good song about Santa Clause, they should smoke a lot of dope 1st. The other song about Santa Clause that I really enjoy listening to is from a group called Insane Clown Posse who sing a song called Santa Clause is a fat Bitch. I would like to thank Kare11 for making me aware of Insane Clown Posse because of all the people I know, no one bothered to tell me about the wonderful songs they sing. What happened is these teenagers decided to break into a cemetery and dig up some of the dead bodies and Kare11 decided to blame it on Insane Clown Posse. That was when Napster was still around, so I decided to go on there and look for Insane Clown Posse and the very 1st song I downloaded from them is the song called Santa Clause is a fat Bitch. I also enjoy listening to Christmas songs with explicit lyrics. My favorite ones are Frosty the Pervert and Rudolph the Deep Throat Reindeer.

    Another thing that really annoys me about Christmas are all the depressing stories I hear on the news about the needy. I remember hearing stories on the news about the needy since the 1970s and the only thing that has changed since then is the problem has gotten worse. The corporate scum who control the media are not interested in solving poverty. All they do is have poor people go on TV talking about how grateful they are when someone decides to throw a few crumbs at them at Christmas time. How about attacking the root causes of poverty? 1 of the biggest root causes of poverty is breeding, but the mainstream corporate media doesn't talk about that because they don't want people to think. There are a lot of charities that encourage people to donate food and diapers. How about encouraging some family planning? They should tell people to donate condoms to the needy. Also, Toys for Tots are not going to attack the root causes of poverty. Instead of Toys for Tots, how about Tools for Tots? That would include giving them the tools they need to feel good about themselves, which is a good way to prevent them from turning to crime and drugs. The idea I mentioned sounds too intelligent, so it will never get implemented because humans are stupid and don't like good ideas. People should also donate copies of Personal Power CDs from Tony Robbins to the poor. If people would listen to Tony Robbins, people would be able to unleash their potential for prosperity and abundance and they wouldn't be poor anymore. Most people can't afford the $249 that it costs to purchase Personal Power CDs and tapes, but people should download it on the file sharing programs that are on the inter-net, burn it onto CDs and then donate them to charity. Some people may consider that to be stealing, but remember that Tony Robbins is a multi-millionaire, so he can afford to have people steal his stuff and besides Tony Robbins said that he is interested in helping people, so he will understand.

    Anyway, I will be so happy once Christmas is over, but being happy won't last long. The holiday that follows Christmas is Valentines Day and Valentines Day sucks. Valentines Day is an insult for people who can't find a piece of ass to stick their dick in. The good thing about recent Valentine's Day is there is an erotic poetry slam, which gives me the opportunity to talk about weird and bizarre sex acts, which makes Valentine's Day a lot better. The holiday that follows Valentine's Day is Easter. Easter sucks! Then Mother's Day follows Easter and Mother's Day sucks!

      After that, things get even worse because summer comes. A lot of people like summer, but I hate summer because the weather is too fucking hot out. Summer is the time of year when flies and mosquitoes are out and the air smells like shit. Now as soon as Labor Day comes things start to get better because that means that the weather will be getting cooler. When I was a kid, I used to hate Labor Day because that meant that it was time to go back to school and school sucks. Now that I ain't in school anymore, I really look forward to Labor Day. Now there are a lot of people who like summer because there is green grass and green leaves on the trees. I say "fuck the green grass and fuck the green leaves because my favorite month of the year is October because in October there are yellow, orange and red leaves on the trees. I wish that there were yellow, orange and red leaves on the trees every day because that's cool. I also like October because Halloween is in October. I also wish that every day was Halloween because Halloween rules! I like Halloween because when I go out on Halloween I like to take a ghost with me that lights up and shakes. I also like to dress up as a punk rock drag queen corpse on Halloween too. The thing that I like about Halloween is it is the 1 day of the year in which it's OK to be weird. That is why Halloween is about the only holiday that doesn't suck.

     As soon as Halloween is over, things start to go downhill very quickly. I do like Thanksgiving because I like to go to Old Country Buffet for my Thanksgiving feast. The thing that I don't like about Thanksgiving is it leads to Christmas and that sucks. Another thing is most movies and TV shows about Christmas sucks. Movies like, Miracle and 34th street and It's a Wonderful Life suck and Al Bundy really hates that movie too. The good news is there are some TV shows and movies about Christmas that are cool. My favorite movie about Christmas is Silent Night Deadly Night, which is about a Santa Clause who goes out and kills people. My favorite part of that movie is when Santa Clause strangles someone with a string of Christmas lights. I highly recommend that you go down to your video store and rent that wonderful holiday movie. Married with Children had a couple of wonderful episodes about Christmas. My favorite 1 was about the Santa Clause who was going to be parachuted into the Lakeside Mall, but his parachute failed to open and Santa Clause ends up crashing and is splattered all over Al Bundy's back yard. Another good Married With Children is based on the movie It's a Wonderful life in which Al Bundy wishes that he had never been born, but Al is inspired when a guardian angel shows Al how his life would have been if he had never been born and discovers that his wife, Peg would be happy, so Al Bundy learns that the purpose of his life is to make all the people around him miserable, which makes him feel much better. My favorite is watching the Beavis and Butt-Head Christmas special because Beavis and Butt-Head like to talk about stuff that sucks and people who talk about stuff that sucks are cool!

    People who talk about stuff that sucks are considered "negative."  People who say say that can go suck my dick, although they can eat out Tiffany's twat while she's on the rag.  Problems do not get solved by pretending that the world doesn't suck, which is why you need to go back to Pat's 2003 Vision of the World Page to read more thought provoking stuff.