Eric


Client: Eric S.

D.O.B: September 30, 1949



Eric, to put it simply, is a genius.  His research papers regarding Chaos
Theory have been widely published in many high-brow magazines including:
"Scientific American", "Popular Quantum Physics", and "Egghead Monthly". 
His many talents range from a mastery of videogames (especially those
involving waterfowl-shooting) to the ability to read a dozen books and/or
magazines simultaneously while watching "Jeopardy" -- and answering every
question with an accuracy that would put a multi-million dollar Cray
supercomputer to shame.  On top of this, he is a world-class checkers
player -- he has easily beaten the best Russian masters without breaking a
sweat.



Eric also possesses an uncanny ability to mimic major movie and television
actors with machine-like precision.  When he leaves for work each morning,
he softly mutters "I'll be back", and the listener is left slackjawed with
goosebumps dotting both arms -- his intonation is so perfect you would
swear the Terminator is sitting in front of you.  If any clients get on
Eric's nerves, he will grab the lightgun from his Nintendo, point it at the
source of his irritation, and softly whisper: "Feel lucky punk?".  The
client causing Eric distress will run for his life -- fearful of "Dirty
Eric" and his killer instinct.  Eric also enjoys a nightly caffeinated
beverage, and when asked what he would like to drink, he intones: "Go
ahead... make my coffee".  Eastwood would be proud.



Other than that, Eric enjoys conversations with staff that run the gamut
from Middle-Eastern sociopolitical theories to Renaissance art to Baroque
classical music.  Eric will talk for hours about his vision of a unified,
economically sound Canada.  As a matter of fact, Eric once tried running
for public office, but found the daily grind of political life far too
tedious.



Besides, a career as a statesman would have taken time away from his true
love -- oil and watercolor painting.  Many of Eric's masterful canvases can
be found proudly displayed in several major art galleries across Canada,
the United States, and Europe.



With what little spare time Eric has left during his busy day, he will
watch the occasional television program.  Eric seems to prefer shows that
appeal to his intellect and broad base of psychological knowledge.  For
example, he will view "Married with Children" and pick out clever Freudian
references and Jungian inside jokes.  Christina Applegate is the icing on
the cake.  Hey, the guy's only human!



In summary, Eric is a man who lives life to the fullest -- always seizing
the opportunity to broaden his horizons and expand the world in which he
lives.



Ciao!
  	
					Home