Eric
Client: Eric S. D.O.B: September 30, 1949 Eric, to put it simply, is a genius. His research papers regarding Chaos Theory have been widely published in many high-brow magazines including: "Scientific American", "Popular Quantum Physics", and "Egghead Monthly". His many talents range from a mastery of videogames (especially those involving waterfowl-shooting) to the ability to read a dozen books and/or magazines simultaneously while watching "Jeopardy" -- and answering every question with an accuracy that would put a multi-million dollar Cray supercomputer to shame. On top of this, he is a world-class checkers player -- he has easily beaten the best Russian masters without breaking a sweat. Eric also possesses an uncanny ability to mimic major movie and television actors with machine-like precision. When he leaves for work each morning, he softly mutters "I'll be back", and the listener is left slackjawed with goosebumps dotting both arms -- his intonation is so perfect you would swear the Terminator is sitting in front of you. If any clients get on Eric's nerves, he will grab the lightgun from his Nintendo, point it at the source of his irritation, and softly whisper: "Feel lucky punk?". The client causing Eric distress will run for his life -- fearful of "Dirty Eric" and his killer instinct. Eric also enjoys a nightly caffeinated beverage, and when asked what he would like to drink, he intones: "Go ahead... make my coffee". Eastwood would be proud. Other than that, Eric enjoys conversations with staff that run the gamut from Middle-Eastern sociopolitical theories to Renaissance art to Baroque classical music. Eric will talk for hours about his vision of a unified, economically sound Canada. As a matter of fact, Eric once tried running for public office, but found the daily grind of political life far too tedious. Besides, a career as a statesman would have taken time away from his true love -- oil and watercolor painting. Many of Eric's masterful canvases can be found proudly displayed in several major art galleries across Canada, the United States, and Europe. With what little spare time Eric has left during his busy day, he will watch the occasional television program. Eric seems to prefer shows that appeal to his intellect and broad base of psychological knowledge. For example, he will view "Married with Children" and pick out clever Freudian references and Jungian inside jokes. Christina Applegate is the icing on the cake. Hey, the guy's only human! In summary, Eric is a man who lives life to the fullest -- always seizing the opportunity to broaden his horizons and expand the world in which he lives. Ciao! Home