TOKYO DOME, TOKYO, JAPAN
THE CARD THAT COULD NOT BE SANCTIONED ANYWHERE ELSE!
Return to Main Menu
JR: WELCOME TO BACKLASH! I am Good Ol’ JR! along side my broadcast colleague Jerry The King.
King: Thanks JR and I tell you it is something to be here In the Gigantic Tokyo Dome this palace is SO large I don’t even think Godzilla could take it down , but you better believe that if he does show up it wont be King Kong or King Kong Bundy who takes him it will be yours truly Jerry the King Lawler.
Jr: Ok King Well I think we should get down to business because I am so ready for some of the most brutal assortment of matches ever to grace a Pay Per View Venue.
King: And we are about to start with the first of our Main Events!
MAIN EVENT DEATHMATCH CHALLENGE: CACTUS JACK VS TARZAN GOTO
FIRST FALL: GLASS CRASH SPIDER NET MATCH
On two sides of the ring the ropes are wrapped in barbed wire. On the sides of the ring with normal ropes, those opposite and on the same side as the entrance aisle, are the Glass Crash Spider Net Beds of Pain. These are huge glass boxes in a wooden frame. Just below the surface of the glass ceilings is a spider web made of barbed wire, and glass shards are in the bottom of the bed of pain. In the ring, in opposite corners, are two panes of glass in wooden frames elevated at a thirty degree angle.
Tarzan Goto's music hits first and he heads to the ring with the Interpreter, a look of determination on his face. Cactus Jack walks to the ring, receiving a huge pop from the audience, but he is completely focused and pays no attention to the screaming fans. He and Goto stand face to face and then begin a dramatic exchange of punches. Cactus takes control after a boot to the stomach and pounds Tarzan in the corner until Goto hits hiw with a chop in the throat. Goto gets Cactus in the corner and mauls him with punches. Each brutal punch makes a sickening "smack" on impact and Cactus is in trouble. Goto backs up and charges when Cactus kicks him in the head, then beats Goto down in the corner with a quick series of punches. With Goto sitting in the corner, Cactus charges in and rams both knees into Goto's face!
With Goto in trouble, Cactus whips him back first into the barbed wire! Goto falls to his knees in pain and Cactus tries another whip, but Goto reverses and Cactus is launched violently into the barbed wire. Cactus stumbles forward in pain and is knocked down by a huge clothesline. Cactus gets up near the aisle side of the ring and Goto karate kicks him in the chest, sending him through the ropes, but Foley holds on to the ropes and doesn't fall into the Glass Pit. Cactus gets knocked to the floor by a baseball slide and Tarzan comes out after him only to be met by a barrage of punches and a neckbreaker on the floor! As Goto gets to his feet, Cactus climbs up on the apron and hits Tarzan with his trademark cannonball dive! Goto is hurt and Cactus tries to whip him into the steel railing, but Goto reverses and Cactus hits the rail violently with his hip and flies over into the crowd! Goto headbutts Foley and suplexes him back over the railing to the floor. Goto grabs a chair, but doesn't notice that Cactus has also grabbed a chair. The two men swing at the same time and the chairs collide. Cactus and Tarzan begin sword fighting with the chairs for several minutes until both lose their grip. Goto kicks Cactus in the face, picks up a chair and hits him in the head with such force that a piece of the chair flies off!
Cactus is hurt bad and Goto tries to suplex him into the Glass Crash Spider Net, but Cactus blocks it, reverses positions and suplexes Tarzan through the glass and barbed wire! Goto screams in pain and tries to free himself from the barbed wire as Cactus climbs up on the apron with a chair, diving off and driving the weapon into his foe's face. Cactus throws Tarzan into the ring and goes for the pin, but he kicks out. Cactus hangs Goto in a tree of woe position against the barbed wire, charging forward with a flying elbow. Cactus pins Goto for a 2 count. Goto gets up and Cactus pounds him near the ropes in an effort to knock him into the second pit. He runs forward, but Goto catches him and powerslams him over the ropes through the second pit! Cactus is in pain and Goto begins stomping him, then picks him up and throws him backwards headfirst into the wreckage. Goto begins ripping out long spools of barbed wire and throwing them into the ring. He then scoops Cactus up and slams him back into the bed of pain!
JR: This is insane! The brutality these men are putting their bodies through is inhuman!
Goto throws Cactus into the ring and begins pummeling him in the corner. As the punches connect the sound of Cactus' nose breaking can be heard. Cactus is dazed and Goto begins wrapping a piece of barbed wire around his heavily taped fist. Cactus charges but Goto punches him in the face with a barbed wire fist! Cactus is busted open and Goto pins him for a 2 count. Tarzan unwinds the barbed wire and begins using it to whip Cactus Jack! Pieces of shirt and blood begin flying as Goto repeatedly whips Cactus with the barbed wire. On the final swing the barbs stick and Goto has to pull it out of Jack. He then pins him for a nearfall. With Cactus in pain, Goto starts wrapping him in barbed wire. Cactus screams in pain as Goto tightens the barbed wire around him until he is completely wrapped in barbed wire! Goto then pins Cactus, still wrapped, and Cactus somehow kicks out! Goto picks another long piece of barbed wire, but as he turns Cactus Jack spears him, still wrapped in the barbed wire! Goto falls to the ground clutching his torn abdomen while Cactus frees himself from the barbed wire. As Goto gets to his feet, Cactus whips him with the barbed wire! Goto is in pain and Cactus hits the Cactus clothesline, carrying both men over the ropes into the first spider net! Both men are bloody and battered. Cactus crawls into the ring while Goto struggles to untangle himself from some of the barbed wire. As he crawls in the ring, Cactus legdrops the back of his head, sending Goto back into the bed of pain. In an act of pure insanity and hatred, Cactus dives off the apron with an elbow drop on Goto in the bed of pain! Cactus throws Goto into the ring and pins him, but Goto kicks out!
Cactus tries a piledriver, but Goto lifts him and sets him on the top turnbuckle opposite the aisle, his inside leg grinding painfully against the barbed wire on the one side of the post. Goto hits a series of vicious punches to stun Cactus and climbs up, intending to superplex him into the pane of glass set up in front of that corner. Cactus fights back and pushes Goto off balance, sending him crashing through the glass and wooden frame! He then hits an elbow off the top and pins Goto...1..2...kick out! Cactus yells "Dammit!" and signals for the Mandible Claw, but Tarzan hits him with a piece of wood from the frame, breaking it over the side of Foley's neck! Cactus is down and hurt badly and Goto hits him with a Brainbuster. 1-2- Cactus kicks out! Goto picks Cactus up and powerbombs him through the unbroken pane of glass! He pins Cactus, but he kicks out again! Furious, Goto places several handfulls of glass in the middle of the ring, but Cactus hits him with a piece of the frame. Goto is stunned and Cactus gives him a piledriver on the glass! Cactus goes for a pin, but Goto kicks out! He holds his head, now full of glass, as blood pours out from between his fingers. Cactus tries for a second piledriver, but Goto backdrops him on the glass shards.
As Cactus gets up, Goto stuns him and gives him the Inverted Belly Flop Piledriver! Cactus looks to be out cold, and Goto pins him. At the last split second Cactus somehow gets his shoulder up! Goto is shocked. Filled with rage, he drags the wreckage of the wooden frame and glass pane to the middle of the ring and goes for a second Inverted Piledriver on the wreckage! Goto is unaware that Cactus has a piece of barbed wire in his hand. Cactus low blows Goto with the barbed wire and then gives him a Double Arm DDT on the wreckage! He rolls over and drapes an arm on Tarzan's chest...1...2....3!
The winner of the first fall: Cactus Jack!
Cactus slowly rolls out of the ring and stumbles to the back with one arm raised in victory, while Goto stumbles to the back, covered in blood.
JR: How on earth can these two men possibly compete in two more battles tonight!
Triple Threat Hardcore Title HBK, Matt Hardy, Bret Hart
Matt Hardy is the first man to enter. He looks very confident and he has the face of a true champion, only time will tell if he will walk out of here as the new Hardcore champion. The next to enter is Bret The Hitman Hart. The fans in Japan are screaming like crazy apparently there are a lot more Hart Fan’s then M’fers in the Tokyo Dome. The third man HBK comes out and he is donning the hardcore title dancing away to the theme of Sexy Boy. HBK enters the ring amidst some crazy pyro and the bell rings shortly after.
HBK and Brett Hart are eyeing each other up. There is a lot of history in this match in fact so much that they pay little attention TO Matt Hardy who has slipped outside and garbs a steel chair. He sneaks behind Bret as He and HBK Stare down each other and HBK laughs and points in Hardy Direction trying to warn Hart, though He knows Hart will think it a trick and Hardy winds up and cracks Bret in the back as HBK makes a mocking face in pain. Hardy begins to celebrate when out of Know Where HBK attacks Hardy with a drop kick. Hardy falls to the ground and HBK runs drop and elbow and follows it up with a camel clutch. “TAP OUT HARDY TAP OUT “ HBK screams. Just Then Bret regains his whereabouts and kicks HBK in the mouth as He holds hardy in the camel Clutch He tosses HBK to the outside and then delivers a back breaker to Hardy and goes for the pin. 1…..2…. kick out as Hardy gets his shoulder up. Bret continues in on the dishing out the pain as he places Hardy in a bow and arrow lock. Hardy is in sever pain but HBK has managed to get his hands on Television monitor and he cracks over Hart’s head. Hart looks out cold. HBK goes for the pin 1……..2………… no Hardy mages to breakup the count by using a least bit of energy to shove off HBK from the out cold Hitman. HBK is shocked that there is still life left in Matt Hardy he picks up hardy and whips him off the ropes. The two run at full throttle but Hardy is able to pull off a great head scissors take down and HBK is sent tumbling over the ropes. Bret is still out on his back and hardy goes for the pin. 1…..2…. kick out as Bret is able to elbow off Hardy. Dazed the Hit man executes and slide-Russian take down and he then climbs to the second rope and drops and Elbow. He goes for the pin 1….2… NO HBK pulls Hart to the outside and the two begin to exchange lefts and Right till HBK grabs Harts Head and bashes it off the Spanish announce table sending Hart to his knees. HBK then grabs the ring bell and runs and cracks it into the skull of hart creating a pleasant little Ding. HE goes for the Pin 1…2…. Broke up by a flying Hardy who launches himself over the ring rope. All three men are on their backs now and the ref begins to count 1….2…..3….4…5…6…7 Hart and HBK slowly get up when HBK knees Bret in the gut and is able to secure a double leg take down. With both legs in his hands HBK applies the sharpshooter to the Hitman. Bret screams in pain. “TAP BRET TAP DAMN IT:” Screams HBK. HE continues to apply the hold when Hardy gets up and lord and behold steals a page out of HBK and connects with some Sweet Chin Music of his own to HBK’ Hardy goes for the pin 1….2… HBK kicks out but barely. Hardy can not believe it he begins to argue with the ref as Bret Hart gets up he spins Hardy around this time he steals Hardy Twist of Fate. He goes for the pin 1…2…. HBK breaks up the pin. Hart is Furious the two begin to exchange clubbing blows When Bret gets the advantage with a kick down south. He Places HBK on the Announce Table and Jumps up on the apron. Then Bret proving how Hardcore he can be drops a patented Bret Hart Elbow sending HBK thorough the table. Two minutes Later both Bret and Hardy have managed to get up and Hart though looks winded and is propped up on the ring post. Hardy runs at with a dropkick but misses and end up In a very awkward position with the ring pole in between both legs Hart then gets back in the ring and slaps on his sharpshooter with the ring post as added leverage and since it is a Hardcore match it is legal. HBK though is still out cold and the ref asks Hardy if He quits, hardy shouts “YES !I quit”
As he taps out.
Winner: New Champ Bret Hart
Bret is celebrating in the ring when HBK a battered and bloody mess climbs in and from behind hits Sweet Chin Music on Hart. He grabs the Hardcore title and Shouts This Is not Over Bret and throws down the hardcore title at Bret’s face.
Backstage Michael Cole has the privilege of interviewing HHH.
Cole: HHH tonight not only do you have a chance to send Shane McMahon to the hospital but you have claimed that you are going o beat the name of your attacker out of him before the match is over.
HHH Your dam right Cole. Camera man get a good look at me I am now back at 100% and when IM done with Shane well lets just say I hope the Bitch likes Jell-O cause its all he will be able to eat for the next 4 weeks. I’m the game damn it, I was this close to gaining a title shot and then this mystery attacker cheap shots the game as he is training to be the best well Shane mark my words your going to give me a name before I close those doors on you. SO Shane make show your HMO is standing by cause I am read to go.
HHH then walks away and he music is playing as Shane is all ready in the ring.
Time to play the Game blasts over the PA and HHH walks out sledge hammer in hand and an irremovable scowl. He gets in the ring and the bell rings.
Match
HHH runs full force swinging the Hammer and Shane hightails it out of there. And HHH follows slowly with hammer in tow. Shane backs up but trips on the steel steps. HHH winds up and lets the hammer down but Shane quickly gets out of the way. The reverb knocks the hammer from HHH’s hand and Shane connects with a chop block at the previously injured knee of HHH. Shane picks up a nearby steel chair and wedges HHH leg into to it he runs up the stairs jumps off on the chair injuring the leg further. Shane posses to the crowd as they all boo him for his actions. He picks up HHH and slams him on in the middle of the aisle Shane then picks up the steps and claims to the top. He turns his back to HHH and oh my god performs a standing Moonsault but alas HHH has moved and both men lay out cold on the isle. HHH tough is the first to get up as he limps his right leg in some pain. HHH then picks up Shane but his leg gives out and Shane lands on top of him and beings letting looses some punches to HHH’s face. This goes on for about 30 seconds when HHH is able to battle back launching some forearm shots to the Jaw of Shane McMahon. HHH gets up and he lifts Shane up and this time is successful in doing so and he slams him hard against the steel ramp. HHH then begins to drag Shane to the end of the aisle where the ambulance is. He leans Shane up against the ambulance runs back and hits a patented HHH high knee to Shane McMahon knocking Shane to the Ground He then picks up McMahon and screams “who is it Damn it? Shane raises his middle finger angering HHH who responds by tossing McMahon against the ambulance. HHH then runs back to the ring and grabs his sledge hammer and storms back to McMahon who has hoisted himself up on the ambulance and HHH then swings the Hammer but Shane quickly scurries up on the top of the ambulance and HHH follows but Shane hit HHH with a drop kick staggering him as he teeters on the side of the ambulance that is not near the near ramp but a 12 foot bottom drop. Shane then launches a spear on HHH but he side steps and Shane has nearly fallen off but is holding on for deer life .
HHH “Tell me who did this who was it Shane Ill pick you up but tell me who did this?”
Shane “OK, Ok IT WAS EDDIE now let me up.
HHH being a man of his word helps Shane up. Shane looks so relived HHH smiles and kicks him in the gut slaps on the Pedigree and hits it on top of the ambulance. HHH then roles Shane’s Body off the ambulance on to the ramp and picks up tosses him into the ambulance and tosses Shane in who has been bloodied by the pedigree on top of the ambulance.
Winner: HHH
JR: After all the carnage we have just witnessed, it is time for the second fall in one half of our double main event!
MAIN EVENT DEATHMATCH CHALLENGE: CACTUS JACK VS TARZAN GOTO
SECOND FALL: LIGHT TUBE CAGE MATCH
Both men stumble to the ring, still covered in now drying blood from their previous match.
J.R. - What can these men possibly have left to prove. The hatred between these two men must be huge for the two of them to continue after that horrific battle.
As the men are held back by two Ref's, the huge glass structure is lowered from above. Ten foot light tubes hang vertically, each glowing brightly are suspended by the two large steel frames. Huge steel posts wrapped in barb wire are in each corner, supporting the frame. A single ladder is drapped from over the huge cage, a single means of excape. The Refs climb the ladder as the two men stare into each others eyes from opposite corners. As the refs leave, the bell is rung and the second match begins. Both men charge from across the ring, lowering their head. *Crack* a sickening noise is heard as the tops of both mens heads collide, Cactus getting the worst of it as Tarzan's head is still embeded with broken glass from the piledriver. Goto stands and tosses Cactus to the ropes, then Backdrops him upsidedown into the opposite ropes, the momentum putting Cactus's foot through one of the many light tubes, which expodes and showers glass down onto Cactus. As Cactus flops forward, Goto starts to climb the ladder, and is almost to the top when Cactus Jack dropkicks the hanging ladder, which disconects from the steel structure and falls into the ring, Tarzan falling back into the ring.
J.R. - Oh my god! Someone stop this damn match, these men have no way to get out of the ring safely!
King - Well that is true, I guess there is just one way out of the ring now!
Cactus lifts the Ladder and rams it into Tarzans head, who falls back into the turnbuckle. Cactus leans the ladder against Goto, then takes some steps back. He charges forward only to have the ladder thrown at him. Cactus hits it aside, then steps back and charges again. Tarzan backdrops him into the barb wire wrapped steel post, his legs going through the nearby lighttube bars. Screaming Cactus falls head first into the ring. One of the lighttube ends falls from above and digs into Cactus Jack's shoulder, leaving a footlong chunk of glass impaled in his back. Tarzan laughs as Cactus gets up using his remaining right arm.
J.R. - Someone is going to get killed in there...STOP THE DAMN MATCH.
Cactus and Tarzan lock up in the center of the ring. Tarzan tries to get the better by pushing down on the foot long piece of glass still sticking vertically from his shoulder. Cactus screams, but manages to toss Tarzan face first into the glass bars between the top and second rope. Cactus Grabs Tarzan and Drags him sideways through the remaining bars to the turnbuckle, opening huge wounds on his belly and back. Tarzan's single arm tights are now sliced open and hanging around his waist, the top portion hanging from his shoulder. Cactus Jack screams like a crazy person as he sits onto Tarzan's back, digging him down onto the glass tubes. Cactus screams as he gets off, pulling Tarzan forward where he falls to the mat. It looks for a moment that Cactus will clib through the missing glass where he put Tarzan through, but he stops, a smile crossing his face. Grabing and unscrewing a lighttube, Cactus holds it with his remaining arm, his left arm dragging and useless. Climbing onto the top of the turnbuckle, Cactus leaps from the top, sandwiching the lighttube between their bodies.
J.R. - This is SICK!
Cactus, hurt from his own move, doubled over, picks Tarzan from the mat and throws him at the one of the two remaining undamaged light tube walls. As Tarzan hits the ropes, Cactus hits his classic clothsline sending both men tumbling through the light tube cage. Glass rains down on the two men as they fall to the floor, unmoving. A pool of blood is seaping outward from the bodies of both men, the ring canvas stained in many places.
King - Who won?
J.R. - Who cares god damnit! Would someone get a stretcher for these two men.
One of the two refs grabs a mic after walking from a monitor.
Ref - After reviewing the footage, Tarzan Goto's foot hit the floor before Cactus Jack's, therefore a third Match is needed to determine a winner and a third fall will take place!
WINNER: TARZAN GOTO
EMT's cart both men to the back on stetchers, neither men moving. The black mats stained red where they had been laying.
J.R - what can these two men possibly have left for the third match?
King - Didn't you ask that in the last match?
Backstage, Mr McMahon is talking to Triple H.
VINCE: I know that you are extremely angry Hunter, but I want no interference in this next match,
but I will give you a match of your choosing on the next show against Eddie...
HHH just smiles and walks off, the look of a stone cold killer in his eyes.
RVD VS EDDIE GUERRERO TLC MATCH WITH PINFALLS
And assortment of tables, ladders and chairs are set up around the ring area for the next match.
JR: This all comes about because of an arguement over who has the best frog splash...these men will put their bodies on the line tonight.
RVD hits the ring first, looking confident since he beat Eddie in their previous match.
Eddie comes out next in a lowrider, determined to avenge his loss in the frog splash challenge.
RVD attacks Eddie as he tries to get out of the car and hits him with stiff punches and kicks. He bounces Eddie's head off the car and whips him hard into the railing. RVD tries to whip Eddie into the car, but he reverses and RVD is sent flying over the hood! Now Eddie is in control and hits RVD with a chair. RVD staggers to the ring and Eddie picks up a ladder and rams it into his ribs, then his face, busting him open! Eddie sets up the ladder against the side of the ring and tries to whip RVD into it but he reverses and Eddie hits the ladder face first, busting him open as well. RD sets up a table, lays Eddie on it, then hits him in the stomach with a chair! With Eddie in pain, RVD sets up the ladder and jumps off with a legdrop on Eddie through the table! Both men are down and hurt and the match has yet to get into the ring. RVD goes for the pin but Eddie kicks out. RVD gets up and puts the ladder in the ring. He throws Eddie in, picks up the ladder and charges, but Eddie does a drop toe hold and RVD falls, the ladder landing on his head. Now Eddie grabs a table, sets it up in the corner, then hits RVD with his triple suplex, the first on the mat, the second on the ladder and the third through the table! Eddie pins RVD and he kicks out! Eddie is upset and argues with the ref. He grabs a chair and is about to hit RVD but gets caught with a Van Daminator! Both men are down and RVD slowly crawls over to make the pin, but Eddie gets his shoulder up! He rolls out of the ring, grabs a table and sets it up. He puts Eddie on the table, sets up the ladder, climbs it, then goes for the Five Star Frog Splash. Eddie rolls out of the way and RVD puts himself through the table! He is hurt bad and Eddie goes for the pin, but RVD kicks out! Eddie throws RVD out of the ring, kicks him in the head, then sets up another table. He puts RVD on the table and climbs up to the top turnbuckle, diving off with a Frog Splash. RVD moves and Eddie is now the one who crashed through a table. RVD tries to pin him, but Eddie kicks out! He climbs onto the apron and leaps at Eddie, who raises a steel chair into RVD's face! Eddie sets up the tall ladder and puts another ladder crosswise over the aisle, balanced on the railing, and lies RVD on top of it. Then he climbs the tall ladder.
JR: What in the hell is he doing?
KING: He's insane!
RVD gets up and starts climbing the other side. They exchange punches on the ladder and both fall off, landing on Eddie's low rider! The car is damaged and both men are down and out, RVD on his back and Eddie face down. A team thuganomics fan throws a bottle of water in Eddie's face, waking him up. With the little strength he has left, Eddie manages to put his arm onto RVD. The ref counts: 1-2-3!
WINNER: Eddie Guerrero
JR: Well King, it just goes to show how a little fan support can really help you win a match sometimes!
EMT's come and help both men off the car and wheel them out on stretchers.
HHH walks up to Eddie's stretcher, grabs him by the neck and says "I know it was you that attacked me, Eddie...I could end your career right now, but I don't want it that way...but when we get back to the States, you're mine..."
JAKE THE SNAKE ROBERTS VS KANE FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE BARBED WIRE BRICK MATCH
Jake comes to the ring first, as officials wheel a huge pile of barbed wire wrapped bricks to the ring and set it up on one side of the ring.
Kane comes next, determinded to destroy Jake for his recent actions. He moves in and misses a punch, and Jake hits a series of jabs. Kane tries to grab Jake, but misses and gets backed into a corner by another series of punches. Kane finally grabs Jake by the neck, throws him into the corner and unloads on him with a series of punches, then whips him to the opposite corner, charges in with a clothesline and sidewalk slams Jake as he stumbles forward. Kane goes for a pin and gets a 2 count. Kane tries a boot on Jake but misses and gets clotheslined over the ropes, landing on his feet on the pile of bricks! He grabs Jake by the neck, but Jake punches free, knocking Kane off the bricks to the floor. Jake drops an elbow from the apron and pins Kane for a 2 count.
The Snake tries to whip Kane into the bricks, but Kane reverses and Jake hits the bricks back first. He drops to his knees in pain and Kane rams his face into the pile. He pins Jake for a 2 count. Kane moves in again but Jake does a drop toe hold and Kane's jaw hits the bricks! Jake then rams his face into the bricks and pins him for a 2 count. Jake picks up a brick and swings it but Kane ducks and shoves Jake into the post. He then picks up the brick and presses it down on Jake's head, causing blood to pour from his scalp and continuing the pressure until Jake gives him a low blow. Jake then takes the brick an proceeds to rake it back and forth on his foe's bald head, drawing blood. Kane rolls into the ring and Jake follows, raking the brick across his back and ripping the skin! Kane gets up near the ropes and Jake rushes in, only to be backdropped over the ropes onto the bricks!
Jake is in pain and Kane pins him on the bricks for a 2 count. Kane sets Jake up for a chokeslam on the bricks but Jake kicks him and shortclotheslines him over the ropes into the ring. He goes for a pin and Kane kicks out. Jake then clotheslines him out of the ring near the aisle and tries to DDT him on the floor, but Kane blocks it and the back of Jake's head hits the floor! Kane climbs to the top rope and as Jake stands up he hits his flying clothesline from the top rope to the floor! He pins Jake, who somehow kicks out! Furious, Kane picks Jake up, carries him to the bricks and slams him on top of them! He pins him but Jake kicks out and rolls into the ring. Kane follows and powerslam him, getting another nearfall. Kane signals for a chokeslam but gets caught with a knee. Jake tries the DDT but Kane rams him into the buckles back first. Jake spasms in pain and sinks to the canvas. Both men are bleeding from their heads and back.
Kane goes for a Tombstone, but Jake rakes the eyes, picks up the brick and breaks it over Kane's head, causing him to fall through the ropes onto the bricks! Jake pin Kane, but he kicks out! Jake then DDT's Kane on the bricks! 1-2-3
WINNER : JAKE THE SNAKE ROBERTS
As Jake is celebrating, some girly shit music plays and Randy Orton comes out with a microphone.
"Jake, you're a legend and I am a legend killer, and if I beat up the guy who hurt the Ministry they will be glad to have me, so here I come!"
Randy runs to the ring, but as he is trying to come through the ropes Jake knees him in the jaw and DDT's him! He then takes a barbed wire brick, pulls off Randy's ass bandage and shoves the brick up his shredded anus! Randy screams and cries as Jake dumps Damian on him, causing him to soil himself in fear.
Jake leaves with Damian around his shoulders as Randy sobs in the ring and Kane sits up on the bricks looking at the display in disgust and wondering why his brother would even consider letting Randy into the Ministry.
EARTHQUAKE VS AUSTIN SUMO LAST MAN STANDING DRINKING MATCH FOR THE US TITLE
Near the stage, a raised sumo platform is set up. Barbed wire boards are set up around the platform on the ground. A smaller platform is also set up where the officials, booze and managers will be. Earthquake is introduced first, along with Mr Fuji, Joe and Consuello. He is cheered by the crowd who remember his undefeated streak as Kototenzan in the world of sumo. He bows to the Emperor, who is sitting in a skybox. Austin is introduced next, along with DJ, bood by the Japanese crowd because he is taking on one of their favorites.
A sumo wrestler takes the microphone. "These are the rules. Combat will take place in normal sumo style, with 3 minute rounds. Before each round, each man must drink equal amount of their choice of booze. Steve Austin has chosen beer, Earthquake has chosen Smirnoff Ice! First man to either be thrown off platform or pass out drunk loses!"
While Quake throws ceremonial salt, Austin eagerly awaits the first drink.
KING: JR, Austin has got to hope he can outlast Quake in the drinking department, because there is no way he can outdo him in a sumo contest!
JR: Austin will do it, because he's STONE COLD,STONE COLD, STONE COLD!
Austin drinks a can of beer in one huge chug and Quake calmly drinks a large bottle of Smirnoff. The two enter the sumo platform and circle each other. They charge and Quake knocks Austin back to the edge. Austin quickly rushes back in and they lock up. The huge Earthquake easily throws Austin aside, but he manages to stay on the platform. Quake laughs and Austin snaps and starts unloading with right hands!
KING: Hey, this is sumo, he can't do that!
Ordinarily the crowd would cheer Austin, but the Japanese boo him.
His punches rock the Quake until he manages to catch Austin and pick him up, carrying him towards the edge but Austin thumbs him in the eye and keeps punhing. A gong sounds signalling the end of the first round.
Quake looks pissed. Both men drink, and then step into the platform for round 2.
Austin runs in swinging punches again, but after a few shots Quake grabs him by the throat and lifts him up into a hanging choke! He strangles Austin, who finally frees himself with a thumb in the eye and then tries to use the Thesz Press, but Quake catches him and again tries to chuck him off the platform, but Austin slips up over Quake shoulder. The gong sounds the end of the round. Meanwhile, DJ has secretly swithched Quake's saki with beer while Joe has done the same with Austin's beer. Both men drink and spit at the same time, furious!
Round three begins and Quake manages to get Austin in a traditional sumo lockup, pushing towards the edge of the platform. Just when it looks like he is done, DJ jumps onto the platform and kicks Earthquake in the ass! Quake is pissed and chases DJ off the platform. When he turns back, Austin violates all the rules of sumo, giving Quake a low blow and a Stunner!
JR: STONE COLD, STONE COLD, STONE COLD!
KING: He can't do that, he should be disqualified.
JR: STONE COLD, STONE COLD, STONE COLD!
The sumo ref wants to but is told by Paul Heyman that he can't.
Quake rolls to his knees, dazed while Austin waits to try and push him off. He tries but Quake uses his huge mass to resist, pushing back against Austin (note that Quake is very clean and DOES NOT SMELL!)
Meanwhile, DJ looks like he is going to get involved again until Mr Fuji, a legend of wrestling, locks in a Japanese nervehold, dropping DJ to his knees. DJ is tapping out but Fuji is sick of his antics and won't let go. Meanwhile, Austin tries another stunner, but Quake lifts him up and lauches him off the platform onto the barbed wire below! Austin is in agony as the barbed wire rips his skin, and he desperately tries to roll out of the mess.
WINNER: EARTHQUAKE
Fuji pushes DJ into the sumo platform, and Quake powerslams him, then gives him an Earthquake splash, crushing his sternum! Earthquake celebrates to a standing ovation!
KING: Well JR, looks like the Japanese have more respect for tradition than the fans back home! They hated Austin!
JOHN CENA VS KURT ANGLE: MEDAL AND CHAIN ON A POLE MATCH FOR THE IC TITLE
Two poles are set up in opposite corners, with Kurt's medals and Cena's chain on respective poles. Kurt Angle hits the ring first, looking intense and confident. He paces the ring while Cena comes to the ring. Since most of the fans are Japanese, Cena doesn't rap but instead focuses on Angle.
KING: This match will probably stay one on one. I don't think that any of the other Evolution or Team Thuganomics members are in any shape to interfere in this match!
JR: Well we know for sure Eddie Guerrero and Rob Van Dam won't be back tonight after crashing through the low rider!
Cena makes a quick run for the post with the chain but Kurt catches him and tackles him to the ground. They roll and exchange punches until they end up in the ropes. They get up and Cena runs at Kurt, only to be caught with an overhead belly to belly suplex! Cena lands hard and Kurt gives him a quick German suplex and pins him for a two count.
KING: Kurt was looking to end it without even using the weapons!
Angle climbs up to get his medals but Cena hits him from behind, pulls him down, and gives him a neckbreaker. He then whips Kurt off the ropes and hits him with a spinebuster. With Kurt in pain, Cena climbs up to get the chain, but Kurt hits his leg, crotching him on the top rope. Kurt climbs up behind Cena and sets him up for an Angle Slam off the top, but Cena elbows him in the face, knocking him off. Cena tries to climb, but Kurt runs up and pushes him off the top to the floor. He then tries to grab the chain himself. Kurt has his hand on the chain but Cena hops up on the apron and pushes him off. Cena climbs to the top but Kurt leaps onto the turnbuckle and belly to belly suplexes Cena off the top! Cena is hurt and Kurt hooks the leg, but Cena kicks out at 2. Kurt locks in an ankle lock, but Cena rolls out of it. He knees Kurt in the groin, doubling him over, then hits him with the throwback. He goes for the pin and Kurt kicks out at 2 and a half. Cena goes for the FU, but Kurt slips out and goes for the Angle Slam, but Cena slips out. Kurt quickly turns and the two men clothesline each other!
The two tired grapplers each crawl to the corner with their respective item and begin climbing. At the same instant they each grab their weapon, Kurt with the medals and Cena with the chain. They rush each other and end up hitting each other in the face at the same time with the weapons. The medals fly out of the ring near the aisle and Cena's chain ends up in a corner. Both men are knocked out and bleeding profusely. Just then, Jake the Snake Roberts' music plays and he walks to the ring, dressed in streetclothes and a leather jacket and carrying his snake bag. He is bandaged up after his match earlier with Kane.
Both men in the ring wake up as Jake reaches ringside. Cena has a look of desperation on his face and frantically crawls to the chain while Kurt smiles and says "Jake, give me the medals". Jake calmly picks the medals up as Cena wraps the chain around his fist. Angle holds out his hand, but Jake pauses and points behind Kurt. Kurt turns and Cena punches him in the face with the chain! Cena lands on top and the ref counts to three while Jake stands by and watches, an ice cold look in his eyes.
WINNER: JOHN CENA
Jake gets in the ring and a confused looking Cena rolls out of the ring with his chain and title belt. Jake helps Kurt to his feet. Kurt asks what happened and Jake asks him if he is alright. Suddenly, Jake winds up Kurt's arm and hits him with a short clothesline! The crowd is stunned. Jake pulls Kurt to his feet and gives him a vicious DDT, knocking him out. He then opens the snake bag and wraps Damian around Kurt's neck. The snake begins to squeeze and Kurt struggles, foam pouring from his mouth as he is being strangled. Jake grabs a microphone. "Angle you piece of crap, you thought you could use Jake the Snake Roberts? You're pathetic!" Jake sits in the corner and laughs as the snake continues to squeeze. Jake says "Evolution hasn't lived up to the benefits it promised me, Angle. I've been held back. You make me sick, Kurt." Jake stands over Angle and the Snake and laughs. "If I've said it once, I've said it a million times, Kurt, a snake strikes without warning."
Jake then takes Damian and walks out in disgust while EMT's rush to the ring and perform CPR to get Angle breathing again.
JR: What in the hell have we just witnessed? Jake the Snake has just turned on his own teammate!
KING: That snake was choking Kurt for a long time, he could be hurt badly.
EMTs continue to tend to Kurt while the show fades to an advertisement for KING OF THE RING.
UNDERTAKER VS BROCK LESNAR FIRE PIT MATCH
Near the entrance a large metal pit waits ominously. At a signal from Paul Heyman, a huge nob is turned and flames erupt in the pit.
Brock Lesnar is introduced first. He stops in the aisle to look at the pit for a minute, then makes his way to the ring. The deadman's music hits next and he makes his way to the ring with Paul Bearer, never even looking at the pit. He brings on the lights and gets in the ring, removing his coat and hat and flashing his fangs at Brock.
The two monsters trade punches and LOD gets the better of it, pounding Brock into the corner and choking him. Brock picks him up, runs across the ring and rams him into the corner, repeatedly ramming his shoulder into his foes stomach. Brock knocks him out of the ring and follows. LOD hits him in the face and the two brawl up the aisle towards the pit. They exhange punches just over the fire pit. LOD knees Brock in the ribs and rocks him with a series of punches. Just when it looks like Brock is going to fall in he rams his knee into his foe's abdomen. Now Brock it the one pounding his oppenent, trying to knock him into the pit. LOD suddenly grabs him by the neck and is about to chokeslam him into the fire pit! Brock is lifted into the air but rakes Lod' eyes. He staggers and Brock clotheslines him, causing him to fall and roll down the ramp into the aisle. Brock hits some vicious knees and and decides to wear him down in the ring. He hits an overhead belly to belly suplex and a spinebuster. Hoping to render his foe helpless, he sets up for an F5, but LOD slips out and connects with a boot that knocks him out of the ring. He pounds Brock up the aisle, but instead of going up the ramp they end up fighting on the ground near the metal pit. LOD stuns Brock with an elbow and whips him back first into the metal. The superheated metal hisses loudly as Brock's bare back touches it. Lesnar screams in pain and rolls on the floor in agony while his opponent laughs. LOD chokes Brock, then tries to whip him into the pit again. Brock reverses and LOD collides with the metal, rolling to the ground, his skin burned where his arms and face hit the hot metal. Brock laughs and yells "Ho does it feel, huh?" and kicks LOD in the ribs as he rises. He lifts Taker onto his shoulders, planning to throw him up and over the side into the pit, but LOD pounds free, then punches Brock in the back of the head. He then pushes Brock's face against the metal. Brock screams in agony as his face is being mercilessly pushed against the hot metal. When he finally releases Brock, he staggers up the ramp, holding his burning face. LOD follows and throws him off the ramp over the pit. Brock is holding on to the the edge, desperatly trying to climb back up. LOD smiles cruelly and steps on his hand. Brock desperatly bites his thigh! LOD leaps back and Brock climbs up and starts pounding him. He presses LOD up overhead and tries to throw him into the pit, but he rakes the eyes and falls to the ground. Brock is temprarily blinded and LOD boots him, sending him rolling down the ramp. Brock rolls into the ring and pounces on LOD when he crawls under the ropes. He tries a clothesline but misses and gets caught with a chokeslam! Brock looks to be out but LOD is exhausted and slumps in a corner. He gets up, picks Brock up and lifts him onto his shoulder, hoping to carry him up the ramp. Brock wakes up and struggles free, then hits LOD with an F5 in the middle of the ring! Brock now tries the same idea but as they near the ropes LOD reaches down and starts to choke him! He drops him and turns into a kick in the gut. LOD sets him up for a Last Ride but Brock lifts him up and sits him on the top rope. He climbs up, looking to superplex him, but LOD gives him a low blow. Brock doubles over but is still on the top rope. LOD picks him up and Tombstones him off the top rope!!!
JR: NO! His neck has to br broken.
The crowd cheers wildly. LOD picks the unconscious Brock up on his shoulder, carries him up the ramp and tosses him into the fire pit!
WINNER: UNDERTAKER
The crowd is stunned silent as LOD stands near the fire, an evil smile on his face.
JR: This has gone way to far. This match should never have been sanctioned. Paul Heyman should be ashamed of himself.
A puff of black smoke is belched out of the fire pit as the gas is turned off. After several tense minutes, EMT's open a side panel and step in, with a stretcher. They come out with Brock under a blanket to prevent shock, and are feeding him oxygen.
MAIN EVENT I QUIT MATCH FOR THE WWE TITLE
TEST VS CHAMPION Y2J CHRISH JERICHO
JR: Well king we have been gearing up to this one. Part of the double main event.
King: I think it’s a good thing too what those two idiots, Cactus and Goto have done so far I don’t know if the will be a ring left for Test and Y2J.
Test is the first one to enter carrying a branding iron and Cast Iron Pot with a fire burring in it. Y2J then come out to a large amount of hateful boos. The fans scream Jericho SUCKS!. He enters the ring and the Two Square off. Test is the first to get the advantage by over powering Y2J and shoving the champ to the ground. Test flexes his muscles but Y2J connects with a low blow as he does. Test hunches over in pain and Y2J runs with a running face slam and Jericho then follows it up with a lion Sault but misses as Test moves out of the way. Test then grabs Jericho in a reverse chin lock.
JR: Well with the muscles of Test that chin lock is something painful.
King: Fans at home may not realize it but that move hurts and your right JR with Test using it, the move is devastating.
The ref asks Y2J if he wants to quit but he grunts no and slowly makes his way to the ropes. The ref then tells test to break it but he does not then the ref counts. 1….2…3….4 Test lets go.
JR: Waiting for the five count Damn it You got know Test wants it But he knows that he cant get DQED either.
Test then begins to lay in the boots to Y2J’s ribs Test then follows it up with an Elbow drop into a cross arm bar.
JR: I tell ya King I think Test has been boning up on his submission wrestling because he as sure been in the driving seat during this match.
The Ref again asks Y2J if he will Quit, but he will not. Y2J then gets his free arm and elbows Test in the head till the hold is broken. Test tries to gain his awareness up but it is too late as the World Champ unleashes a series of boxing style punches to the sternum of Test that winds the big man and sends him to his knees. Y2J then runs of the ropes and drop kicks in the face. Y2J then picks up Test and whips into the Corner and walks over to him and begins to let lose a series of chops but after five of them Test Reverse Jericho shoving him into the corner and unleashed a flurry of punches and kicks. HE then Measures Jericho with a running Elbow.
King: Damn It Test Jericho is not a piece of meet to be tenderized someone stop this.
JR: Would you sit down, god fans you can feel with each minute that passes Test is that much closer to accomplishing his dream of becoming the WWE-FED Champ and finally putting an end to the reign of Y2J.
Jericho stumbles around the ring looking nearly unconscious when Test runs and hits with the Big Boot sending Y2J to the ground.
Jr: If there were pins in this match it would be over, but Test needs to make Jericho say those two little words I Quit.
King: Yeah and the Ayatollah of Rock N’ Rolla would never quit.
Meanwhile Test has decided to go to the out side and grab his Hot Branding Iron. The fans scream in rapture at the thought of seeing Y2J burned,
King: These people are sick damn it, someone get the fire marshal out here Test has become a fire hazard. He gets back in the ring and Sees Jericho trying to support himself in the corner. Test Lunges with the poker only to have Jericho pull his legs up and kicks the hot iron out of Tests hand and it hits Test’s Leg only for a second but the pain seems to last a life time. Test Falls and Y2J picks up the iron and one more time applies it to Test’s leg. He then tosses it to the outside. The ref worrying about the weapon’s presence in the ring goes to the outside to put it away, while Y2J has Put Test in the Walls of Jericho. Test Screams in pain but he manages to get to the ropes but the ref does not see this. Jericho then pulls Test to the middle of the ring and the ref gets back in. Test again makes an effort to get to the rope but it is in vain and Test has no choice but to tap out.
Winner and Still WWE CHAMP Y2J Chris Jericho.
After the Match Y2J limps a beaten man but still holding the world title as he is helped out by WWE officials.
JR: Well it's time for the last battle in our big double main event...I can't beilieve they are going to do this...Mick Foley has a family dammit and he might not walk out of here tonight! For that matter, the same is true for Tarzan Goto
MAIN EVENT DEATHMATCH CHALLENGE: CACTUS JACK VS TARZAN GOTO
THIRD FALL: EXPLODING RING OF DEATH
Roadies begin setting up the ring for the Final Match. Barbed wire is strung between two opposite ringposts and jumper cables are attached, electrifying it. Meanwhile, the remaining posts remain open, the ropes taken down on those sides of the ring. On the floor on the open sides of the ring are wooden planks wired with C4 charges! The boards themselves are littered with tacks, glass and barbed wire. A technical crew is busy wiring the entire ring with C4 explosives while another team places a protective barrier around the ringside area to shiled the audience from a potential blast. the ring explosives are wired to a huge clock which begins at 10 minutes.
JR: This is totally unreal, this should never have been sanctioned.
KING: Shut up Jr, I'm going to enjoy watching these two idiots destroy each other!
Tarzan Goto's music plays and he slowly hobbles to the ring, putting most of his weight on the Interpreter. His eyes determined but his face is lacking colour, a huge bandage wrapped around his head, stained red from the wounds. Cactus Jack comes out second, staggering to the ring,his sleft arm in a sling after the piece of glass was removed. He falls to his knees halfway and crawls to the ring.
The two men finally stand face to face and the bell rings, the clock counting down. They lock up, falling sideways in exhaustion into the electrified barbed wire! There is a loud pop and a flash of sparks and both men fall to the ground, smoking...
After some time has gone by, Goto sits up and pins Cactus...1...2...shoulder up! Goto begins swearing in Japanese and pulls out some of his hair, Mankind style! He then rips the sling off Cactus' shoulder. He applies an armlock while choking Cactus with the sling, but Jack bites into his hand. Goto falls back and Cactus gets up, tackling Goto and sending both of them out of the ring onto one of the C4 boards. It explodes, surrounding the ring in smoke. When the smoke clear, both men are lying face down in the glass and barbed wire. They are out cold for quite a while.
After several moments, Cactus stirs and goes for a pin. 1...2...Goto gets the shoulder up! Cactus is too weak to even curse, but manages to pull himself into the ring. Goto crawls in to the ring and the siren begins to sound, signalling that the ring will explode in 2 minutes! Desperate to end the match, Cactus legdrops Goto and goes for the pin, but the determined Goto somehow kicks out. Cactus is stunned and tries a piledriver, but Tarzan back drops him. Now looking to end the match, Goto splashes Cactus, but he manages to kick out weakly. At the 1 minute mark the sirens get louder. The referee panics and runs away from the ringside area. Both men are envigorated by their desperation and trade punches. They both reel back and the ring explodes! The arena is filled with black smoke and no one can see anything. The ring is now flattened on the floor. The crowd chants "HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT!" When the smoke finally clears, both men are completely motionless. Cactus Jack is on top of Goto. Not knowing what else to do, the referee counts...1...........2.................3!
WINNER: CACTUS JACK
Cactus Jack's music plays as officials help the scarred, burned and bloody winner to his feet, He manages to hold his arm up in triumph, reliving his victory in the King of the Death Match Tournament.