Welcome to Warrior's Words

      Hello my lil' Warriors! How are you all doing? I would like to say a few things to you lil' bast...followers. I am Warrior! I have messed up abs and a funny looking face! I look somewhat like a kitty cat! CAT!!!!!! I, Warrior, am wondering something that requires wondering, yes! I am wondering if you follower's really do worship the ground I walk on, because you know I am a God! I am built like a God and I smile like a God. I do not smile much though because over these past 16 years I went from "greatest man in the world", and "greatest wrestler in the world", to just a pathetic "greatest man in the world". This, you see, does not reach the goal in which I wanted to accomplish. Yes, I am a God, but a mortal God! My wife, she does not like me. Let me tell you a lil' story about that bitch!

       It goes something like this.......

       I was wandering about the house one day, looking for one of my many "Warrior Fitness" tapes. I took a lil' page out of John Basedow's book. That man has an oddly shaped head. As my search continued, I heard the slam of a door. The sound was loud, it hurt my head and I fainted. When I regained conscience I looked up and standing over me was my wife.

       "What you want woman? I am Warrior!!" I said in a manly, husky, can't understand what the fuck I'm saying, voice. "I told you to wash the dishes, take out the trash, and feed the cat" she said in a mean tone that made me almost piss myself in fear.

       I continued to stare at her, and the more I did, the more she ended up looking like a pink fluffy bunny with funny looking ears.

       "Oooo...A bunny" I shouted.

       "What the fuck are you talking about Jim?" She asked

       "ARGH!!! My name is WARRIOR-AH!! Not Jim Hellwig! Do you not remember evil lady, I got it legally changed to fit my warrior-like personality!" I said.

       "Ugh...Ok, "WARRIOR" get off your ass and do what I told you to do!"

       "You can't treat me this way! I am Warrior! I will gorilla press you!"

       Suddenly the cat came into the room.

       "CAT!!!!!" Said I.

       "Yes, that's our cat "Warrior". Now go feed him before I smash in your skull with a frying pan!" She said.

       "CAT!!!!!!"

       "Oh forget you!"

       She walked out of the room, only to come back seconds later with a frying pan. She looked at me, she grinned. And then "WACK", the bitch hit me right in the face with that silver object. Needless to say I was knocked clear into next week. I woke up in a puddle of my own piss and blood. She must have really kicked my ass when I was out. You see kids, she would have never kicked my ass if I didn't get hit with a pan. For I am Warrior!!

       Do you see now why my wife does not like me? Feel the power!!