| How to leave a diner like a child... Rub your back against the booth to scratch an itch while listening to your parents talk about something that is BORE-ING!!! Think about how incredibly boring your parents conversation is...Covering your face with your hands, pull alll your features downward so that all your features resemble a basset hound, and look around, freak out the couple in the booth behind you. Wish that the baby crying at the next table would shut up. think that if the baby was your own, you would stuff a napkin in its mouth and shove it in one of those little to-go boxes. Ask to go to the bathroom. Take the long way, cruising past the jukebox, wonder why there aren't any Brittany Spears on there, check out other diners, look at them innocently. As soon as you arrive to the bathroom, pump the non-bacterial soap into a pile on the sink until it resembles a pile of blue dog poop. Turn on all the faucets. Shut them off. Look in the mirror, flip your head back to rearrange your hair, smile because you are such a pretty/handsome young thing, spin around, smile again... Think to yourself that the bathroom stinks. Hold your breath. When you cannot hold your breath any longer, start breathing through your mouth, not your nose...Observe the Kotex/Condom machine but do not touch it, they are for grown ups... Go into each bathroom stall, lock the door, crawl underneath to the next stall. Repeat. Leave the bathroom very fast. |