Title: 'Certain Things'
Author: Anna Rousseau 
Fandom: The West Wing
Genre: General/Drama
Category: JL/SS/CJC/CY/MOB
Rating: U
Set: 'Mr Willis Of Ohio'
Spoilers: Up to 'In The Shadow Of Two Gunmen II'
Last Episode Seen: 'The Midterms'
Archive: Please, just tell me where.

Summary: On that night out at a Georgetown bar, Zoey recalls the 
things she knows about her present company...but there are still 
things she doesn't know about them.

Disclaimer: No, I know that I don't own them, but it's nice to think 
that I do sometimes.

Notes: Useless bits of trivia supplied by JedBartlet.com...what would 
I do without it?


'CERTAIN THINGS'
================

There were certain things that Zoey Bartlet knew about the five 
people sitting around the table in The Georgetowne Station. Certain 
professional things like where they went to college, how many degrees 
they had, what there latest triumph had been. There were certain 
personal things she knew about them, also. About their families, 
their friends, their annoying habits.

She knew more about some than others. She had known four of these 
people for a very long time, and one she had only just met recently. 
There were certain things she knew about these people that could make 
or break them if she opened her mouth. And, then again, there were 
certain things that she would never know about these people because 
they were things that had never been told.

Zoey had heard these things from word-of-mouth; she had seen these 
things with her very own eyes. These certain things were what made the 
people near her even closer to her heart.

There was Josh Lyman. He was less of a Deputy Chief of Staff to her 
father and more of an older brother to Zoey. She knew certain things 
about Josh. 
She knew that whenever he saw her, Josh gave her a massive, warm, 
brotherly hug and a peck on the cheek. 
She knew Josh had entered the room just by hearing his shoes on the 
floor, beating out that confident strut. 
She knew that Josh always ordered burnt burgers when he was 
campaigning in Manchester, and still does according to Donna. 
She knew that Josh had got used to suits after wearing plaid shirts 
and slacks during the Primaries. 
She knew he sometimes flirted with the co-eds when he went out for 
drinks in these bars.
She knew he had a delicate system.
She knew about Josh's ex-girlfriends, and the prospective ones, 
and she disapproved of what Donna called his 'romantic strategy' 
of randomly bumping into women and then hoping they'll break up with 
him.
She knew that she hated Mandy Hampton, even back in New Hampshire.
She knew that Josh was Fulbright scholar, had been to Harvard and 
Yale, but sometimes he was surprisingly stupid and put his foot in 
his mouth better than anyone Zoey knew.
She knew that he used to work for Hoynes, but he believed in her 
father so much he had joined the Bartlet campaign only weeks before 
the Primaries.
She knew that Josh was like a son to Leo McGarry, more than just his 
deputy, though Josh would never really know that. 
She knew that under all that bravado and the political facade, Josh 
was as vulnerable as all of them. 
She knew that he believed her father was the real thing. 
Zoey knew other things too, little trivial things, how he dragged out 
an 'okay' into something far more profound, how he and Donna walked 
down the halls of the West Wing with a synchronisation only known to 
ice-dancers, how he looked after he was drunk and how he looked when 
he was happy. 
Little trivial things that no-one paid attention to but her.
Little trivial things that made Josh just Josh. Certain things that 
were unique to him.

Then there was Sam Seaborn. Josh's alter-ego, best friend... and 
something more than that. He was her older brother's friend. Someone
 you could talk to about things, and not be judged. He knew things 
about Zoey and she knew certain things about Sam.
She knew that his welcoming hugs were more restrained than Josh's, 
yet just as warm.
She knew that he could recite the Members of Congress off by heart, 
but he doesn't know a thing about the White House, ironically.
She knew he had been a Congressional Aide, that he'd been to Duke and 
Princeton, that he'd worked at Dewey-Ballantine and nearly made 
partner at Gage Whitney Pace.
She knew he had given up everything to help her father win the 
presidency.
She knew he was neat and his suits were always crease-free. Sam lived 
in suits, and during the campaign he would sometimes forget he wasn't 
a lawyer anymore: it took him a while to kick the habit.
She knew that he had 'accidentally' slept with a prostitute, a call 
girl rather, and now she was sworn to secrecy.
She knew that it could have well been accidentally because he was the 
clumsiest person she had ever met; he could trip over his own feet if 
he wasn't being careful.
She knew he was from Southern California and he longed for the sun and 
the sea.
She knew that he sometimes smoked cigars during card games and 
celebrations, but he had never been a smoker because he was far too 
health-conscious.
She knew that he and Josh had been best friends for years, and there 
really wasn't anything that they wouldn't do for each other.
She knew he felt very strongly about dental hygiene, and had once 
taken her to an orthodontist's appointment rather than let her skip 
it because her parents were too busy.
She knew that he liked sailing, but now he never had enough time to 
get away and do it.
Zoey knew Sam's quirks and his mannerisms. The way he spoke through 
clipped syllables. How he sometimes could say 'okay' and it was more 
of a sound than a word, the exact opposite to Josh's lengthy 'okays', 
as if they were so in tune that they compensated for one another. How 
he only very rarely raised his voice and how she'd never heard him 
shout. The way he walked around the White House, appearing to be 
confident but looking very much overwhelmed by his surroundings. She 
knew the way he smiled, the way he looked sheepish and the way he 
sometimes dug himself holes that Josh would be proud of. 
The little quirks and mannerisms that made him Sam.

And there was the Press Secretary. Claudia Jean Cregg, but just CJ to 
anyone who wasn't her father. She was the life of the party and the 
spirit of the West Wing. The voice of the Bartlet administration and 
the woman with one of the hardest jobs in the White House. CJ was a
 role model, and though Zoey didn't want to think of herself slipping 
into clichés, CJ was an aunt. The one who joked with you about men, 
the one who would sit down with you and talk you through problems when 
your mother was off being the First Lady, the one you could always 
rely on for an honest opinion. Out of her father's Senior Staff, CJ 
was the one that knew the most about Zoey, and of course, Zoey knew 
her fair share about CJ.
She knew that she always had an hour that was 'her time' in the 
morning, an hour where she could work out and try to pick up guys.
She knew that she never got flustered in the Press Room and could 
handle White House journalists so smoothly they didn't know that she 
was doing it.
She knew that CJ liked the little cheese crackers, the ones in the 
shape of goldfish and she was partial to beer. But on some nights, 
like tonight, she would order a Grasshopper and get grief for it.
She knew that now Sam was calling her CJ 'First Call' Cregg, and had 
been since one lunchtime about four weeks ago.
She knew the light that shone in CJ's eyes every time she had an 
opportunity to make fun of Josh, Sam or Toby.
She knew that CJ thought her neck was too large, and she knew that 
CJ had once been pushed into a swimming pool by Roberto Benigni in 
Malibu.
She knew that the fine equilibrium of banter and information that CJ 
kept in the Press Room was something that none of the other Senior 
Staffers could do.
She knew that CJ hated being left out of the loop.
She knew that CJ could lip-synch to 'The Jackal' in a way which 
capitivated her audience.
She knew that sometimes CJ felt out of place, because she was really 
not a political advisor, she was just the one who kept on message and 
gave the White House an amiable face to present to the American 
people.
She knew that even though it wasn't part of her job description, CJ 
did just as much advising as Josh, Sam or Toby.
Zoey knew and loved the way CJ talked to her father with a tone which 
was quietly respectful yet would not take any b.s. even though he was 
'the leader of the free world'. She loved the way CJ walked down the 
halls of the West Wing with her long-legged strides, knowing that 
Toby was struggling to keep up with her. She loved the way she never 
put a step wrong with the Press Corps, and how she would make them 
feel valued. 
Zoey loved CJ because she was CJ and because no-one else was quite as 
good as being CJ than CJ herself.

Then opposite Zoey was the person who was like a cousin to her. Well 
if Zoey was going to keep thinking of the Senior Staff as various 
family members, then Leo was her uncle. That made Mallory her cousin. 
She had known Mallory for years, for as long as she had known the 
Chief of Staff, since Leo had been 'Mr. McGarry' and before he had 
been 'Mr. Secretary'. Mallory and she had spent long nights on the 
porch of the Bartlet farm in New Hampshire, talking about music and 
TV programmes and what sort of things they wanted at their weddings. 
Of course, they knew certain things about one another, too.
She knew that Mallory had thick, rich browny-red hair that looked 
like New England in the fall, hair that she was still envious of when 
she looked at her mousy coloured bob in the mirror.
She knew Mallory taught at Clearwater Elementary School, and she loved 
it more than anything in the world.
She knew that she wanted about eight children when she got married, 
enough so they could play five-a-side soccer at the weekends.
She knew that Mallory loved classical music and her favourite composer 
was Chopin.
She knew that Mallory had wanted to be a professional pianist when she 
was eighteen, but she had gone to college instead, because she wanted 
to teach more than anything else.
She knew that she loved her father as an uncle, and even though he 
was the President, she wouldn't let him pull rank on her, because to 
Mallory he was still Uncle Jed.
She knew that when she was eight and Mallory was eighteen, she had run 
away from home and turned up on the Bartlet's doorstep, pleading with 
Zoey's parents to get her father some help.
She knew that night, when Mallory had slept in the spare room with the 
Bartlet's, she had cried herself to sleep.
She knew, even though Leo had put Mallory through so much pain, she 
still loved him more than anything in the world.
Zoey knew Mallory's hopes and dreams, and Mallory knew Zoey's. Zoey 
knew Mallory's 'talk to the hand' looks which she flung at her father 
when he started a lecture, and Zoey knew the amused expression Mallory 
put on her face when Zoey's own father started to give history 
lessons. She knew how Mallory's eyes sparkled when she was with people 
she liked, the look she had now when she and Sam are talking about the 
Roosevelt Room and something to do with cement. Zoey knew what Mallory 
did when she was flirting, and she was doing it right now.

With a small smile, Zoey glanced at Charlie Young. The things she knew 
about him were things judged on his appearance and things she had 
overheard from various staffers in the West Wing.
She knew that Charlie was quite young, but he had a sister at home 
that he had to look after like a daughter.
She knew he feared her father because he was the President, and that 
made her laugh.
She knew that he was dedicated and presentable.
She knew she loved the way he smiled and called her 'ma'am' when he 
was nervous, and she loved that he was nervous around her.
She knew that she wanted to get to know Charlie as well as the other 
four people around the table. She wanted to know him, not like a 
brother, or a friend's brother, or a cousin or an aunt. Zoey wanted 
to know him like something more than that. She wanted to learn his 
smile and the way he walked and his little mannerisms that made him 
Charlie.

Though there are certain things she knows, there are more things she 
will come to know and even more things that she will never know.

Later tonight she'll see how Charlie showed concern for her, and how 
Sam and Josh would leap in to defend her like she was their little 
sister. Because that's what friends do.

In a few weeks she come to know Charlie, she'll buy CJ an ornament for 
her new fish's bowl, she'll admire the shoes Sam got shined especially 
for Mallory, admonish her father for helping Leo stick a wedge between 
his daughter and the Deputy Communications Director, and she'll refuse 
to take sides in an argument between Donna and Josh. 

A few months after that she'll become increasingly concerned about 
white supremacists and rouge journalists. She'll get used to having a 
Secret Service Agent living in the room across from her in the college 
dorm. She'll hear what Josh told the majority leader on the phone and 
her mother will tell her about Mallory's 'itch' for Sam. She'll fall 
out with Charlie but then reconcile after videos and ice-cream. She'll 
wince at Josh's press briefing and sympathise with CJ about her dental 
problems.

Then in the summer she'll visit Josh in hospital but never know the 
pain he's in or how often Sam and Donna come to the hospital and just 
sit with him even when he's sleeping.

Zoey will hear about Mallory kissing Sam for a statement that 
protected her father, and maybe she'll even know about their one 
dinner date. But she'll never know how they fell in love after that 
one kiss but never told each other, drifting apart after a photograph 
was published, both of them too proud to pick up the phone. She'll 
never know how Mallory and Sam will lie awake at night for months 
afterwards, wishing that the other lay next to them in bed.

She'll never know about Sam and CJ, about how though CJ says that him 
saving her life wasn't a big deal, she still thinks of him as her 
guardian angel that night at the Newseum. She'll never know how Sam 
regards CJ with the same respect as the President and how CJ thinks 
of Josh and Sam as more than colleagues.

She might come to know that Josh and Donna's relationship goes past 
the professional, but it's unlikely that she'll ever know how much 
they care for each other. They can't even admit that to themselves.

She, like everyone, will continue to presume that the bottle that 
accompanies Sam wherever he goes is filled to the brim with vitamin 
supplements, as he will never tell them about the bouts of depression 
he suffers from. His problems are always so much smaller than everyone 
else's, and honestly, who would believe he was ever anything other 
than happy. The Senior Staff will just presume Sam is 
health-conscious, and he religiously takes his vitamins. So Sam will 
continue popping the pills out of their foil packets so they don't 
look so much like medication, he will continue to take them casually 
at lunch meetings, he will continue to put the Presidency first. But 
one day, Sam will have to tell someone, or they will find out in a 
more tragic way.

She will continue to learn more about Charlie, every day regretting 
she was the President's daughter. 

She will continue to receive brotherly hugs from Josh and never know 
that it causes him flashes of pain across his chest, because he 
doesn't complain. And, of course, Zoey will never know that Josh 
loves her so much because she is the sister that he lost.

She will continue to see Mallory in Leo's office but never know that 
she is secretly hoping that one day she'll be bumped into by Sam and 
they could laugh about his clumsiness.

She will continue to stop by CJ's office to feed Gail and never 
notice that CJ's favourite necklace, the broken one, is always laying 
on her desk. Just sitting there as a reminder, next to a photo of the 
Senior Staff at the chilli dinner Zoey had helped cook the previous 
year.

But now, Zoey is just sitting there at the table, listening to Josh 
tell Charlie to relax, and smiling as Mallory kicks Sam under the 
table for thinking that the Roosevelt Room was named after FDR.

They will continue knowing certain things and not knowing certain t
hings, each day becoming more familiar and attached to one another, 
never once imagining that in nine months time things will be so much 
different than they are now.

***
THE END
***

Feedback, as always is devoured! All e-mails to 
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