Title: Donna's Big, Unwrapped, Microwave Oven Box by Bramble Rating: PG-13 *gasp* something I can post to the J/D list! Summary: It's Donna's birthday -- guess what Josh gets her? Date: 10/05/01 Spoilers: Uses a thing from I & I but doesn't take place in that AU -- it belongs somewhere in Season 2, I think. Disclaimers: Aaron Sorkin still owns them all. Notes: I'm very excited to do a post-ep, even if it isn't really. :) It's silly, it's sweet, I dunno -- it just kinda popped into my head Kim is a beta goddess. "What is it?" "Just open it." She looks at the box and lifts it from his desk, trying to shake it a little, but it's to heavy for her to do more than set it down quickly on the floor and just sort of slide it around a bit. "Donna! Don't play with it -- open it." She continues to eye it suspiciously before asking, "Josh, why didn't you wrap it?" "That's it. You can't have it anymore," he goes to pull it away from her. "No! I want my big, unwrapped, microwave oven box! I'm just inquiring why you didn't wrap it with, you know, festive birthday wrapping paper?" "Because I'm a guy." "Hey Donna!" They look up to see Sam standing in the doorway. "Head's up." He tosses a small wrapped box which Donna catches easily. The paper has red and blue balloons on it with the words "Happy Birthday" in a fancy yellow script. It's the glossy, shiny wrapping paper that's generally more expensive than the regular paper. She examines her present and then glances up to give Josh a look. He just shrugs and glares over at Sam. "What?" "Nothing," Josh says, then leaning in towards Donna he whispers, "I still stand by my previous statement. She laughs briefly before turning back to Sam. "Can I open it?" "Of course." She pulls the red bow off and leans over to stick it on Josh's head. "Hey!" "It's festive," she answers with a smirk, quickly ripping the rest of the paper off. When she gets it open, she pulls out a necklace with a small piece of turquoise hanging from it. "Oh, Sam. I love it." "I remember when we went to the mall last month, you liked it." "I did. I do," she gets up, beaming. "Thank you." Josh watches as Donna gives Sam a hug and a kiss on the cheek, then looks down at the floor at his stupid box. He suddenly wishes he got her flowers or a necklace -- something normal. But, this had seemed like such a good idea and though he'd never admit it, he had a lot of fun planning and picking out what to put in her box. "Well, happy birthday," Sam adds, pulling away from the hug, clearly pleased with how well his gift went over. Bastard, Josh thinks irrationally. "Hey, did you get a microwave for your office, Josh?" "No. It's just the box." "It's my birthday present from Josh," Donna elaborates. "In an unwrapped, microwave oven box?" "He's a guy." "It's too bad it's not an actual microwave," Sam continues. "Because now, I have to walk down to the other side of the hall to heat stuff up, if I just had to come down here..." "Okay, okay. I've had it! It's not an actual appliance and I didn't wrap the damn box, okay? It's just a stupid box." "Oh, Samuel, do you have the...hey, who got a microwave?" CJ asks, stepping into Josh's office as he smacks his hand against his forehead, groaning while Donna starts to giggle. "No, it's just the box," Donna repeats, as they all look down at it. "Did you need me?" Sam turns his attention to CJ. "Yeah, actually, I did. So, Josh, why do you have an empty microwave box in the middle of your office?" "It's mine and it's not empty," Donna clarifies. "Too bad you don't actually have a microwave in there. That's such a good idea, because they have those little soups that you can just add water and heat up and..." Sam starts to nod excitedly, opening his mouth to answer when Josh finally loses it. "Okay, everyone except the birthday girl, get the hell out of my office," he yells, interrupting the microwaveable-snacks discussion. "Problem?" CJ asks, glancing from Josh to Donna to Sam. "He's upset that we're making fun of Donna's present," Sam explains. "That's her birthday present? You got her an empty microwave box? way to go there, pal o'mine..." She trails off, while Josh runs his hand through his hair and accidently pulls the bow, which in turn pulls few strands of his hair out. "Ow! Oh. That's just great," he mutters eyeing the hair stuck to the back of the bow with visible iritation. "I kinda needed those." "Actually, there's something in it, we just don't know what it is yet," Sam continues, getting CJ up to speed on the box situation. She smiles, looks at Josh and shakes her head briefly. "Well, Donna, you can tell me all about it at lunch. We're still going for your birthday, right?" "Of course. I'm looking forward to it." "Great. Okay, Sparky," she turns to Sam, leading him out. "I need you to talk to me about that speech to the DAR..." * * * "Josh." "It's stupid. Just...never mind." "No. You got me something and I want to know what it is -- my big microwave oven box without the microwave," she teases. "Donna! I just, I needed a box and I had that empty one and..." "Shhh, it's okay. It's just..." She sits in one of his guest chairs and looks down at her present, then back at him, trying not to laugh at his flustered demeanor. "You're very touchy about my box, Joshua," she comments wryly. Josh starts to smirk and opens his mouth to say something but she stops him. "Okay, part of my present can be you not replying to what I just said," she requests, giving him a shy smile. They both grin at each other for a few seconds. "So, are you going to look inside your box?" He asks anxiously, sitting down next to her in the other guest chair. She figures if she drags this out any longer he'll start bouncing up and down with excitement. "Yes," she says with a nod and slowly leans down to pull the flaps up. "Wait. Is there a card?" He sighs. "Damn it." "It's okay," she pats his knee. "I've got my unwrapped microwave birthday box." "You know, we could move on from that little joke anytime here." She looks down again and pulls out the first thing she grabs. "It's a flash light," she says in a light, happy tone. "Yeah, it's a really nice one, you have high, medium, and low power. I put batteries in it for you and there are some more..." he reaches down but she slaps his hand away before he can pull the extra batteries out. "Josh, you can't just reach out and grab a girl's box like that," Donna chides, raising her eyebrow at him. He can't help but laugh at her comment and sits back, making a motion with his hand for her to continue. She pulls out the batteries and lays them on his desk next to the flashlight, giving him a little look as she does so, dragging it out as long as she can. "Donna! Today!" He exclaims, with a little, impatient bounce in his chair. "I have water," she comments with a nod down. "Five gallons," Josh confirms proudly. "And..." she pulls out the next item out. "A radio." "Transistor with more batteries for that too." "No DiscMan?" She asks, poking back into the box, pretending to be disappointed. "Donna, you need something to get information on, not listen to Duran Duran." "I don't like Duran Duran, that's Sam." "Oh yeah." "I'd still like a DiscMan, though," she muses. "Maybe for Christmas." "Really?" "Oh, definitely," he answers sarcastically, observing as she digs back down further into her box. "I have a first aid kit and candles," she pulls them out and examines them more closely. "Ohhhhhh, they're smelly candles!" "Yeah, I thought..." "Josh, you bought me..." she looks down and reads the candle descriptions, "lovely lilac, vanilla vixen and cappuccino creation." "Yeah," he confirms, starting to get a little flustered. "I, ah..." "Oh, Josh, that's just...that's so sweet. You wanted to get the plain, boring, sensible emergency candles but you saw these and even though it goes against everything you stand for, you bought me girly, scented candles because you thought I would like them more," she says turning to him, her eyes getting a bit watery. "Actually," he points to the candles in her hand, trying to cover up his thoughtfulness, "those were on sale." She rolls her eyes and looks back down while Josh watches her intently, a big smile plastered on his face. "What's ..." she pulls out a smaller box. "Ho-ho's?" "You like ho-ho's." Her brow wrinkles a bit as she looks a him. "How do you know?" "During the campaign, you wanted to stop at the Hostess factory, you said you liked ho-ho's but not twinkies. You went on and on about ho-ho's until Toby yelled at you." "Twinkie's are gross, Josh," she agrees, looking down at the chocolatey snacks with an expression that makes him think she's going to cry soon. She remembers how he went to the back of the bus and yelled at Toby for yelling at her that day. She had still been a bit intimidated by everyone and Josh had watched her face fall as Toby gruffly told her to "Stop yapping about damn ho-ho's, we're actually trying to get someone elected here!" with such an expression of concern. Donna has quickly turned away and stared out the window trying not to cry, while Josh strode back there, a few seconds later she listened to a muffled exchange of heated words between him and Toby. Later that day, Toby had apologized awkwardly and handed her a package of ding-dong's that she figures he bought from the Safeway during their last rest-stop. Josh had eaten one of them later that afternoon, and then tried to blame it on Sam. Besides starting a tradition of mutual food-stealing, she recalls wanting to hug him later that night, as he implored her to 'hang in there'. As she looks over at him now, she knows she wants to hug him. "They last forever, plus you can eat them anywhere without any preparation," he adds, running his finger along the package. He stops when he reaches her hand and gives her a little squeeze. "There's also some granola bars and banana chips. You know, if you needed something healthier to snack on." "Oh, right. Because I can't really heat anything up, you know, with my microwave *box*," Donna jokes lightly, squeezing back. He gives an exaggerated sigh and tries to throw Donna a contrived, pained expression -- even though his obvious amusement shows through. "There's more in there. Remember the moving on?" She smiles at him. "Right. Moving right along..." "An Innocent Mistress: Four Brides for Four Brothers, Enchanted by Your Kisses, and The Pleasure Master." She looks down at the books in her lap, trying not to giggle. "Josh, you got me smutty, romance novels?" "Ah, yeah. See, I wasn't sure what..." "Okay. Let me get this straight, there's some disaster and I'm supposed to read The Pleasure Master?" "Well, say there's a storm and you're trapped in your car or something. It might get boring." "So, I can read The Pleasure Master?" "Donna, unless you're referring to me, please stop saying the pleasure master in my office." "You know what that sounds like? A dirty version of the thigh master -- like it's some sort of x-rated exercise thing," she answers back, ignoring his comment. She raises an eyebrow at him and observes what she thinks is a slight blush to his cheeks, as he takes the books from her and quickly puts them up on his desk next to her flashlight and ho-ho's. "I also got you, ah, some Shakespeare, some crosswords, and a Tom Clancy book -- in case you aren't in the mood, for, ah..." "Pleasure?" She finishes for him. "Move on," he orders good-naturedly. "Moving on..." The last thing she pulls out is the first item she recognized, as soon as she opened the box. "That's..." "I know what this is, Josh," she comments, unfolding the worn, red and black plaid blanket. The one she always finds tucked around her if she falls asleep on his couch -- the one she slept with all last summer. "I thought you should have something warm in your box," he pauses for a beat. "Shut up." "It's like your hat," she mentions, ignoring his double entendre. "What?" "Your hat. It's something functional but it also has fond memories attached to it." "Yeah," he agrees simply, for some reason not feeling like ruining the moment with a smart-ass comment. * * * After they get everything put back in the box, they push it over against the wall so it's out of the way. They both know he'll most likely trip over it at some point during the day if they don't. Josh stands awkwardly trying to figure out how best to get back to work and act professional when Donna comes over and envelopes him in a big hug, making him smile. He was kind of hoping he'd get a hug. "Donna...don't...don't get all emotional. It's just...it's a box. For, you know, emergencies," he says, wrapping his arms around her tighter, secretly delighted she's getting a little choked up. "Thank you," she whispers and pulls back, but not before setting her lips down lightly on his jaw. He considers this and contrasts it to the kiss Sam got. She gave Sam a quick peck on the cheek, whereas on him, her lips are closer to his and they're just tantalizingly resting there against his skin. "Really, it's...I was teasing before but I kind of thought that's what you had done. It's so sweet that you did this -- it means so much. You made me an emergency box, Josh." "It's for snow storms, natural disasters, or any other disasters. Even if your car breaks down or something. I, I worry about you," he says quietly. "I mean, it's a given that you can always share my box with me but what if...I mean...I want you to have your own box too." "And you can always share mine, you know, if you can't get to yours. Or, ah, maybe we could put our boxes together and make a really big box," Donna suggests, never taking her eyes from his. They spend a few seconds smiling at one another, each a little unsure why that idea is so comforting. "Okay, but we're not using the girly candles," he says finally. "Just the manly flashlight to read the smutty books with," she agrees, laughing. "You'll read smutty books to me?" "Josh, if something happens and we need our boxes, I'll do more than read smutty books to you." "Ahh-kay," he grins back at her before continuing. "I can help you take it out to your car after work." "And then take me out for a birthday dinner?" "Or we could just stay here and eat your ho-ho's," he suggests with a small smirk. "I'm leaving now," she throws out over her shoulder. "Think about where you want me to take you after work," he yells after her, making a mental note to go get Donna a birthday card before dinner. * * * The End. Feedback is better than birthdays!
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