Misery's Smile
K. Wyse
She could feel her heart breaking. Shatter, fragment, fall apart in
pieces. If only she could fall apart too and scatter to the winds, ashes
of a former self blown away into oblivion. If only she could lie down on
the ground, collapse, and die; body curled up like a stillborn foetus.
If only a thousand eyes didn’t watch her, she would scream out all the
turmoil within her fragile, porcelain figure. How she longed to punch
that concrete wall, and watch rivulets of blood pitter patter on the
ground like so much rain on a winter’s day. If only ...
And it was so stupid. So stupid to feel so deeply a pain, all for a boy
who didn’t even know she was a mere three strides away; who didn’t know
the way she made the effort to know him – really know him, unlike the
other girls around.
And it broke her heart that the few little chats they shared had meant
as little to him as dandruff on the pavement. How she had really felt
him open up to her – only, it meant nothing. Oh, it hurt. And god! She
felt so insignificant.
Stupid, stupid! What had ever made her think that an “Ice King” like him
would ever change for her?
... because I’m different ...
... because he’s not like everyone else ...
... because we’re two of a kind ...
He used to walk around the halls with eyes as cold as frostbite. The
green in them should have held sparks of life like the newly grown
leaves stretching towards the golden sun. Instead they were so finely
chiseled in his beautifully androgynous face, like marble and crystal
fire. And the only expression that showed was a dead smile, a haughty
smirk that lacked emotion of any kind.
But when they had talked! The smirk was no longer there. There was no
deadness to him, but a subtle power, almost overwhelming in its passion,
but so firmly contained. And when they talked, he dared to smile a
little. Just a little. A shy bud, trying to bloom. But so awkward in its
process.
Unlike the smile he now wore. The beautiful smile that lit up his entire
face as he animatedly talked to the taller boy with the gorgeous silver
hair. The same smile that she used to wear when she saw him coming
closer, his copper-gold tresses swaying to a silent tune.
... two of a kind? ...
... the only thing you two ever shared was misery ...
... if that’s all you shared, Ami, how can he smile at you like that? ...
If only the ground would swallow her up now.
Because it just hurt too damn much.
~fin
A.N. This little drabble was written for Challenge #16 & #18, at the
LiveJournal community: ShitennouAi, which you can visit to see the
challenge details. Criticisms and comments are welcome.
Zoisite's characterisation needs explaining. Will one day (maybe) extend
this drabble to fully shed light on his incarnation here.
(
geocities.com/wyse_k)