Title: Confession
Author: K. Wyse
Monthly Theme: Villains (March)
Daily Theme: Sin (Day 22)
Genre: General/Comedy
Version: Manga/Anime
Rating: G
Confession
by K. Wyse
"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned."
"Confess and repent, and you shall be forgiven."
"I have tried to destroy a human life today."
Silence. He could almost imagine the priest raise an enquiring eyebrow.
Resolving his determination, he plowed on.
"She was lovely. All fire and righteous indignation."
"So why did you try to destroy her?"
"I had orders."
"Those who do not accept responsibility for their actions, will forever
suffer for them."
A sigh from the priest as a comfortable speechlessness fell upon both
occupants of the antique confession booth. Neither knew what to say, nor
what to add to the dying vein of conversation. After a while, the priest
began again.
"Jadeite, you really need to come up with new confessions."
"What do you mean?"
"Every time you come in here, it's always the same sin you confess."
"That's not true! Last time my confession involved repenting for
destroying several souls! Since I'm only repenting for one this time, I
think I'm improving."
"Why can't you confess something interesting? Like getting it on with
one of the hot youmas around the place, or rifling through Beryl's
underwear drawer?"
"I thought Beryl didn't wear underwear? And besides, that's Zoisite's
kind of kink. You know how much he likes women's wear."
"That's not the point. The point is that I have to sit in this stupid
cubicle for a good five hours every day before they let me out to do my
job. Y'know the whole gathering energy and taking over the world thing.
You could at least make this chore easier for me to bear and bring some
juicy dish-up or something. But no ... the same confession everytime."
"Look Nephrite, quit your whining, you're beginning to sound like Sailor
Moon and that's never a good thing. The only reason you got the stinky
job was cause you boasted that you were the most spiritual with all your
star-reading shit. Besides, the fact that star-viewing is mostly a
night-time occurrence, it frees you up considerably during the day for
whatever else Beryl wants with you. So suck it up big boy."
"Look I get the fact that I'm so much more superior to all of you, but
what the hell was Beryl thinking when she decided I could pass for a
Catholic priest? Feck that, what was she thinking with this whole
confession thing?"
"Youma morale? Spiritual enlightenment? Dr. Phil?"
"Oh dear god, she hasn't been watching Oprah, has she?"
"Dude, Beryl worships the big O. I mean, the woman is black, was raped
at a young age, and managed to rise above it all to become one of the
richest women in the world, who could topple presidents if she chose.
And then we have Beryl, who was a maidservant back in the good old days
with a major thing for the Prince, who was completely out of her league.
Now she's a frickin' Queen and has the power of Metallia to command. Of
course she's gonna feel sisterhood with Oprah."
Nephrite groaned. "Oh man, I can't stand being in here for another
minute. All this feel good stuff is giving me a rash."
"Isn't it about time for your lunchbreak? Wanna go grab some nachos?"
"Do I ever?! You're a saviour dude. Let me just wrap things up here."
"Go ahead."
"Do you seek forgiveness my son?"
"Yes father."
"Your sins are forgiven because the Lord Jesus died for you on the
cross. In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, Amen.
Go in peace my son."
~fin
A.N. OMGOMG, I think I need to wash out my eyes for comparing Beryl and
Oprah. Forgive me Father, for I have sinned! (for writing blasphemously
as well.)
-Wyse
(
geocities.com/wyse_k)