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Where to start hummmmm........Well from the time I was 3 to 4 I can remember good times and bad. My dad my mom my bother my family. But I guess my life starts at the time of my father getting killed in a car wreck. He got killed when I was 5 years old. After that things were different I would grow up without a father and without really knowing him. Which now I have learned to live with. Anyway from 5 on up was really for me just people dieing that I loved my great grand mother, both my grand mothers. I have had to deal with alot of death in my family. But I have had happy times aswell growing up. Me and my brother Mark use to have alot of fun when we were kids playing star wars, planet of the apes and GI Joe. We use to go down on the creek near where I live and wade the creek and play guns and stuff, we both knowed that creek like the back of our hand. I miss those days sometimes.
All my life though I have felt shut out but I'm not really I guess its my on doing if I am. Growing up with out a father was not easy my mom depenned on me and my brother alot. But over the years my brother fell more into the roll on a father figure for me and mom. My mom would ask his advice on things and so would I. Its seems we all three fell into a roll over the years. Mine was I felt just shut out of everything and but I don't blame anyone though it was my fault as much as it was my mom and brothers. But I got to the point where I didn't care about no one but my self. This was around the time I was starting high school. But all school was just hell for me I hated it. I had a few good friends in school though but most of them moved away which didn't help me feeling shut out. Well anyway, high school well I really hit the ground running. My first year I was wild as hell and almost out of control little did my family know. Skiping school and partying down I want go into alot of detale here but I done alot of things dearing that time I'm not to proud of. I was getting ready to completely lose it until a good friend of mine lost it first I seen what happened to him and I just stopped one day and I said my god what am I doing. So over the next few years I slowed down. But my friend did not it got to the point where I didn't even know who he was anymore, I tryed to help him but there was no use. So I went on with school for the next few years hateing it more and more as I have always. I finally just quit because I didn't have enough cedits anyway. Most of my friends had quit or were going to. Quiting school I don't regret at all. I've learned more talking to people, watching movies, thinking and just living life then I ever did in school. So I was about 18 or so when I quit and I spent the next 5 years, doing alot of thinking about my life and doing odd jobs around the house and for other people. I wouldn't trade those years for nothing, cause I done alot of changeing in those years. I thought alot about when I was in school, I was selfish, arrogant and I let my ego rule most of my life then, whatever was best for Jody is what I done to hell with everyone else. I become the good person I wanted to be but it was not easy and it took alot of time. Over the next year or so I began looking back on my family and how we had grown codependant on each other I didn't know how to stop the codependantance, so I just when with the flow of things just like always. Until about 2 years ago when my brother told us he was gay. I was shocked to hear that one thats for sure. But I came to deal with it, growing up in a hick town you hear everything about gay people, but they are people just like everyone else. We all live, die,and love just the same. I think it surpized my brother about how I accepted him being gay. I don't think he believed me at first. But there is one thing about me that most people don't understand which seems strange to me, but I will stand up for my family and friends no matter what to the very last. Standing up for my family and friends often gets my feelings hurt but I will always do so, because its simplely who I am.Well after my brother told me and mom that, we all started growing some and getting away from being so codependant of each other which is very very hard to get out of.