At the end of daylight on Christian eve
Of the day of Our Lord’s Resurrection,
I sat to relax after Passover
Down below my house in the basement low
Where pipes grown and hum ever softly and
Nothing but Halogens illuminate.
I turn’d on the info box with screen glow
Filling my eyes with radiation full
Like the op’ning of the chest in Tut’s Tomb.
Humming of a steam golem resounds to left
Of my self sitting in front the device
With which we contact each and other or
Store our lives and other worthless records.
On late hour after writing my life down
For the world to see on journal on screen
The screen flash’d like lightening of Zeus or
Thor, enough to cause a fit or spas’m.
“BOOM! BOOM!” struck the circuits, and beholding
Before me was a strange site: a reflect
Image of myself, yet not myself: diff’ring
From the myself as a separate self,
A self not of but of myself and not
An opposite, demonic, hellish self
But yet of my self, not my self at all.
This new self not-of-yet-of-myself spoke,
And said, “You’re a bit confus’d are you not?
Well I am not here to make small talk or
Go on some identity crisis trip.
Now listen closely to what I to say
For I am your opposite, your anti
Your not, your absence, your vacuum within;
And in that I am here for chit-chat and
Also for bus’ness, I am here for argum’nt.
Listen to me for I demand it and
I have no reason for my presence nor
Do I have a reason for my demands
But you will listen for I command it.
My beliefs I will state and I know them
As true as my self, I know them to be false
But I believe them for I cannot be
Accepting of these beliefs. I am a
Nihilist, I am an atheist, I am a humanist.
I reject and yet accept. I derive
From mere impulse while I belief nothing.
Belief is nothing, nothing is important.”
I look’d into this new self confus’d
But not without comprehension nor fear.
But I brought up strength of mind and faced it.
“So what is it you wish to argue for?”
I ask’d, not knowing what to say for now,
“For I only wish to know what I know.
I do not seek argument nor conflict,
For I only seek truth, and not triumph;
If triumph comes than so be it for good,
But I will speak with you in matters true,
For truth giveth or taketh all purpose,
And the truth can only be decided
By what is, not by wish or desire of
What should be or can be, only fact is true.
One has faith beyond truth known justified,
But one must only differ the two of
These faith and truth but not separate them.
I know you to be in front of me, not-self,
For I know you and have known you for long.
You are my incomprehension and my
Rejection of all I could not know yet
Perceiv’d at one or more time in my searchful life.
There are many truths I do not know, but
I do not lament my rejection of you
For you are what I can never accept
Even if I wish’d to I could not believe
In what disbeliefs you have shown myself.”
With that ended our confrontation lo,
And the not-of-yet-of-myself vanish’d,
As if to say that he had enough for
I had not refut’d him but merely denounced
And I cannot refute non-listeners.
But this is the night of my King’s life,
Which is a day of redemption of love
And not of confrontation with not-selves,
For better to meditate on faith or
Truth, and not argue with an figments of
Such a great imagination within.