Part 17/?
Finally sure that Xander was truly asleep rather than
unconscious, Graham
left the bedroom and headed for the phone in the
living room. He would have
liked to stay and watch Xander sleep and just reassure
himself that the
dark-haired man was breathing and alive, but he needed
to make a phone call
and he wasn?t going to risk waking Xander. He picked
up the phone and
dialed.
//Yes?// Riley picked up immediately on the other
end.
?He woke up,? Graham said, not bothering to hid the
relief in his voice.
?He woke up and he?s going to be all right.?
//Good. Do you need me to come back over?//
?I think we?ll be ok. I?ll keep you posted. I?m
going to hang around here
and make sure...I?m just going to make sure.?
//Don?t worry about it, Graham. I?ll cover for you.
I?ll the major that
you?re monitoring the situation, if I have to.//
Graham smiled. Riley had his back. Of course.
?Thanks, Ri.?
//Just keep me informed and call if you need me.//
?Will do.? Graham hung up the phone and sank down on
the couch. The past
few hours had been hell. Waiting for Xander to wake
up had nearly destroyed
his nerves and having to keep Spike calm hadn?t
helped. The vampire had
been torn between going back to the cemetery and
killing the Cynon and
pacing ceaselessly around Xander?s room, gaze pinned
on the unconscious man.
Now that he knew that Xander was going to be all
right, Graham allowed
himself to relax, releasing the tension and fear that
had driven him for the
past few hours. He watched Spike put Xander?s glass
away in the dishwasher.
Something pulled at his attention. ?When you
offered Xander something to
help with his headache, you weren?t talking about
aspirin, were you??
The blond man watched him with speculation clear on
his face. ?No, I
wasn?t. The kind of headache he?ll have when he wakes
up, aspirin won?t do
him much good. Blood can take away his pain and I?m
not going to let him
hurt.? The vampire lounged on one of the chairs. ?A
little blood can?t
hurt him. It won?t turn him or change him; it heals
him.? The vampire
stared at him mildly. ?I would never hurt him.?
Graham sat up straighter. They?d manage to get along
for the past few
hours, mainly because they were too busy worrying
about Xander to do
anything else. It looked like the temporary truce was
over. Fine. It was
time to end this. ?Are you trying to imply that I
would hurt him??
?I don?t have to imply it. You already have.?
Graham looked down at his hands. The vampire was
right. He knew he?d hurt
Xander, hurt him badly when he?d walked away from him
in the cemetery, but
he?d been hurting himself. He wasn?t proud of what
had happened then, but
he wasn?t going to just give up. He?d made a horrible
mistake and it had
almost cost him Xander. He wasn?t so stupid that he
could make the same
mistake twice. ?I know that. I also know what I
could have lost. I?m not
going to risk that again.? He looked back up at
Spike.
?So no more walking out on him?? Spike?s gaze was
serious.
?As long as he wants me near, as long as he?ll let me
be here, I?m not going
anywhere.? He couldn?t stop it from coming out as a
challenge. ?I love
him.?
Spike held his gaze for several moments. ?Fine. So
do I. Where does that
leave us??
Graham knew he couldn?t fall back on accusing Spike of
lying. He?d seen the
vampire be willing to fight, kill, and die to protect
Xander. Spike did
love him. Graham could also admit that he understood
what Xander saw in
Spike: not only was the vampire protective and a good
friend to the
dark-haired man, but he was also the sexiest thing in
leather to cross
Graham?s path in a long time. Involuntarily, he felt
himself begin to flush
as he studied the curve of the other man?s mouth.
Spike rose to his feet and crossed the short distance
to join Graham on the
couch. ?We?ve got to come to an understanding,? he
said quietly. ?Now.
Otherwise, we?re not going to be able to do anything
to help Xander.?
?What kind of understanding?? Graham was finding it
difficult to think
rationally with Spike sitting so close. He could
smell the leather of the
ever-present duster and the blue gaze that held his
own was even more
powerful up close.
?Humans,? Spike muttered. ?Do you always have to make
everything so hard?
You love Xander. I love Xander.? His eyes darkened
as he deliberately
looked Graham up and down. ?And you?re not so bad
yourself. You helped me
get past some very boring hours while I was locked up
inside your damned
base.?
Graham blinked. ?What?? He could feel himself
reacting to Spike?s blatant
perusal, lust stirring within him as a result of the
other man?s nearness.
?Had to occupy my thoughts somehow, didn?t I?
Vengeance fantasies are well
and good, but they got boring after the third day.
Fantasies about
blue-eyed soldiers, now - those can keep me occupied
much longer. I saw you
in the hall right after I was brought in. I saw you
and I wanted you and I
remembered you. Most fun I had in that place was
thinking of you and
putting on a show for the camera.?
Struggling to swallow with a throat gone suddenly dry,
Graham forced himself
to reply. ?You weren?t just performing for the
camera. I was watching.?
?You were?? Looking very pleased, Spike moved closer.
?Every chance I got. If I had a single shift in the
observation room, I?d
rewind the tape, so I could watch it again and again.?
The admission wasn?t
hard to make, not with Spike smiling at him like that,
hunger so evident in
his eyes. ?I wanted to watch you. I wanted you,
too.?
He didn?t have to wait for Spike?s reaction. The
vampire slowly leaned
forward, clearly telegraphing his intentions. Graham
didn?t try to stop
him; instead, when Spike?s lips brushed over his own
he welcomed the kiss.
It was hesitant and uncertain and when Spike sat back
Graham wasn?t sure if
he was sorry it was over or not. He stared at Spike
for a moment, then it
was his turn to lean forward. He pressed his mouth to
Spike?s, the kiss
that they?d just shared giving him the confidence he
needed to deepen the
caress, licking at Spike?s lips. The blond man
responded willingly, parting
his lips and inviting Graham?s tongue inside to play
with his own
That was all it took for the lust Graham had so
carefully buried to emerge
full-blown and nearly out of control. He wrapped one
arm around Spike to
pull him closer and was met with strength greater than
he?d expected. Not
that Spike was resisting; instead, he was pushing
closer to Graham, seeking
more contact with him as the kiss deepened. Cool
fingers twining in his
hair, Graham slid his arms inside of Spike?s duster,
hands wandering over
the wiry muscle of the vampire?s back. It felt hot
and exciting and far
more right than he?d ever imagined it could. It
wasn?t like it was with
Xander but that was all right because it was good in a
different way.
It was the thought of Xander that brought Graham back
to his senses. He
wrenched away from Spike, pulling his arms free and
staring at the vampire.
He shook his head. ?What was that??
?That was promising,? Spike said. ?I think you?ll
work out just fine, pet.?
Graham stared at him. It couldn?t be that simple. He
and Spike kiss and
everything is all right? ?It doesn?t work like that.?
?Why the hell can?t it?? Spike stood up and paced
irritably. ?I?m not
saying life is going to be roses and puppies from now
on, but life never is.
I?m saying that we?ve got a start. You?re a nice
bit of all right and I?m
not feeling any urgent need to gut you. We both love
Xander and I?m willing
to admit that I could easily begin to care about you.?
He came to a stop
and glared down at Graham. ?Stop thinking about it.
Thinking can?t solve
this. Just feel.?
Graham stared at him, tracing his gaze over the
vampire?s lean body. He
knew he wanted Spike, had known ever since he first
saw the blond man. He?d
been angry when he realized that Spike was competing
with him for Xander?s
attention, but he?d never wanted the other man dead.
Now that he knew how
much Spike really did love Xander, he couldn?t hate
the vampire. He licked
his lips. ?We both love Xander.?
?We both want each other.?
Graham nodded slowly. ?So long as we agree that
whatever happens, we don?t
let it hurt Xander.?
?Or each other,? Spike added. ?I don?t want to hurt
you either, pet.?
A small smile tugging at his lips, Graham nodded. ?I
don?t want to hurt
you, so I guess we?re even.? He smiled at Spike, then
glanced over at the
door to Xander?s bedroom. ?How long before he?s awake
again, do you think??
?Soon, I hope. He needs to rest, but I?d feel when
I?ve given him a drink.
Then I?ll know he?s going to be all right.? He sat
down next to Graham once
more, glancing side long at him. ?You know that it
won?t hurt him. I?d
never do anything to hurt him.?
Graham nodded. ?At least that?s something we can
agree on. Neither of us
would ever do anything to hurt him.?
?Are you sure about that, pet?? Spike?s stare was
frankly skeptical.
*****
Spike watched Graham react to his comment, surprise
blooming in his blue
eyes as he realized that Spike was doubting him. He
knew it was risky to do
this so soon after he and Graham had made fragile
peace between them, but he
couldn?t let this go. He had to make sure that Graham
was truly committed
to this before he let him get anywhere near Xander?s
heart again. He also
had to do this to protect himself; he was under no
illusions about his own
tendencies to become attached quickly and he had no
desire to be hurt.
Well, not hurt like that, anyway.
Graham leaned forward. ?I know I was wrong for what I
said to him. I was
hurt and not thinking and now that I?ve almost lost
him I?m never going to
make that same mistake again. I?m going to do
whatever it takes to make it
up to him.?
?Damn right you?re going to, but that?s not what I?m
talking about.?
Graham?s Jaw tightened. ?In case you?ve forgotten,
I?m not the soulless
demon here. I?m not likely to hurt Xander just for
the sheer fun of it.?
Spike inclined his head in acknowledgement of the
point. ?Since this
particular soulless demon loves him, that?s not
something to worry about.?
?Quit dancing around whatever you?re trying to say and
just say it. I
thought we were getting past this.?
?We will be, pet. Just as soon as I?m sure that
you?re not going to spit on
Xander?s love again, we?ll be just fine.?
?Haven?t you heard anything I said? I?m not going to
hurt Xander. I love
him.?
?Fine. And when your Initiative decides that the
crisis here is finished
and they tell you to head back out to the jungle for
another two years, what
are you going to do then? Kiss Xan and me good-bye
and promise to come up
and visit us when you?ve built up enough leave time??
Graham blinked. It was obvious that he hadn?t really
thought about it. Not
giving him a chance to recover, Spike leaned forward
to get into the other
man?s face. ?Are you really going to convince him to
trust you, to give you
his love and then walk away from him and tell him to
wait for you? After
everything he?s been through, I?m sure he?d be just
fine with having little
or no word from you, never knowing if you?re alive or
hurt. It?s a
completely fair and reasonable request to make, asking
him to live without
you and worry in exchange for spending a few weeks a
year with you.? Spike
had to consciously force himself to lower his voice.
He had more than a few
abandonment issues himself and he didn?t want to wake
Xander up with them.
He cut off his words and watched Graham closely,
waiting for a reaction.
Graham leaned back against the couch and closed his
eyes. ?I hadn?t even
thought that far ahead,? he said quietly. ?I never
thought there could be
anything with Xander, you know? He was with Anya and
then he?d never be
interested and then there was you...it just never
seemed like I needed to
think about this because it was never going to
matter.?
?Then think about it now. It matters. You can?t play
with Xander.?
?Or with you.? One blue eye opened briefly and looked
directly at him.
?You?re a part of this as well.?
Spike was pleasantly surprised. Graham was proving to
be more perceptive
then he?d given him credit for. ?Oh, sometimes I like
to be played with,?
he said with a faint leer, willing to lighten up now
that he had Graham?s
attention. ?But not like this, no.?
?I?m going to get out of the Initiative.?
?I can?t see transferring into another part of the
military as helping.
You?ll be more accessible, but there?s still no base
in Sunnydale. You?ll
still be too distant.?
?No, I mean I?m going to get out of the service
altogether.?
It was Spike?s turn to blink in surprise. He hadn?t
expected that. ?Isn?t
that a big step??
?Yeah, but it?s been coming for a while. I stayed
because someone has to do
the job and I?m good at it. Besides, I didn?t have
anything else tying me
to anywhere else. Now I?ve got two very compelling
reasons to stay in
Sunnydale and I can keep on doing the same work.?
Spike nodded, allowing his pleasure to show on his
face. It was exactly
what he wanted to hear, but he had a few more
questions before he?d be
completely satisfied. ?I?ll admit to not knowing much
about it, but isn?t
it difficult to get out of the military? Don?t you
have to serve out
terms??
?Not in the Initiative. It?s a special assignment,
for volunteers only. I
can get out at anytime; there?s always a list of guys
more eager than they
are bright trying to get in with the special unit.
The work is too
dangerous to allow any sort of burn-out, so getting
out is just a matter of
signing non-disclosure agreements and I?m on my way.?
He sat up and met
Spike?s gaze seriously. ?I didn?t have much else to
do with my life. I?m
good at fighting monsters and Riley was still in the
unit so it was the best
thing I had going.?
?Riley?s still in the unit.? Spike understood the
power the familiar could
have over a person. He figured that the closeness
offered by the military
unit was like what he?d experienced living with
Angelus and Dru. He knew
how that closeness could call to a person and he
didn?t want to risk Graham
not being able to go without it. It was all well and
good for Graham to be
able to get out, but he had to be able to stay out and
he could be drawn
back in by Riley.
Graham shook his head. ?Not for long. His heart went
out of it when he
left Buffy. He?s not going to leave again. I think
Xander convinced him to
try to talk to Buffy, to see if they can give things
another try.?
?What if she won?t take him back?? Spike didn?t feel
any real worry over
beyond how it could effect Graham. He had no regrets
over running Riley
off.
In love or not, he was still the Big Bad.
?Then he?ll do something else. Neither of us finished
grad school and I
know I?d like to. I?ll find something to do that will
let me stay with
Xander.? Graham smiled a little. ?That will let me
stay with you.?
Spike allowed himself to smile back. He knew this
wasn?t going to be easy.
Humans were funny about love even under normal
circumstances. Guiding
Xander and Graham through the ins and outs of a
three-way relationship was
going to be hard, but if Graham was committed to
making it work then they
actually had a chance. Xander was definitely worth it
and he was beginning
to believe that Graham was, too.
?You know this isn?t going to be easy, don?t you,
pet?? Spike finally let
himself relax back into the chair. ?I mean, beyond
the obvious. Xander
hasn?t had any luck at all with love. Add in the fact
that his friends hate
me and don?t really like the Initiative much and we?ve
got an interesting
time ahead of us.?
Graham groaned. ?I don?t want to think about that.
Convincing Xander to go
along with this is going to be hard enough, without
worrying about everyone
else.? A small grin played around the corners of his
mouth. ?I think we
should try convincing him while he?s still feeling the
effects of the head
injury. It might make things easier.?
Spike laughed. ?You?ve noticed how stubborn he can
be, then.? Another
thought occurred to him and he leered at Graham.
?Since we?re getting to
know each other better, pet, there are a few more
things I?d like to ask.?
?Are you sure you wouldn?t just rather I show you??
Graham leered right
back at him.
Better and better. ?In time, yeah. This is something
we actually need to
talk about, though. How much experience do you have
with men??
Graham shrugged. ?Enough, I guess. I haven?t had
many long term
relationships. Being in the military doesn?t make
being gay easy.? He
grinned a little. ?I put my special training to use,
though, so I?ve been
far from lonely in the past. There?s not too much I
haven?t done.? He shot
Spike a challenging look. ?What about you??
Spike as sprawled in the chair as provocatively as he
could, loving the way
Graham?s gaze was focused completely upon him. ?Me?
Pet, I?m a vampire.
Humans don?t even have words for some of the things
I?ve tried.? He shifted
a little in his chair, keeping Graham?s attention.
?Gender doesn?t make a
difference to us. Hell, species is little more than a
passing concern. I
think I can pretty much cover any gaps in your
knowledge.?
Graham swallowed hard. ?Can?t wait,? he answered with
darkened eyes. ?What
about Xander??
?Oh, I?ll show him, too,? Spike promised.
?That?s not what I meant,? Graham said.
?I know.? Spike decided to stop teasing the other
man. ?Xander doesn?t
have any experience with men. No one in his little
group of friends can
keep a secret and I?m sure it would have come up by
now. He?s been involved
with nonhumans before, so that won?t be too much of
stretch for him, but
everything about sex with men will be new for him.?
?Then we?ll just have to take things as slowly as he
needs us to and show
him everything he wants us to.? Graham grinned. ?And
I know I?ll want you
to show me things.?
Spike decided Graham deserved a reward for answering
all the questions
basically the way that Spike wanted him to. He stood
up and shifted over to
sitting on the couch, leaning into Graham?s space.
?I?ll show you anything
you want,? he promised, leaning forward to flick his
tongue over the
blue-eyed man?s lower lip. Warm hands immediately
clasped his shoulder and
pulled him closer and he went willingly, resting his
weight against Graham?s
chest and delving deeper into the other man?s mouth,
kissing him with
curiosity and desire. The warmth was like Xander, but
the similarity ended
there. Graham was far more aggressive, more
confident, and he tasted
nothing like Xander. Not that any of that was bad; it
was different and
delicious and Spike wanted more. He slid his hands
down to the hem of
Graham?s shirt, but before he could make a move to
remove it, a sound from
the other room distracted him.
He pulled away from Graham for a moment to listen
better. A few seconds
later and he was sure. He kissed Graham once more,
hard, and then sat up.
?Xander?s awake.?
*****
Part 18/?
?Mrrrf.? Xander rubbed his cheek against the pillow
and reluctantly opened
his eyes. He looked around the bedroom and found it
empty. He sighed. No
Spike, no Graham. It must have been a dream when he
thought he?d seen them
here. Disappointed, he closed his eyes again. He
could just go back to
sleep, then, and try to get back into that dream.
Wait. He?d done this before. His eyes snapped back
open. He?d woken up
before and Spike and Graham had been here. He rolled
over and sat up,
wincing as he did so. He felt battered inside and
out. His head hurt, but
he thought the throbbing was due to the Cynon?s
tampering than whatever had
knocked him out. Rubbing wearily at his temple, he
swung his legs over the
side of his bed. Dream or not, Graham and Spike
weren?t with him now and he
had to get up and moving. If he wasn?t dead, then he
had to get back to the
business of living.
First thing on the list: downing a bottle of aspirin.
He shoved himself to his feet, hissing a little as the
aches and pains
caught up with him. Even worse was the way the
feeling of rejection and
loneliness that pressed down on him, making his heart
and his limbs feel
heavy. He was so focused on the way he felt that the
voice that came from
the doorway startled him completely.
?What the hell do you think you?re doing?? Spike
glared at him. ?Get back
in bed.?
Xander was surprised enough that he overbalanced and
sat down heavily on the
bed. He could see Graham standing just behind Spike.
It was really no
dream, then. He was confused; he still wasn?t quite
sure why both men were
there. They should have had enough time to get over
their fear from his
near-death and come to their senses and left. That in
mind, he glared
mutinously at both of them. ?I don?t want to sleep
anymore. I?m awake and
I?m thirsty and I?m going to get up.? He realized
that he was wearing
nothing more than boxer shorts and his T-shirt. ?I
need to get dressed.?
Spike looked ready to stand in the door all day, but
Graham grasped his
shoulder and pulled him away, then reached out to
close the door, leaving
Xander alone in his room.
Xander blinked. He hadn?t expected Spike to give in
without a fight. He
hurried and pulled on a pair of sweat pants, then took
a moment to steady
himself. He was feeling an urge to crawl back into
bed and hide until the
two men went away, but he couldn?t do that. He had to
go out there and find
out why they were so damn determined to stay in a
place where they couldn?t
really want to be.
He opened up the door and walked into the living room.
Graham was sitting
on the couch and Spike was leaning against a wall,
obviously waiting for him
to come out. Xander braced himself for another
argument about why they
should be gone. He never got the chance to start in
on his reasons why they
should leave, though.
Spike was instantly at his side, cool fingers brushing
lightly over Xander?s
forehead. ?How?s the head, luv? Does it hurt much??
?Yeah.? Xander realized he might have given them
reason to stay, so he
added a quick amendment, ?Not too much, though.?
?Right.? Spike?s direct glare told him that the
vampire didn?t believe him
for a moment. ?Sit down and I?ll get you something to
take care of the
pain.? He led Xander over to the couch and had him
sit down beside Graham.
?I can take care of myself. I?m fine. You two can
go.?
?Not a chance,? Graham said quietly, a warm presence
by Xander?s side. ?I
told you that I?m not going anywhere, Xander. I don?t
want to lose you.
I?m not making the same mistake again.? When Xander
tried to object again,
Graham shook his head and hesitantly laid his hand
over Xander?s. ?I don?t
expect you to trust me right away. I know that I have
to earn that right
back. I will do it. There?s nothing I want more.?
Xander searched Graham?s blue eyes carefully, but all
he saw was sincerity
and hope and love. There was no deception, no
lingering resentment, just
truth. He felt the couch dip slightly on his other
side and found Spike
looking at him with the same expression. All his
resolve to force them to
leave began to waver. When Spike took his other hand
and raised it to his
lips at the same time Graham kissed the back of his
neck, Xander gave in.
He was probably going to regret this in the future.
This was crazy and
foolish and they were all going to end up hurt in the
end...but for right
now, he couldn?t care. Graham and Spike were both
here and they loved him
and for the moment that was enough. It was all he
needed or wanted and he
was going to accept it for as long as it lasted. He
relaxed back against
Graham, boneless and trusting in his arms. At the
same time, he turned his
hand in Spike?s grasp to cup the vampire?s cheek.
?You win,? he said
quietly. ?You both win.?
?No, luv,? Spike said gently. ?We all win.?
?All of us,? Graham agreed, kissing the side of
Xander?s neck.
Xander winced a little as his head reminded him just
how badly it ached. He
was willing to ignore it, though. He was being held
by the two people he
care about most in the world; what was a headache
compared to that?
Spike apparently disagreed. He caught sight of the
wince and his hands were
instantly cradling Xander?s head in a gentle grip.
?Head still hurting,
luv??
Xander shrugged. ?More from the Cynon than anything
else, I think. I?ve
been hit in the head a few times before and this feels
different.?
?Let me take care of that for you.? Spike pulled a
knife out of his boot,
flourishing the blade to catch the light from the lamp
in flashing glints.
He put the point against the delicate skin of his
wrist. ?Ready??
Xander froze. How was Graham going to react to this?
Letting Spike drink
his blood was one thing; drinking vampire blood was
something altogether
different. Spike and Graham had come to some sort of
understanding and this
could ruin it all.
Warm lips brushed his ear. ?Go ahead. I don?t want
you to be hurting.
It?s all right.? Graham tightened his arms around
Xander?s middle.
Xander relaxed and nodded, holding Spike?s gaze.
?Please,? he said simply.
He watched as Spike sliced deeply into his own flesh,
dark blood quickly
welling up out of the gash. He lifted Spike?s wrist
to his lips and
fastened his mouth over the cut, drinking deeply as
blood rushed to the
surface. Again, he was surprised by how easy it was
to swallow. There was
the metallic taste he knew from tasting his own blood
from a hundred
different skirmishes at Buffy?s side, but there was so
much more. Power and
seduction in a heavy liquid that slid smoothly down
his throat...and then
Spike was tugging his wrist away. With a final
reluctant lick, Xander
released the vampire?s arm.
Blue eyes dark, Spike ran his tongue over the gash.
?Give it just a few
minutes and then you?ll be much better.? He leaned
forward and kissed
Xander deeply.
Feeling slightly dazed, Xander responded eagerly,
wanting to taste more of
Spike however he could. He protested when Spike
pulled away, but Graham was
there immediately to take the vampire?s place and his
protests died away
under the assault of warm lips and a tentative curious
tongue. When he
finally drew away from Graham, Xander?s headache was
rapidly disappearing.
Still leaning back against Graham, Xander watched with
wide eyes as Spike
once again drew near to him. This time, the vampire
didn?t even attempt to
kiss him. Instead, Spike passed him by completely in
favor of kissing
Graham. Breath coming faster, Xander watched as Spike
pushed Graham further
back against the couch, watched as Graham countered
with a hand sliding up
under the hem of Spike?s black shirt. It was strange
to see them together.
Strange and arousing as hell. He watched with growing
appreciation and lust
as they moved against each other, bumping against him
in the process.
Finally, the kiss came to an end and Graham and Spike
broke apart to look
over at him. ?Wow,? he said. ?Um, when did this
happen??
Graham?s expression was a little shy. ?Just a little
while ago, actually.
We both admitted to a few facts we?d been denying.?
?Like wanting to shag each other,? Spike added.
?Yeah,? Graham agreed.
?You?re sure?? Xander asked. This was amazing. He
hadn?t imagined...all
right, maybe in a few fantasies he wouldn?t have
admitted to previously he
had imagined, but he?d never really believed that
Spike and Graham could
ever do anything except quietly loathe each other.
Spike leered at Graham. ?Oh, I?m very sure.?
Xander kissed Spike hard, then did the same to Graham.
Spike sat back up,
giving Graham and Xander both a little more room.
Xander settled more fully
against Graham?s chest. ?So what happens now??
Graham sighed and wrapped his arms around Xander once
more. ?I?m going to
quit the Initiative, for starters.?
?What?? Xander tried to turn around, but Graham held
him fast.
?It?s time. I was only staying in because I had
nowhere better to be and I
was good at my job. I?ve found someplace that I?d
rather be.? He nuzzled
at Xander?s ear. ?It?s not a hard choice to make.
You?re here. Spike?s
here. This is where I?m going to be. Besides, I want
to stay and help make
sure that Sunnydale doesn?t go up in flames. I want
to stay here and
discover everything about both of you and what we can
have together.?
Xander pinched his own arm. ?Ow!?
?Why the hell would you do that?? Spike asked,
catching Xander?s hands and
holding them between his own.
?Just checking. I had to make sure that I wasn?t
dreaming.?
?Does this feel like a dream?? Graham asked, slipping
his hands under
Xander?s shirt and smoothing them up over his stomach.
Xander shivered deliciously. ?I?m not sure...? He
let his voice trail off
plaintively.
Spike didn?t disappoint him. The blond man moved in
on Xander with a look
of animal pleasure and anticipation. He knelt up on
the couch to loom over
Xander. ?Does this feel like a dream?? he asked, then
leaned down and
claimed Xander?s lips.
Xander arched up into the caress, writhing against
Graham as warm hands
slowly wandered up his chest. Xander reached out to
pull Spike down to rest
against him, craving more contact. He grasped the hem
of Spike?s shirt and
pulled upwards, impatient to see and feel more skin.
Spike cooperated and
allowed him to tear the shirt away. Graham took that
as encouragement and
worked Xander?s shirt off as well. Thoroughly pleased
by this, Xander
dropped his hands to the fastening of Spike?s jeans.
He?d dreamed of Spike
and Graham, fantasized about being free to touch and
explore and love them
for so long that he was impatient to finally begin.
Nothing was enough:
not Spike?s lips at his throat, not Graham?s tongue in
his ear. He had to
have more.
When Spike?s hands interfered with his purpose, Xander
growled impatiently.
Spike wasn?t fazed by it; he just held Xander?s hands
tighter. ?Xan, wait,
luv.?
?I can wait later,? Xander said. ?Right now there are
things I?d really
rather be doing.?
?Xander, slow down.?
Xander froze. ?What?s wrong??
?Nothing,? Graham said reassuringly.
?Good.? Now that was settled, Xander returned to
important matters, like
getting Spike out of his jeans. Then he could move on
to the equally
important task of getting Graham out of his clothes,
too.
?Xander!? Spike grabbed his hands once more.
?What??
Spike laughed. ?You?re making it very difficult to
take this slow.?
?Who the hell wants to take things slow?? Xander was
beginning to get
confused.
Graham shifted behind him. ?Xander, I...we don?t want
to push you into
anything. I mean, being with a guy, much less two
guys, is different than
being with a woman. I understand that you might need
some time to get used
to things, and we?ll give you as much time as you
need. You don?t have to
prove anything to us.? Spike nodded throughout the
speech, throwing his
support in with Graham.
Xander blinked. It took a few seconds for the reason
behind their
hesitation to sink in. When he finally realized what
they though, he began
to laugh. He pushed himself up and off of Graham,
forcing Spike to move
over. He slid off the couch, turning as he did, so
that he was kneeling on
the floor, facing the two men on the couch. He
managed to get his laughter
under control as he stared up at their obvious
confusion. ?Guys, I?m
touched that you?d worry about me like that, but you
don?t have to. I?m not
a blushing virgin here.?
?Anyone who was every anywhere near Anya knows that,
Xan,? Spike said.
?But-?
?Not inexperienced with women,? Xander agreed
patiently. ?And not with men,
either.? He watched the surprise bloom on their
faces, feeling fairly
satisfied. He?d never told anyone about the man he?d
met while working in
Oxnard. The green-eyed man had been watching Xander
shake his little tush
on the catwalk of the Fabulous Ladies? Nightclub.
He?d caught Xander?s eye
and they?d spoken on one of his breaks. He?d been
calling himself Alex, and
he was pretty sure ?Alan?s? name wasn?t his usual
either. That hadn?t
detracted at all from the charm of Alan?s sense of
humor or Irish accent.
They?d been friends, nothing more, but that meant
their explorations in bed
had been filled with laughter and gentleness and fun.
Xander had learned a
lot and enjoyed every moment of it. He had left
Oxnard after he had enough
money to fix his car, and Alan had to return to Los
Angeles - something
about working for the power company, or something.
Xander hadn?t seen him
again, but he still thought of him fondly and hoped he
was well.
The brown-eyed man shook himself loose from his
memories and focused back on
the two men on the couch. He frowned. They both
looked confused, and Spike
was beginning to look pissed. ?What??
?Who was it?? Spike demanded.
Xander got ready to make a joke about Spike?s
possessiveness, but then he
watched as Graham?s lip curled up in a snarl. ?Guys?
What is this??
?None of your friends ever mentioned you being with a
guy before,? Spike
said, ignoring the question.
?Because I never told them.? He hadn?t wanted to
share that with the rest
of the Scoobies. He?d kept the truth about his job at
the club and Alan to
himself. It wasn?t something he was ready to share.
He?d wanted to protect
it by keeping it private.
?So who was it?? Graham was definitely snarling.
Xander decided that he was going to keep Alan?s name
to himself. He had no
idea how to find the Irishman, but he wasn?t going to
give either Spike or
Graham the chance to go looking for him. ?No one you
know. I haven?t seen
him in over a year, and I don?t think I ever will
again.? He held up a hand
to stop the questions he could read in both pairs of
blue eyes. ?He was a
friend. We had a lot of fun and I learned a lot and
it?s over now.? The
fire didn?t go out of either man?s eyes and Xander
decided that he was never
going to mention Alan again. He licked his lips,
trying to think of a way
to distract them.
Spike growled and hauled Xander up onto the couch,
roughly teasing Xander?s
lips apart with his own in a bruising kiss. Just as
Xander was getting
dizzy from lack of oxygen, Spike pushed him away -
straight into Graham?s
waiting arms. Xander gasped a bit and then wrapped
his arms around Graham?s
neck, sinking his hands into the other man?s hair as
he kissed him. He felt
Spike?s hands tugging at his sweats and wriggled
happily.
At first the sound he was hearing didn?t make any
sense to him. It took him
a few moments to figure out that the high-pitched tone
was his doorbell. He
wrenched his face to the side, breaking the kiss with
Graham. ?Shit.?
?Maybe if we ignore them they?ll go away,? Graham
suggested.
?Xander? Are you in there?? Willow?s voice was
muffled as she called
through the door.
?Shit,? Spike said. ?Maybe we can stay quiet enough
to make her think we?re
not here??
?No good,? Xander groaned, pushing himself up and off
of Graham. ?She?s got
a key.? He grabbed his shirt from the floor and
pulled it back on, then
tried to smooth his hair back down. ?Get yourselves
together,? he said,
heading for the door, even as he heard Willow?s key
slide home in the lock.
Title: Uncommon Distractions
Author: Kay
Email: kaygrr@hotmail.com
Feedback: Please? Because watching a grown girl cry
is just pathetic.
Website: ssfdu.tripod.com/kay/journal.htm (love for
Sandy)
Archive: Just let me know, eh?
Fandom: Buffy
Pairing: (Xander/Graham) + (Xander/Spike) =
Xander/Graham/Spike
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Mine? What? *These*? No, they?re Mutant
Enemy?s. They just
followed me home and wouldn?t leave until I played
with them.
Spoilers: The last season of Buffy. The incident
with Glory, and the ep
?The Body?. (Look at me, trying to be vague). And
that ugly rumor about
Spike and a certain blond slayer? Never happened.
Summery: Graham and Riley are called back to
Sunnydale when the area
destabilizes. When they return, they discover there
are new factors in
lives of the Scooby Gang, especially in Xander and
Spike?s.
Part 18/?
?Mrrrf.? Xander rubbed his cheek against the pillow
and reluctantly opened
his eyes. He looked around the bedroom and found it
empty. He sighed. No
Spike, no Graham. It must have been a dream when he
thought he?d seen them
here. Disappointed, he closed his eyes again. He
could just go back to
sleep, then, and try to get back into that dream.
Wait. He?d done this before. His eyes snapped back
open. He?d woken up
before and Spike and Graham had been here. He rolled
over and sat up,
wincing as he did so. He felt battered inside and
out. His head hurt, but
he thought the throbbing was due to the Cynon?s
tampering than whatever had
knocked him out. Rubbing wearily at his temple, he
swung his legs over the
side of his bed. Dream or not, Graham and Spike
weren?t with him now and he
had to get up and moving. If he wasn?t dead, then he
had to get back to the
business of living.
First thing on the list: downing a bottle of aspirin.
He shoved himself to his feet, hissing a little as the
aches and pains
caught up with him. Even worse was the way the
feeling of rejection and
loneliness that pressed down on him, making his heart
and his limbs feel
heavy. He was so focused on the way he felt that the
voice that came from
the doorway startled him completely.
?What the hell do you think you?re doing?? Spike
glared at him. ?Get back
in bed.?
Xander was surprised enough that he overbalanced and
sat down heavily on the
bed. He could see Graham standing just behind Spike.
It was really no
dream, then. He was confused; he still wasn?t quite
sure why both men were
there. They should have had enough time to get over
their fear from his
near-death and come to their senses and left. That in
mind, he glared
mutinously at both of them. ?I don?t want to sleep
anymore. I?m awake and
I?m thirsty and I?m going to get up.? He realized
that he was wearing
nothing more than boxer shorts and his T-shirt. ?I
need to get dressed.?
Spike looked ready to stand in the door all day, but
Graham grasped his
shoulder and pulled him away, then reached out to
close the door, leaving
Xander alone in his room.
Xander blinked. He hadn?t expected Spike to give in
without a fight. He
hurried and pulled on a pair of sweat pants, then took
a moment to steady
himself. He was feeling an urge to crawl back into
bed and hide until the
two men went away, but he couldn?t do that. He had to
go out there and find
out why they were so damn determined to stay in a
place where they couldn?t
really want to be.
He opened up the door and walked into the living room.
Graham was sitting
on the couch and Spike was leaning against a wall,
obviously waiting for him
to come out. Xander braced himself for another
argument about why they
should be gone. He never got the chance to start in
on his reasons why they
should leave, though.
Spike was instantly at his side, cool fingers brushing
lightly over Xander?s
forehead. ?How?s the head, luv? Does it hurt much??
?Yeah.? Xander realized he might have given them
reason to stay, so he
added a quick amendment, ?Not too much, though.?
?Right.? Spike?s direct glare told him that the
vampire didn?t believe him
for a moment. ?Sit down and I?ll get you something to
take care of the
pain.? He led Xander over to the couch and had him
sit down beside Graham.
?I can take care of myself. I?m fine. You two can
go.?
?Not a chance,? Graham said quietly, a warm presence
by Xander?s side. ?I
told you that I?m not going anywhere, Xander. I don?t
want to lose you.
I?m not making the same mistake again.? When Xander
tried to object again,
Graham shook his head and hesitantly laid his hand
over Xander?s. ?I don?t
expect you to trust me right away. I know that I have
to earn that right
back. I will do it. There?s nothing I want more.?
Xander searched Graham?s blue eyes carefully, but all
he saw was sincerity
and hope and love. There was no deception, no
lingering resentment, just
truth. He felt the couch dip slightly on his other
side and found Spike
looking at him with the same expression. All his
resolve to force them to
leave began to waver. When Spike took his other hand
and raised it to his
lips at the same time Graham kissed the back of his
neck, Xander gave in.
He was probably going to regret this in the future.
This was crazy and
foolish and they were all going to end up hurt in the
end...but for right
now, he couldn?t care. Graham and Spike were both
here and they loved him
and for the moment that was enough. It was all he
needed or wanted and he
was going to accept it for as long as it lasted. He
relaxed back against
Graham, boneless and trusting in his arms. At the
same time, he turned his
hand in Spike?s grasp to cup the vampire?s cheek.
?You win,? he said
quietly. ?You both win.?
?No, luv,? Spike said gently. ?We all win.?
?All of us,? Graham agreed, kissing the side of
Xander?s neck.
Xander winced a little as his head reminded him just
how badly it ached. He
was willing to ignore it, though. He was being held
by the two people he
care about most in the world; what was a headache
compared to that?
Spike apparently disagreed. He caught sight of the
wince and his hands were
instantly cradling Xander?s head in a gentle grip.
?Head still hurting,
luv??
Xander shrugged. ?More from the Cynon than anything
else, I think. I?ve
been hit in the head a few times before and this feels
different.?
?Let me take care of that for you.? Spike pulled a
knife out of his boot,
flourishing the blade to catch the light from the lamp
in flashing glints.
He put the point against the delicate skin of his
wrist. ?Ready??
Xander froze. How was Graham going to react to this?
Letting Spike drink
his blood was one thing; drinking vampire blood was
something altogether
different. Spike and Graham had come to some sort of
understanding and this
could ruin it all.
Warm lips brushed his ear. ?Go ahead. I don?t want
you to be hurting.
It?s all right.? Graham tightened his arms around
Xander?s middle.
Xander relaxed and nodded, holding Spike?s gaze.
?Please,? he said simply.
He watched as Spike sliced deeply into his own flesh,
dark blood quickly
welling up out of the gash. He lifted Spike?s wrist
to his lips and
fastened his mouth over the cut, drinking deeply as
blood rushed to the
surface. Again, he was surprised by how easy it was
to swallow. There was
the metallic taste he knew from tasting his own blood
from a hundred
different skirmishes at Buffy?s side, but there was so
much more. Power and
seduction in a heavy liquid that slid smoothly down
his throat...and then
Spike was tugging his wrist away. With a final
reluctant lick, Xander
released the vampire?s arm.
Blue eyes dark, Spike ran his tongue over the gash.
?Give it just a few
minutes and then you?ll be much better.? He leaned
forward and kissed
Xander deeply.
Feeling slightly dazed, Xander responded eagerly,
wanting to taste more of
Spike however he could. He protested when Spike
pulled away, but Graham was
there immediately to take the vampire?s place and his
protests died away
under the assault of warm lips and a tentative curious
tongue. When he
finally drew away from Graham, Xander?s headache was
rapidly disappearing.
Still leaning back against Graham, Xander watched with
wide eyes as Spike
once again drew near to him. This time, the vampire
didn?t even attempt to
kiss him. Instead, Spike passed him by completely in
favor of kissing
Graham. Breath coming faster, Xander watched as Spike
pushed Graham further
back against the couch, watched as Graham countered
with a hand sliding up
under the hem of Spike?s black shirt. It was strange
to see them together.
Strange and arousing as hell. He watched with growing
appreciation and lust
as they moved against each other, bumping against him
in the process.
Finally, the kiss came to an end and Graham and Spike
broke apart to look
over at him. ?Wow,? he said. ?Um, when did this
happen??
Graham?s expression was a little shy. ?Just a little
while ago, actually.
We both admitted to a few facts we?d been denying.?
?Like wanting to shag each other,? Spike added.
?Yeah,? Graham agreed.
?You?re sure?? Xander asked. This was amazing. He
hadn?t imagined...all
right, maybe in a few fantasies he wouldn?t have
admitted to previously he
had imagined, but he?d never really believed that
Spike and Graham could
ever do anything except quietly loathe each other.
Spike leered at Graham. ?Oh, I?m very sure.?
Xander kissed Spike hard, then did the same to Graham.
Spike sat back up,
giving Graham and Xander both a little more room.
Xander settled more fully
against Graham?s chest. ?So what happens now??
Graham sighed and wrapped his arms around Xander once
more. ?I?m going to
quit the Initiative, for starters.?
?What?? Xander tried to turn around, but Graham held
him fast.
?It?s time. I was only staying in because I had
nowhere better to be and I
was good at my job. I?ve found someplace that I?d
rather be.? He nuzzled
at Xander?s ear. ?It?s not a hard choice to make.
You?re here. Spike?s
here. This is where I?m going to be. Besides, I want
to stay and help make
sure that Sunnydale doesn?t go up in flames. I want
to stay here and
discover everything about both of you and what we can
have together.?
Xander pinched his own arm. ?Ow!?
?Why the hell would you do that?? Spike asked,
catching Xander?s hands and
holding them between his own.
?Just checking. I had to make sure that I wasn?t
dreaming.?
?Does this feel like a dream?? Graham asked, slipping
his hands under
Xander?s shirt and smoothing them up over his stomach.
Xander shivered deliciously. ?I?m not sure...? He
let his voice trail off
plaintively.
Spike didn?t disappoint him. The blond man moved in
on Xander with a look
of animal pleasure and anticipation. He knelt up on
the couch to loom over
Xander. ?Does this feel like a dream?? he asked, then
leaned down and
claimed Xander?s lips.
Xander arched up into the caress, writhing against
Graham as warm hands
slowly wandered up his chest. Xander reached out to
pull Spike down to rest
against him, craving more contact. He grasped the hem
of Spike?s shirt and
pulled upwards, impatient to see and feel more skin.
Spike cooperated and
allowed him to tear the shirt away. Graham took that
as encouragement and
worked Xander?s shirt off as well. Thoroughly pleased
by this, Xander
dropped his hands to the fastening of Spike?s jeans.
He?d dreamed of Spike
and Graham, fantasized about being free to touch and
explore and love them
for so long that he was impatient to finally begin.
Nothing was enough:
not Spike?s lips at his throat, not Graham?s tongue in
his ear. He had to
have more.
When Spike?s hands interfered with his purpose, Xander
growled impatiently.
Spike wasn?t fazed by it; he just held Xander?s hands
tighter. ?Xan, wait,
luv.?
?I can wait later,? Xander said. ?Right now there are
things I?d really
rather be doing.?
?Xander, slow down.?
Xander froze. ?What?s wrong??
?Nothing,? Graham said reassuringly.
?Good.? Now that was settled, Xander returned to
important matters, like
getting Spike out of his jeans. Then he could move on
to the equally
important task of getting Graham out of his clothes,
too.
?Xander!? Spike grabbed his hands once more.
?What??
Spike laughed. ?You?re making it very difficult to
take this slow.?
?Who the hell wants to take things slow?? Xander was
beginning to get
confused.
Graham shifted behind him. ?Xander, I...we don?t want
to push you into
anything. I mean, being with a guy, much less two
guys, is different than
being with a woman. I understand that you might need
some time to get used
to things, and we?ll give you as much time as you
need. You don?t have to
prove anything to us.? Spike nodded throughout the
speech, throwing his
support in with Graham.
Xander blinked. It took a few seconds for the reason
behind their
hesitation to sink in. When he finally realized what
they though, he began
to laugh. He pushed himself up and off of Graham,
forcing Spike to move
over. He slid off the couch, turning as he did, so
that he was kneeling on
the floor, facing the two men on the couch. He
managed to get his laughter
under control as he stared up at their obvious
confusion. ?Guys, I?m
touched that you?d worry about me like that, but you
don?t have to. I?m not
a blushing virgin here.?
?Anyone who was every anywhere near Anya knows that,
Xan,? Spike said.
?But-?
?Not inexperienced with women,? Xander agreed
patiently. ?And not with men,
either.? He watched the surprise bloom on their
faces, feeling fairly
satisfied. He?d never told anyone about the man he?d
met while working in
Oxnard. The green-eyed man had been watching Xander
shake his little tush
on the catwalk of the Fabulous Ladies? Nightclub.
He?d caught Xander?s eye
and they?d spoken on one of his breaks. He?d been
calling himself Alex, and
he was pretty sure ?Alan?s? name wasn?t his usual
either. That hadn?t
detracted at all from the charm of Alan?s sense of
humor or Irish accent.
They?d been friends, nothing more, but that meant
their explorations in bed
had been filled with laughter and gentleness and fun.
Xander had learned a
lot and enjoyed every moment of it. He had left
Oxnard after he had enough
money to fix his car, and Alan had to return to Los
Angeles - something
about working for the power company, or something.
Xander hadn?t seen him
again, but he still thought of him fondly and hoped he
was well.
The brown-eyed man shook himself loose from his
memories and focused back on
the two men on the couch. He frowned. They both
looked confused, and Spike
was beginning to look pissed. ?What??
?Who was it?? Spike demanded.
Xander got ready to make a joke about Spike?s
possessiveness, but then he
watched as Graham?s lip curled up in a snarl. ?Guys?
What is this??
?None of your friends ever mentioned you being with a
guy before,? Spike
said, ignoring the question.
?Because I never told them.? He hadn?t wanted to
share that with the rest
of the Scoobies. He?d kept the truth about his job at
the club and Alan to
himself. It wasn?t something he was ready to share.
He?d wanted to protect
it by keeping it private.
?So who was it?? Graham was definitely snarling.
Xander decided that he was going to keep Alan?s name
to himself. He had no
idea how to find the Irishman, but he wasn?t going to
give either Spike or
Graham the chance to go looking for him. ?No one you
know. I haven?t seen
him in over a year, and I don?t think I ever will
again.? He held up a hand
to stop the questions he could read in both pairs of
blue eyes. ?He was a
friend. We had a lot of fun and I learned a lot and
it?s over now.? The
fire didn?t go out of either man?s eyes and Xander
decided that he was never
going to mention Alan again. He licked his lips,
trying to think of a way
to distract them.
Spike growled and hauled Xander up onto the couch,
roughly teasing Xander?s
lips apart with his own in a bruising kiss. Just as
Xander was getting
dizzy from lack of oxygen, Spike pushed him away -
straight into Graham?s
waiting arms. Xander gasped a bit and then wrapped
his arms around Graham?s
neck, sinking his hands into the other man?s hair as
he kissed him. He felt
Spike?s hands tugging at his sweats and wriggled
happily.
At first the sound he was hearing didn?t make any
sense to him. It took him
a few moments to figure out that the high-pitched tone
was his doorbell. He
wrenched his face to the side, breaking the kiss with
Graham. ?Shit.?
?Maybe if we ignore them they?ll go away,? Graham
suggested.
?Xander? Are you in there?? Willow?s voice was
muffled as she called
through the door.
?Shit,? Spike said. ?Maybe we can stay quiet enough
to make her think we?re
not here??
?No good,? Xander groaned, pushing himself up and off
of Graham. ?She?s got
a key.? He grabbed his shirt from the floor and
pulled it back on, then
tried to smooth his hair back down. ?Get yourselves
together,? he said,
heading for the door, even as he heard Willow?s key
slide home in the lock.
*****
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