Part 21/24

Xander came awake slowly, his first thought relief 
that he was finally 
waking up without pain.  If that was getting to be a 
highlight for him, he 
really had to look into changing his lifestyle.  As 
awareness returned to 
him fully, he realized that he wasn?t alone in bed.  
He opened his eyes but 
otherwise remained motionless.  He smiled as he took 
in the sight of Graham 
lying sprawled over his chest.  The soldier was still 
sleep, his face 
nestled on Xander?s shoulder and his arms wrapped 
loosely around him.  
Xander moved his shoulder a little.  It felt damp.  
With a grin, he realized 
that Graham had drooled on him.

The grin faded as he had more time to think.  Graham 
was in bed with him.  
He could remember agreeing to let Spike and Graham 
stay.  He remembered 
Graham?s idea about the Cynon being responsible for 
his fear of a 
relationship them.  He wanted to believe that:  it 
would be nice if the fear 
that filled him would just disappear.  He could still 
feel the terror of 
rejection running through him.  He wanted to think 
that it was weaker than 
it had been yesterday, but that could just be his own 
hopes influencing his 
perception.

Graham nuzzled his shoulder and tightened his embrace, 
protective and 
wanting, even in sleep.  Xander concentrated on the 
heat and weight of the 
other man for a moment, taking comfort in the 
sensation of being held.  
Maybe if he couldn?t trust himself, he could trust 
Graham and Spike.  
Speaking of Spike...Xander craned his neck one way and 
then another, looking 
for the vampire.  When he looked over to the left, he 
found him.  ?Spike?? 
he whispered, confused.  Spike was sitting on the 
floor, staring at him and 
Graham.

?What am I getting myself into?? Spike asked quietly.  
?You and Graham.  
Human.  Limited.?  He was holding himself very still 
and his gaze was 
somber.

?What??  Xander tried to turn so he could better see 
Spike.

?You humans think too much and half the time you?re 
thinking wrong.  You 
can?t make rules for love.  Love can?t be wrong or 
right.  It just is.  
There aren?t limits on love:  not on who you love, not 
on how many you love. 
  Love is love and you take all you can for as long as 
it lasts.?  Spike 
glanced at Graham?s face and when he met Xander?s gaze 
again the seriousness 
had faded in his eyes, replaced by more familiar 
wicked amusement.  ?And of 
course there?s the shagging.  You do that as often as 
you can, too.?

Xander smiled at Spike, feeling some of the negativity 
inside of him ebb 
away.  How typical was this for his life:  a soulless 
vampire understood 
love better than he did.  If he was going to trust 
Graham where the cause 
for his emotions was concerned, he could trust Spike 
about what love could 
and couldn?t be.  He looked down at Graham, 
tentatively stroking his hand 
over his back.  ?What about Graham??

?I do fancy him,? Spike admitted.  ?Always thought he 
was good looking.?  He 
knelt up beside the bed, putting his hand over 
Xander?s.  ?I like him, luv.  
There?s a potential for more.  Both of us want to make 
a go of it; we?ll see 
what happens.?

?You?ve got good taste,? Xander said.  A devilish 
impulse made him say, ?Of 
course, you?ve always liked the tall, commanding 
type.?  He snuck a peek at 
Spike.

The vampire stared at him for a second, and then he 
was smiling in sardonic 
acknowledgement.  ?He?s better looking than Angelus.?  
The smile slid off 
his face.  ?Xan, I love you.  Believe that.  I love 
you and so does Graham 
and I want you to give us a chance to show you how 
good it can be.  I swear 
to you that you won?t get hurt.  If it means my 
unlife, I won?t let you be 
hurt.?

As Spike finished speaking, Graham?s arms tightened 
around Xander and the 
soldier turned his head to look up at him.  He didn?t 
say how long he?d been 
awake.  He just held Xander?s gaze and kissed him 
gently, then said, ?Spike 
said it all.  I want a chance from you.  Please, 
Xander.  I?ll make sure you 
never regret it for even a moment.?

Xander stared at Graham and then Spike and then back 
to Graham again.  He 
didn?t know what the future was going to bring for 
them.  There was no way 
he could know.  The best thing he could do was just 
live and love and hope 
for the best.  If Spike and Graham both wanted to live 
and love with him, 
then why should he do it alone?  Especially when he 
loved them both so much?

?Yes,? he said simply.

?Yes?? Graham said, hope flaring in his eyes.

?Yes,? he repeated.  ?Besides, I?m never really going 
to get rid of you two, 
am I??

?Never,? Graham vowed, before claiming Xander?s lips 
in another kiss.  It 
was enthusiastic and rough and the only that made the 
ending of it bearable 
was that Spike was there, mouth voracious and 
consuming.

This couldn?t be wrong.  Not when every stroke of 
Graham?s hands, every 
brush of Spike?s lips made him feel complete.  Made 
him feel like he?d 
finally found home.  He smiled as Spike leaned back, 
arching up a little to 
fully appreciate Graham?s weight against him.  His 
eyes widened as Graham 
angled his head to take Spike?s mouth in a searing 
kiss.  He shifted as he 
grew hard, thrusting up against Graham lightly in a 
search for friction.

Graham broke away from the kiss with Spike to stare 
down at him.  ?See 
something you like?? he asked, grinning as he thrust 
back.

Xander nodded.  ?You two together...? he let his voice 
trail away and 
settled for thrusting up against Graham again.  ?Do it 
again?? he asked.

?I don?t know if I want to,? Spike said petulantly.

Graham just laughed at him and grabbed a fistful of 
the vampire?s shirt, 
hauling him forward for another kiss.  Xander watched 
as they battled for 
control, eyes closed in pure animal pleasure as they 
moved against each 
other.  Graham continued to thrust against Xander, his 
rhythm gone and his 
movements erratic.  That was fine; Xander could do the 
work himself, so long 
as he got to watch.

Graham turned his head to the side and panted for 
breath.  He raised an 
eyebrow as he met Xander?s gaze.  ?You?re quite the 
voyeur, aren?t you??

Xander didn?t bother to answer; he just thrust with 
increased urgency.

?Like to watch then, do you?? Spike asked with 
interest.

?Watching is good,? Xander agreed.  He reached out and 
cupped his hand 
around the back of Spike?s neck and jerking him into a 
bruising kiss.  
Graham?s hands and Spike?s tongue and finally having 
made the decision to 
trust in their love all combined, creating in Xander a 
sensation of 
fulfillment that he?d never known before.  This was 
right; this was where he 
wanted to be, where he needed to be.

The doorbell chimed.

Spike looked up disbelievingly.  ?She already checked 
on you once!? he 
protested.

They all froze and listened intently.  If it was 
Willow again, Xander was 
going to have to kill her.  He loved her, but 
interrupting twice in one day 
was going to far.  He didn?t go over to the dorm and 
stop her and Tara 
from...making spells, did he?

Muffled but clearly excited, Riley?s voice came 
through the door.  ?Graham?  
Guys, are you in there??

Graham groaned and banged his forehead lightly against 
Xander?s chest.  ?I?m 
going to kill him.?

?Right after you open the door and find out what 
happened, right?? Xander 
asked.  He smiled at Graham?s surprise.  ?Hey, I?ve 
got a best friend with a 
rotten sense of timing, remember??

?I have to talk to him,? Graham said.  ?He was going 
to see Buffy.?

Spike swore under his breath, but he shoved himself to 
his feet.  ?After 
he?s gone, I?m going to rip that fucking chime out of 
the wall.?  He pulled 
on his jeans, muttering to himself the whole time.

Graham got to his feet as well, searching for his 
pants.  After he pulled 
them on, he deliberately stepped in front of Spike.  
?Hey,? he said.  ?I?ll 
make it up to you.?

Spike kissed him savagely.  ?You bet your ass.?

Xander sulked as he sat up.  ?You?re not going to make 
it up to me??  He was 
pulled to his feet with dizzying speed and Graham 
kissed him breathless.

?It goes without saying,? Graham said seriously.  
?I?ve got a lot to make up 
to you.?  He licked delicately at Xander?s lower lip, 
then pushed him gently 
toward Spike.  ?Get dressed.?

Xander flipped him off, but he pulled on a pair of 
sweat pants.  He followed 
Graham out of the bedroom, then Spike took his arm and 
dragged him into the 
living room.  The vampire sat down on the couch and 
pulled Xander down to 
sit beside him.  Xander flopped down, making sure he 
landed mostly on Spike. 
  It didn?t seem to discourage him at all; Spike just 
pulled him closer.

?What are you doing?? Xander asked, watching Graham 
unlock the door.

?I?m getting all the foreplay out of the way.  Once 
Riley goes on his merry 
way, I?m going to have mine.?  Spike slid his hands 
under Xander?s shirt and 
stroked his stomach.

Xander considered protesting, but Spike did have a 
good point.  In light of 
all the interruptions, they really shouldn?t waste any 
time.

Riley entered the apartment with a grin on his face.  
?She talked to me!?

Graham shut the door behind him.  ?Without kicking 
your ass??

?No violence.?  Riley slowed down as he caught sight 
of Xander and Spike.  
?Hi.?

?So what happened?? Xander asked.  He smiled as Graham 
walked over and 
joined them on the couch, leaning back heavily against 
him.  He accepted 
Graham?s weight and gleeful hoped that Spike got a 
little squished.  Just 
because.

Riley stared at them, but continued with his story.  
?She was surprised and 
she wasn?t happy to me, but she was willing to talk to 
me.?  He paced around 
the room as he spoke, punching his fist into his open 
palm.  ?It was weird 
talking to her after so long.  Weird, but good.  It 
was so good to see her 
again.  She looks tired, but she still talked to me 
and she wants to see me 
again.?  He stopped in and drew in a deep breath.  
?She wants to see me 
again.?

?Ri, that?s great,? Graham said.

Xander nodded.  ?It is.  I?m happy for you.  I?m happy 
for her, too.  I 
think you two can make this work.?

Riley waved a finger in their direction.  ?And, uh, 
how about you??  He 
stared at the way all of them were sitting on the 
couch.

Graham smiled.  ?We?re thinking that this is going to 
work out, too.?

?And what is this?  If I can ask.?

?This is me and Xander...and me and Spike.?  Graham 
held up his hand to stop 
Riley from speaking.  ?I know, all right?  It?s not 
something that I ever 
imagined but it?s making me happy.?

?Graham, are they making you accept this?  Some sort 
of condition of being 
with Xander??

Xander started to sit up.  ?I wouldn?t do that!? he 
objected.

Graham soothed him with a caressing hand on his cheek, 
then turned back to 
Riley.  ?I wouldn?t let that happen.  This is what I 
want.  Some of it?s 
just what I didn?t want to admit to myself.?

Riley stared hard at his friend.  ?You?re sure??

?As I?ve ever been of anything.?

Xander wrapped his arms around Graham?s waist and 
nuzzled at the crook of 
his heck and shoulder.  ?Thank you,? he murmured, 
feeling honored that 
Graham was willing to stand up for them.

Riley nodded slowly.  ?If you?re sure and this will 
make you happy, then I?m 
behind you.  Anything you need, right??

?Same here, man.?  Graham stared at him.  ?You know 
that.?

Riley smiled a little.  ?So I guess I?ll be heading 
home alone tonight, 
then??

Graham nodded.  ?Yeah.  I?ll catch up with you 
tomorrow.?

Xander wriggled out from between Graham and Spike and 
followed Riley to the 
door.  He met the blond man?s gaze squarely.  ?I won?t 
hurt him,? he said 
quietly.

Riley flashed a crooked half-smile at him.  ?I won?t 
let you,? he said just 
as quietly.

Xander nodded his understanding and closed the door 
behind Riley.  He turned 
around and found two avid blue gazes raking over him.  
He leaned back 
against the door, weakened by the emotions that swept 
through him.

Terror and hopelessness.  He couldn?t do this.  What 
was he thinking?  This 
was insane.  He was just going to end up hurting them 
and getting his own 
heart torn out in the process.  He had to stop this, 
end it before it turned 
bad.

?Luv??  Spike stood up slowly.  ?You?re heart?s going 
a mile a minute.?

?Nothing,? Xander said.  ?Nothing.  I?m just tired all 
over again.  I?m 
going to go back to bed and see you tomorrow, OK??  He 
bolted for the 
bedroom but he wasn?t faster than Spike.

The vampire blocked the doorway and grabbed him by his 
upper arms.  ?What 
happened??

?Nothing,? Xander said, unable to meet his penetrating 
gaze.

Warm hands on his back startled him.  ?It?s not real, 
Xander.?  Graham?s 
voice was soft in his ear.  ?It?s the Cynon, 
remember??

?It feels real,? Xander said uncertainly.  It was so 
strong.  Could it 
really not be real?

Spike cradled his face in his hands.  ?Xan, you need 
to calm down.  You 
can?t go back to bed.  You need to eat something 
first.?

Graham?s hands stroked up and down his arms.  ?Sit 
back down on the couch.  
Eat.  Then go back to bed.  Give the fear some time to 
pass.  Give yourself 
time to get control.?

Xander closed his eyes.  He could remember deciding to 
trust them, could 
remember how right that felt and wished that he could 
feel it again.  It 
seemed very far away just then.  He nodded shakily.  
?All right.?  He 
allowed himself to be lead back over the couch.

?We?ll get you past this,? Spike promised, sitting 
close to him while Graham 
headed for the kitchen.  ?It?s going to get easier.  
It?s going to get 
better.?  He reached out and took Xander?s hand, 
petting it.

Xander tried to focus on the sensation of Spike?s 
gentle touch as a way to 
keep the fear at bay and it worked.  He managed to 
stay on the couch long 
enough for Graham to finish making sandwiches, managed 
to stay long enough 
to eat.  After he was done the fear remained, but it 
was manageable.  
Barely.  He put his plate of the coffee table.  ?Now 
what??

?Now you go take shower,? Graham said.

?And when you?re done, you?ll go back to bed with us 
holding you for the 
rest of the night.?  Spike stared at him seriously.  
?I?m not going 
anywhere, luv.?

?Never leaving again,? Graham added.

Xander summoned up a smile.  He still felt freaked out 
and half ready to 
run, but he knew he didn?t have to.  They had to love 
him if they were 
putting up with him.

They had to love him if they were getting even more 
protective than Willow.
?Sounds like a plan,? he said.  He got up and walked 
into the bathroom.  A 
shower actually sounded very tempting and he was soon 
under the hot spray, 
finally feeling clean for the first time in a long 
time.  When he got out, 
Graham and Spike were waiting for him in the bedroom, 
stripped down for 
sleeping.

?Sleep now?? he asked.  He laughed nervously.  ?I 
guess I?m Cave Xander 
tonight.?

?So long as you?re here,? Graham said.

?This goes at the pace we all need,? Spike added.  
?Even if it is a bleeding 
crawl.?

?I can handle crawling,? Graham agreed.

?Maybe I?ll be up to walking tomorrow,? Xander 
suggested.  He climbed into 
bed, feeling incredibly awkward.  There was too much 
attention focused on 
him.  It made him feel jumpy.  Of course if he jumped, 
the two men would 
just jump with him and that would maybe wake up the 
neighbors and he really 
was tired again and not ready for a fight.

And he was babbling in his head.  ?I have to go to 
sleep now.?

Spike spooned up close behind him, while Graham wormed 
his way half-under 
him.  Gentle kisses pressed his eyes closed as careful 
hands soothed away 
the lingering tension in his frame.  He felt too wound 
up to really sleep, 
feared that he would just lay there all night, wound 
up tight.  The kisses 
and the hands slowly worked an elemental magic on him, 
lulling away the fear 
and worry.  Surrounded by comfort and love, he fell 
asleep.

*****

Part 22/24

Graham leaned back against a tall headstone, taking a 
break from the 
killing.  Xander and Spike were doing just fine 
without him; the little gang 
of vampires they had come across had been quickly 
reduced to only two 
survivors.  Xander was in the final process of 
maneuvering his opponent out 
of position so he could end the fight with his stake, 
while Spike was 
blatantly playing with the one he faced.  Graham 
watched appreciatively as 
the two men fought, enjoying the sight of their bodies 
moving with deadly 
grace as they finished off their opponents.

Life was good and it was getting better.  His request 
to be released from 
the Initiative been approved and he was now the proud 
owner of a generous 
post-service scholarship that he intended to use at 
the university next 
fall.  Riley had left the service as well and from 
what he told Graham, he 
was slowly on his way to reconciling with Buffy.  
Graham was happy for his 
friend, but even better was what was happening between 
him, Xander, and 
Spike.

They were still moving at what felt like an 
excruciatingly slow pace, but it 
was necessary.  Xander was still trying to shake off 
the Cynon?s influence, 
and even a week after visiting the demon the effects 
still lingered.  Graham 
was horrified by this; he hadn?t understood what 
Xander was going through 
every time he went to make a deal with the demon.  If 
the terror of 
rejection was lingering this long, how long had Xander 
struggled with 
feelings of depression or loneliness or loss each time 
the Cynon had 
demanded them?  It was the realization of how shaken 
Xander was that made 
the waiting possible.

It was more than a little maddening.  He loved Xander 
and wanted him 
fiercely.  One moment, Xander would be laughing and 
kissing him, obviously 
as eager as Graham was to take things further.  A few 
moments later, Xander 
would be withdrawn and quiet, certain that Spike and 
Graham were both about 
to walk out and leave him alone forever.  The periods 
of depression were 
coming farther and farther apart now and they didn?t 
last very long, but as 
long as they lingered the relationship was stalled in 
limbo.  Graham was 
ready to finally make love to Xander and was sure 
Spike was as well, but the 
time wasn?t right.  Graham had talked to Riley about 
it, wanting the benefit 
of his friend?s training in psychology.  Everything 
Riley told him meshed 
perfectly with what Graham felt:  so long as Xander 
was filled with doubt, 
they couldn?t push anything.  They had to wait for 
Xander?s mind and heart 
to be free of the Cynon?s influence, or else he?d 
never be able to trust the 
love that they shared.

The sight of Xander killing his opponent brought 
Graham back to the present. 
  He grinned widely as Xander brushed dust off his 
sleeves.  Xander grinned 
back at him and walked easily into his arms, claiming 
a kiss as he reward 
for killing the vampire.  Graham was more than happy 
to reward him, pulling 
Xander close and using his height to his advantage in 
order to dominate the 
kiss, the taste of the dark-haired man something he 
could never take for 
granted.

?Hey!?  Spike?s objection caused them to end their 
kiss so they could look 
at him.  ?What about me?? the vampire asked.  ?I 
killed one, too.?

Graham unwrapped one of his arms from around Xander 
and reached out to grab 
Spike and pull him in for a kiss.  It wasn?t like 
kissing Xander at all:  
Spike was cool and powerful and utterly confident.  It 
wasn?t better or 
worse; it was just different.  He leaned away from 
Spike with a lingering 
smile.  That was one benefit of all this waiting:  he 
and Spike had moved 
beyond mutual lust.  He wasn?t sure it was love, yet, 
but it was getting 
closer and closer to it.

He rolled his eyes as Spike grabbed Xander and pinned 
him up against a 
tombstone.  That was one thing that definitely hadn?t 
changed:  both of them 
were utterly in love with Xander.  He watched for a 
few moments, then 
forcibly separated them.  ?We?re in a cemetery,? he 
said.

Spike looked utterly unrepentant, but Xander nodded.  
?Right.  Ew.?  He 
reached out and slid a caressing hand over Graham?s 
ass.  ?Just wait till I 
get you two home.?

Graham shared a quick assessing glance with Spike.  
Xander had been 
complaining more and more about the slow pace they?d 
all agreed to follow.  
It had been nearly a full day since his last attack of 
terror over 
rejection.  The Cynon?s influence might actually be 
gone.  Graham didn?t 
want to get his hopes up over this if he was wrong, 
but Xander?s complaints 
could be a sign that he was finally back to being in 
control of himself.

Graham was about to suggest that maybe they should 
head back to Xander? 
apartment and test the idea out when his cell rang.  
He answered quickly.  
?Yeah??

//Nice way to answer the phone,// Riley chided.  
//Wait, I was interrupting 
anything, was I?  Don?t tell me if I was, just tell me 
you can?t talk.//

?Ri, shut up.  What do you want??

//Buffy just called me.  She?d tried to get a hold of 
Xander earlier and 
wanted me to see if I could find him through you.//

?Is something wrong?? Graham held the phone a little 
away from his ear so 
Spike and Xander, who had drawn near, could hear as 
well.

//I don?t think so.  She just said that she wants him 
to come to her 
house.//

Xander grabbed the phone.  ?Riley, get off the line so 
I can call her.?

Riley laughed.  //She?s right here.//

There was a pause, then Buffy?s voice came over the 
line.  //Xander?//

?Buffy, what wrong??  There was concern bordering on 
panic in his voice.  
Graham took a step toward him, putting his hand on his 
shoulder in a gesture 
of comfort.

//Nothing.  Nothing, I promise you.  I want you to 
come to the house as soon 
as you can.//

?I?m on my way now,? Xander promised.  ?I?ll see you 
in a few.?  He hung up 
the phone and handed it back to Graham.  ?We have to 
go.?

Spike looked slightly mutinous, but he nodded.  ?Let?s 
go, then.?

Graham shook his head as he followed Xander.  This 
could get ugly.  Spike 
still didn?t like Buffy all that much, although he 
seemed to be growing 
fonder of Willow as time passed.  He just hoped Spike 
kept himself under 
control.  If he instigated a confrontation with Buffy, 
Graham and Xander 
would be forced to interfere to make sure neither one 
of them were hurt.

An all out brawl was really going to be a mood-killer, 
and Graham had plans 
for the rest of the night.

They made it to the Summers house quickly and Xander 
ran up the steps and 
banged on the door.  The door was opened by a man 
Graham had never met.  He 
recognized him from briefings, though.

?Giles!? Xander said.  ?What?s going on?  Is everyone 
all right??  He looked 
closely at the other man.  ?Are *you* all right?  You 
look awful.?

Xander was right.  Tactless, but right.  Giles looked 
as though he hadn?t 
slept for a week, the lines around his face deep, 
drawn.  For all that, 
there was a clear light of triumph in his eyes and a 
sense of satisfaction 
intermixed with his weariness.

The older man smiled at Xander.  ?I?m fine,? he said.  
?Nothing is wrong.  
In fact, we have some very good news for you.?  His 
brow furrowed.  ?Spike, 
what are you doing here?  And this is??

Xander placed one hand on Spike?s shoulder and the 
other on Graham?s arm.  
?Spike?s here with me, Giles.  And this is Graham.  
He?s a friend.  He?s 
been helping us.?

?Graham!?  Riley?s voice came from the living room.  
?Xander, Spike.  Glad 
you could make it, finally.  You?re the last ones.  
Willow and Tara beat 
you, even.?

Willow and Tara followed him out of the kitchen.  
Willow walked over and 
looked Xander over carefully, obviously checking up on 
him.  ?We only beat 
you by a few minutes,? she assured them.  ?And maybe 
now that you?re here, 
Giles will finally spill about what?s going on.?

?I?ll tell,? Buffy said, surprising them all as she 
came down the stairs.  
She looked even more tired than Giles, but she was 
smiling widely.  ?Dawn is 
healed.  Giles figured it out.  She?s going to be all 
right.?

Xander whooped even as Willow clapped and Riley ran up 
the stairs to embrace 
Buffy.  Xander wrapped his arms around Spike in a 
fierce embrace, and Graham 
could see Spike?s face.  The vampire looked enormously 
relieved, reminding 
Graham of comments the dark-eyed man had made about 
Spike?s friendship with 
Dawn.  Then it was his turn for a hug as Xander 
released Spike and grabbed 
him.  Graham could feel all the pent up fear leaving 
Xander in that embrace 
and realized how much worry for Dawn the other man had 
been hiding.  This 
made him return the hug as tightly as he dared, glad 
that Xander and Spike 
could both stop worrying now.

Xander released him and grabbed Willow, laughing with 
her before stealing 
Buffy away from Riley so he could lift her off her 
feet.  Everyone was 
celebrating, sharing hugs and joy and relief.  Graham 
didn?t know Dawn, but 
he could see how much she meant to everyone.  Even 
Spike, who pretended 
indifference to everyone except him and Xander was 
looking damn near 
ecstatic.  Graham knew no one else was going to hug 
the vampire, so he 
helped himself to an armful of Spike.  He got a pinch 
to his ass for his 
trouble, but that came with a fully honest smile from 
Spike, so it was worth 
it.  Graham stifled a laugh as he watched Xander force 
Giles into a brief 
hug, then turn on Tara and pick her up and swing her 
around.  After that, 
Xander was back beside him and Spike, grinning like a 
madman.  ?So when can 
we go see Dawn?? he asked.  ?It?s been just about 
forever, it feels like.?

Back in the circle of Riley?s arms, Buffy shook her 
head slowly, the smile 
slipping off her face.  ?I think we?ve got something 
to talk about first,? 
she said, looking significantly from Xander over to 
Spike and Graham.

Graham froze.  She?d noticed the hugs, then, and 
wasn?t going to dismiss 
them to overexuberance.  Everyone in the room went 
silent as they waited for 
an answer.  Willow?s eyes were wide and she held 
Tara?s hand tightly, while 
Giles stood up straighter.

The blue-eyed man wasn?t sure what to do.  They hadn?t 
really discussed 
telling anyone about the relationship; they?d had 
enough to worry about just 
among themselves to get that far in their thinking.  
He knew he wasn?t 
ashamed of anything:  he loved Xander and he was 
falling for Spike, and that 
was all the explanation that he owed anyone.  He knew 
Spike felt the same 
way.  Hell, the vampire would probably rub the others? 
faces in it, just to 
see them squirm.

Xander glanced over at him and Graham could read the 
indecision in Xander?s 
eyes.  He knew the dark-haired man well enough to 
guess what he was 
thinking.  Xander didn?t want to upset his friends, 
but he was a basically 
honest person so lying wouldn?t sit well with him.

Graham decided to do the talking for Xander.  The 
other man would no doubt 
yell at him for it later, but that was fine.  If he 
took the attention off 
Xander, then he?d be the one to take the brunt of any 
possible abuse.  If he 
could shield Xander from that, then any scolding that 
got him would be well 
worth it.  ?I?m in love with Xander,? he said simply.

Buffy?s gaze cut over to Xander.  ?Xander??

The dark-eyed man nodded.  ?It?s true, Buff.  And I?m 
in love with him.?

Buffy blinked a couple of times, taking a few moments 
to absorb the 
information.  She nodded slowly.  ?All right.  I?ll 
expect details later,? 
she said with a steely look at Xander, ?but I can 
accept.  So what?s the 
story with Spike??

Graham shrugged.  ?He?s got a great ass and I think 
I?m falling for him, 
too.?  He didn?t want to have to explain things he was 
still figuring out 
for himself.  The flippancy just sort of slipped out; 
continued exposure to 
Xander and Spike was definitely affecting him.

Buffy stepped away from Riley, her eyes hard and her 
hands curled into loose 
fists.  She looked pissed.  Willow took a step forward 
and her eyes were 
*scary*, dark and determined and looking as though 
they could look right 
through him.

Maybe being flip hadn?t been the best way to go.

*****