Xander fiddled with the radio in his car, searching
for a station to help
keep him awake on his drive home.  Spike hadn?t shown
up at the site, so he
didn?t have anyone to talk to.  Settling on Linkin
Park, he sang along
quietly as he drove.  Work was going to slow down for
the next few weeks as
inspectors moved through the area, doubling checking
that everything was up
to code, so he was looking forward to the coming
half-days.  He was going to
get some much needed sleep.

Just not while he was driving.  He turned up the
volume.  He had to stay
awake; there was more work to do tonight.  He and
Spike needed to finish
cleaning out the nest of fledges infesting the Quiet
Rest Cemetery.  They?d
gotten some of them the night before, but Xander knew
there were more, and
he knew where they were hiding.  They needed to get
rid of them before they
had a chance to multiply.

He parked his car and walked up the stairs, hoping
that Spike would be home.
  He liked coming home and having someone be there.
He liked coming home
and having *Spike* be there.  He recognized that
thought as dangerous, but
he couldn?t help it.  Spike had become a friend, a
good friend that Xander
looked forward to seeing.  The animosity between them
had disappeared, its
only lingering trace remaining in the bickering they
engaged in as a matter
of habit.  The heat was gone from their words, though;
the battle of words
was now just a game.  Over time, Xander had come to
appreciate Spike?s
biting humor, his eagerness to join in a fight, his
clear, blunt way of
looking at situations, the way his black jeans hugged
his ass...

Xander shook his head.  That thought went beyond
dangerous.  It was an
unauthorized thought, one he didn?t want to have, and
it kept coming back
again and again.  He paused outside the door, taking a
moment to gather
himself before unlocking it and walking inside.  He
opened his mouth to
speak, but didn?t get the chance.

?Save me the Ricky Ricardo bit,? Spike called from the
couch.  ?I hate that
damn show.?

Xander closed his mouth and grinned.  ?But that?s why
it?s so much fun to
do.?

The blond man raised two fingers in an obscene
gesture.  Xander ignored him
and dropped his tools by the door.  He grabbed a clean
pair of jeans and a
t-shirt and headed for the bathroom, needing to take a
shower and wash away
the sweat and dirt from the day at work.  He washed
quickly, hoping that if
they got out on the streets early, he?d be able to
come back and get a
little more sleep.

Exiting the bathroom, he looked around the apartment
for Spike.  The vampire
was in the kitchen, watching two pans he had on the
stove.  Xander wandered
over.  ?Double helpings tonight??

?One of them?s for you.?  Spike stirred one of them
with a spoon.

Xander watched in horrified fascination as the thick
red liquid swirled
around in the pan.  ?Please tell me you?re using two
spoons.?

The look Spike shot him was gleefully evil, and sexy
as hell.

Another unauthorized thought!  Xander backed away from
Spike and busied
himself by rooting around in the fridge, searching for
something to drink.
This situation was bad and it was getting worse.
Xander could get around
lust.  Lust, he was used to.  He could still vividly
remember being subject
to the whims of his hormones when he was a teenager,
when the sight of a
girl?s bare leg or a boy?s muscled arm would send heat
and embarrassment
coursing through him in equal measure.  He was a
little more in control now,
and had learned to live with the sudden rush of desire
that he felt when he
looked at Spike.  He used to be able to control it by
reminding himself what
Spike was; it was hard to check out a guy when you
were concentrating on not
letting him kill you.  Now that he had become a friend
and the next best
thing to a roommate, Xander found that it was more and
more difficult to
ignore the lust he felt toward the vampire.

It was more and more difficult to ignore that lust
growing into something
deeper and even more frightening.  Familiarity was
supposed to breed
contempt, but in Xander?s case the exact opposite was
happening.  He
couldn?t do this.  It was stupid and futile and
dangerous.  There was no way
Spike could ever feel the same way.  Xander was only
going to get himself
hurt and he?d probably end up destroying the
friendship they?d begun to
build between them.  He had to figure out a way to
stop this.

He settled on a bottle of juice and straightened,
turning in time to see
Spike pour the contents of each pan into separate
mugs:  cream of something
soup and blood.  ?You?d better have used separate
spoons,? Xander muttered,
twisting the cap off his juice.

Spike smirked as he handed him his mug.  ?Drink up.?

As Xander sipped at his soup he realized how much his
life had changed.  A
month ago he never would have allowed Spike anywhere
near his apartment, and
certainly wouldn?t have invited him to enter.  Now he
looked forward to
having the vampire in the house; the other man?s
presence was warming him
even more than the soup.  Xander sipped at the soup,
hiding his smile behind
the rim of the mug.  Spike wasn?t an enemy any longer.
Now he was a friend,
practically living with Xander, and every day Xander
feared him a little
less and fell in love with him a little more.

Xander choked on his soup.  Bad brain!  That thought
was so unauthorized
that his brain was now committing crimes as far as he
was concerned.  There
was no way he was falling in love with Spike.  He was
had too much going on
in his life to be making that colossal of a mistake.
His head began to ache
as his thoughts swirled in tightening circles of
denial and confusion.

He was grateful when the doorbell rang, eager for a
distraction from his
thoughts.  He swallowed the rest of his soup and
headed for the door.  He
had no idea who it could be.  Willow and Tara should
still be too worn out
to even think about moving beyond the campus.  It
wouldn?t be Buffy or Giles
- they were still communicating solely by telephone,
so focused on their
task that nothing else could catch their attention.
He peered through the
peep hole, not willing to just open his door.  He
might be suicidally
foolish when it came to his love life, but no way was
he going to just open
the door and wait for something to take his head off.

Although that would certainly teach his brain a
lesson.

He swore as soon as he realized what he was seeing.
?Spike, maybe you?d
better head out the back way.?

?What is it??

?Riley.  Riley Finn and he?s got someone with him.?
Xander turned around
and glared at Spike.  ?Why are you still here?  I
think the guy with him was
a part of the Initiative.?

The vampire shook his head.  ?Why don?t you open the
door??

?Spike, what the hell is Riley doing back in town with
the Initiative?  They
could be here for you.?  Xander fought down the panic
he felt at the
thought.  ?You need to get out of here.?

?I?m not going anywhere, pet.?  Spike?s posture was
one of complete
nonchalance, but his fingers moved restlessly,
telegraphing his readiness
for action.  He noticed Xander?s hesitation and
smiled.  ?It?ll be all
right.?

Xander knew it was crazy, but he believed him.  He
nodded and opened up the
door.

Riley?s smile was definitely nervous.  ?Hey, Xander.?

?Riley.?  He didn?t open the door all the way and
blocked the view to his
apartment with his body.  He couldn?t help it; as long
as he was able, he
was going to try to protect Spike.  ?Is there
something I can help you
with??

Riley nodded.  ?I think there?s a way we can help each
other.  Can we come
in??

?Sure.?  Xander stepped back to allow Riley and the
man with him to enter.
He hadn?t known the other man well, but he?d come to
like him.  He wanted to
think that he could trust Riley but he couldn?t be
sure.  Riley had gone
back to the Initiative, leaving Buffy and the rest of
them behind.

He watched Riley and the other man enter.  Neither of
them seemed especially
surprised to see Spike.  The vampire bared his teeth
in a parody of smile
and Riley nodded toward him.  Xander used the
opportunity presented by the
two men looking around his apartment to study Riley?s
companion.  He
recognized the other man as a member of the Initiative
and a friend of
Riley, but he knew him from other places, too.  The
blue-eyed man had shown
up at quite a few of the jobs Xander had held in the
past year, ordering
burgers and ice cream and nachos from him.  Xander had
noticed him because
of his strong handsome features and intense blue eyes.
He?d nursed a secret
fantasy that the other man had come to all those
places just to see him.  It
had been a nice dream to fall into and help pass the
time during different
mind-numbingly boring jobs, but he knew in reality
that the guy was probably
just addicted to junk food.  He had to work out quite
a bit in order to
compensate...Xander felt the old rush of attraction,
just as strong as ever,
wash over him all over again.

If he didn?t gain control of his libido soon, he was
going to have to call
on Willow to do some sort of temporary neutering
spell.

?What are you doing back in town?? Xander asked as
Riley and Graham finally
settled down into the two chairs.  He sat down on the
arm of the couch and
was conscious of Spike coming to stand beside and
slightly behind him.

To his credit, Riley answered immediately with no hint
of deception.  ?We
were told that the situation here had destabilized and
that we were needed
to restore order.  By the time we got here, things
were almost back to being
under control and the mission changed to trying to
figure out what had been
done and how we could help to maintain order.?

Xander nodded.  ?Things were getting bad, but Willow
and Tara cast a spell
that helped a lot.  Spike and I have been doing clean
up ever since.?

?If you?ll let us, we want to help with that.?  Riley
hesitated.  ?What made
the situation go bad??

Spike?s hand pressed lightly against the center of
Xander?s back, a wordless
gesture of support.  Xander drew in a shuddering
breath.  ?I don?t know how
much you?ve heard.  A few months ago Joyce got sick.
Buffy?s mom,? he added
for the sake of Riley?s friend.  ?She?d seem to get
better for a little
while and then things would get bad again.  Just when
we thought she was
getting better, she died.?  His throat closed up and
he couldn?t speak for a
moment.  He could still feel the loss of Joyce ripping
through him.  To him,
she?d represented home and family and love and
stability; she was home, the
kind of home he someday hoped to make for himself.
When she died, a lot of
that hope died as well.

Spike?s hand moved in soothing circles, a point of
contact that helped
Xander to focus on finishing the story.  He cleared
his throat, but his
voice still came out rough.  ?After Joyce died, Buffy
took over caring for
Dawn.  Her sister.  It looked like we might be able to
find a way to juggle
everything so that things would come out right.  Then
Dawn got sick.?

?What?s wrong with her?? Riley asked.

?We don?t know.  Buffy and Giles are concentrating on
trying to find out.?

?That?s why she hasn?t been patrolling.?

?The rest of us have been trying to take up the
slack.?

?What?s he doing here?? Riley asked, nodding toward
Spike.

Xander didn?t have to look at Spike to know the
gesture he was making was
obscene.  ?Spike?s helping.  Without him, Sunnydale
might have been a
smoking crater by the time you got here instead of its
lovely demon-infested
self.?  He jerked his chin toward Riley?s friend.
?What?s he doing here??

?He?s here to help, too.  Xander, this is Graham
Miller.  I worked with him
in the Initiative.  He?s a good friend.?

Graham.  Xander now had a name to go with his
fantasies.  He stood up at the
same time as Graham and reached out to shake his hand.
The other man?s hand
was warm, his grip firm.  Xander wanted to pretend
that it lingered, but he
knew that was a combination of his own doing and
wishful thinking instead of
reality.  ?So now what?? Xander asked.

?We want to help, if you?ll let us,? Graham said.

Xander hesitated.  He and Spike could used some help.
Even with reduced
hours coming up he wasn?t going to be able to keep up
the pace of patrolling
and work for much longer.  It was risky; he wasn?t
certain that he could
trust them completely.  He looked at Spike and read
concern in the other
man?s blue eyes.  If he and Spike were careful, they
could keep the secret
of Dawn?s nature hidden.  With a little more effort,
they could probably
hide the arrangement Xander had made as well.  ?I?d be
glad of help.  Can we
all agree to bury the hatchet and work together??

Graham and Riley nodded.  Spike shifted restlessly.
?Just so long as it?s
understood that the first time you two make a wrong
step, I?ll find a way to
bury that hatchet in your heads.?

Riley flushed and rose to his feet.  Xander held up a
hand to forestall his
reply.  ?We can take the bickering on the road.  We?ve
got a nest of fledges
to clear out tonight, so I don?t want to waste any
more time.?  Xander
waited for everyone?s acknowledgement and geared up
before leading the way
out of the apartment.

As they walked toward the cemetery, Spike stayed
closed to him.  ?The
fledges are going to be in the same place we found
them last night,? the
vampire said.

Xander shot him a grateful look.  Spike was making it
seem as though he were
the one that knew where to find the demons they hunted
night after night.
He was protecting Xander?s secret.  Xander gave in to
the warmth that filled
him and smiled his thanks at the vampire.  He received
a smile back in
return, and Spike moved even closer to him.  The
vampire?s presence made it
difficult to talk to Riley or Graham; Spike was always
right there, between
him and the other men, blocking his view of them.  It
was a little awkward,
but Xander liked having him close.  If nothing else,
it was stopping him
from looking like an idiot in front Graham by babbling
at him.

Once in the cemetery, Xander and Spike led the way to
the place where they?d
encountered the new-made vampires the night before.
Predictable creatures,
those that remained were in the same area.  The
temptation of three humans
proved to be too much for them and the remaining
members of the nest soon
converged on the four of them.

Xander concentrated on keeping fangs out of his neck
as he fended off the
vampires that had chosen to focus on him.  He knew
Riley could take care of
himself and he figured Graham could do the same.  He
trusted that Spike
would be watching his back; the vampire had kept him
alive over the past
weeks, never once abandoning Xander to the demons
they?d faced.  He staked
an overconfident fledge first thing, and then nailed
its indignant buddy.
He ducked quickly as a third ran at him snarling,
bringing one of his stakes
up sharply and spearing it squarely through the chest.
As ash showered down
upon him, he looked around quickly.  Riley and Graham
were each finishing up
their last opponents and Spike was watching him with
worried eyes.

?Are you all right??  The vampire reached out as
thought to touch him, then
aborted the movement and lit a cigarette.

Xander shook his head.  What was he thinking?  Why
would Spike want to touch
him?  ?I?m fine.?  He watched Graham kick his fledge
in the face and follow
through with a smooth thrust with his stake.  His eyes
caught every ripple
of muscle, every graceful, deadly twist.  He jerked
his gaze away as soon as
he realized he was staring.  The last thing he needed
to do was alienate
Graham.

As Graham and Riley checked on each other, Spike
leaned in and asked, ?Where
to next, pet??  His lips almost brushed Xander?s ear
as he spoke.

Repressing a delighted shudder, Xander shook his head.
?Nowhere.?  He
tapped his head.  ?I?m empty.  We?re going to have to
go visit him again.?

Spike scowled, his jaw tight with tension.
?Tomorrow,? he said firmly.

Xander acquiesced easily.  He wasn?t all that eager to
pay the visit, but it
had to be done.  ?You?ll come with me??

Spike blinked.  ?Of course.?  He sounded surprised
that Xander had even
asked.

Xander resisted the urge to smack himself upside the
head.  He really needed
to talk to Willow about that hormone-suppressant
spell.  He was really
beginning to imagine things.  He watched Riley and
Graham walk over to join
them.  Now he just needed to get home without looking
like a complete idiot
in front of Spike or Graham.  Watching Graham?s
confident walk and small
half-smile and feeling Spike?s leather-clad shoulder
brush against his, he
knew he was in trouble.

*****