So, you wake up and what you sense is that there is this big source of heat lying next to you, along side you, pressing against you, making parts of your body much warmer than the other parts, and you take a minute to think -- except that you don't exactly think, cause you just woke up and your brain isn't really working right, but it's like you get these impressions of what's going on. And the first impression that you get is one of total safety, that this is a really safe place to be, and that feels really good, and you're kind of glad that you woke up there, because it's really nice being in a place where you feel safe, because then you're not, like, afraid of things, because it's safe and you feel safe, and a lot of that safe feeling has to do with that source of heat that's lying next to you, and along side of you, and pressing up next to you, and you realize that you have your arm draped over this source of heat, and even though it's summer, and so it's not cold, so you wouldn?t go looking for a source of heat, it still feels really good to have this source of heat under your arm, and lying next to you and along side of you and pressing against you.
So, you wake up, and what you hear is the sound of someone breathing, and you know it's not your own breathing, because even though you know that you make sounds when you breathe, you don't hear them because it's your own breathing, or maybe you do hear them, 'cause you've got ears and you're not deaf or anything and so it must be that you hear your own breathing but you just don't pay any attention to your own breathing, but when it's somebody else's breathing, you pay attention, especially when it's really close to you, and there aren't that many other sounds, because it's really early in the morning, and not a lot of people are awake yet, even though you are, even if you really haven't opened your eyes or looked around or anything, and so you listen to the breathing and it's soft and it's regular and it's low and it's one of the nicest sounds you've ever heard, because it's steady and it's strong and it's not too loud, and you lie there and listen to it without opening your eyes or anything and move, you sort of move a little, maybe not even an inch, so your head is closer to that sound, that breathing, and as you do, your head gets closer to that source of heat, and so you kind of realize that the source of heat and the breathing are coming from the same place. And you listen to it and you're really just sort of happy in a content-to-just-be there sort of way, because the breathing just continues and you know its going to keep continuing in the same kind of steady and strong and not-too-loud kind of way.
So, you wake up, and what you become aware of is that this place smells different from where you usually wake up, and it's not a bad thing that it is different, it's just different, and as you smell the scent of the source of heat lying next to you and against you and lying under your arm, you become really aware of how that scent is different than other scents, and somewhere in your brain, you start to tease the scents apart, there's the smell of his deodorant, which is different than yours, and although you've never thought much about how different deodorants smell different, you know that for as long as you live the smell of that deodorant is going to make you think of him, and there's the smell of, well, sex, and there's your smell, which you smell even though it's yours, because, well, you don't smell it all the time, just some of the time, and usually it's when you're at home and all alone, and it's somehow different when it's mixed with the smell of his, which smells more or less the same, but there's like this slight bit of difference, that makes you think that you could pick out his from yours on the sheets, even though, ok, that's more than just a little bit gross. And there's also the smell of his sweat on the sheets, because, ok, it's summer and it was hot last night, but mainly because he was sweating a lot last night before you both collapsed into each other and onto each other, and on top of each other, and you can still smell some of that strong smell as you press your nose just a little closer to that body that's lying next to you and pressing against you and you take in a quiet slow deep breath through your nose and just savor the scent.
So, you wake up and you move a little, and you slowly become aware of where your various arms and legs are, because, ok, it's weird how you usually know where your arms and legs are even when you can't see them or touch them with your hands or anything, you're just kind of aware of where they are, except when they fall asleep on you, and then they can trick you into thinking that they're somewhere else, but when you first wake up, it can take you a minute to figure out where they are, and you move your legs, just a little, and that's enough to let you know where they are without having to look or anything, and the same with your arms, and as you move your arm just a little, the one that's lying across the source of heat and of the breathing with the great smell next to you, you brush against his skin, and you remember that feel of that skin, how it feels different than your own skin, how it seems tighter on his body than yours is on yours, how the hard spongy feel of his muscles seems to be right under the surface of the skin, like the skin has been stretched taut over them.
And as you slowly move arms and legs, just a little, you also become aware that some of your own muscles are sore, and some are sorer than others, and you start to remember some of the things that you did last night as you feel the soreness in fairly odd places, but then you did put your body in some fairly odd positions, but when you did that it felt like it was the absolutely right thing to do, and as you remember a couple of those positions you smile at yourself, a little embarrassed and a lot impressed that you actually did them, because you did a whole lot of things last night that you had never done before, and that you had never known that you even wanted to do them, except that at another level as soon as the invitation came, as soon as the opportunity came, you knew that it was right, absolutely right, more right than anything you've ever done before, and your body took over, and you gave into it, grinding and riding and stretching and reaching far over to touch his face as he looks up at you with that look of longing in his eyes, as you grind as deeply into him as you can, and you feel his hands exploring caressing your body, and holding on to your body, and gripping you tightly, and you are seeing him as excited about what you're doing to him as you are, and a part of your brain is telling you that he can't possibly be, because you can?t believe that anything could be as exciting as what you are doing, but you look in his eyes and you see it in his eyes, and you know that this is doing as much to him as it is to you, and that only makes what you are doing all the more exciting, even though you wouldn?t have believed that it could be more exciting that what you felt before you looked into his eyes, but you did look, and it is.
So, you wake up and you open your eyes and you look down your own arm, following it down to where it's lying across his chest, slowly rising as falling as he lies there breathing and giving off heat and smelling great, and you can't help but smile as you look at him, and at his body, 'cause you remember touching every square inch of that body, you remember tasting every square inch, you remember how it felt, how it tasted, and now you see it in the morning light, and you can combine the memories of how it felt and how it tasted with how it looks, and you move your hand gently against his chest, just barely move it so you can combine the sensation of that touch with the sight of the that body. And you're glad that your brain isn't awake enough to tell you that this has got to be a fluke, that this guy can't possibly really be interested in you, except that he made it absolutely perfectly clear in word and deed last night that he is, and here you are touching that body as he sleeps. And you don?t want to move your arm too much, because you might accidentally wake him, even though you know that once he wakes up there will be his voice, and the way he moves, so effortless and easy, and that smile?
So, you wake up and raise you head slightly, maybe an inch or an inch and a half, because you want to look at him, because you've got to see his face, you need to see his face, and you just watch his face as he lies there sleeping, and you just look at that face, impressed by how relaxed and untense and peaceful it is, and how there is nothing of the tightness of the jaw that he wears in the day, and you look at how relaxed his jaw is, and how his jawline kind of leads to his ear and you really want to touch the ear even though you really don?t know why the ear as opposed to the rest of him, which you really wouldn't mind touching either, and you know that it's just because you're looking at the ear, and you're kinda aware that you're pretty much awake and that you have this kind of silly smile on your face, and you can't remember ever having woken up feeling like this before, and you don't want to move and you don't want to breathe and you don't want to make a sound, because you don't want anything to happen that might change the way you're feeling right now, because you want to feel this way forever.
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