The absolutely fabulous Dolores Labouchere, for beta-ing the language
lesson, and for adding a few important terms, and for the QAF discussions
(cheers, petal!)

Maybe He's Canadian, 22: The Buffster

Riley got out of bed and started to do his push-ups.  Buffy, who had donned
his robe for a quick trip to the bathroom, watched him with a sly grin.
After about eight, Riley stopped, rolled over and just sat on the floor,
leaning against the bed.  He sighed.

"What's *wrong*, Riley?'

"Nothing."

"When you don't do the full regulation set of however many it is,
something's wrong."

Riley looked up at her.

"This have to do with your big talk with your nameless buddy last night,
which seemed to require drinking lots of beer before you could call me?"

"Yeah."  Riley nodded.   "Ya know how you know someone really well, and then
it turns out that you really don't know 'em, or OK, you do, but not as well
as you thought you did?"

"Uh, maybe."  Buffy sat on the floor beside Riley.
"This one's got you spooked, huh?"

"A little. I mean it's OK.  It'll just take some getting used to."

Buffy nodded, "Anything hell-mouthy here?"

"No, nothing like that.  It's more like when Willow didn't tell you about
Tara."

Buffy nodded.  "So, is it the keeping secrets thing or the whole other life
thing that we're dealing with here?  Cause those are the issues, right?"

"Yeah.  No.  I mean, I don't know.  I like him.  I really like him.  He's
just this great guy.  And we've been buds for, well, as long as I've been
buds with anybody."

"But?"

"I just thought I knew him is all.  Really well.  And it turns out I don't."

"Cause he likes guys?"

Riley startled.  His head snapped round to look at her.

"The Willow and Tara thing *was* kinda obvious."

Riley sighed and nodded.

"And this was the big news you had to discuss with Graham?"

"Hey!  I never said who!"

"No, you just said your best friend, who you've known longer than anybody."

"I just suck at this secret thing, don't I?"

"Pretty much, yeah."  Buffy shot him a sweet grin.

Riley had to smile back.  Then he sighed.
"So what do I do?"

"That depends, cause if you're talking about you and Graham getting together
and buying a condo in San Francisco, I might have issues."

Riley looked at her and laughed.  "No it's not that, he's got the boyfriend
thing covered."

"Yeah?  Go Graham!  That been going on for a while?"

Riley shook his head.  "They just got together like two weeks ago.  His
first real boyfriend, according to him."

That two weeks ago' triggered something for Buffy.  She spoke aloud, trying
to remember,
"Funny, Graham came by my place about two weeks ago, he seemed really
nervous about something.  There was small talk and surreptitious checking ot
of my room.  He said he
was looking for you.  I did notice later that someone had torn off a corner
of page from my notebook, about the size you'd write a ... and it was
*right* next to my list of phone numbers!"

Buffy mentally went down the list of numbers.  Whose phone number could
Graham have copied down?  There was only one possibility.

"Giles!"  Graham is dating *Giles*?"

Riley stared at her for a second and then broke into a fit of laughter, and
rolled over on his side, tears streaming down his face he was laughing so
hard.

Buffy thought a minute,  'OK, never mind.  Giles wouldn't go for the
commando-guy type, he would go for more of a book reading guy he could drink
tea with, scoffing at the colonials type.'

Riley had stopped laughing and was lying on the floor, still grinning at
her,  "*Giles*?" he mocked.   Buffy hit him on the arm.  Hard.

"Ouch!"  Riley protested, like he couldn't believe she'd just done that.

That 'ouch' triggered something.  Buffy turned her head towards Riley.  She
screeched incredulously, "*Xander*!" Riley froze.

Buffy stared incredulously at Riley,   "Xander?  No!  Graham is *not* going
out with Xander!"

Riley knew his face had given it away.  The cat was out of the proverbial
bag.  He grinned evilly.
"As far as I can tell, they don't actually go out a lot."

Buffy stared at Riley.  "I *so* can't believe that you weren't going to tell
me!"

"Hey!  Come on!  I promised 'em!"   Riley saw it now, he was right in the
middle of it.  Buffy was mad at him for withholding info, and Graham and
Xander were gonna be mad as soon as they found out he'd let it slip.   Riley
stood up.
"This was really about me and Graham, Xander was just there, in, like, a
boyfriend capacity."

"The *three* of you went out drinking last night!  '*Boyfriend* capacity'!
You are *so* in trouble!"

"OK, I'm just not gonna win here, am I?"

Buffy pulled on the rest of her clothes.

"You can't tell 'em I told ya!"  Riley pleaded.

"Buffy!"  She turned and faced him.  Riley took hold of her shoulders
lightly.   "Look.  This isn't easy for them.  I've seen that.  Last night,
at The Pub, these guys were ready to jump 'em, just for being there."

"*When* were you going to tell me?"

Riley hung his head, and let his arms fall to his side.  "This isn't easy
for me either."

Buffy shook her head, he just didn't get it.  She really thought that she
and Riley had gotten beyond the whole keeping secrets from each other thing.

She walked out before she said something she would regret later.  She walked
by Graham's room.  She started to knock angrily on the door.  What she heard
stopped her cold.  It was muffled but unmistakable, two guys groaning, and
then laughing, then the distinct sound of a slap, and then more groaning.

She practically ran out of Lowell House, and off campus.  She ran aimlessly,
but she realized that her subconscious must have guided her when she found
herself found herself right in front of Giles'.

Buffy sighed and knocked on Giles' door, catching her breath.   There was
rustling, and then the door opened.  Giles in jeans and sweater, mug of tea
in hand.

"Buffy.  Come in."

She entered and went and plopped down on the couch. Giles went in the
kitchen and poured another cup of tea, and brought it out and set in on the
coffee table in front of her.

"Not a vampire activity visit, I take it."

Buffy shook her head.  Then picked up the cup and politely tasted the tea.
She didn't really want it, but English-guy Giles didn't believe that two
human beings could talk without drinking tea.

Giles sat in the chair opposite, and  took another sip of tea.

"Trouble with Riley?  Because, you know, Buffy, these sorts of quarrels are
really to be expected now and again.  The making up part afterwards can be
quite enjoyable, in my experience..."

Buffy cut him off before she heard way more than she wanted about Giles'
experience.
"No, I mean, yes, I just stormed out on him, but that's not it."

Giles nodded.  He knew when not to speak.  He took another sip of tea and
watched Buffy, waiting.

"It's Xander."

Giles sighed, resisting the urge to say 'Again!'.   "What's he done now?"

"He's ... seeing someone."

"Yes, I can see why that would be cause for panic.  I'll check the
chronicles immediately for precedents."

Buffy shot him a you're-abusing-sarcasm look.

"Sorry, do go on."

"And, it's *not* a girl."

Giles suddenly looked serious, and asked carefully, "Is 'it' human?"

Buffy looked at him like he was thick as a post.  "Yes!"

"Ah!  So our Xander is, um, keeping company with another young man?"

Buffy nodded.

Giles sat back, his face half annoyed and half relieved.
"About bloody time!"

Buffy's head snapped up at Giles.  "Huh?  What?  *What!*"

"I can't pretend to know everything about this, Buffy, but I *am* aware when
someone has, shall we say, a school-boy crush on me.  I'm not completely
dense, and I did go to a British all-boys school."

"So you *knew*?"

"... That Xander sometimes has a romantic interest in members of his own
gender?  Well, yes.  It was several years ago, and he seemed to get over it
after a while, although I did have to discourage it a bit roughly, I'm
afraid."

"That's why all the snide comments to Xander..."

"Not the gentlest way to handle it, I'm sure, but it was effective...
Snide?, I don't recall ever being snide."

Buffy had to grin at that.  "That's gotta be selective memory at work,
Giles."

Giles put his mug down on the table, and leaned forward.  Time to get down
to the important questions.
"Have you met the young man in question?"

"Yeah, his name's Graham, one of Riley's friends."

"'Gram'?"  Giles looked puzzled, then brightened, "Oh, 'Graham'" said Giles,
pronouncing the name correctly with two syllables, and suppressing the urge
to ask Buffy if she were ever planning to learn to speak English.
"And is this Graham's a decent sort?"

"Well, yeah.  A really good guy, from what I know of him."

"And the two of them seem to be happy with the ... situation."

"So Riley says."

Giles shrugged his shoulders and leaned back.
"What else is there to ask?"

Buffy thought about it and finally nodded, getting the point.
"It's just after Willow ... and now Xander ..."

Giles nodded.  "Yes, it does seem to be a recurring theme in the
chronicles."

"Huh?"

"Well, the council is still rather stuffy about it all, but it does seem to
pop up with a certain regularity.  Among watchers as well."

"Do you have something you want to tell me?"

"Yes, that I am *not* prepared to discuss my school-boy crushes with you."

"Can you make that a promise?"

"On my honour."  Buffy could hear the silent British 'u' in the word as
Giles spoke it.

Suddenly Buffy looked up and asked, "Wesley?"

"Heterosexual, surprisingly enough.  He *is* a bit on the wet and weedy side
for my taste, though."

Whatever 'wet and weedy' meant, it sounded like Wesley, in Buffy's
estimation.

"Buffy, the point is that, throughout the ages, the fight against the forces
of darkness has been aided by those who already found themselves outsiders,
for whom keeping secrets and hiding parts of their lives was already second
nature, and that often includes those whose ..."

"... lifestyle makes them feel like outsiders already."

"I was going to say 'romantic proclivities'."

"I'm glad I stopped you."

Giles smiled.  "And I don't think Xander is suddenly going to start wearing
a tutu and mincing about, if that's what you're afraid of.  He's still, for
better and for worse, the same Xander."

"I want to thank you for that colorful visual image."  Buffy replied
sarcastically, but then she smiled and nodded.

"Anything else?  More tea?"

"No, I think I'd better go talk to Riley."

Giles nodded.  "Good idea.  And bring them 'round.  I'm intrigued to meet
Xander's young man."

Buffy grinned "He's totally buff guy."

Giles frowned, "Do I want to know what that means?"

"You'll see."

=====   ======   ======   ======   =======

As Buffy reentered Lowell House, she saw Graham in his boxers heading back
to his room from the bathroom.

"Hey, Graham!"

"Oh hey.   Morning, Buffy."

"It's 2 p.m., Graham."

Graham hung his head in mock embarrassment, a guilty smile on his face.

"You wanna come to lunch with Riley and me?  Riley's treat."

"Uh thanks, but I sorta got something on."

"I meant the two of you."  Buffy smiled warmly at Graham,

Graham looked at her and sighed, "Riley told ya, huh?  I'm gonna hafta to
clean that boy's clock."  He said it with a slight angry edge, but he was
half smiling.

"No, he didn't exactly say anything, I kinda figured it out from what he
wasn't saying.  Plus, that scoring of the phone number wasn't very
covert-y."

"Damn!  I thought I got away with that."

"Besides, I *am* the slayer."

Graham nodded.  "So, you're not freaked?  Cause I'd totally understand if
you had some minor wiggins."

Buffy chuckled and shook her head, "You *have* been hanging out with Xand!"

Graham blushed and nodded.
"I'll go ask him about lunch."

"Good, while you're doing that, I'll tell Riley he's buying."

******************************************

Author's End Note:
In the words of the Mexican rock band, Café Tacuba:

ya no puedo mas                  I can't do it any more.
ya no puedo mas                  I can't do it any more.
ya no puedo, ya no puedo,        I can't!  I can't!
¡ya no puedo mas!                I can't do it any more!
un poquito mas                   just a little more

from "el puñal y el corazon" (your fist in my heart), which rocks, btw.

<<OK, OK  stay tuned for one final part 23, in homage to the cemetery scene
by Saone, who came before me (so to speak) in Gr/X ship-dom, and maybe, just
maybe the littlest bit of slashySex(tm), cause these guys have one more
thing that needs doing.  One last time at the same Graham Time, same Graham
Channel...>>>

*******************************************

Fun with English!
Because the UK and the US are two countries separated by a common language
(and we Canadians are just schizophrenic).

Useful phrases for writing Brit-slash
arse                 ass
I can't be arsed     I can't be bothered
my arse!             I don't think so!
bum                  butt / bottom
to bunk off          to goof off, to play hooky
to cop off           to get laid
fag                  cigarette
fanny                vagina
git                  a jerk
grass                snitch  (verb or noun)
innit?               isn't it?  aren't you? aren't I? aren't
                     they? etc 'well, they're here, innit?'
kip                  a nap, sleep (get some kip)
knob                 cock, dick
knobshiner           cocksucker
laters!              see ya later! / good-bye
mad                  crazy (not angry)
mush                 mouth
oi!                  hey!
pissed               drunk (not angry)
poof, poofter        fag/ faggot  ('poof' is cute like 'fag' is cute)
bloody poof!         fucking faggot!
a pull               someone interested in you
                        (I think you got a pull over there)
to pull              to attract someone
                        (you'll pull dressed like that!)
shag                 screw, fuck
slash                piss (take a slash, have a slash)
snog                 make out (to snog, have a snog)
ta!                  thanks!
wank                 jerk off  (have a wank)
wanker               a jerk-off, a dick