********************************

Graham helped Xander through the front door of the
apartment.
Although his lover could stand, he was still weak from
the fight with
the Drighlock Demon. The others followed behind him.

Graham let Xander walk through to the bathroom, his
eyes never
leaving the hobbling form of his lover. 'I'll be in
soon okay
Xander?' The other man nodded in response, it was easy
to see how
exhausted Xander was, the last few hours had certainly
taken it's
toll.

`You two going to be alright Graham?' Riley had one
arm around his
girlfriend as he asked. The three others still all
seemed concerned
about the other man.

`Yeah, I think he just needs some rest. Nothing that
time won't
heal.' Graham didn't sound pleased but wanted to at
least reassure
the others. Wanted them to leave but didn't want to
say it out loud.

`We'll go then.' Graham nodded to his friend, shook
his hand and let
him move towards the door. Buffy apologising again for
what had
happened as she left. The door closing behind them,
leaving Graham
alone.

He moved towards the bathroom, knocking on the
partially closed
door. `Xander? Can I come in?'

Heard a muffled reply to the affirmative. Pushed the
door open and
entered the bathroom. Shut the door behind him, and
moved towards his
lover who was resting his weight against the edge of
the bath,
sitting.

Graham felt the emotion within him rise, hated seeing
Xander like
this, his lover was usually so vibrant. He could feel
his hands
shaking as he saw the darkness bruising his face,
angry that Xander
had been hurt and that he had been unable to prevent
it. Graham had
to take a deep breath to steady himself.

`You want me to help you get cleaned up?' Graham moved
closer as he
asked. Xander kept his eyes downcast not looking at
him, simply
nodded.

Graham stopped, hand outstretched, the other man not
seeming to
notice him. `You still sore? Do you want me to go and
get some
painkillers for you?' Xander just shook his head
again, still not
meeting his lover's gaze. Graham began running the hot
tap in the
basin, tested the temperature with his hand, still
shaking. He
grabbed a wash cloth out of the bathroom cupboard.

`Just tell me if I'm hurting you, OK?' A nod in
response as Graham
moved towards the other man. He reached down and
started to try and
remove the shirt Xander was wearing. Slight tear at
the side, rough
abrasion on the exposed skin underneath. He slowly
removed it,
pulling it over the other man's head, trying not to
pull the fabric
against him, not wanting to be too rough with the
exposed
skin. `Sorry.'

Graham soaked the cloth in the warm water and moved
back towards
Xander. `This will be easier if you stand up, I mean
if that's
alright?'

`You shouldn't have to do this.' Voice rough with
emotion, the first
time Xander had spoken since the others had left.

`What?' Graham confused at what Xander meant, wash
cloth in hand he
stopped, looked at Xander waiting for him to continue.
Realised he
wasn't going to. `Xan what do you mean?' Graham knelt
on the floor in
front of where Xander had sat, propped up on the edge
of the bath.

He made Xander look at him, hand placed gently under
his chin,
forcing him to meet his gaze. Graham looked
questioningly at him.

`You shouldn't have to do this.' He repeated. `I can
do it, if you
want to leave?'

Graham was still confused. `Why would I want to leave?
I just want to
make sure you're okay, help get you cleaned up, get
you into bed so
you can rest. I mean I'll go then if that's what you
want? If you
want to be alone?'

`I'm sorry Graham.'

`Why are you apologising? You're talking like this is
your fault,
like you're the reason you got hurt?' Graham reached
out and took
Xander's hand in his, turned it over so his palm was
facing upwards
and rested it on his leg, He started to squeeze it as
he looked into
Xander's eyes. `This isn't your fault.'

`Isn't it?'

Xander, you got hurt, it happens to all of us, why are
you worried
about it?'

`It's just. Well.' Graham could tell Xander was unsure
about what he
wanted to say, `I'm just sorry that I had to get you
into this... no,
let me finish. I'm sorry Graham. You shouldn't have to
be dragged
into my dramas.'

Graham waited till his lover was looking at him again,
smiled at him,
moved up and kissed him gently on the forehead. Trying
not to hurt
him. `You don't need to apologise to me, I'm just glad
you're okay
that's all. Now lets get you cleaned up.'

Xander nodded and let the other man help him to his
feet. Graham
grabbed the wash cloth again and slowly started to
clean the abrasion
on the side of his lover's body. The other man wincing
at the
contact.

Graham was having trouble controlling his body, his
hands began to
shake as he tried to gently apply pressure against the
wound, trying
to not hurt the other man. He moved upwards to
Xander's face,
cleaning the dry blood from the side of his mouth
where his lip had
split.

Graham was now trying hard to control his breathing,
he didn't want
Xander to see how effected he was, the anger welling
up inside him.
He had to steady himself, didn't think Xander would
notice as he had
his eyes closed, grimacing from the contact, where the
rough cloth
was against his skin.

Graham rinsed out the cloth once he'd finished. The
water in the
basin stained pink from the blood. He placed the back
of his hand
against the uninjured side of his lovers face, kept it
there until he
opened his eyes. Graham tried smiling reassuringly in
response.

`All better?' Xander tried to smile back, nodded his
assent. The dark-
haired man took Graham's hand in his and softly placed
a kiss on his
palm, silently thanking him.

`Best get you into bed I think.' Graham led Xander out
of the
bathroom, towards the bedroom. Supporting him with an
arm around his
waist if he needed it.

The two men moved into the bedroom, Graham making
Xander sit on the
bed. He knelt down and silently began removing the
rest of his
lover's clothing. Still trying to be cautious, not
wanting to hurt
the other man.

Graham waited till the other man was naked, then he
smiled up at him,
could sense the exhaustion, his face drawn and tired
looking. He
kissed Xander softly on the lips and helped him to
stand.

Pulling the covers back on the bed, he helped Xander
get under them.
He could see the other man was on the verge of falling
asleep. He
carefully moved Xander's hair back off his face, tried
to smile
reassuringly at him and gave him another kiss. `You
going to be okay
Xan? You need anything else?'

`Just one more thing.' Xander's voice slurring as he
tried to speak.

`What is it babe?'

`You. I just want you to hold me.' Graham gently
placed a kiss
against his lover's mouth, stood up and quickly
removed his clothing.
Once he was naked he slipped into bed and curled his
body around that
of his lover.

`This okay?' he wrapped his arms around the other man,
spooning him
tight against himself, trying not to brush against the
scratch on his
side.

Xander nodded and moved himself closer, letting the
other man
completely surround him. Within moments he was asleep.

**************************************

`Stop that.'

Graham halted his movement immediately. He'd thought
Xander had been
asleep, had not wanted to wake him up.

`Stop what?' Graham looked back at his lover, still
reclining in bed.
He was pleased to see most of the swelling in his face
had gone down.
His black eye and slightly bruised face the only
visible signs of his
capture. Knew however the bed covers hid more
bruising.

`You ? fussing around, making me feel all nervous.
Graham, if I'd
wanted a nurse I would have gone to hospital. OK?' He
nodded,
slightly embarrassed. `Unless you want to give me a
sponge bath? You
wanna show me your bedside manner?' The dark-haired
man laughing at
his own joke, stopped a few moments later, when he
realised Graham
was silent.

`What? Graham what's wrong?'

Graham placed his hand in his lover's and sat next to
him on the bed,
eyes downcast. `Nothing, I'm just ? I'm still worried
about you
that's all.' He kept his voice low in response.

`Graham, I'm fine. Just a little sore. A few kinks I'd
like to work
out, actually I was hoping you might want to help with
those ? and
you still don't seem to be getting into this. You
gonna tell me
what's really wrong?' Xander now confused as his lover
sat there
unresponsive.

Graham sighed, eyes still downcast. Xander could see
him mulling over
his thoughts, unsure how to continue.

`Lie down?' Xander moved back across the bed, allowing
Graham some
space. The ex-marine lay down, atop the covers, still
clothed. The
two men continued to hold hands.

`You don't need to worry Gray, you can tell me.'
Xander reached under
his lover's chin, lifting his face so the two men were
looking at
each other. He was shocked to see the emotion in
Graham's eyes, could
tell the other man was unsure what to say, wanted to
make him feel
better.

He tilted his head and moved in kissing him, hoping
that would give
him the confidence he needed, gentle squeeze of his
hand.

Voice broken, pitched low, Graham began. `When I got
here and I
couldn't find you and I thought that you might have
been hurt, I ? I
didn't know what to do. God Xander, I felt so
helpless, not knowing
if you were okay, not being able to help you.'
Graham's voice
catching as he continued.

Xander could see how effected the other man was. He
pulled him
closer, arms wrapped around him. He began stroking his
back,
whispering soft words of encouragement. He could feel
Graham shaking
as he continued, the raw emotion in his voice pulling
at his heart.

`I just, I didn't know what to do, and then we
couldn't find you, and
I got so angry. I didn't like feeling helpless, not
knowing that you
weren't safe.'

`Shhh, I'm okay now Gray. I'm alright. You don't have
to worry
anymore.' He could feel a shudder pass through his
lover's body,
could hear him, face pressed close as he began to cry.

`It's okay, I'm here now. I won't let go.' He
continued to stroke his
hand up and down Graham's back. Could feel his lover's
breath
hitching in as he continued to weep, face pressed
softly against
Xander's neck. The dark-haired man pulled him in
closer, holding him
tight. He could feel the other man's tears against his
naked
shoulder, the pent up emotion of the last day finally
being released.

Xander knew how he felt, he'd felt the same.

 `I'm sorry Xander, I didn't mean to start, didn't
want you to see
this.'

`Shhhh, it's okay, just let it out.'

`The one thing that scared me most was that I might
never see you
again.' Graham unable to continue speaking, continued
to sob, his
lover holding him close, uttered soothing words
against his ear.

`I know Graham, it's okay now.'

Xander continued to hold him, Graham pressed tight,
his whole body
shaking as he cried.

*************************************

Xander gradually started to wake up, the smell of hot
coffee drawing
him back to consciousness. He opened his eyes to see
Graham sitting,
now fully clothed on the edge of the bed. Xander
stretched, yawning
and reached his hand out towards his lover.

Graham pulled him closer and began to kiss him,
smiling against his
mouth. `Good morning.'

Mumbled response to Graham's greeting.

`I brought you coffee and donuts, I was gonna cook you
breakfast, but
I made the mistake of looking in your fridge. Big
mistake, so I snuck
out while you were sleeping and bought you some
instead. Thought that
was a better idea than trying to use the half jar of
mustard I found
and the God knows what it was that was stuck towards
the back of the
fridge.'

The two men laughing, Graham passed the box of donuts
to Xander and
reached for his coffee.

Xander sat up slightly, his lover propping a pillow
behind him. He
opened the box, resting it on his stomach and began to
eat, the smell
alone making him ravenous. `Too long since I've
eaten.' Words barely
discernible through a mouthful of jelly donut.

Graham just watched, enjoying probably too much the
simple act of his
boyfriend licking the crystallised sugar off his
fingers. He was
finding it hard to concentrate as Xander licked up and
down his
fingers inserting them into his mouth. He knew Xander
could tell he
was watching, the dark-haired man laughing slightly as
Graham put his
coffee down, afraid he might spill it.

`Remind me to buy donuts more often.' Graham lay down
next to the
other man, reached for a donut and broke it in half.
He moved the
smaller piece up to his lover's mouth, allowing him to
bite a small
piece off. Xander continued to chew, taking another
bite, till Graham
no longer held any. Xander then moved his hand,
holding his lover's
he began to lick at it, removing the dusting of sugar
that had begun
to melt from the heat and contact of Graham's skin.

Graham moaned as he felt Xander's tongue rough against
his fingers,
licking the soft pads, tracing patterns down to where
each finger met
in the V of his hand. Graham could barely keep his
eyes open,
delighting in watching Xander take each finger
individually into his
mouth, their eyes locked. The warmth of his lover's
mouth, suckling
his fingers making him hard.

`M ? more?' Xander just nodded, his tongue circling
his lips,
removing the traces of sugar and the saltiness from
Graham's hand off
his lips.

Another piece, Graham loved the feel of his lover's
lips circling and
licking at his fingers, he was painfully hard now,
could feel his
cock tight against his pants, wanted more but scared
that Xander was
still sore.

Unable to resist. `You've got some, just there.'
Graham gently,
barely touching his lips, ran his hand across Xander's
mouth.

He moved forward, face close against that of his
lover. `You want me
to get it?' Could feel Xander's breath against his
face as he
exhaled, unable to speak he merely nodded. Graham
moved closer,
bridging the gap. Opened his mouth, tongue extended,
began to lap at
the side of his mouth. Could taste the sweetness,
sugar of the donuts
but under that the sweet rich taste of Xander. Simply
moaned as his
lover turned slightly, now pressing their lips
together, the two men
kissed.

Graham loved the sweetness and the warmth of Xander's
mouth, tongue
thrust in, lapping at him. The two men moaned against
each other's
open mouths.

Graham felt Xander move his hand reaching down,
brushing against the
hard length of Graham's cock. He gently began to
caress him, moving
his hand up and down the shaft, Graham involuntarily
thrusting into
him as they continued to kiss.

Xander's hand now removed, Graham could feel him
fisting the material
of the front of his shirt, pulling him down, flat atop
him, Graham,
unable to break the kiss simply followed him, now
lying on him, body
thrusting into him.

Hearing Xander gasp, body still not entirely healed,
Graham broke
apart. `Oh shit Xan I'm sorry, I got carried away. Are
you alright?'

`I was, now you're not here, come back?' Xander
reached for him
again, trying to pull him back.

`You sure?' Xander just nodded, tongue darting out,
moistening his
now kiss bruised lips. Graham unable to resist,
quickly stood,
shucked his clothes. Now naked.

Pulled back the covers to the bed. Saw Xander, cock
hard. Moved back
to the bed, straddling his lover, one leg each side,
holding his body
above him, the two almost touching as he moved back to
kiss him.
Pleased to feel Xander thrusting up at him, wants to
let him set the
pace, make sure he doesn't hurt his bruised body.

Graham started to lick and kiss Xander's throat,
suckling against
him, his lover writhing under him as he kissed gently,
applying
pressure against him. Licked a salty trail of sweat
from his neck and
collarbone, proceeded to kiss his lover's hot flesh.
Xander moaned
under him.

Graham moved his head down, licking broad strokes to
his lover's
nipple, moved his hand up, one gentle squeeze, pleased
to hear him
gasp in delight. Replaced his fingers with his mouth,
suckled the now
hard nipple in. Bruising the soft flesh with the flat
of his tongue,
Xander arched up into him. Moved over and took the
other nipple into
his mouth.

Could feel Xander's hands all over him, caressing the
hard muscles of
his shoulders and back.

Moved his face back up to Xander's, kissing a trail up
over his
chest, shoulders and neck. Pressed his face against
his lover's,
suckling his earlobe into his mouth, placing his lips
soft against
his ear, voice broken with desire. `Xan? Do you want
to fuck me?'

Felt Xander push up against him, moulding his body to
his, their
sweat slick bodies sliding fluidly together, Xander
just moaned and
nodded his acquiescence.

Graham, mouth still pressed close to his lover. `I
want you to tell
me, tell me what you want to do to me Xan.' Began to
nibble at the
other man's earlobes, removed his mouth and began
kissing across his
lover's face. Eyes locked as the two men kissed,
Graham breaking
away, face just out of his lover's reach, he waited.

`Oh God Graham.' Xander's voice thick with desire,
eyes half
closed. `Graham I want, I want to fuck you ? I need to
feel myself
deep inside you, please Graham I want to fuck you so
bad.'

Graham moved his face down, rewarding his lover with a
leisurely
kiss, tongues thrust together. He reached across to
the cabinet, back
within moments, lube and condom in hand.

He moved down his lover's body, kneeling astride him.
Could feel
Xander watching him, head tilted upwards, hands
following him down as
Graham moved down his chest, past his cock, allowing
it to rub
against him as he moved, dragging the stiff shaft
against the cleft
of his ass.

Graham quickly moved down, taking his lover's erection
in his mouth,
coating it with saliva, laving the head, gently
suckling it. Xander
moaned in pleasure beneath him, put the condom on his
cock. Applied
some lube to his hand, stroking it up and down the
shaft of his
lover's cock, he made him sit up slightly.

Took his lover's hand in his own, squeezed some lube
onto it, moving
it underneath him. Used his own hand to separate his
ass, exposing
himself for his lover, kneeling slightly. Graham
moaned out loud, the
first contact, his lover's fingers against him. Tight
entrance
breached as Xander slid his lube slicked fingers into
him. Graham
used his position kneeling, to thrust back against his
hand as his
lover prepared him.

Reached one hand down to Xander's cock, gentle
strokes, long, from
the base right to the tip, using the heat of his hand
to pleasure
him. Couldn't wait anymore, needed him inside him.
Moved his body up,
placed himself just above his lover's cock. Looked
towards him, eyes
locked. Pleased to see Xander reaching his hands up as
he began to
caress Graham's chest, pinching his nipples, rubbing
hard against
him.

Graham used his hands, positioning Xander's cock at
the entrance to
his ass, started to moan as he lowered himself, using
his own weight
to force his lover's cock deep inside him, gradually
inching himself
on. Impaled himself on his lover. Used his hands to
steady himself.

Slid completely down, his lover's cock filling him
entirely, hands
bracing himself as he adjusted to the feeling, the
tightness of his
lover. Looked at Xander's face, head thrown back, eyes
closed tight
and mouth open. Could see the look of utter ecstasy
there, began the
rhythm.

Thrusting himself down onto his cock, he slid almost
fully out. The
lube allowing freedom of movement, felt Xander place
his hands on his
hips, extra stability enabling Graham to increase the
pace. Moved his
own hand to his cock, began to pump it in time to the
strokes his
lover is making inside him.

Could see the effect he was having on the other man,
gripping tight
with his muscles,  he thrust down hard, slamming his
cock fully
against the tight ring of muscle. Twisted slightly,
allowing Xander
to slam against his most sensitive spot, could feel
the pleasure
coursing through him, each downward thrust shooting
jolts of
pleasure.

All too much for him, one more downward thrust and
Graham could feel
himself coming, hard. Cock exploding into his hand,
semen covered
Xander's chest as he continued to stroke his cock.

Xander's reaction was immediate. Graham contracted
around the other
man, felt him come, deep inside him. Ragged breathing
as he came,
Graham still maintained the rhythm, loved the way he
could feel him
inside him.

Graham slipped down exhausted, trying not to place any
unneeded
pressure on his lover, felt Xander slip from him as he
began to kiss
the other man. Moaning against his mouth, Xander
whimpering, could
hear him repeating his name, over and over again.
Voice too far gone
with desire.

The two men lay next to each other, bodies entwined.
Graham was still
conscious that his lover was hurt, but unable to
control himself.
Pulled him close, holding him tight against him.

Saw his eyes open, bright sparkle of lust. Smiled and
kissed him
again as he tried to speak, unable yet to form the
words he wanted to
say.

`God Gray, that was ?' can't continue. They resumed
kissing. The two
men moaned.

Their bodies entwined, the two men slipped into an
exhausted sleep.

******************************

Graham reached for the phone, he'd felt a little
uncomfortable just
answering the phone in Xander's apartment but had
thought it would be
easier than waking him up. He still needed the rest
and if Graham was
really honest that was just as much his fault as any
demon's.

`Hello?'

`Hi Graham? It's Willow. How's he doing?' Graham was
relieved to hear
it was Willow, had really grown to like Xander's
friend and knew she
would be genuinely considered for his lover.

`Good, he's just resting, still a little sore, but ?'
Let his voice
trail off.

`That's good to hear,' could hear the relief in her
voice. `I was
hoping we could come over later? You know if he's
feeling up to it,
and ? if we're not intruding? We were going to come
by, make you two
dinner, make sure he's okay. Although I can't claim
that as being my
suggestion, it was Buffy's. She just wants to make it
up to him, she
feels bad about how everything happened, so she
suggested that we all
come over, that is if you two want, I mean there will
be four of us.
She asked Riley and Tara as well. If not, we can make
it another
day?' Graham, not for the first time, wondered if
Willow was ever not
in a good mood.

`Uh yeah sure, but Willow...?'

`Yeah.'

`You might want to think about bringing food with you
if you planned
on cooking, trust me there is not one thing in this
house that is
edible.' The two laughing as Willow agreed with what
he'd said.

`Great, 6 o'clock okay?'

`Sure, I'll make sure he's up and about. See you
then.'
 

tbc