********************************

Xander grabs a park close to the front of the Espresso
Pump, not too
many people out at this time. Hopes that means the two
of them will
have some privacy. Rather pleased he found the park so
close, he
didn't bring a stake tonight. Although, he looks
across the top of
the car at the man with him. Probably doesn't need it.
Marvels again
at how Graham looks. How does someone get that built?
Xander knows
only through perseverance and training, knows that's
why he'll never
be like that.

`After you?' Indicates for Graham to go in first,
follows him up to
the counter. The two order and then grab a booth
towards the back.
Seems pretty quiet, hopefully they can talk. The two
men sit opposite
each other with their coffees.

Nerves reclaim Xander as he realises the two of them
are alone, no
friends to act as buffers. Realises that he's made a
choice and the
longer he keeps it up the harder it'll be to give it
all away.
Wonders why that feeling doesn't bother him. Actually
makes him feel
good.

`Alone at last.' Graham only jokingly says, can see
the reaction on
the dark-haired mans face opposite immediately. `I
mean ...' voice
trails off.

`That's okay Graham, I was just thinking.' The
ex-marine nods his
head in response. Xander for one of the first times he
can remember,
feels lost for words.

`This is all...' Waves his hand wildly in front of
him, clearly
nervous. `I dunno, just ...'

`Good? Bad? New? Confusing?'

Xander can tell Graham's worried he's misread the
entire evening.
Smiles at him, hoping he looks reassuring, probably
more maniacal
though.

`Good, good, definitely good, just ... different?' Not
sure if he's
making sense, used to that, familiarity reassures him.
Decides to
tell Graham just how he feels.

`Honesty time, okay?' Can tell Graham is initially
freaked by this,
so continues quickly. `I've never really done this
before, well
obviously I've done the whole going out thing, but
never with a guy.
Not that we're going out, just coffee I know, but.
It's all ... new.
I can't decide whether I hit my head this morning and
this is all a
dream, `cause I'm thinking when did I get this lucky?'
Takes a big
sip of coffee after he's finished tries to hide his
embarrassment.

Raises his face again when he doesn't receive a
response from Graham.
Sees the ex-marine smiling his infectious smile back
at him. Smiles
in return, embarrassment gone. Something about the
other man makes
him feel like he's 16 again.

`So you've never been with a guy then?' Graham asks
him to clarify,
seems a little confused by Xander's ramblings. The
dark-haired man
just shakes his head. `That's fine Xander, I`m more
than happy for
this to go as slow as you like. You can back out
anytime you want to,
I don't want you to feel pressured in any way.'
Another nod from
Xander.

`I don't think I want to back out.'

Xander's voice low, knows Graham hears cause he's
smiling, full force
again. Smiles to himself as well.

`Good'.

Now Graham's grinning like a mad man.

`Although, I did kinda fool round a bit when I was
younger.' Xander
hadn't thought about Larry in a while or Sunnydale
High graduation.
The two of them kissing, groping madly like the
teenagers they were.

Nothing really happened, but after Anya had said she
was going to
leave town, both had wanted to feel a connection, and
after Larry had
come out to Xander he hadn't yet had the courage to
tell the man it
had been a misunderstanding. Now he thinks maybe there
was more
reasons involved for not telling him. So the two had
spent some time
together. Scared that it would maybe be their last.
Xander had been
reticent at first but had enjoyed himself nonetheless.

What was it about Anya, driving him into the arms of
other guys?
Maybe he'd need to send the ex-demon a thank you card
if he ever
tracked her down again.

Started relaying the story to the ex-marine. Enjoying
the way Graham
would listen, laugh when he heard how Larry for the
entire next year
had thought he was gay. Almost spilled his coffee when
he told him
how he kept telling Xander the benefits of finally
coming out, of
accepting himself. By the end of the conversation
Xander was worried
that Graham was going to start crying he was laughing
so much.

Xander definitely liked the way Graham would listen.
Knew it wasn't
just due to the fact that Xander talked too much, he
liked the way
the ex-marine was hanging off every word. Happy that
he was being
appreciated. Someone finally thought he was making
sense. Continued
to sip his coffee, smiling silently too himself.

"Good memories then, huh?' Graham indicating Xander's
smile with a
nod of his head.

`What? Yeah, no ... that's not why I was smiling. Just
thinking about
something else.'

`Yeah, what?'

`Ah ... You.'

Pleased with the effect that this statement has on the
man before
him. Drinks some more coffee to distract himself from
how he's
feeling. A little scared about how well tonight's
going. Puts his cup
down, can see Graham surveying the pretty much empty
cafe. Wonders
what he's thinking, just about to ask when Graham
reaches his hand
across the table top to where Xander's is sitting next
to his almost
empty coffee.

Xander watches Graham's hand, can feel the ex-marine's
eyes on his
face. The warmth of the hand as Graham slowly rests it
against his,
no pressure yet, allowing Xander to decide the pace.
Xander moves his
hand closer, presses it against the slightly sweaty
palm of the hand
before him. Can feel the other man squeeze it in
response. Pressure
returned. Likes the way it feels, his hand cocooned
against Graham's.
Raises his eyes and looks into Grahams face. Smiles
his approval.

Wonders why holding hands in an almost empty cafe with
the man before
him feels so good.

`I want you to know Xander that I'm more than happy
for us to wait
for you. Till you're ready for, you know whatever. It
makes a nice
change of pace actually.'

`Yeah? So Graham, you know all my sordid history how
`bout spilling
the beans on yours?' Keeps Graham's hand in his,
slowly runs his
fingers up and down the palm of the hand he's holding.
Can feel the
ex-marine shiver slightly in response.

`Not much to tell really, not that there hasn't been
anyone, just no-
one worth mentioning I guess. Don't want to scare you
but most of the
guys I've been with have just been once off, nothing
any more
serious, just out of the marines remember, can't
really get into the
romance thing. That's why I'm liking this.' Squeezes
Xander's hand to
illustrate his point.

`Ah, a hopeless romantic then? I could get to like
that. Must agree,
I'm definitely liking this.' Squeezes Graham's hand
back.

`That's good, cause I'm like, pulling out all the
stops here.' The
two men, eyes locked, smiles mirrored on each others
faces.

`Yeah, well don't let on, but the whole, you thing?
It's like,
totally working.' Relief and excitement cross the
ex-marine's face.

`That's good.'

Xander can see Graham is pleased with his response.

Both men seem to realise the place is now closing,
both reluctantly
letting go of each others hands.

`I think we're going to have to leave.' Graham nods in
answer. `I'll
drive you back?'

`I'd like that.' They both stand and move out towards
Xander's car.

***********************************

`You'll need to pull up over here.' The ex-marine
pointing to the
side of the road, a small distance from Lowell House.
Not too close,
Graham thinks to himself.

Xander pulls over and kills the engine, looks across
to the man
beside him.

Graham can feel himself smiling stupidly, at least
relieved to see
Xander is doing the same. `I've had a really good
night Xander.' The
other man nods still smiling.

`If you wanted, I'd really like to do it again
sometime?'

Graham silently cursing himself for how coy he sounds,
mentally kicks
himself, and wonders why he sounds like a lovestruck
teenager. Sees
the look on Xander's face and thinks maybe he is, well
except for the
teenager thing.

`Definitely.' Xander's only response.

Wants to give Xander his number, but realises he
doesn't have a pen,
sees the mess on the floor of Xander's car and thinks
even if the
other man did, they probably wouldn't find it. `I'd
give you my
number but ...' raises his hands slightly indicating
the problem.

`No worries, I know where you live.' Indicates the
dorm room slightly
ahead in the distance. `And besides, I can get it
pretty easily.'

Graham nods back, not sure how much Xander will be
okay with.

`So, why am I parked so far away, you worried your
friends will see
me?' Xander jokes initially, then wonders to himself
if maybe it's
true.

Graham can see the concern across Xander's face. `No,
just wanted a
little privacy.'

`Yeah, why?' Can see the look on Xander's face, takes
that as all the
prompting he needs.

Graham moves across the seat towards the dark-haired
man. Allows
Xander enough time if he's unsure, pleased to see him
move closer.
Sees Xander close his eyes as the two men start to
kiss. Graham
placing his lips softly against Xander's, not sure if
the other man's
ready, afraid to frighten him.

Lips pressed together almost chastely, the ex marine
allows the other
man to make the first move. Can feel Xander's lips
parting,
acquiescing. Graham moves his tongue, licking against
the inside of
Xander's mouth, tongues meet as the two men kiss.
Graham loves the
freshness, the way the other man tastes, tongues
grappling together,
can taste the coffee and sweetness from earlier,
underneath that,
Xander.

He moves his hand up to Xander's face, stroking his
fingers softly
against his chin. Feels Xander move his arm, grabs him
by the
shoulder and moves him closer. They continue to kiss.
Pleased by the
moans the dark-haired man is making, breaks the kiss,
wishes he
didn't have to, knows they both need to breathe.

Thinks Xander feels the same reluctance, can feel his
hand still on
his shoulder squeezing, Graham continues to trail his
fingers against
the side of his face, can feel the stubble under the
thick pads of
his hand. Foreheads together, eyes closed. Both men
panting.

`Xander?' Mumble in response. `I assume that means
you're okay with
this?' Xander just moves back to kiss him in response.
This time more
passionate, tongues pressed together, moans escaping
from both men,
Graham smiles against the hot wetness pressed tight
against him,
knows it's Xander and that thought sends electrical
currents of
pleasure though his entire body.

Knows he wants more, but wants this to go slow. They
continue to
kiss, Graham trying to control his wilful body, wants
so much more,
to feel more of Xander against him, inside him. Wants
to press his
body against Xander's here, now to take him, but knows
to Xander this
is all still new. Doesn't want to waste such a great
opportunity.
Breaks the kiss. Trailing small open-mouthed kisses
against Xander's
lips, then his chin, up the side of his face till his
lips are
pressed close to his ear. Can feel Xander moaning
against the side of
his face, the other man trying to press his whole body
against him,
hindered by the way they're sitting in the car.

`Oh God baby, we gotta stop.' Xander just nods in
agreement, the two
men separate reluctantly. Xander reaches out his hand
and takes the
other mans in both of his, looks down at it before
him, holding it
perilously close to his lap.

`I don't think I want to stop, but ...' his voice
trailing off.

Graham smoothes back the man's hair with his other
hand, lifts his
face by the chin so they're looking at each other, `I
know, I don't
either, but I think we both know it's the best thing.
We have plenty
of time.' Reluctant nod from the man beside him.

Removes his hand from Xander's, brings one of them up
to his mouth
and kisses him on the palm, against the wrist. Can
feel the pleasure
passing through Xander's body, another moan escapes.

`I really should go.' Gathers his things and moves to
leave, door
half open.

`I'm gonna call you.'

Graham smiles back in response. `Can't wait Xander.'

Shuts the door and watches Xander drive away. Glad for
the slight
walk back to his dorm room, offers him the chance to
try and get his
body back under control. Scared at how effected he
feels. Graham
moves back inside, definitely pleased with the way the
evening turned
out.

tbc