**********

Graham was staring into his jello.  Usually the Marine tried to avoid any food that contained a color not found in nature, but for some reason he was drawn to this wiggly pile of bright, fluorescent blue cubes.  He wasn?t quite far enough gone to eat it, however.  No, he was content to simply stare... and remember.

It was two days ago.  Xander had been a little early, arriving right when dinner was being served.  He had waited until the nurse had set down the tray and left the room before he swooped in and snagged Graham?s jello bowl.  The Marine, not really minding the loss of his hospital approved dessert, wryly asked if his new friend wanted a spoon.

Xander had declined, saying he didn?t want to take the only one Graham had.  The Marine was about to insist when Xander put his mouth to the dish and sucked in a jiggly red cube.  Sucked.  It.  Right.  In.

So, Graham?s eyes may have been focused on this latest round of jello, but in his mind all he could see were Xander?s slightly full, pink lips forming a perfect ?o?, and then... Ohhhh.

The Marine grinned and at that moment decided he liked jello after all.

He still had a rather loopy smile on his face when, a few moments later, Riley walked through the door.

?Wow.  I guess they really did up your medication dose.?

Graham snapped back to reality.  ?Riley?  What the hell are you doing here??

His former CO fidgeted a bit, then a familiar, sheepish expression settled onto his features.  ?I just wanted to... see how you were.?  Hazel eyes blinked virtuously at the man in the bed, before a shadow of wariness passed over them.  ?You?re not gonna throw anything at me again, are you??

After a moments careful consideration, Graham shook his head.  ?No.  I?m not going to throw anything at you.?

?Oh, good.?  Riley visibly relaxed and moved toward a chair.  ?Mind if I sit??

Graham shrugged.  Riley sat.  The two men stared at each other.

Finally, the still mobile one couldn?t take it anymore.  ?Dammit!?  Riley got out of his seat and began to pace.  ?I hate this.?

?Well, I?m not too fond of the situation either.?  Graham commented.

?No, I don?t mean this.?  Riley waved his hand around, indicating the hospital room.  ?I mean, us.  No, I mean...?  He sank back down into the chair again.

Despite himself, Graham was feeling a bit concerned for his friend.  ?You mean what??

?You?re not gonna actually make me say it, are you??

?Well, considering I have absolutely no idea what you?re talking about... It might help.?

?It?s just, I have these... feelings...?

Graham was fairly certain his eyebrows were going to disappear into his hairline any second now.  ?Feelings??  He twitched a little and once again thought about just trying to hop his way out.

?Oh, God.  This was so stupid.  I shouldn't have said-?

?No.?  Graham took a deep breath and settled his features back into their normal stolid status.  ?There?s no Dr. Phil to hold our hands, but if you think you need to say-?

Riley?s brow creased.  ?Who??

?Dr. Phil.  He?s the guy on Oprah.?  Graham?s eyes flicked to the television mounted on the opposite wall.  ?It comes on after Passions.?

Riley blinked once.  Then, he blinked again.  ?Suddenly, *I* don?t feel so stupid.?

?Glad I could help with that.  Now, you were saying something about feelings you had??

?Right.  I haven?t spoken to you in over a week.?  He fiddled with the hem of his shirt.  ?It just feels like you?re... it feels like you?re slipping away again.?

?Riley, look at me.  Unless someone takes away my pillows there?s no way in hell I can *slip* anywhere.?

The blonde man didn?t respond to that, and Graham sighed.  If he had known his friend had thoughts along those lines he would never have thrown the water pitcher at him.  ?I?m not going anywhere, Riley.  As long as there?s a Scooby Gang and a Slayer I?ll be here.  Permanent liaison, remember?  And,?  Graham unconsciously softened his voice.  ?We?re still friends, Ri.  We?re always gonna be friends.?

?Really??

?Yeah.  Really.  The only reason I tried to bean you was because you started making more excuses for Buffy?s behavior.?

Riley blushed.  ?I was just trying to smooth things over.  Hoping to keep everything under control.?

?But, she?s not under control.?

?She?s not that bad, Graham.?

?You do remember you?re saying that to the man she put in the hospital.?

Riley gave his friend a half smile.  ?Can you at least think about trying to forgive her??

?I?ll *think* about it.  No promises.?  Graham?s answering grin belied his words.  ?Wait.  She?s not like, standing outside the door, waiting to come in and be absolved, is she??

Riley rolled his eyes.  ?I think she?s afraid to set foot on the floor.  She?s heard the stories, and those plastic pitcher things hurt.  No, she, Willow, and Xander are hitting the Bronze tonight.?

?Xander?  He?s not coming here??  Graham?s reaction was immediate, and he silently cursed both it, and the forlorn sound in his voice.

Riley either ignored the odd note, or misinterpreted it.  ?You gonna begrudge him some time off?  He?s been sitting with you for almost two weeks now.  Is it so wrong if he wants to spend a night not staring at your ugly mug.?

Graham felt his heart plummet, and hoped his inner tumult didn?t show on his face.  He really didn?t need to worry about that.  ?Did he, did he actually say that??

?Well, those weren?t his *exact* words.  But, personally, after all the hours he?s logged in, I don?t blame him?  Riley?s teasing grin faded as he finally picked up on the fact that Graham seemed a bit... out of it.  ?Hey, you okay??

?What?  Oh, yeah, I?m fine.?

Despite the assurance, Riley was still a bit concerned.  ?Are you sure??

?Positive.?  Graham said, lying through his teeth.

*****

Using his bendy straw, Xander viciously attacked the ice cubes in his soda.  It wasn?t that he particularly disliked frozen water, it was just he needed something to occupy himself.  To keep his thoughts from straying to... Die, ice cube!  Die!

Being so enthralled with what was going on inside his plastic cup, Xander had no idea Willow was giving him one of her patented concerned looks.  If he had known, he could have lifted his head, flashed his widest smile, made an off color, offhanded comment, and put her mind at ease.  Good ole Xander.  But he didn?t know, and he didn?t stop his un-Xander-like actions, and Willow?s concern grew and grew until it was finally too much for even her to ignore.

?Xander,?  Her little face wore one of her sturdiest frowns.  ?What?s wrong??

He started a bit at the sound of her voice.  Large brown eyes blinked at the sight of her serious green ones.  ?Wrong??  He repeated.  ?Nothing?s wrong.?

Willow?s brow furrowed.  She studied him for a moment, her intense speculation making Xander squirm uncomfortably.  ?Something?s wrong.?

?What could be wrong??  Xander rolled his eyes and let out a nervous, little laugh.

?I don?t know, but something is.?  She said firmly.

Xander?s anxiousness gave way to irritation.  Where was the obtuse and self-involved Willow he had come to know and love?  ?*Nothing* is wrong.?  Certainly nothing he could talk to anyone about, at any rate.

The redheaded witch leaned back in her seat, her expression placid, but her eyes shrewd.  ?Buffy, Xander says there?s nothing wrong.?

Buffy tore her eyes away from the perusal of the crowd long enough to give the male Slayerette a good once over from head to toe, lingering on Xander?s face.  ?Something?s wrong.?  She announced before returning her gaze to the throng.

?See,?  Willow smiled triumphantly.  ?Even *Buffy* can tell there?s something wrong.?

The Slayer jerked her head around and peered at her friends, a sixth sense telling her she had just been insulted, but not providing any specifics as to the nature of the affront.  ?Huh??

Xander conceded the fight for supremacy to the ice cubes, and set his drink on the table so he could have both hands free to rub over his eyes.  ?Okay, fine, there is something bothering me, but I really don't want to get into it now... And, don?t even think about using your hurt look to get it out of me.?

?I?m not going to use my hurt look.?  Willow said, using her hurt look.

Xander sighed.  ?Not gonna work, Wil.?

?Well, why not??  She pouted.  ?Is it so horrible that you can?t tell your best friends?  Or, um, is it??

?No, not horrible.  It?s just... it?s kind of a guy thing, you know.  And, while you may date a girl, you?re still not technically-?

?Okay, Xander.?  Her voice was stern, but the acommaniy scowl was playful.  ?A guy thing, huh??

Xander nodded.

?I bet Riley wouldn't mind lending an ear.?

?Er, no.  That?s... No.?

?Oh.?  Willow?s face brightened.  ?What about Graham??

?What *what* about Graham?  What??

?Well, you two have been spending so much time together lately, I figure you?re pretty good friends by now, right?  There, a guy for a guy problem.?  Her beaming face dimmed as she took in Xander?s reaction.  As they occasionally do, one plus one came together to hit the nail on it?s proverbial head.  ?Xan, Graham isn?t the guy part of the guy problem, is he??

Xander blinked, then quickly shook his head.  ?Of course not!  Where, where?d you get *that* kind of an idea??  He chuckled nervously.

?Huh.  Well, if everything?s okay between the two of you, why aren?t you at the hospital tonight?  I mean, you?ve been going there every evening for the past, what, two weeks??

?And I decided to take a break.?  Xander thought he sounded convincing.  Evidently Willow didn?t.

She crossed her arms over her chest.  ?What happened?  Did he, ooh, did he say something mean to you?!?

?No, Wils.  He-?

??Cause if he did, I might have to have some words with him.  Maybe words that end with... with... ?ye shall burrow through the dirt like the worm thou are?!?

?Willow!?  Xander did *not* like the gleam that had formed in the witch?s eyes.  ?I?m not at the hospital because I wanted a break for the night.  Graham has never been mean to me.  And, you are not even going to *think* about turning him into *anything*!  Got it??

Willow pouted at bit, but Xander stared at her until she relented.   Then, deciding everyone needed a good distraction, Buffy suggested they get out on the dance floor and shake *their* asses before she had to go on patrol and kick some demonic ones.

*****

Graham couldn?t remember ever feeling quite so bad.  It wasn?t that he had harbored any real hope of anything coming to fruition from his feelings for Xander, but still...  To know that the guy he was crushing on just pawned him off in order to go out dancing, well, it was pretty much a low blow.

Graham knew he wasn?t being fair.  It?s not like Xander had any obligation to sit with him, and he hadn?t had an evening away from the hospital for days.  Was it so bad for the guy to want to spend some time with his friends?

Yes.  Yes, it was.

Graham sighed, and sulked, and glowered.  He was sinking into an all new, all different kind of pit of despair.  The Marine even contemplated pouting.  It?s not like anyone would see him committing such an act.  At almost midnight the fourth floor of Sunnydale General was quiet, and aside from the sleeping patients and occasional night nurse, deserted.

Believing that he was safe to surreptitiously wallow for a little bit, Graham sighed again, this time putting some oomph into it.  The loud, pitiful, wretched exhale of breath was almost enough to overshadow the soft click of the door to the hallway being opened.  Almost.

Graham tensed, immediately schooling his features back into their normal mask.  He blinked at the figure standing in the doorway.  With the bright light from the hallway pouring in from behind, Graham could make out nothing more than the silhouette of a man.

For a split second false hope spit out the name ?Xander?, but that thought was mercilessly scoffed at when the figure spoke.

?Having trouble sleeping??

No, not Xander.  Just another nurse.

?Uh, no, not really.?  Graham said, not wanting to end up with another needled stuck in his arm, or more pills to swallow.  ?It?s still a little early for me, that?s all.  I don?t need anything.?

The nurse stepped further into the room.  ?Well, you may not need anything right now, but in a few seconds you?re gonna need... a transfusion!?

In retrospect, Graham realized that he had spent way, way, *way* too much time with various Scoobies, one rather sarcastic one in particular, because upon seeing the grinning gameface, the first words out of his mouth were,  ?God.  That was lame.?

The vampire stopped short and stared at him.  ?What??

?No, I mean, I?ve heard some pretty good one liners in my time, but that was... that, that was bad.?

?Hey!  I?ll have you know I spent four days coming up with that line, *pal*.?

?And, see, *that?s* just sad.?  A small, death wish having part of Graham was actually enjoying the baiting.  However, the much larger part was directing the hand that slipped unobtrusively under his pillow searching for the stake he kept there.  When, on his third visit, Xander had presented Graham with the sharp, pointy piece of wood, the Marine had swallowed any incredulous comments and graciously accepted.  He had originally thought to get rid of it later, but then changed his mind.  It was all about being prepared.  Yeah.  It had nothing to do with the fact that it was something *Xander* had *given* to him.  No.

?W-wh... b-b-but...?  The vampire was literally sputtering.  Food wasn?t supposed to talk back.  Food was supposed to be automatically cowed by his intrinsic evilness.  This piece of food would have to learn a lesson.

The creature lunged towards the bed, just as Graham pulled out the stake, ready to plunge it into an unbeating heart.  Fortunately, Xander?s present didn?t get a chance to be defiled by icky vampire juices because before the monster could even touch Graham it was pulled away and thrown across the room.

The Marine watched, as, with a well placed kick, a stake of her own, and a bouncing, blonde pony tail, Buffy added another mark to her kill list.

After brushing some undead dust off her jeans, the Slayer straightened and sheepishly turned toward the man in the bed.  ?Um, hey.?

?Hey.?  Graham frowned.  ?Um...?

Buffy saved him from asking the obvious.  ?You?re probably wondering what I?m doing here, right??

?Among other things.?

?I patrol the hospital every week or so.  Stop some nasties from preying on the weak and helpless.?  She looked alarmed.  ?Uh, not that I think *you?re* weak, or helpless.  In fact, you seem very strong and incredibly component.  I mean-?

Graham held up a hand.  ?Buffy.?

?Right.  Sorry.  Anyway, I was just in the neighborhood, and...?

?You were tracking the vamp.?

?Uh, no.?

?Then, how did you know to come here??  Riley had told him a few stories about how Slayers have heightened senses when it came to finding vamps, but he had no idea they were that good.?

Buffy blushed and ducked her head, mumbling something.

?What??

?I said,?  her cheeks got even redder.  ?I was... just checking.?

?Checking??

?Checking up.?

?Checking up??

?On you.?  She finished quietly.

Graham leaned back, more than a bit floored by that revelation.  ?You were checking up on me?  *You* were checking up on me??

?Well, I just wanted to make sure you were doing okay.  I mean, I know Xander said you were, but...?  She sighed.  ?I guess I feel kind of responsible for you even being here-?

The Marine pursed his lips.

?Okay, I?m completely responsible for you being here, and... I?m sorry.?

Her big, moist eyes, and the slight quiver to her bottom lip were not lost on Graham, who, in spite of himself, felt a tiny, teeny, minuscule seed of forgiveness start in his heart.  ?Well...?

Buffy occasionally knew when not to push things.  She was prepared to be content with anything that didn?t end with her being cursed at.  ?Okay, I?m just going to go, finish the sweep.?  She paused as an earlier conversation popped into her mind.  It probably wouldn?t hurt to address that now, so she could tell Willow it had been done and there was no need for spell books to become involved.  ?Listen, about Xander...?

Graham?s ears perked up.

?The next time you want him to leave you alone, just let me, or Willow tell him for you, okay??

It took a moment before Graham could form a response to that, and even then he couldn?t seem to manage more than a,  ?Huh??

Buffy wrung her hands together.  ?It?s just... Xander?s like a puppy.  You know, like how he?s so loyal, and always right there, and eager to please.  But, believe me, I understand that sometimes it can get to be too much, and he gets under foot, and all you want to do is put a choke chain around his neck and lock him in a closet.?

Graham was in a silent state of shock, trying, and failing to make any sense out of the conversation.

?Anyway, he?s also... sensitive about certain things, and Willow and I are used to dealing with him, but, well, saying something that might just roll off someone like Riley?s back could be really hurtful to a guy like Xander.?

Finally, the Marine was able to say something.  ?I don?t-?

Buffy cut him off.  ?All I?m saying is, be careful what you say to him.  I know you didn?t *mean* to hurt Xander, but-?

?Whoa!?  Graham held up hand, getting a better picture now of what the conversation was about, and not liking it one bit.  ?First of all, I *like* Xander?s company, and I?ve never said anything that could be construed as otherwise.?

Buffy blinked at the harsh tone, but before she could respond, Graham continued.

?I don?t know how... Xander couldn't have thought... Did he say...?

?Not exactly.?

?Yeah, he never says anything *exactly*, does he??  Graham asked bitterly.

?What??

?Nothing.  Look, Buffy, thanks for the save.  Really, I appreciate it. But, I?d like to get some rest now, so, if you don?t mind...?

?Oh, sure.?  The blonde, unsure as to what just happened, meekly nodded and headed toward the door.  But, before she left she spared one last glance at the Marine, who?s expression, a mixture of irritation and hurt, only served to confuse her more.

*****

Buffy sighed.  It should have been a happy sigh.  Considering where Riley?s mouth was, it should have been a *very* happy sigh.  But, it wasn?t.  It was grave, and thoughtful, and all in all, in Riley?s mind, quite a damper on the night?s activities.

He sat up and scowled at his girlfriend.  ?Honey??

?Hmmm?  Oh, why?d you stop??

?Because I wasn?t sure if you were noticing I was down there.?

Buffy looked suitably embarrassed.  ?Sorry.  I?ve just got something on my mind.?

?Ah.  The one thing every boyfriends longs to hear.?  The ex-soldier said wryly.  ?Want to share??

Buffy sighed again.  ?It?s Graham.?

?What?!?  Blood rushed to Riley?s cheeks.  ?You were thinking about *Graham* while I was-?

?No!?  The Slayer whapped him on the arm.  ?Not like that!  I just... I stopped by the hospital on patrol, and he said some things.?

Riley smiled softly.  ?Buffy, you know, he?s still probably not ready to forgive what-?

She rolled her eyes.  ?No, not those kinds of things.?

?Then, what kinds of things did he say??  He frowned.

?Stuff.  Different stuff.  There was something about... Well.  I?m not sure if I should be saying anything.?

Riley knew Graham.  Riley trusted Graham.  But, Riley really didn?t like where this seemed to be going.  ?Buffy, you know I love you.  There is no one else in this world who means as much to me as you.  No one.  You can say anything to me.?

Buffy?s large, liquid eyes gazed up into his strong face.  She hesitated a moment before speaking.  ?Riley... Do you think Graham?s gay??

**********