Title: A Better Day
Summary: Graham wakes up, but what about Xander?
Rating: PG
Spoilers: General season 4
Disclaimer: They?re not mine
Archive: UCSL, Xanderslash, Graham Crackers
Date: June 6, 2000
Website: http://www.oocities.org/saone
E-mail: Saone@yahoo.com
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?. . . can?t. . . believe. . . happened. . . ?
?. . . vital. . . good. . .
?. . . doctor. . . up. . .to. . . him. . .?
?Wait. . . think. . . coming around. . . Graham??
?Graham. . . can you hear. . . ?
?Graham! Can you hear me?! Graham?!?
Well, since you?re practically yelling in my ear, Giles, I would have to say yeah.
?Come on, buddy. Open your eyes.?
Oh, Riley?s here too. I wonder where here is? Open my eyes? Okay, I can do that. I think I can do that. Was it always this hard? Oh, here we go, eyes opening. . . eyes opening. . . AUGH Bright Light!!! Eyes closing. Eyes closed. Much better.
?I?m gonna go get a doctor!?
Buffy?s going to go get a doctor. Why would Buffy need a doctor? Wait. . . maybe I should try this eye opening thing again.
Ow. ?Ow.? Okay, taking stock. Riley, and Giles. . . worried faces. . . hospital room. . . massive headache. . . I?m suddenly thinking something really bad happened. ?What. . . why. . .?
Riley glances at the door to make sure no one might overhear. ?A demon gave you a pretty nasty bump on the head. You?ve been out of it for almost a day.? I can see it in his eyes. Ri was really worried about me. This must have been bad.
?We?ve all been quite concerned.? Giles has this grave look on his face.
Grave. Grave. There?s something. . . Graveyard. . . We were in the graveyard. . . there was a demon. . . Xander and I were running. . . Xander!
?Xander!? Where?s Xander?!? I try to sit up, which is probably not the best idea in the world, but I really don?t give a damn.
Riley pushes me back down. ?You want to make yourself worse? Calm down.?
?But. . .?
?Xander?s fine.? Ri says softly. ?He was in earlier, but he had to go to work.?
I let out this deep breath, as relief washes through me. Xander?s okay. But, Giles is looking at us kinda funny. Oh great.
?Uh, Giles, can you go see if you can help Buffy find the doctor?? I guess Riley noticed it too.?
Giles blinks at us for a moment. ?Oh, right. I?ll just. . . go see if I can help Buffy find the doctor.? He slowly shakes his head as he walks out into the hallway.
I turn back to Riley. ?You sure Xander?s okay??
He snorts. ?Xander?s more then okay, Graham. He saved your life.?
Huh? ?Huh??
?Xander ran the demon through with this long, pointy, metal, candle holder thing. I forgot what Giles called it. Anyway, he killed it dead.? I smile at the respect in Riley?s voice.
?I can?t believe he did that.? Xander didn't run. He didn?t. . . he didn?t leave me. No. No, I?m reading way too much into this.
?Well, what I can?t believe is that he carried you back to the car.? Riley shakes his head.
?He carried me!? How did. . .?
?I don?t know.? Ri shrugs. ?I don?t think Xander knows either. He just said that he couldn?t leave you, bleeding, in the middle of a cemetery.?
He couldn?t leave me. He carried me. Okay, I think it?s going to take a few minutes to absorb this.
?It does seem a bit above and beyond for just *acquaintances*.? Riley leers at me. ?So, what I want to know is, what exactly happened between you two last night??
I sigh. ?Nothing happened.? Well, except for that kiss. . . ?Oh.?
Riley gives me a curious look. Crap. ?What, oh??
?No, oh.?
?You said, Oh.? Riley frowns. ?You said, Nothing happened, then you got this really strange look on your face, then you said, oh.?
Um. I put my hand to my head. ?Oh. I feel a little woozy. Too much excitement. I think I need to rest.?
Riley doesn?t believe a word of it, and I don?t really care.
*****
You would think that a place that wants to encourage people to live, would have a bit more stimulation in their rooms. I think I had more fun in my coma. Course, I?m really not looking for fun, I?m looking for something to distract me from obsessing over what happened with Xander.
I could always obsess about what?s *going* to happen. Oh yeah, that helps. Well, at least I?m already in the right place if I develop an ulcer. Maybe I can. . .
?Hey.?
Xander?s here. Xander?s standing in the doorway. Okay, I?m calm. I?m very calm. Last thing I need right now is some nurse coming in to check on my heart monitor.
?Hey.? Calm. Very calm.
He shuffles from one foot to the other. He looks so nervous. I wish I could just hold him. ?I can?t stay long.? He says, suddenly.
?Okay.? If he?s gonna bolt, I need to say something first. ?Thank you.?
He looks surprised. ?For what??
?You saved my life.?
?You kissed me.?
Oh boy. Really wasn?t expecting that. Okay, this would be a good time for a witty little comment to ease the tension. ?Yeah.? Good one, Graham.
?Why??
Why? Why!? He wants a reason? He wants a reason. A reason. Well, why did I kiss him? ?Because. . . because, in that instant, I couldn?t not kiss you.?
?Oh.? He sinks down into a chair. ?So, am I correct in assuming that you. . . uh. . . ya know??
?Have feelings for you?? I offer.
?Yeah.?
?Yeah.?
?Oh.? He frowns. ?Why??
?Why. . . do I l. . .? Like!! Not Love!! SAY LIKE!!! ?. . .ike you??
He nods, and my heart just about crumbles.
I?m at a loss about this. . . yeah, like I?ve been so prepared up til now. It would be easier if I thought he was just fishing for compliments. I had guessed that Xander hadn?t had the most idyllic life, but now, looking at the insecurity written all over his beautiful, sweet face, I just want to punch someone.
?I-I?m not sure I can give you an exact reason.? I guess it?s cards on the table time. ?I?ve been. . . attracted to you for a while now, basically from the first moment I saw you.?
Uh oh. Disbelief has replaced insecurity. He wants proof? Okay. ?It was at a party at Lowell House. You came in to get Buffy, I guess there was some big evil that needed fighting.?
?Nah, just Spike.? He says, absently. Then, his eyes focus on me, and I can see wonder starting to eat away at the doubt. ?B-but t-that was. . .that was back in the Fall!?
?Yeah.?
?You?re telling me that you remember that?? Doubt was creeping back in.
?Xander, I remember every time I?ve ever seen you. I?ve spent countless hours thinking about you. I?ve agonized over whether or not I should try and talk to you. I?ve. . . ?
?Got it really bad.? He looks amazed.
I smile and nod. ?So, when I kissed you it was. . . you were so close, and I had wanted you for so long. . . I just couldn?t help myself.?
?You wanted me?? Still amazed. Oh yeah, I?m so punching the next person who?s mean to him.
?I still do.? Is my voice usually that low? ?I don?t mean to scare you, or to make you uncomfortable, but I?m not going to deny what I feel, or what I want. Not anymore.?
?Oh.? He grins. Thank God, he?s grinning at me, and it?s not a mean grin, it?s. . . shy, and he?s got his head down slightly, so he?s looking up at me through those amazing lashes.
Damn, he?s cute.
?Since you still want me, I guess that means you liked the kiss, huh??
Is he serious?
?Cause, I honestly don?t remember it that well.?
He doesn?t remember it! Okay, that?s fine. That?s FINE!
?One second you were. . . kissing me, and the next you were being thrown across the room by a scary looking evil thing. . . didn?t really have a lot of time to process, ya know??
Uh. . .why is he moving closer to me? He?s close enough to touch me. Now he?s tracing patterns on my pillow. My Pillow!
?So, since our first kiss was kinda. . . interrupted. . .? He leans forward a bit. Oh God. ?I was hoping. . .? Oh God. Oh God. ?That maybe. . .? He leans in more. He?s so close. Oh God. ?We could. . .? Those honey brown eyes stare into mine. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. ?Try it again??
He wants to kiss me again. He Wants To Kiss Me Again!!! HE WANTS TO. . . Gotta say something! Like what?! Uh. . . uh. . . ?Okay.? That?ll work.
He crosses the inches between us and presses his lips to mine, and. . .
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
?Wow.?
?Yeah,? Xander says breathlessly. ?That definitely deserves a Wow.?
?More.? My fingers tangle in his hair, and pull him back to me. He grins and nibbles at my lips, then suddenly he stops, and. . . laughs?!
?What?? You?re not supposed to laugh, you?re supposed to kiss me senseless, now get to it!!
Still chuckling, he gently nuzzles my cheek. ?Sorry, but is your heart monitor supposed to be beeping that fast??
**********
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