**********
Graham plucked a card from the rack, quickly scanned
the cover and contents and with a sigh he put it
back. Then, he repeated the action with another
card... and then another... and then another... and
then another... and then another.... and then-
"Graham!!!"
The Marine calmly, yet quizzically glanced at his
agitated companion. "What?"
Xander threw up his hands. "Just pick a card already!
I want to get back to the apartment before Angel gets
there."
"Angel's not due to arrive for five or so hours."
"Exactly."
Graham scowled. "Look, this isn't easy."
"Well, it can't be that hard either." Xander picked
up a card. "What about this one? 'To my Dearest
Father'..."
"Too stuffy."
"Okay. How about 'Hey Dad'..."
"Too informal."
"'I Love my Daddy'."
"Do I look like I'm five?"
"Did you say look like, or act like?" Xander
sidestepped out of the way of a not-so-playfully aimed
swing. ?Just pick one!?
"I can?t!? Graham insisted. ?It has to be special.
It has to tell him how much I love him, and respect
him, and miss him."
"Wow. Well, if that's how you feel why don't you just
call?"
"And actually speak to him?! God, no. No, no, cards
are good."
?You know, if you mail it tomorrow it?s never going to
reach him by Sunday.?
?The postmark is what counts.?
?Uh huh. Can I just say, I have never been so glad to
be estranged from my blood relatives.? Xander shook
his head. ?There?s no reasoning with you on this, is
there??
?I am being reasonable.? Graham said, stubbornly
picking up another card.
?Fine. Whatever. I?m going to the comics section,
just meet me there when you?re done.? Xander turned,
more than ready to take his leave of the greeting card
aisle, when something stopped him dead in his tracks.
He spun around again, eyes wide. ?What did you just
say??
Graham blinked. ?Huh??
?It sounded like you just said ?At least nothing
Hellmouthy can happen on this holiday?, but I know you
couldn?t have said that because then you would have
jinxed us all to another holiday filled with
unspeakable torment. You didn?t just do that, right?
Right?!?
?Um. Right.?
?Oh, good.? Xander put a hand to his heart and
smiled. ?Whoo. Was a little worried for a second
there. Okay, find me when you?re done.?
Graham nodded, and watched him go, then turned back to
the cards and uttered two simple little words. ?Uh
oh.?
*****
Xander frowned as he got out the keys to the
apartment. ?Are you okay??
Graham smiled, nervously. ?What do you mean??
?Well, it?s just that ever since we left the store
you?ve been a little... jumpy.?
?No, I haven?t.?
?What?s that behind you??
?What?! Where?!? Graham dropped the bags he was
carrying and spun around, immediately moving into a
defensive position, ready to protect his love from
anything the Hellmouth might have spewed out this
time, including... absolutely nothing. He turned back
to Xander, ire overcoming protectiveness. ?That
wasn?t funny.?
?Then you should have seen it from this angle.?
Xander crossed his arms over his chest. ?Now, are you
going to tell me what?s wrong or am I going to have
to... Oh, for fuck?s sake, you said it, didn?t you??
Graham briefly considered feigning innocence, but from
the younger man?s already stormy expression he knew he
woudn?t get very far. ?Yes, I said it. But, come on,
Xan, it?s Father?s Day. Halloween, I totally get.
Thanksgiving, okay, sure, why not. Christmas, Easter,
all right Flag Day... was a bit of a surprise, but
*Father?s Day*?! What evil thing could possible want
to come out and play on *Father?s Day*??
?What is wrong with you? Do you have a death wish or
something? Stop saying... Oh, my God. Oh, shit...
Graham, look out!?
The Marine snorted. ?That worked once, Xan, but
there?s no way I?d fall for it agaurrrkkk!?
*****
?You do know this is all your fault, right?? Xander
hissed.
?What? I?m not the one who invited her into the
apartment.?
?Uh, she would have *killed* you if I hadn?t.?
?Oh, so now she can slaughter both of us. Good plan.?
Graham said scornfully.
?Well, excuse me for not wanting your intestines to
get ripped out. Next time it?ll be different.?
?There probably won?t be a next time because
*somebody* let her into the apartment!?
?And, what would you have done, Mr. I?m a Big, Stupid,
Commando Guy? Huh? Huh??
?I don?t know, but I?m sure it would have been way
beyond anything you?re capable of!?
?Oh, is that right?!?
?That?s right!?
Suddenly a high pitched squeal broke into the
argument, making both men on the couch wince and turn
towards their captor.
?You?re making bad noises. Bad noises! Baby?s ears
are hurting!? Drusilla stuck out her bottom lip, and
she stomped one dainty foot.
Xander looked at the pouting vampire, then at Graham,
then back at the vampire. ?Uh... we?re sorry, Dru.?
After a few seconds of silence he gave the Marine a
hard nudge.
?Yeah. Sorry.?
?You shouldn?t fight.? Drusilla said, wisely.
?Fighting is bad. Shhhh. Especially in front of the
children.?
Graham looked quizzically at Xander who responded with
a shrug. ?You?re right, Dru,? the younger man said,
?it?s just, sometimes grown-ups have differences of
opinions about certain things and-?
?But, you still love him, right??
?Of course.? Xander said immediately.
?And you?? Dru turned her gaze to Graham.
?Always.? The response came without hesitation.
She clapped her hands together. ?Goody! I knew
nothing was really wrong, but the salt shaker told me
bad tales.?
?We?ve been meaning to get rid of that salt shaker.?
Xander said gravely.
Dru nodded. ?As well you should. Telling lies about
my happy family.?
Graham?s eyebrows rose. ?Her happy what??
?Family.? Xander calmly patted his knee. ?It?s okay,
I think I get what?s going on.?
?Mind sharing??
?No! No, sharing has to wait ?til later!? Dru looked
beseechingly at each man. ?We must wait ?til Angelus
gets here, then my three Daddies can open their
pressies together!?
?Pressies?? Graham?s eyes widened. ?Daddies?!?
?Congratulations.? Xander slapped him on the back.
?And, this is still *so* your fault.?
*****
More often than not, whenever Angel arrived at the
Sunnydale apartment, he was bone tired, completely
wiped out from the ?good fight? back in L.A. The
weekends with his two young humans were meant to
rejuvenate and relax the vampire, who, in-between
dodging tentacles this past week, could only think
about chocolate flavored kisses and strong USMC
trained hands working out the kinks in his back.
So, it came as a bit of a shock to find what was
obviously his lovers? grocery bags sitting in the
middle of the hallway. Obvious because, as far as
Angel knew, no one else in the building read ?The
Amazing Spider Man?, or ate Berry Blast protein bars.
Neither Graham nor Xander would have just left those
things. No, something had happened. Something bad.
Pure rage brought Angel?s demon to the fore and
without thinking of his own safety, or how much a new
lock for the door was going to cost, he burst into the
apartment.
?Hey, Angel.? Graham glanced up from his cards. ?Go
fish.?
?Dammit.? Xander stared at his hand in disgust. ?I
hate this game. Oh, hi, Angel.?
?Daddy!? Drusilla threw down her cards and then threw
herself at her confused Sire. ?You?re home! We?ve
missed you so!?
?What the *hell* is going on here?!? Angel asked in a
roar that made Xander and Graham flinch, and Drusilla
shrink back, lower lip once again threatening to push
out.
Xander stood and motioned to the elder vampire.
?Deadboy, a word, if you please??
?But-?
?In the bedroom.?
?But-?
?*Now*, Deadboy.?
When he heard that Xander was using his ?Don?t mess
with me on this? tone, which so closely mirrored
Willow?s it was frightening, Angel had no real choice.
He meekly followed the younger mortal into the
bedroom.
Graham got up, preparing to join them, but Drusilla
promptly pushed him back in his seat, and climbed onto
his lap. ?While Daddy Xander chats with Daddy Angel,
I thought you and I could have a chat too.?
?Uh...? Graham looked longingly at the closed bedroom
door. ?What kind of... chat??
?The lamp says that you would love to hear all about
my latest tea party.?
*****
When Angel and Xander walked back into the living room
a few minutes later they found an animated Drusilla
happily blathering away to an almost comatose Graham.
?Dru,? She looked up at the sound of her Sire?s
voice. ?We?re all here now, isn?t there something you
wanted to give us??
Drusilla?s face lit up. ?Oooh!? She rushed to the
balcony. ?I left them out here when I visited last
night.?
?You were here last night?? Xander asked.
?Mmm, yes. Somebody forgot to close the blinds,? she
said in a sing song voice. ?Naughty Daddies. Tsk.
Tsk.?
Xander and Graham blushed heavily, and Angel made a
mental note to insist they *demonstrate* just what
went on there the previous night.
Dru was still giggling when she came back into the
living room, a shopping bag in one of her hands. She
reached into the bag and pulled out three nicely
wrapped boxes. ?Here you are. Pressies.?
Angel, Xander, and Graham each dutifully took a
package, though, mindful of the previous times strange
women had come bearing gifts, they tried to only hold
them by the corners.
?Well?? Dru bounced a bit, a trait she had apparently
inherited from Xander. ?I hope you like what I got.
A shop girl at this quaint little haberdashery on the
street where the horsies play-?
Angel sighed. ?That?s Ro-da-o, Dru, not rod-e...
nevermind.?
?She said a special day was fast approaching, a
Father?s day, and that I should get each of my daddies
something because she said...? the vampire scrunched
up her face as she tried to remember, ?that families
can have more than one daddy. Screw the Republicans.?
Dru smiled wistfully. ?She was so sweet.?
?But, sweet in a she was nice to you and helped you
out way, not in a mmm, mmm, good way, right??
?Silly, Xander Daddy. Open your pressie.?
?Okay. Here goes.? Xander tore into the paper...
*****
?I still can?t believe it.? Xander once again found
himself staring fondly at his present. ?A Snoopy tie.
She got me a Snoopy tie!?
Graham lovingly hung up his own tie, which was adorned
with little teddy bears in full Marine dress. ?I
guess having a psychic in the family won?t be all
bad.?
?Yeah, but who?s gonna take her to tumble tots??
Xander asked with a grin.
?I think Angel should be the soccer mom.? Graham
said, the grin on his face just as devilish as his
lover?s.
?He can trade in the Plymouth and buy a minivan.?
?With cup holders.?
?And safety locks.?
?And Barney sing along tapes.?
?And he can wear his martini tie.?
?That should make the other parents feel at ease.?
?Oh, yeah.? The banter ended as their mouths met, and
hands beagn to anxiously work at getting the clothes
that always seemed to be in the way, off.
That was the scene that Angel walked in on, and for a
few moments he simply stood and admired the view.
Then, he said, ?Started the demonstration without
me, huh??
Xander took his mouth off of one of Graham?s nipples
long enough to say, ?You took too long.?
Angel looked chagrined as he took off his shirt. ?I
know, but, hey, do either of you know why the lamp
that used to be beside the couch is in the trash??
**********
the end