**********

?I don?t like this.?  Graham grumbled as he lugged a rather heavy suitcase through the
doorway and into the apartment.

?What part??  Angel asked through gritted teeth as he followed the soldier, laden by
the rest of the matching luggage set.  ?The two of us being turned into valets, or-?

?The *reason* why we had to cart all this stuff here.?

?Oh.  None of us like that.?

Graham dispassionately deposited his bag beside the couch.  ?*She* sure seems to be
getting a kick out of it.?

A low, irritated growl was the vampire?s only response as he dropped his burden by
Graham?s

?Damn, I wish I could get my vocal cords to do that sometimes.?  Graham moved into
the kitchen area.  He snagged a bottled water, and a blood bag from the refrigerator,
taking a large swig from the former and pitching the latter in the vampire?s general
direction.  ?You know, sometimes I wish Xander wasn?t so...?

Angel, having adroitly caught his tossed dinner, joined the mortal in the kitchen, and
retrieved a large mug from one of the cabinets.  ?Nice??

?Yeah, and...?

?Helpful??

?Exactly, and...?

?Easily manipulated by certain people of the opposite sex who are in the Scooby Gang
and shall all remain nameless??

?Bingo.?  Graham grimaced as Angel expertly opened the bag and dumped it?s coppery
contents into the waiting mug.  ?That just doesn?t get any less grosser.?

?Then don?t watch.?  Angel countered, setting about to heat his meal.  ?Go... get our
couch presentable for our esteemed guest.?  The sarcasm was almost thick enough to
drown out the microwave?s tiny electronic ding of completion.

Graham grumbled again.

?You know,?  Angel thoughtfully stared into his cup.  ?We don?t *have* to stay.  I could
go back to L.A. early, you could spend the night on base.  It?s not like anything really evil
is going to happen here.?

?Except for Anya getting all grabby with our Xander.?  The Marine groused.

?Then, think of it that way, we?re not spending the night protecting Anya from some
imaginary, candy bearing, rabbit-?

?We?re protecting Xander from a nymphomaniac, scheming, bunny-fearing, she-beast.?
Graham nodded.  ?Okay, my mission is clearer now.?  A sly smile suddenly spread over his
face.  ?You know what?  I just got a craving for something.?

Angel raised an eyebrow.  ?Craving?  For what??

?Some of those little marshmallow bunnies.?

The vampire?s answering grin was reminiscent of one of his soulless phases.  ?Can we get
different colors??

?Oh, yeah.  And, maybe some solid chocolate ones, you know, for variety.?

?Uh huh.  Definitely.?  Angel nodded, then thought for a moment.  ?You know something
I?ve always wanted??

?What?s that??

?Bunny slippers.?

?Is that right??  Graham, while never having met Angelus, nonetheless seemed to
emulate his smirk perfectly.  ?Well, that?s a slight to your wardrobe we?ll have to
rectify.?

Angel checked his watch, then put his arm around the human?s shoulders.  ?Wal-mart?s
still open now, right??

*****

Angel and Graham had just finished strategically placing Easter products around the
apartment when the door opened, admitting Xander, and Anya.  The ex-demon was
fearfully clinging to the young human.

?Are you sure it?s safe in here??  She whispered dramatically.

Xander rolled his eyes and looked helplessly at his two lovers.  ?I?m positive Ahn.
You?re completely safe... and you can really let go now.?

The matching scowls on Graham, and Angel?s faces dissipated slightly as Anya released
the younger human.  They both moved towards Xander, and flanked him.

Anya rolled her eyes at the territorial display.  ?Males.?  She muttered.  ?Where are
my things??

Without moving a budge from Xander?s side, Angel inclined his head towards the couch.

?Good.?  Anya grabbed one of the smaller bags.  ?I?m going to take a shower.?  She
strode towards the bathroom, but abruptly stopped halfway, and turned around.  She
gave Angel, and Graham each her sweetest smile, which only resulted in sending a chill
up and down their spines.  ?I just wanted to thank you for going to my apartment and
getting my bags so I wouldn?t have to spend more time in transit than necessary on this
horrid, horrid night.?  Her pleased expression faltered a bit and she glanced at Xander.
?That?s all you wanted me to say to them, right??

Xander?s face held a pained expression.  ?Yeah, Ahn.  That was it.?

She grinned and continued her bounce into the bathroom

Xander waited until she had shut the door before he turned to his lovers and offered
them both an apologetic look.  ?Um... it?s the thought that counts??

Angel leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on the younger human?s forehead.  ?And,
we appreciate *you* thinking of us.?

?She really is grateful.?  Xander insisted as he was led over to the couch.  ?Really.  She
is.?  He was gently pushed into the cushions, the vampire and Marine taking their seats
on either side of him.  ?She?s just... just...?  His brow furrowed.  ?Just...?

?Anya??  Graham?s explanation was simple, concise, and accompanied by his large, hand
settling on Xander?s nearest knee.  Angel followed suit, gently rubbing a soothing circle
on the younger human?s other leg.

Xander smiled and sighed, a happy little exhale of breath as the two bodies beside him,
one warm, one cool, pressed closer.  ?You know, I just want to say, I really appreciate
you guys not making a big fuss about this.?

?Fuss??  Angel crinkled his forehead.  ?Why would we make a fuss??

?Because both of you hate Anya.?  The younger mortal said indulgently.

?We don?t exactly *hate* her.?

?Hate is a very strong word.?

?Uh huh.?  Xander rolled his eyes.  ?Anyway, she didn?t want to be alone tonight, you
know how hard this holiday is for her, and I was really expecting, I don?t know, more
dissent about the whole situation.?

?You mean, from us??  Graham asked guilelessly.

?I know, it was silly.?  Xander smiled again as his hands found the ones belonging to his
lovers and gave them a firm, reassuring squeeze.  ?But still, I really appreciate this.
And, I figure, later on, after Anya drops off, I can show you two just how
*appreciative* I am.?

The vampire and Marine grinned their consent, and moved in to seal the deal with a
quick suckle on either side of Xander?s neck, when, suddenly, a scream ripped through
the apartment.

?AAAAAIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE?

?What the, Anya!?  Xander bolted from the couch, rushed to the bathroom, and pulled
open the door, immediately becoming enveloped in a wall of steam.  Angel and Graham
kept their places on the couch and simply cringed.

?I guess it?s too much to hope for that she was screaming because she was attacked by
an actual demonic Easter bunny and not because she finally noticed the stuffed one we
put above the shower head??  Angel asked sullenly.

?Uh... yeah.?

?Damn.?

*****

?How could you two do that?!?  Xander glowered down at the two contrite looking men
sitting on their bed.

?Uh...?

?Um...?

?That was just mean!?

?Well...?

?See...?

?No, that wasn?t just mean, that was, that was... malicious.?  Xander blinked.  ?Wow, who
would have thought that during high school some of that vocabulary stuff actually
seeped in.?  He blinked again.  ?Anyway, if malicious means what I think it does, then
that?s what you were.?

?Yes, the usage of the word is right.?  Angel cleared his throat, the gears in his
centuries old mind had been diligently trying to formulate a feasible excuse, and with an
imaginary clock ticking in the background he decided to go for broke with the least
absurd of his choices.  ?But, that?s not what we were trying to be.?

Xander raised an eyebrow.  ?It?s not??

Graham raised both eyebrows.  ?It?s not??  He let out a little whoosh of air as an
undead elbow caught him in the stomach.  ?It?s not.?  He agreed.

Angel glared at his cohort.  ?We were just trying to be... festive.?

?Festive??

?Festive.?  Graham nodded.

?That?s right, because, you know, Easter only comes once a, uh, year, and since it?s a big
holiday for, um, a lot of humans we-?  Angel threw his arm around Graham?s shoulders.
?thought we should, you know, celebrate.?

Xander looked at the faces of his lovers.  The vampire.  The Marine.  They were so
different in so many ways, yet at that instant they shared one striking similarity: the
?we?ve been completely misjudged and were just trying to do something nice and
innocent, yeah, that?s it? smiles plastered across their faces.?

?Ce-le-brate??  The younger human drew out the word, sounding out each syllable.

?Yeah.  Celebrate.?  Angel nodded as enthusiastically as a souled vampire could.  ?So, we
got some decorations and chocolate-?

?Wait!?  Xander?s nose delicately sniffed the air.  ?There?s chocolate in here??

?In the kitchen.?  Angel said.  ?A whole bag full.?

?Big bag, little bag??

?Big bag.?

Xander chewed his bottom lip.  He was racked with indecisiveness.  On one hand he
knew he should continue taking the other men to task for their little prank.  On the
other hand... chocolate.  The fight was over before it really began, but he still felt
compelled to explore one tiny flaw in their explanation.  He crossed his arms over his
chest and gave them his best Giles expression, a look mixing equal parts disdain and
barely controlled exasperation.

?Just so I?m clear on everything,?  Xander said.  ?The toy above the shower was for
*decoration* because Easter is such a big holiday here and you guys just wanted to be
*festive*.  Am I right??

?Yep.?

?Uh huh.?

?Okay.  And, exactly what part of the holiday were you thinking of when you painted it?s
eyes red and glued construction paper fangs to it?s mouth??

The conspirators stared at him with wide, unblinking eyes.  Somehow they knew ?it
seemed like a good idea at the time? wasn't going to fly in this situation.  Finally, an idea
sprouted in one of their heads.

?Angel!?  Graham blurted out, surprising even himself.  ?That was for Angel.?  He smiled
at the vampire, silently urging him to just go along with whatever might be coming out
of his mouth.  ?He was feeling a little left out, so we took one of the stuffed animals
and... customized it.  It?s a vampire bunny.  Like... uh... Bunnicula!?

If nothing else, Xander knew he had to give him points for creativity.  ?Bunnicula.?  He
gave up.  ?You know what?  Whatever!  Just whatever!  I need chocolate.?

As Xander practically ripped open the door to the bedroom and went back out into the
living area, Angel leaned into his accomplice and, with a frown, asked.  ?What?s a
Bunnicula??

But before Graham could answer yet another scream shattered the tentative peace in
the spacious apartment, immediately propelling the men on the bed into action, because
this time it was clearly Xander?s voice that could be heard yelling-

?NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!?

*****

It was a moment Xander Harris would never forget.  It surpassed the time when he
was six, and having just gotten a hand on the whole reading thing, discovered that
despite its name, Candyland game pieces tasted like cardboard for a reason.  It even
went beyond the moment when, at nine, Willow gently explained to him that ?Willy
Wonka and the Chocolate Factory? was a movie, not a documentary.

It was truly a shocking tableau he was witness to that Easter eve.

While Xander was in the bedroom, wondering when the two men he loved had regressed
into three year olds, Anya had been finding the candy bunnies.  And, when Xander came
out of the bedroom, his first sight was of the ex-demon systematically biting their
heads off.  The decapitated corpses littered the floor around her.  It was an outrage
no true chocolate lover could have stood for.  So, with a few quick, terse phone calls,
and the promise of a newly built bookshelf for the Magic Shop, Anya and her matching
luggage were on their way to Giles? apartment.  At first she was none too pleased with
the new arrangement, but a quick look in Xander?s eyes told her the move was
definitely for the best.

While Xander drove the unusually quiet ex-demon over to Giles? place, Angel and
Graham were sent to Wal-mart in search of unscathed chocolate.

When they returned to their apartment, loaded down with blue plastic bags, they found
Xander already home and solemnly cleaning up the confectionery carnage.

?What a waste.?  The younger mortal said as he sadly shook his head.

Graham put a gentle hand on Xander?s arm.  ?We?ve got more.  Cadbury, and Nestle, and
Hershey?s.  All without preexisting teeth marks.

Xander smiled as he allowed himself to be led away from the disaster in the kitchen.
His spirits buoyed, possibly because of the thought of all that unblemished chocolate,
but more likely due to the slightly chilled hand that had found it?s way into his pants,
and the warm tongue that was lovingly laving his earlobe.

The trio quickly made their way into the bedroom, and as fingers began fumbling with
buttons, Xander asked,  ?Deadboy, could you close the curtains?  I know Buffy already
broke Spike?s telephoto lens, but just in case.  You remember how hard it was to track
down those negatives, not to mention all the copies.?

Angel glowered.  Graham scowled... but then, the Marine reconsidered.  ?Yeah, Spike?s a
jackass, but I am glad we didn?t burn *all* the copies.?  His eyes drifted over to the
bottom drawer of the nightstand.

Two sets of eyes followed his lead, and the temperature in the room seemed to go up
several degrees.  Then Xander swallowed hard, and said, his voice low, and unusually
rough.  ?Deadboy.  Curtains.  Now.?

Angel quickly moved to comply, but stopped short at the sight in front of him.  ?Uh...?

Graham and Xander turned at the peculiar note in their lover's voice.  They too were
struck by the scene on the other side of the pane of glass.

In an instant, it was gone.

Angel stared, flabbergasted, out the window.  ?Did you just see-?

?A pair of red, glowing eyes, floppy ears, a twitching nose and long, curved fangs,
hovering outside the window??  Xander blinked.  ?No.?

Graham managed to stop gaping long enough to say, ?I didn?t see a thing.?

?Oh good.?  Angel quickly closed the curtains.  ?Neither did I.?

Somewhere in the night, a fuzzy little tuft of a tail twitched, and vegetables all over
Sunnydale quaked in fear.

**********

the end