Author: VoceAngelo aka Joey (Voceangelo@aol.com)

Summary: Xander and the boys are doin' it for themselves in the Sex and
the City Roles.  Xander plays matchmaker to Oz.

Rating: R, cursing, implied sex, pushy best friends

Pairings: X/Gr, O/Gunn..teehee

Warnings: Besides the implied sex and cursing... nah

Disclaimer: Buffy, Sex and the City, Chase Bank and Cher do not belong to
me.  Buffy belongs to Joss Whedon and who ever the hell else ones them.
Sex and the City belongs to Darren Star and HBO.  Chase Bank belongs to
Chase.  Cher belongs to Cher.  I make absolutely no money from this.
Litigation would be a waste of time for all of us, dears.

Feedback: Love me or I'll beat you... tell me you love me, and I'll spank
you once... OK, twice... only because you love me.

Notes: Dolores and Faithtastic... I know you're probably going to kill me
for putting Oz and Gunn together, but work with me. MUAH!

Dedication: To Sammy.  I want you around until I choke on my last
cigarette.  Love you muchly.  ~Always. Pookie

***

I went out with the boys and decided that because I was currently in a
wonderful relationship, everyone else should experience my joy.  So, I
began with Oz.

"Oz, I have the perfect guy for you!"

"Oh, Jesus, Xander... I am so not loving the idea of a set up right now."

"But he's great!  And you know if I were going to hook you up with
someone he would only be the cream of the crop."

Wesley glared at me, "What about me?"

"Oh, don't worry, sweetie, you're next.  Then Giles, but I specifically
want Oz to be first."

Giles smiled at me briefly.  He knew where this was headed.

Oz said, "Look, Xander.  I appreciate the sentiment, but I don't want to
be hooked up with anyone.  I'm a loner by nature. Giles, help me out,
please."

"Oh no.  Don't involve me in this.  Besides, I have had sex in the past
three months.  You, my dear, are going on almost six."

"That is NOT fair!"

"Sure it is, sweetie," Giles looked at me and continued, "Pray tell,
Xander.  Is this gentleman caller meeting us for lunch today?"

I smiled, "Look behind you, Sir Giles."

In walked Charles Gunn III.  He was tall and lean.  He had the smoothest
brown skin, and he was an investment banker.  Rich and smart.  I was
seriously hoping Oz didn't ruin this one by going off on some tirade like
he normally does on blind dates.  I got up from my seat.

"Gunn!  Over here!"

The smile that flashed before me was stunning.  Pretty, pretty, pretty.
Damn, I have good taste.

"Hi, Xan."

"Hey there, stranger."

After a quick cheek kiss, I noticed that he was already checking out Oz
even though he also had no idea I was setting him up as well.  I am evil.
Yes, I know.  But I am SO good.

"This is Giles.  This is Wesley, and this is Oz."

"Hey.  I've heard a lot about all of you!"

Giles smiled slyly and said, "Don't listen to anything Xander tells you
about me.  Chances are it's all true and I don't need another person
having a bad impression of me being some sex crazed slut."

"It's OK, Giles," I said, "I told him you pick up men with that line."

"Damn.  Oh well, have seat, handsome."

I had the waiter bring a seat from the table next to us, and he sat next
to me.

"So," Gunn said, "What are we discussing?"

"Blind dates," I said happily.

"I've been on one," Gunn said, "The guy was pretty nice."

"Really?"  I said.

Gunn gave me the I-don't-know-what-you're-up-to-but-spill-it-already
smile, then looked at Oz.  Oz sipped his wine, stirring in his juices.
Wesley and Giles gave each other smug looks.

"Well," I said, "Oz mentioned that he hates blind dates because he's a
loner by nature."

"Not a rebel, just a loner," he said flatly.

Gunn, still smiling, said, "The one I went out on was great.  Besides, I
think of it as a way to make new friends... you know, marketing."

Oz gave him a pointed look, "What did you say you did for a living
again?"

"I'm an investment banker."

"Ah."

Oz was getting annoyed, and he was ready to rip this poor guy to shreds.
No wonder he was an attorney.

"Oz," I said, "the waiter is coming around.  What is it you want again?"

"So," he continued, ignoring my badly executed butt-in, "Marketing you
say?  Are you suggesting that we flaunt our goodies in public as if we
were prostitutes with expense accounts?"

Gunn looked at him, "That's not what I said..."

"And if we quotes "market" ourselves, we can find a man?  Are we on
display like flatware at Williams-Sonoma?"

"You are taking this the wrong..."

"Furthermore, what is wrong with being a loner?  A lot of interesting
people were loners.  Take Walt Whitman for instance.  He was quite
possibly the greatest gay poet of the 19th century, yet he lived alone
for many years."

"Oz, chill out!"

Oz finished first in his litigation class.  No one tells him to chill
out.

"I refuse to chill out!  I will continue talking as much as I damn well
please!"

My head was in my hands.  He screwed this up so badly.  Giles and Wesley
were straining to keep from bursting out laughing.  Oz continued to rant.

Gunn looked down at his watch, cutting Oz off, "Xander, I have to go.
Gentlemen and Oz, it's been a pleasure, truly."

Giles and Wes were practically spitting now.  They were beet red from
trying to restrain themselves.  Gunn walked around the table and headed
right... to Oz?

"Great!  Another person who obviously cannot handle a gay man with a
big..." Gunn cut Oz's last work off with a kiss on his mouth.  Oz looked at
Gunn wide-eyed, almost childlike, his bright blue eyes as wide as
saucers.  Gunn had his brown hand against  Oz's pale face.

"What's your full name, Oz?"

In the smallest voice I have ever head him speak in, Oz said, "Daniel
Osbourne.  I'm an attorney."

Gunn spoke back just as softly, "No wonder you're so confrontational.  I
like that."  He went into his pocket and put his business card in Oz's
hand.

"Please call me for drinks soon.  I'll get your number from Xander."

Still wide eyed, Oz said, "OK."

"Can I get another sweet, little kiss from you?"

"OK."

They kissed again, a little deeper this time with just a little tongue.

"Bye, call you soon."

"Bye," Oz said meekly.

Gunn walked out of the restaurant.

Wes and Giles were still trying to hold it all in when I said, "AAAHHH!!!
O MY GOD!  HE KISSED YOU, OZ!!" Wesley and Giles hollered with laughter.
Then, they said in unison, "THAT WAS FAAAAAABULOUS!!!!"

"Did the temperature in here rise, or is just me?" Oz said, fanning
himself absently.

Wesley said, "No, Oz.  It is slightly hotter in here than it was before."

I said, "I'll drink to that."

Giles smirked, "You'd drink to the opening of a garbage can."

"So?!"

Oz looked at me, still dazed from that kiss, "You didn't tell me he was
cute."

"That's because you weren't supposed to know you were getting fixed up,
sweetie."

Giles said, "Oz, if it's any comfort, he didn't know either.  Which makes
it even more fabulous because he kissed you of his own accord."

Oz looked at me again, "Is it me, or are gay getting more aggressive?"

I gave it some thought.  We've all heard stories of how shy boys got
come-ons from loud mouthed men all the time.  We have seen the typical
aging letch at work and in his element in a seedy downtown bar.  But, was
Gunn proof that because gay men now have more money and more power than
ever before, we became more aggressive when pursuing a potential lay?  Do
we carry our business attitudes from the workplace to the WonderBar?  Are
affluent gay men more sexually aggressive?

I looked at Oz after lifting myself from my reverie and said, "I don't
know, sweetie, but you are going to go for drinks with him tonight,
right?"

"Fuck Yeah!"

"Good show," Wesley said.

Giles chimed in, "Thoroughly entertaining and endearing."

We clinked glasses.

I called Graham at home later on that night.  I knew if he came over I
would get absolutely nothing done, so I pretend-barred him from coming to
my house.  I did it with a baby voice so that he would think I was cute.
Needless to say, it worked.  So, anyway, I called and asked, "Do you
think we're getting more sexually aggressive?"

"Us?"

"No, not us- us.  Gay men in general.  Are we becoming more aggressive
with our approaches to each other the more money we make?"

"As in the bar setting?"

"Well, there's one example?"

"Wasn't it worse before?  Like in the seventies?"

"I don't know.  I'll have to ask Giles."

"Wasn't he in England in the seventies?"

"Yeah, so?"

"Dude, England isn't New York."

"Gray, a fag is a fag whether he's a pouf or a Nancy boy or a homo or a
fudge-packer."

"You've got a mouth and half on you, dude."

"Hey.  What can I say?  I am Sarcasmo.  Here me roar.  WOOF!"

Some laughter, then Graham said, "So, what are you doing right now?"

"Well, I've got a piece due in about three days that is no where near
being finished if I don't get my little ass in gear."

"Cool.  I know I can't come over though.  So, anyway, what are you
wearing?"

"My tank top and a pair of flannel pajama bottoms.  Why?"

He did this Eartha Kitt growl that made me nearly jump out of my skin.

"Oh my Goddess, that is so scary!"

"I'll do it again if you mention you're wearing flannel ever again."

"Well, would it help to know that I'm naked underneath my clothing?"

"Now, you're talking my language."

"You silly Canadian."

"You sexy American."

"Growl for me again, Gray."

"Grrrooww!"

"That is so freaky."

"Wanna know something even freakier?"

"Sure, bring it on."

"I'm naked, not under my clothes either."

I smiled and thought, 'Xander, you have a choice: finish the piece, hand
it to your editor, get paid, or have good, hot and nasty sex with your
boyfriend, be late with the column, get penalized, and get your pay
docked.' I chose to do what any dedicated writer would do.

"I'll be at your place in ten minutes."

Hey!  It's research for my column!

So while I was busy with a mouthful of Graham, Gunn and Oz were having an
official first date.  They decided on drinks at Bowery Bar in lower
Manhattan.

"So what kind of law do you practice, Oz?"

"Intellectual Property.  Copyrights mostly.  I handle some of the
copyright infringement work for Cher, and you?"

"Mergers and Acquisitions mostly.  But I do some e-trade work with Chase.
I also do some personal finance work for Dawson Wagnerite over on 65th
and Park Avenue."

"Wow.  You're a busy boy then!"

"Not all the time.  I've got some down time right now.  This will last
until about September.  Then it'll pick up again.  Nature of the
business, you know"

"Yeah, the market is funny like that."

"So, tell me.  Why is someone like your self still single?  I'm surprised
someone didn't snatch you up already." Oz half smiled at Gunn and looked
into his drink, "Well, besides the boys, I haven't really had the chance
to actually meet anyone.  I was pushing to make junior partner in four
years and I did.  Now it's about a year and half later, and I still
haven't had a real long term relationship with anyone."

"That's too bad.  But, now you have all the time you need, right?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

Gunn crooked his finger beckoning Oz to come closer to him.  He did so,
and Gunn whispered, "You are so undeniably sexy.  I would really love to
make love to you tonight."

Oz smiled and blushed and looked back down into his drink

Gunn laughed, "I take it that was a yes?"

"Well, yes and no.  Yes, I would love to make love to you.  No, not
tonight."

"Why not?  Don't you find me attractive?"

"Gunn, you're gorgeous.  But, and I'm going to hate myself for saying
this, but... I'd like to get to know you better first."

"Why would you hate yourself for saying something that sweet?"

"Because, Xander asked me for some advice on his relationship with his
new man, and I told him to quit waiting and fuck him already."

Gunn smiled and stroked Oz's chin with his thumb.

"And you don't want this to be like that, right?"

"Hey.  I'm a loner, not a rebel, remember?"

Gunn laughed, "Could I get another sweet little kiss from you."

Oz, with the biggest grin he's probably ever had on his face, said, "I
guess you like the way I kiss."

"Oh yeah."

"May it never be said that I'm a tease."

Oz leaned over and kissed Gunn.

So, maybe we are getting more aggressive.  Some would say you have to
look at people individually.  I say that obviously with all the money and
power we have amassed over the past twenty years since the Stonewall
riots, we have every right to be as aggressive as we need to be to get
what we want.  We should not limit ourselves to downtown bars.  We should
hold hands in public and kiss each other in the middle of the most crime
ridden areas of this city of ours and not get physically or verbally
attacked.  So, my fellow fairies come on to the first sweet young thing
you see in a pair of Calvin Klein boot cut jeans!  We've earned it!\