(Currently Untitled)

by Dorian Gray

I don’t own Gainax. I only own DVD’s of Eva. If you want them, you can go to hell, they’re mine :P. Please don’t sue me, I have too much money :P.

At 11.30 at night, most normal humans have succumbed to the state known as sleep. Tonight was no exception. Yes, indeed, most NORMAL humans were indeed asleep.

However, these people couldn't even RELATE to the word normal, let alone use it in a casual, day-to-day context.

Shinji Ikari groggily got up from the couch. Asuka had gone to spend the weekend at Hikari's apartment; partly, Shinji suspected, to get away from Misato.

Ever since Kaji had died, Misato frequently had sudden, unexpected changes of mood. In the morning she would wake up, amidst her beer cans on her not-to-clean futon, get up, drink more, and throw herself into the children's lives. She could change from sobbing, manic-depressive to cheerful and caring and energetic without warning, and that had indeed happened on more than one occasion.

Earlier that night, Misato had half-lead, half-forced Shinji to stay and watch a series of mushy, romantic 'chick flicks', some dating back to the last century. Poor Shinji had been forced to sit next to Misato with her arm around his shoulders, enduring her ‘discussion’ about times in college, before she joined NERV, and occasionally getting sprayed with her (seemingly endless) supply of alcohol.

Shinji slowly got up and tried, unsuccessfully, to escape Misato's grasp without rousing her from her alcohol-induced slumber.

'Shinji...' Misato slurred.

Shinji visibly winced, both from his blunder and from sheer weariness. 'Yes, Misato?'

She lifted her head up. '...could you get me another Yesibu?'

Shinji sighed. 'Yes, Misato.'

He silently tiptoed to the kitchen. Back on the sofa, Misato promptly, and visibly, passed out.

'Mis-' Shinji started, before seeing her limp body lying on the sofa. He half-rolled his eyes and gave a small smile. 'You have to stop acting like this, Misato.'

Shinji slowly approached, turning off the TV and the ancient DVD player on his way through. He sat down on the opposite end of the sofa, carefully put the can of beer to the side, and tried to put Misato in a position that had a bit more dignity.

'Sleep well, Misato' he whispered, and turned to go. At the critical point of movement, his eyes shot downward, seeing the revealing outfit she had been wearing.

His nose promptly began to bleed.

Go on... you know you want to... said a small voice in the back of his head.

...do what?

You know... responded the voice.

...do WHAT?

You want to fuck her.

...I do not!

The voice was slowly getting stronger.

You want to fuck her.

I DO NOT!

You want to fuck her. You want to rape her. You want to take her everywhere. You want her to kneel at your feet and beg for it. You want to hurt her and see her cry and whimper in pain.

I DO NOT!

Yes you do.

Shinji found himself slowly lowering to Misato's chest.

Stop it! Stop it! STOP IT!

The voice was strong now, and malevolent.

You have...

Shinji, or whatever was controlling him, almost tore Misato's shirt in half and began moving up and down her breast.

...no choice.

In his mind, Shinji screamed, even as the thing controlling his body moved up and down Misato's body, licking and kissing and biting and clawing and...

STOP! STOP! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP! PLEASE, JUST STOP!

He could almost feel the other voice smile. Finally, he snapped when he saw himself pulling down Misato's short skirt and underwear. He tried to look away, but some force held him in place, making him see everything.

STOP STOP STOP! DAMN YOU STOP! DONT-

Whatever force was controlling Shinji ignored his cries, and without hesitation, drove himself inside her.

Shinji was almost insane with rage and shame. STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT YOU SON OF A BITCH! I'LL KILL YOU I'LL KILL YOU I'LL KILL YOU...

After what seemed an eternity, Shinji (or the force controlling him) finally pulled out of Misato, and whatever force that controlled Shinji left him.

'Oh god...' Shinji whispered, disjointed images of the past hour flashing in his mind.

Misato... asleep... her body... raping her... her soaked, ruined clothes...

He rose, too immersed in his own grief and shame to look after Misato, and walked slowly to his room. He never noticed the mess of the room, he only barely noticed himself kicking the Yesibu can he placed there a lifetime earlier, he never remembered opening and shutting the door to his room, he never remembered sitting in the smallest, darkest corner he could find. He drew his legs to his chest, and held his head in his hands.

For hours, the only sound coming from the room was the teen boy's constant whisperings of Oh god oh god oh god...

Finally, he raised his tear-streaked face.

Oh god, not again...

TBC

Yeah, I know the formatting is fucked, but watch me not care. I know this is a controversial-ish thing to write about, but just see where I’m going with this. Please?