...denial... so many choices in so little time four years of future leaves me guessing. life at a crossroads the question falls to me i ignore it, pretend it doesn't exsist. don't want to think about it don't want to worry not anxious to pull up roots in no hurry. denial works just fine, keeps me walking blind. close my ears. close my eyes. shut it all out. hide from myself. don't think. go through naive. don't care. i've got what i need. don't want to grow up. don't want to change. my rut is comfortable. it makes me happy to be where i am. the confusion in my head against that of my heart is easy to quiet. i've still got four months. four months of false peace. but peace is peace. it's quiet. maybe too quiet.