Food for Thought

A man was running quickly through a forest trying not to hit anything. He couldn't see very well because it was night and too dark. Suddenly he felt a pain in his leg and fell to the ground, he realised someone had tripped him up. He looked up and saw a tall woman, although he could not quite make out who she was because of the darkness. "I'm pleased you got our message." Another women said, this one was slightly smaller but still seemed strong and able to fight from what he could tell. "Yes I got your message, it seemed urgent." "Oh it is." The tall one replied. Xena and Gabrielle were walking through a lot of think forest leading to the Amazon village where Kallopiea was staying. In the distance they could hear the Amazons were having a ceremony of some kind. "Strange." Gabrielle said, "They usually only have ceremonies at night." "I'm sure they have their reasons. Maybe their making Kallopiea howl at the sun until the moon comes up." Xena joked. "Xena do you really think it a good idea to let Kallopiea come to Rome? I mean what about your vision?" "Gabrielle, I don't want Kallopiea to miss out on this. The only place she has ever been is Greece and…. well her home. Besides Rome is a beautiful place, with loads of statues and other things Kallopiea's bound to enjoy. I would be perfect if it didn't have any…." "Romans." Gabrielle interrupted. "Well, yeah." Xena joked again. Suddenly four women came bursting out of the trees and landed on the ground just in front of Xena and Gabrielle. They were all wearing strange masks making it impossible to tell whom they were. Xena and Gabrielle raised their hands above their head showing the Amazon symbol of peace. Then they all removed their masks. Xena nor Gabrielle didn't recognise two of them but the other one's were Varia and Kallopiea. "Xena, Gabrielle what are you doing here?" Kallopiea asked suspiciously. "Actually we're here for you." Xena replied "Why?" "We're going to Rome and wondered whether or not you wanted to come along too?" Gabrielle asked smiling. "I do not enjoy travelling." "Oh come on Kallopiea, your enjoy it. Rome's great! Full of coliseums." Xena said. "And Romans." Gabrielle interrupted. "I do not like Romans, do you not remember that they are constantly attempting to invade my country? First Julius Caesar now this other Emperor, what is his name?" "Claudius." "That is it." "Well it was just a thought." Gabrielle said disappointedly. "What is your purpose for going there?" "Let's go back to the tribe." Varia suggested, "You can tell us on the way." Xena and Gabrielle gave a quick nod in agreement and started walking in the direction of the Amazon village. "So why do you wish to go there?" Kallopiea asked again. "Ares has gone on a new quest for power, he wants to make the official Roman religion the same as the Greek. So we need to talk to Emperor Claudius before he does and suggest that he uses Eli's religion instead." Gabrielle explained. "Ares should realise that Claudius wont use the Greek religion. Rome is to proud to merely take another religion." "I know, but he is going to try so we have to stop him. Ares being worshipped in Greece again is bad enough but if he is worshipped through-out the entire Roman Empire then all of Eve's and Eli's work is wasted." "When do you plan to leave?" Kallopiea asked. "Tonight. We have ordered a ship at a dock very near here and plan to leave tonight." "Then I will join you." "Good." Xena said and followed Kallopiea in to her Amazon hut. "So how has life been with the Amazons?" Gabrielle asked. "Acceptable. But many of their so called rituals are insane." Gabrielle burst out laughing. "I thought you would like them." She joked. Kallopiea looked at Gabrielle strangely. "Well I do not. " There was a silent pause for a while. "Xena, how are your visions?" "Actually they're fine I haven't had one since we last met." "Interesting. I had better prepare my things for tonight." Kallopiea said and Xena and Gabrielle left the hut. Later on that night Xena, Gabrielle and Kallopiea went to the docks and found the ship Xena had previously mentioned. Inside was the man they brought it from. "Are you ready to go?" He asked. "Yeah." Xena said They all got on the ship and decided to sleep through the night so they would be ready for the day ahead. In the morning they were all woken by the sound of the ship's captain screaming. They quickly got up and drew their weapons ready for what ever he was screaming at. They looked over the side of the ship and realised why he was screaming. Joxer was stood on the water walking over to the ship. "Hey guys, look what I can do!!!" He shouted while climbing into the ship, "Aphrodite never said anything about walking on water!" Gabrielle quickly went over to the captain. "It's OK." She started, "This is our friend Joxer…he's a magician." "Joxer, what are you doing here?" Xena asked. "Just thought I'd pay you a visit. Where are we going?" "Rome." Kallopiea answered. "I see you told Kallopiea about her being dead in the visions then." Joxer said smiling. Kallopiea looked over to Xena shocked. "What does he mean I was dead in the visions?" "Look Kallopiea, we were going to tell you as soon as we got to Rome." "Was that why you made me stay in the Amazon village?" "Yeah." Gabrielle said walking away from the still pale captain. "I can take care of myself I do not need you to tell me where to stay for protection." "I thought you'd be more worried about dying then about the Amazon village." Xena said suspiciously. "If it is my fate to die with you two then there is nothing I can do to change it. I just as well accept it. As for the Amazon village, they have group bathing I refuse to accept that." "So what did you do?" Joxer laughed. "I bathed when they were asleep." Kallopiea replied sternly. "We didn't want to keep it from you, we were going to tell you, we just had to find the right time. Sorry." Gabrielle said. "Do not apologise, just improve." Kallopiea replied and walked off. A few hours later the ship reached the outside of Italia. They were quite near Rome but it would be a long walk to get there. "Xena how are we going to get into the Emperor's palace. Same as always just burst our way in?" Gabrielle asked "Yep." "You have done this before?" Kallopiea asked. "Um…. couple of times." The four warriors travelled to the heart of Rome when they got there they walked straight into the Emperor's palace and into his room. "How did you get in here?" The man inside asked. "That's not important." Xena said, "Where's the Emperor I need to talk to him." "I'm the Emperor." The man replied scared. They looked at the man in front of them. He was an old man who was very thin and sickly looking. "You're the Emperor of Rome?" Joxer asked laughing "Yes, and who might you be, are you assassins? Here take what you wont just don't kill me." Claudius pleaded throwing coins at them. "We don't want your money, we're not assassins." Xena assured. "Oh. Well who are you then?" Before Xena had the chance to answer a women came through the door and walked over to Claudius. "Who are these people?" The women said. "My name is Xena, these are my friends Gabrielle, Kallopiea and Joxer." "What do you want?" Claudius asked with a shiver of fear in his voice. "We're here to talk to you about the religion of Rome." "Oh." The women said. "Then let me introduce myself my name is Aggripina. I'm the niece and wife of Emperor Claudius. If you wish to talk about the current rule of Rome then I suggest we do so over lunch." Aggripina suggested kindly. "Sounds good to me." Xena agreed nodding her head. Aggripina walked out of the room followed by Xena, Gabrielle, Kallopiea and Joxer. "Isn't the Emperor coming?" Gabrielle asked. "No. All matters of Roman rule are dealt with by myself. Although, if you wouldn't mind, I would like to ask my son Nero to the feast." "OK." Gabrielle replied Aggripina walked around the palace over to her son's room. When Nero came out he looked a lot different to his father. He was slightly taller and looked more intelligent although he also had a strange dark look about him. "This is my son, Nero. Nero please meet Xena, Gabrielle, Kallopiea….and sorry what was your name." She said looking at Joxer. "Joxer, the Mighty." "Pleased to meet you." Nero greeted "Come, let's go to the banquet hall." Aggripina suggested Again Aggripina lead the four warriors to another room. Inside was a huge, long, thin table. On it was food of every kind from different places all over the world. "Now what was it you wished to discus?" Aggripina said while sitting down at the table. "Well, at the moment Rome has no official religion. I have come here to discus the possibility of it taking on the way of love, the way of Eli." Xena said. "Really! Forgive me Xena but this is not what I would expect from you. The last time you came to Rome you killed the Emperor I believe, now you're here preaching peace." "I do it for the good of Rome. If it went on to another religion like Greek for example it could cause chaos amongst your people. Surly Rome would never just steal the religion of another country. The way of peace is new and still has no official place of worship, and you have no official religion of worship." "It's interesting," Nero said in a deep, confidant voice, "Only yesterday I had a man advising me to start an official religion as well." "Don't you mean advising the Emperor?" Gabrielle asked. "I am the next in line to be Emperor, some matters go through me instead." "Which religion was that?" Xena asked. "That is no concern of your." Suddenly Claudius came into the banquet hall. "I have decided to join you after all." He said smiling insanely then sat down next to Aggripina. Aggripina picked up a plate of mushrooms from the centre of the table and handed then to her husband to eat. "So this other religion, are you going to accept it?" "Not yet no, although I must admit his offer stands a lot more ground then yours." "But the religion we want you to accept is for a good reason. Rome will benefit fron Eli's words." "It sounds to me that you are doing this for your own reasons, maybe because your daughter is the messenger of Eli, is this really for the benefit of the people of Roman. And you…" Nero said pointing to Kallopiea, "Judging from your clothes you come from Brittania. Why would you help us just after my father invaded your country." "What?" "Oh didn't you know. We beat the last of the Iceni tribe off only a few weeks ago, Once the rebellion fell there was no one left to defend the country and so that fell too." Kallopiea stood up and ran over to Nero. She quickly grabbed the back of his head and slammed it down on the table. "You're lying!!!" She said viciously. "No I'm not Kallopiea. If you hadn't left your country maybe it wouldn't be part of Rome today." Kallopiea took her axe off her belt and was raised it to hit Nero. Before she could Xena kicked it out of her hand. Nero stood up and looked Kallopiea in the eye and smiled patronizingly. "Perhaps it would be better if we continued this conversation in my room." Aggripina said to Xena and walked out of the banquet hall back towards her bedroom. Kallopiea, Joxer, Gabrielle, Nero and Claudius followed. "Nero go back to your room." Aggripina said then she looked at one of the Roman guards who stood at the doorway of the banquet hall. "Find out a room for Joxer, Kallopiea and Gabrielle." She said, the guard walked off with the three following him. "Now then Xena, why don't Claudius, and you go back to his room to talk over this matter further." "Good idea." Xena replied as she watched Gabrielle, Kallopiea and Joxer turn a corner and go out of sight. "I know what I am saying may seem strange, but you should defiantly have the way of peace as your official religion." Xena begged to Claudius. "I do agree that your gods seem terrible, maybe we should look into this Eli chap after all." He replied. "That's all I ask." Xena said smiling. "Well Xena I must be getting on with things, I need to sleep you know." Claudius laughed. Xena looked outside the window, it must have been 12 noon at the latest. "Perhaps you should rest too?" "I generally only sleep at night." Xena said. Claudius laughed. "Only at night, oh that's a good one. I will find a guard to take you back to your friends." "Kallopiea, are you OK?" Gabrielle asked. "Fine." She replied. "Nero is just trying to annoy you. Britannia was already half Roman when you left. There won't be much difference." "Most things were Roman, but my village wasn't. My brother has probably been taken away to fight with the Roman bastard." Suddenly Xena burst through the door of the room, "I swear these Roman Emperors get more insane each time. The man has gone to sleep, it's midday." "Do you think you got your point across?" Gabrielle asked. "I don't know. He seems more interest then Nero but still I would have preferred talking to Aggripina." "I don't know. Aggripina seems to be slightly strange to me." Kallopiea said. "How so?" Gabrielle asked. "I know nothing about Claudius but when I was in Brittanna I once read about Aggripina. Nero isn't Claudius's son, Aggripina had him when she was married to her first husband but they were banished from Rome by Caligula. Now I could be wrong but I am sure somewhere I heard that the current Emperor, which means Claudius, is the uncle of Caligula. Making Aggripina Caligula's cousin or sister. You would have to do something pretty bad for your brother or cousin to banish you." "Caligula was insane though." Xena said "I know it just seems strange. They would have had to do something." "When Aggripina was banished, who would have been next in line to be Emperor if Caligula died?" Xena asked "I have no idea, why?" "I think your right, what self respecting Roman Emperor would adopt the son of his wife and make him their heir." Xena said. "And Nero does seem to have to much say over his father's rule maybe they're…do you think they might be…" Xena interrupted Gabrielle. "Planning an assassination attempt on Claudius." "Xena. I have just thought of something." Kallopiea said, "You killed Caligula, well you made Caligula kill himself but it is the same thing really…If you were planning to kill an Emperor and cover it up wouldn't the best time to do it be when the person who killed the Emperor before happened to be in the palace?" "We had better leave." Xena said and ran out of the door. Gabrielle, Kallopiea and Joxer quickly followed but as soon as they turned the first corner 20 Roman guards stopped them. Aggripina pushed her way to the front. "The Emperor died today." She started, "The cause of his death is still unknown, since you were the last to see him you are all suspects." She said to Xena. Xena screamed her famous war cry them flipped over the guards and started to attack them with her sword. Gabrielle, Kallopiea and Joxer all drew their weapons and started fighting the Romans from the front. Aggripina tried to run out of the conflict but Xena stopped her by knocking her out and continued to fight the Romans. Gabrielle hit two Romans each side of her with the handle of her Sais then ducted the thrust of a Roman sword in front of her. She quickly stood up right again then kicked him in the face. Kallopiea was attacking with her axe and using the long straight wooden handle like a staff, knocking them out but not killing them. After a few minutes of fighting they managed to knock out or kill all of the Romans. Xena grabbed Aggripina, who had just woken up again, and put her sword to her throat so that none of the Romans around the palace dared to attack them. "Take me to Claudius's body!" Xena demanded. Aggripina did as she asked and took Xena to the infirmary where Claudius's body was .Xena walked over to it and looked at it. "You poisoned him didn't you?" Xena asked sternly. "Claudius was a weak old man, my son should rule Rome not him. Today at the banquet I put poison on his mushrooms and Nero made sure there was a reason that you two would have to talk alone before he died." Suddenly Nero came in the room with a sword, "You will not spoil my chances of becoming Emperor of Rome Xena." "Stay back Nero or I'll kill your mother." "My mother, oh what a shame that would be." He said sarcastically and continued walking over to Xena. "Nero stay back." Xena warned again. Nero ignored her and continued walking still. When he got close enough he raised his sword and slit his mothers throat. Xena watched in shock as his mother's body fell to the ground dead. Then Nero attacked Xena. Xena blocked him and beat him to the ground. When he was on the floor she raised her sword over him and was about to kill him when hundreds of Romans came running through the door. She looked at a nearby window, quickly she ran over to it and jumped through it. Kallopiea, Gabrielle and Joxer followed and they all continued to run until they were out of danger and in a busy market. "That did not go well." Kallopiea said. "Ya got that right." Joxer replied. "You're wrong." Xena interrupted. "What do you mean? Ares has already asked Nero to use the Greek religion. Nero himself said that Ares was doing a better job at convincing him then you." Gabrielle smiled and Xena. "The night before we went to Rome Xena and I talked to an old friend." "Explain." "As soon as we finished our fight with Ares in Sparta we sent a message to a friend of ours called Beowulf. The night before we came to your Amazon village we met in the Amazon forest. "Yes I got your message, it seemed urgent." Beowulf said. "Oh it is." Xena replied. We helped Beowulf to his feet and lead him to our camp. "So let me get this right, you want me to go to Rome." Beowulf began. "So that I can meet with Emperor Claudius and tell him of a brand new religion perfect for Rome." "Yes." Xena confirmed. "So what is this religion?" "You can name it that's not important. The religion is very similar to Greek now I have recently found out that the Emperor's son Nero loves Greece. When he finds out about this unknown religion that is similar to Greek in everyway he is going to love it and hopefully persuade his father to use it." "How can I prove the religion is real…when it isn't?" "With these." I said handing him lots of scroll with stories about the great things the 'Roman' Gods have done." "Did you write these?" He asked. "Everyone." "What happens after I've try to convince him to take on this religion?" "By then Gabrielle and I will be in Rome. Persuading Claudius to use the way of Eli instead." "Why?" "He wont like it, it's too peaceful for Rome. But he will realise how much better your religion is. Trust me after he hears our pled he will take your religion as fast as possible." "When do I leave?" "Now." You see Nero wasn't talking about Ares, he was talking about Beowulf." "Your plans are not going to work Claudius is dead." Kallopiea reminded them. "But Nero isn't and he's even more likely to go for the Roman religion that Beowulf gave him. It's Greek but bloodier." "How will we know if Beowulf was successful?" "Oh he was." Xena said. "How can you possible know that?" Xena pointed over to a man walking over to them, "Because that's Beowulf." The man was smiling at them with a successful look on his face. "I have just spoken to Nero." He said. "He is going to make to announce the religion when he announces he is the new Emperor." "Well let's not wait around for that." Xena smiled they started making their way back to the ship. "You two could have thought about telling me this secret plan of yours before we went to Rome." Kallopiea told Xena and Gabrielle "Sorry." Gabrielle said "You know if we are going to travel together you are going to have to start telling me things." "I will in the future." Xena replied "You better." Kallopiea said and ran off to talk to Beowulf "You know Xena I've been thinking about something." Gabrielle said. "What's that?" "Mushrooms." "What?" Xena laughed. "That's not the way anyone wants to go really is it? I mean dying from eating mushrooms." Gabrielle laughed. "What cause crucifixion is better of course?" "I'd prefer to be crucified then die of eating a mushroom." Gabrielle laughed. "And I thought the Roman Emperors were mad." Food for Thought by Kitana copywrite Kitana 2002©

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