This site is here for xlubi's throughout the world, for people who find themselves on the fringe of Chabad, realising they are not mainsteam, and at any stage of this realisation, and/or awareness, whether like myself, first realising this while still being a frum and chassidisher bocha, doing smicha in 770, or for some it might be shaving their beard a little or a lot, or hanging out with Litvish Rabbi's or Hassidishers, or while putting on jeans under their skirts... for some getting smashed in basements or small apartments in the Heights or at the Ohel, others it might be when they're shopping and hanging out across Eastern Prkway.
For Some it might be Sunbathing in Prospect Park, going to clubs, bars and cinemas on Flatbush Ave, or up town. For others it might be while smoking up with Rusta's on Nostrad or Utica or with friends in Flatbush, hanging out in the Village or down town, or dancing, singing and getting stoned at Carlibach. Others might realise it when they are putting teffilin on with people but they haven't, and probably wont, or putting Teffillin on with people on Tel Aviv Beach. Finding a boy/girl friend on Miftzoyim, taking acid in Berkeley, or following the Dead, frying out on Russia Shlichus, or in Thailand, or in the extreme only when they are eating McDonalds with their non-Jewish boy/girl friend. At whatever place people find themselves, realising they don't fit into the Lubavitch mould, it is this realisation that makes one an xlubi!
To know that there are other people, in fact many others, who for whatever reason, also don't fit in , helps make you feel a little better, less alone. To imagine that there are hundreds, possibly thousands of people who have gone through similar things to you, and survived, makes you feel a bit more sane, and helps give you the confidence to be yourself, even if people try and put you in your place.
This site was set up to support people and provide a loving virtual community for them to talk and share experiences. and if a bit of Lubi Bashing happens, big deal! if it might help them feel better! and why not, many xlubi's have taken their fair share of being bashed by Lubi's!
There seems like there are a few people out there who are angry with me persoanlly, for building this site, but i don't really see why there might be any justification for this as i didn't ask you to visit the site! And if you don't like it no one asked you to stay and have a look around! If you do or did, then you have to ask yourself why? and maybe even the question, Am I an xlubi? Maybe that's why it angers you so? Anyways whatever it is you are angry about it isn't me or this site! it could be the general failure of the system? And this site is only the tip of the iceberg, it is just a very small reflection of the magnitude and reality of the situation!
And if, for whatever reason people are angry with me personally, I seriously suggest they read my Article titled 'On A New Torah -Atzmuss and the Status of the torah in the Messianic Era...' which REALLY explains my reasons for frying out! and Learn more 'Inyanie Geula & Moshiach!'
I feel have to remind people that just because I'm the webmaster of this site does not mean that I'm the only one contributing to it. As some of you have sort of realised, the story in 'Stories' doesn't say anything about leaving Chabad, quite the contrary, it actually tells someone's journey towards it! Moreover, this story isn't my story, but that of a friend, who was at one time a Lubavitcher and therefore now an xlubi!
Cafe Kabbalah, is from a number of different xlubi's Arey Kaplan (obm) Simmon Jackobson, and others who don't want to be named (some of whom still believe they are legitimate Lubi's!)
The poems are also by several other friends who is are 'x'lubis, that is, is still 'Lubitchers' of some kind, but just not a conventional ones! The Links page is completely arbitrary and I deffinitely welcome any non-conventional lubi or xlubi websites, (bring 'em on!) The general feel of the site has been discussed at some length with a number of xlubi's worldwide, who provided suggestions and comments about how its put together and general format, (although unfortunately not the spelling, as I'm quite profoundly dyslexic)
Oh and just because I am /was a Meshichist doesn't mean that this site is OK! There are Loads of people from every imaginable part of Chabad that just don't feel they fit in, and some that have fried out, some Meshichist, some Aguchnicks, some Jewnicks some Ginsbergnicks, some Rashabnicks and even some dontgiveash*tnicks!
The controversial picture of the Rebbe, is of my own doing, although the people i asked didn't seem to object, possibly because they know me? and many people who don't keep on protesting and asking me why it is there etc... so now i'll tell you. The truth is, that people that know me, know that however fry i may become I still have this fascination and almost obsession with the Rebbe, his life and his teachings, and is the current focus of my PhD, (some of which you can read on the 'Articles' page)
When i first saw this picture of the Rebbe, I was filled with such awe and deeply renewed respect for the Rebbe, whom i take my hat off too! A Rebbe who was more mysterious, more amazing, and more dynamic than i Had ever imagined. Unlike some of you, who think that the Rebbe, at anytime had to conform to the 'law of the Land' to get a passport photo, I know and understand that he never HAD to do anything he didn't want to. And whatever imagined image you or I have of the Rebbe is just that - imagined. This photo which is arguably a university photo, and not a passport photo makes me realise how much cooler the Rebbe is/was than I ever expected.
