Love and War

Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Andrew/Dawn
Summary: Can Andrew and Dawn ever get along?
Disclaimer: All hail Joss, the master of all things Buffy...
Distribution: Morphine Tears and unknown danger. Anywhere else, just let me know where it's going.
Author's Note: This is my first attempt at writing anything that even remotely resembles humor, so I'm not sure if I did it justice at all. I'm also aware that the pairing is rather odd, and a bit unconventional, but I like it that way.

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"There's no way in hell I'm letting you win" Dawn Summers stands in the middle of her living room, staring down Andrew Wells, whose nose is inches from hers. "I don't care what excuses you have this time, I'm so gonna beat you down."


He rolls his eyes. "You can't beat an ex-supervillain at his own game. It's impossible, even if you are the Slayer's sister." He accents the last few words, knowing very well that it pisses her off whenever anyone says that. Dawn has this big thing about needing her own identity, good ammo in my evil plans, he praises himself with a slight, but completely inward, nod.


Dawn reaches up, popping Andrew in the back of the head. "I'm not the Slayer's sister." She groans, "Okay, maybe I am. but. but." Dawn stutters, looking for anything to throw at him, verbally of course. for the moment. "At least I'm not Tucker's brother!" she exclaims, saving herself from going down this early in the fight. Not that she really knew who Tucker was, just something about dogs and the prom. Oh yeah, and that it was incredibly lame.


He glares at her, his crystal blue eyes sparkling with mischief. "Oh yeah. well I'll just have to go get that invisibility ray that I had last year. That'll take care of you." He internally cringes, thinking about all that had happened in the past year. Warren's death, then Jonathan's murder at his own hands. Maybe the invisibility ray wasn't such a good idea after all.


"Oh like I'm scared of that. I'll just snatch it when you're not looking, and then you'll lose anyway cause you won't be able to see me." Dawn grins wickedly, sure that she's beaten him once and for all. "Plus, I could get away with all kinds of fun stuff. all I'd have to do is blame it on you since no one could see me." Not like it matters whether I'm physically invisible or not, no one sees me anyway, Dawn reminds herself sadly, never losing her intimidating look as she continues staring at Andrew.


Invisibility ray, definitely not a good idea, he decides. "So, they already blame me for everything that the mini-Buffy's do anyway, so what more could you do? Not like they bother listening to me anyway, so who cares if I get in trouble?" Except that he did care, a lot. All he really wanted was to be accepted by the Scoobies, to be one of them, on the side of the good. Andrew had to wonder if that would ever really happen.


Dawn shrugs, "So, I'd do something else then. I could think of a million, maybe a billion, embarrassing things that I could do to you." she trails off, allowing his imagination to take over. The sides of her lips curve up in a harsh grin as she watches him squirm a little. She wonders if he's thinking of the same one she is, something involving a little invisible groping. Now that would be embarrassing.


"Forget the invisibility ray. It broke anyway." Andrew says, his cheeks beginning to turn red as he thinks about all the things Dawn could do to him while she was unseen. "Besides. we umm. had to give the diamond back," he mumbles sheepishly. Wait, no fair. she's not gonna get the best of me, Andrew reminds himself, steeling his gaze at Dawn once more. "Well. I guess I'll just have to tell Buffy about the time I caught you sneaking in way after curfew. You know, she really isn't gonna be happy when she finds out that you were outside in the dark, with. the First and his minions out and all." Now that he thought about it, Andrew wasn't too happy to that she had been out there in the dark all alone. It could have been dangerous. she could be dead!


Now it's Dawn's turn to glare, shoving Andrew back and standing on her tiptoes so she can look down at him. "And maybe I'll just have to tell Buffy about the time that I saw you and one of the Potentials sneaking out of her room together. looking very tousled." Dawn raises her eyebrows to accentuate her point.


Andrew's eyes open wider, his mouth hanging down in shock. "But. but that never even happened!" he whines. He looks at Dawn coldly, "At least I'm planning to tell her the truth." Things were getting awful dirty, not that Andrew was nervous or anything. It's just that the Slayer would probably kill him if she found out he was doing anything with any of her girls, true or not, Andrew was almost certain of that.


Dawn shrugs, grinning wildly, "So? All's fair in war. and apparently love too, but not finding any of that here. Besides, who's she gonna believe. her little sister, or the guy we took hostage but just won't go away? Cause I'm thinking that she'd pick me over you any day." She fights a frown, unsure of why she said something so cruel, or any of the cruel things she's said for that matter. Inwardly shrugging, she keeps the cool façade on, looking down at him expectantly.


"So I won't tell Buffy. I'll tell Xander! He'll believe me. and I bet he won't believe you. You don't scare me little Dawn. you'll never beat the master. I was a supervillain!" Andrew sighs outwardly, the conversation getting old quickly. It was turning to more and more personal matters all the time, making him uncomfortable. Xander would know that I'm not getting any sex around here, Andrew pouts to himself. Dawn's argument is nothing.


Rolling her eyes, Dawn whimpers, "Oh god. don't tell Xander on me. please Andy. please." she begs, reaching out to cling to his sweater. "I'm begging. really I am."


"Begging for it if you ask me," he grumbles, looking down at her with menacing eyes. So what if he was enjoying having Dawn close to him, that didn't mean anything, right? It was just the fight, making him feel all funny, he decides, trying to pry her hands off his sweater. "Stop with the hands. I just got this."


Dawn frowns a little, releasing him from her grip. "No, you know. you're right. I will stop with the hands cause why would I wanna touch you? You'd probably like it too much." She fights a grin, knowing that she's getting to him, but at what cost. Didn't know I could fight this dirty.


Andrew crosses his arms, "I think you were the only one enjoying that. I'm evil. remember? Evil people don't enjoying being groped by the Slayer's sister." Which he knew wasn't even close to true, but so far, Dawn wasn't arguing with him about it. "We'd rather be. tying her to chairs and. stuff," he finishes lamely.


He so did not call me the Slayer's sister again, she grumbles to herself. "Why I oughta." she spats, reaching for his throat.


Someone clears their throat, causing Dawn to drop her hands as they both look at Faith. "Seriously. I don't usually promote underage screwing, Andrew, but you two really just need to hop in bed and get it over with, cause the foreplay's getting old, even from my point of view." She grins at their astonished faces, heading toward the door with her ham and cheese sandwich in her hand. "I always did like it fast though," she muses, more to herself then them, walking out to help Buffy with training.


Dawn and Andrew both look at each other for a second, both turning the same shade of red. Then their eyes travel downward, and Dawn groans. "You've gotta be kidding me."


The two are standing in the kitchen, in front of the island. Sitting on the counter in front of them is a jar of mayo, various deli meats, and a single cheese wrapper in the middle of it all. "This is all your fault, you know," Andrew says, picking up the wrapper forlornly. "That cheese should have been mine, but thanks to you starting this big war, now Faith's eating it. Just like my Hot Pocket."


Dawn rolls her eyes, "I so would have had that cheese. There's no way you could've taken me!" Andrew just stands there in silence, his arms still crossed. Dawn cocks her head to the side, looking up at him. She runs her hands down his arms, biting her lower lip as they progress. "Hey Andrew." she mummers.


He practically jumps back, looking down at her in surprise, but unable to move away. "Huh?"


Dawn smiles, leaning in to trail soft kisses on his jaw. "Faith's one of the bosses, you know. and I think she just gave us orders a few minutes ago." She takes his hands in hers, pulling him toward the stairs with her, "Whaddya say we follow them."


Andrew nods, eyes wide in fear, but not unpleasantly so. He frowns a little, looking back toward the kitchen. "I still say that the cheese would have been mine. I mean, hello. ex-supervillain here." his voice trails off as they disappear upstairs.


Faith stands in the kitchen doorway, listening with a wide smile. "At least someone's getting some," she chuckles, returning to their outdoor training session. She looks down at the sandwich in her hand, "Don't see what the big deal is. It's really not that good anyway."


<--- once again, i know