Thursday,
October 07, 2004 SONG:
Hate Everything About YouMOOD: OMG
Isin't it amazing how quickly things can just change on you? How everything can either topple to the ground, or rise up in an instant? Just two weeks ago I was sure that the thing with Kelly giving Calvin to me was over and I had no chance. But now that's not the case anymore..ever since her email on Saturday telling me she wanted me to have him (I've already talked about it a couple blogs down) I've been determined as hell to get this horse. I'm not going to let him go..not this time. And my determination has started to work. Things so far are going well. Infact if everything works out, I'm days away from Calvin being mine. My mom is being pretty suportive with it. Now that I am very close to getting a job, I know that I will be able to take care of him and pay for his board by myself. I've already told Kelly that we are for sure taking him, and she told me that she is just waiting for us to come out and get him, and that she's going to give us a list of his medications and stuff. I'm very close to getting him. I told Amber last night that we're going to have to use her horse trailer and she's like "YOU'RE GETTING HIM?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Yes. I'm determined as all freaking hell to get this horse. So as far as now, he's mine. My dad still doesn't know about it, but owning your own horse is cheaper than lessons anyways, so I'll just use that on him. I don't give a flying fuck what he says anyways, if he even so much as thinks of saying no, I'll run the fuck away. That's bullshit, because he never wants to do jack shit for me, and now that I'm so very close to getting Calvin, I'm not going to take no for an answer. If I do get him, me and Amber are going to pick him up and my teacher Mrs. Elder is coming with us. I think that would be amazing for her to be with me when my dream came true. After all, she's been listening to me complain about it for a year and a half. I think it's about time it came true. Calvin baby, I'm gonna get you. I will. I don't give a flying fuck what anyone else says, you're gonna be mine.
Well. Besides that...I got another note from Rob. He asked me out in it!! I was like gasp. Yup. I wrote him, and said yes, but I didn't give it to him. I saw him, but I was talking to one of my friends, and I thought it would be cornyish to get up and go chasing after him. I'll give it to him tomorrow in second hour. The reason he hadn't been calling me is because he works alot. Yeah..and besides that, my friend Steve drew me a horse. I think he got it off the internet, but it's REALLY pretty. I gasped when I got it. He likes me an awful lot, and I feel bad because I like his best friend. I know what it feels like to like someone so much and they turn around and like someone else. Trust me, I know. But..but....I don't like him that way. He's so nice too...I mean he writes me about three notes a day. I was upset today and he wrote me a note and told me to smile because I look prettier when I do. I was like..aww...and I feel even worse because he's sort of a messenger between me and Rob. -sighs- I wish I liked him though. He has his own horse. Hah...that's always a bonus. But yeah..I mean there's nothing I can do. Can't control my feelings, right?
Yup..I haven't seen much of Lance over the week except for today. I sat close to him for most of the hour because were doing a project together. He kept grabbing my thighs, and I could tell he was definitely looking down my shirt. I mean he's 6 foot 8, it probably wasn't too hard for him considering the fact I'm 5'2. God he's fucking hot..lol. I told him I'd flash him after school, but then he made me mad when he was talking about another girl, so I was like NOPE. So the remainder of the hour, he was begging for my forgiveness. HAH! No. But yeah, I guess that's really all that happened. When my friend Jason gets on today, I'm switching urls. He's going to host me, thank fucking god. Good ridents Geocities. But yeah, that's all today. I'll edit if anything speshal happens. -wink-
said at
3:23 PM GMT
Monday,
October 04, 2004
EnyaMOOD: Alright.
Whoooooot. I have the worst headache ever. It's like throbbing.
Rawr. I think I drank too much Pink Lemonade. Yeah...so anyways today was ok. Rob gave me another note today..after I pretty much decided he wasn't interested. But no, his note was really sweet. It said in big capital letters..."Amy, I like you ALOT!" I was like awwwww *blush* But I think he's really, really shy because he doesn't ever talk to me..he mostly just gives me notes. That's alright though, but let's hope he warms up. He said that he liked my note and he thought it was cool that I rode and jumped horses. He said he'd call me tonight if I wasn't busy. He also gave me his number, so I guess I'm good to go, right? I won't call though, because that's his job. He said he would, so he should. I'm really happy about that because of the two guys I'm crushing, I think I'd prefer him. Not that Lance isin't extremely datable, it's just that he doesn't wanna go out with anyone right now. Mmmmm...speaking of him. We were in the fucking library today in sixth hour, so I didn't get to flirt with him as much as I wanted to. But he came up to me alot, and kinda shoved into me, and I liked it, lol. 
Yeah, he's sexy. I'm looking forward to tomorrow, because we won't be in the stupid freaking library and I can tell him how hot he is. Gawd he's so doable. Lmfao, I told my friend today that I liked him being so tall. Easier on the knees. *wink* I'm kidding..lol. Really, I am. Yeah that was pretty much today. The rest of it was a snoozefest. But yesterday was alright. All my family came over for a birthday party, and I ate alot of cake lol.
I feel like I gained like 10 pounds. I got to see my uncle!! I love my uncle, he's the shit. Mhm..I didn't get what I wanted though. I really wanted a digital camera, and my parents really hinted that that's what they got me. Know what I mean? And turns out all I got was a freaking gay 8 day Spa pass. A SPA? Who thought of that one? Dumb, or Dumber? *rolls eyes*I really need a new layout. I'm getting quite sick of this one. Ah well, what the hell can I do? I have no muse nor creativity at this time, so screw it. This has been a pretty short blog, but that's about all the interesting things that happened. Guess I'll ttyl! If Rob calls, I'll definitely edit! :D Byes!
((
choochoo!))
said at
3:49 PM GMT
Friday,
October 01, 2004
Wherever you will goMOOD: Better.
Well everything is better now. I was really stressing out about Amber being mad at me. I finally got the guts to call her today, and turns out she wasn't even mad to begin with. I guess that night she was having a bad day-we all have them. She still loves me, and I still love her
I'm really happy that everything is okay. Going through a day without your best friend in your heart isin't easy. I tend to over-exaggerate things...so I guess that's what happened. I'm just relieved that were okay. I am kinda sad though, because I miss her, and I want to go to her house, but I can't 
. Oh well..maybe she can come over Sunday for my stupid birthday party or whatever you wanna call it. Anyways, today was kinda mixed. I wasn't feeling good, but I guess it ended up alright in the end. Rob didn't say anything to me, but Steve said that he was sure that he still likes me. *shrug* He was supposed to write me back 3rd hour, but I never got a note. Whateva. But I mean, it's totally obvious that Steve likes me. I think he kinda makes up girlfriends to make me jealous. One day he's going out with someone, and the next he's not. He writes me alot of notes, and in class he always comes up and pokes me in the side and stuff like that. I told him about how I gave Rob my number, and he didn't call. Steve goes "Well if I had your number, I'd certainly call.." I was like
He always tells me I look good (though I almost never do) and he flirts with me alot. He's a nice guy. He has a horse, which is always good for you if you have a crush on me..hehe..
But yeah, I like Rob..so I dunno. I don't like Steve that way anywho. Sixth hour today was erm....interesting once again. Lance finally confessed that he liked me!!! *excited* We were messing around all hour, and I called him sexy like 500 times. We also got into this discussion about side burns with the girl behind me. She thinks they are ugly, and I think they are hot. And Lance has side burns, so I made it especially obvious, that side burns are infact sexy. Unless you're a girl..that's just wrong. Then I wrote him a note that said hi and stuff...and we kept writing each other back. He asked me why I was laughing at him at lunch (I saw him at lunch today) and I told him I was talking to my friend...but I was also staring at him, and when he took his hoody or w/e off his shirt came up and I got a nice view of his stomach/chest! WHOOT. lol so I told him that I was staring at him
Anyways in my note I was like "I liked your little scene at lunch today, when can I see more....??" lol, and he took me seriously. I think he honestly thinks I really want to fuck him. *sighs* That's the bad part about being a virgin..lol..but hey, so is he..so ya know. Also, in the note I asked him why everyone was trying to convince me that he liked me. He doesn't know why I don't believe him, and finally when I asked why everyone said he did, he goes "BECAUSE I DO!!" I was like...
When he asked me why I didn't believe him, I told him because I didn't think I was pretty enough for someone like him. He just kinda smiled I guess. I really don't think I am, and it shocks me that this gorgeous, 6 foot 8 football player likes me. *sighs* Ermmmm....anyways besides all that, I got an application for Kriegers today. I wanna work there because some of my friends do, and I want to work in a place where I know people. I think my mom is okay with it, because I talked her into letting me last night. She had a problem with it because they serve alcholol there. It's not like I can really get a hold of it anyways...I mean I don't really want to either. Besides, I want to be a hostess, not a waitress. We'll see. But I really need a job. Why? Well I got another email from Kelly today. She said that I could either take Calvin now for free, or she's going to donate him to the Thereputic Riding School. He'd have a good, safe home there, but I honestly hate the idea of having my horse (I still consider him mine) being drooled on all day. I know that sounds crude, but I want him all to myself. This time, I'm going to work my ass off to get him. I don't care how "impractical" my parents think it is. Fuck them. Calvin is my baby, and I'm getting him back. So....does anyone wanna loan me $250? lol.
Well I guess that's it for tonight. Thank god I get to sleep in tomorrow. I'm pooped. Guess I'll see you all 'round!!
said at
9:30 PM GMT
Thursday,
September 30, 2004
I hate (everything about you)MOOD: Fucking Shit.
I hate the fact I left, and I hate the fact that I was gone for so long. It's ruined my relationship with my best friend, which in my opinion was inseperable. Guess I was wrong. I cried myself to sleep last night because she was everything to me. 
Don't wanna put a guilt trip on anyone or something, but I haven't done anything. I didn't deserve that. I'm sorry about what's going on in your life. I'm sorry our family has the money to go to Jamaica...I really don't care about Jamaica. I really didn't want to go in the first fucking place. I'm sorry okay. But it really hurts when you take out all of your problems on me like you did. I just..I've had a hole in my heart all day, and it hurts like hell. I just don't even want to fucking talk about it..fuck it.Anyways the last two days at school have been alright. I guess I am doing pretty good. I have alot of fucking homework tonight that I don't want to do. I don't have the mental energy to write a fucking essay and do a fucking power point project.
I'm so tempted to blow them fucking off. I don't even give a shit anymore..whatever. -sigh- Besides all this bullshit..I guess a few good things have happened that I can talk about. I found out for sure (finally) that my crush does like me. He wrote me a note today saying that he did, and before we went out he wanted to get to know me a little better. So I wrote him back and told him some of the things I liked to do and stuff like that. I gave him my number and told him he could call me if he wanted to. He hasn't called. 
I think I embarressed him at lunch when I handed him his note...but he was only sitting with one other guy. So -shrug- mmk. What did he want me to do? What's wrong with that? Jesus fucking christ. I didn't think he'd call me in the first place..I really don't know. Nothing ever works out for me, so I won't be suprised if it doesn't. Anyway. This other kid I kinda have a crush on did me a favor in my Geometry class. He purposely bent over and let me walk into his ass...lol..and he's like huge. He's the 6'8 football player I mentioned a few days ago. He's hot. And he just kinda sat there until I forced myself to walk around. -dies- Yeah. But I don't think he's interested in me. He (quote) "Doesn't go out with girls during football season". Pfft. mmmk..he doesn't have to make excuses dude..I don't care. Uhmm..I saw two shrinks last night. One of them was for the first time. I didn't like her..she was trippy. I don't have to go back to her, so it's no big deal. I saw my older shrink, the one I have been going to. She's nice, I like her. Her name's Charolette. I told her everything that happened in Jamaica. And before it was just me and her talking, my mom decided to read off an 8 page letter she wrote explaining everything that happened to me this summer with Hart Farms and Calvin. I'm so sick of hearing that. It keeps fucking coming back.
Not only can I not forget about it without someone's help..but when I'm constantly reminded of it anyways, it just makes me want to throw myself on the floor and scream. I'm trying to heal, and it's not like I don't already think about it every single day. I'm tired of it being brought up over and over. I just want to move on. 
I still love Calvin dearly, and I hate having to forget him..but I know that life just isin't going to allow me to have him..so FUCK IT. And guess what my essay in Am Lit is about? Yep, the tragic event of loosing Calvin. I did have choice on what to write about, and my teacher is concerned that I shouldn't write about Calvin because bringing it up makes me depressed. Let me rephrase that-it makes me more depressed. There's not a breath I take in my life that I'm not depressed. But I choose it because that is the most tragic thing I've ever had to go through. In a way, it secretly gets back Kelly and Randy for what they have done to me. Even though they'll never, ever know about it..in a way it's a way of saying look what the fuck you did to my life. Whatever. Anyways about my meeting with Charolette. I told her what my step-dad did, and I think I realized the two most center problems of my life. My step-dad and what happened at Hart. Those are the centers of my depression and anxiety. I think she knows it too. I really let loose on how much I hate my dad. He's definitely a key problem. If he would just let me fucking grow up, and if he didn't fucking screw everything up for me, I think I almost might be normal. said at
4:35 PM GMT
Tuesday,
September 28, 2004
Stoned
MOOD:
Today was pretty good I guess. I was a little worried yesterday night that things would be totally different, and that everyone would have forgotten my very existence because of that stupid trip to Jamaica. But as usual I was just overly concerned and everything turned out fine. I actually don't even have that much make-up work to do. All my classes have basically been doing projects. Easy ones too, so it's not like thats going to be hard. I'm kinda releived about that because I was really dreading the fact I'd have a shit load of crap to do. Which is a good thing because I'm already starting to procrastinate about doing the work I do have to get done. Pfft..whatever. I just got back, I'll do it later. Hah.
fifth hour. It was only the four of us, so I pretty much got the spotlight. I seemed alot more open, and I laughed alot then. I made them laugh a few times too with the stories about the Jamaican possy that followed me around all week. I told Mr. Baldwin about what my step-dad did and stuff. Oh, and get this. When I walked in, he told me that I was beautiful. He actually told me that I had a "radiance" today. o_O So he and this other guy sat for like 10 minutes trying to convince me I was pretty. Me? pretty? Pfft yeah. To enlighten anyone, don't ever try to tell me that. I am not pretty. Not even a little bit. I hate it when people are like "You are!" when they are just saying that to make me feel better. I can only get like 3 [good] boyfriends a year. That's kind of sad actually. So..yeah. Maybe it was just the lighting in there. said at
4:26 PM GMT
Monday,
September 27, 2004
MOOD: ticked.
I'm so happy to be home. My trip to Jamaica was nothing like I expected. I mean it was okay until I got extremely sick and miserable. But let me start from the beginning.
But yeah. That was my trip. I'm very glad to be home. Though a few things have crossed my ears that have upset me. I don't know how things will be tomorrow at school, because obviously I was gone much too long. I'm also worried about Amber. She acted funny on the phone..but I'm an idiot. I worry about everything. I should probably just disregard it, and I know everything will be fine.
said at
6:48 PM GMT
Sunday,
September 19, 2004
MOOD: I'm fine
I had a pretty good weekend. I am finally unflipping grounded from the internet. I mean I could get on before, but at least now I can do it legally. hehe. Who knows how long it will last, considering the fact my parents are moronic dumbasses. *rolls eyes* I swear, when I grow up, I'm hiring someone to kill them. Lmfao. XD
So Amber came over this weekend. I had to talk my mom into it, and believe me, it wasn't easy. She procrastinated and made up excuses all morning until she finally fucking gave in. Jesus christ, maybe I wouldn't ask so much if you'd actually get off your fucking ass and take me more than you usually let me. *growls* God my parents are stupid sometimes. Anyways we had some fun...not as much as I'd like to but ya know. Saturday night we mainly just played on the computer, and we went outside at like 10PM and ran around my neighborhood. Amber was going to give me a piggy back ride, but that didn't work out too well. lol, I jumped on her, and she got top-heavy and we both fell on our faces. Right on the concrete too....poor Ambie got more hurt than me though. She scraped her hands and knees. I felt sooooo bad. But I think we were just laughing too hard, and we were running downhill so that didn't make it much easier either. But either way, we skipped all the way back up to my house. It was fun.
Anyways tomorrow we leave for Jamaica. Joy. I don't really want to talk about it. I've already said enough on that subject in my last three blogs. It's not even all that exciting. I'm just like..bleh...*shrug* Jamiaca. Who cares. I guess I won't be able to blog until next weekend. Whooooot.
I am starting to add some tutorials. Right now I only have two up, but some more will gradually come. Got anything to do with PSP8 that you don't know how to do? Email me, and I might put up a tutorial on it.
AMY said at
4:30 PM GMT
Friday,
September 17, 2004
MOOD: eh. okay i guess.
Feeling a little better today. Last night I was so fucking pissed off. I took today off from school, because I would have probably went insane on Evan if I saw him.
I purposely missed the bus, and my dad didn't feel like driving me, so he let me stay home. Score. 
I slept until like 12. That was rest that I really needed. So now I won't be back at school until week after next. I didn't even get my make-up work. Stupid fucking teachers didn't even give it to me, so that's not my fault. Oh well, not like I really give a shit about school anyways. What are my parents going to do about my bad grades? It's not like I have lessons they can take away, and they can ground me from the internet all they fucking want to, because I can turn it back on anyways. Hmm...I haven't done anything all day long, so this blog probably won't be very interesting. 
I leave for Jamaica in two days. My parents are running around the house and bugging the shit out of me by asking over and over again if I'm packed and ready. How many times do I have to tell them yes? 
Dumb fucks, I swear. Ughhh...and I don't want to FLY! I hate planes so freaking much. They are going to have to sedate me before I get on there...or else I'll pass out anyways. I'm scared of heights, and I don't particularly like the idea of being thirty thousand feet in the fucking air. *shivers* I am dreading Monday morning. 
I just want to get there. Whoever said "Getting there is half the fun" is a moron. >_< But yeah. I'm bored.
AMBERRRRRRRRR I really want you to go with me. I wish you could have. 
My fucking step-dad is a asshole. You could have gone and I know it...he just didn't want to pay for half of you. He is seriously a careless bastard. I hate him. I would be way more excited for going if you were going with me. Do you know how much fun that would fucking be? OMG. But you know, you are in three honors classes. It would be such a pain making up all the work. You have more homework than me on one night, than I do in half the week. *shudders* At least that's the only good part. I'll take plenty of pictures, and you'll get more gifts from Jamaica than all my friends put together. I have a whole little list made out of who I'm buying for down there. I'm not sure of what they'll have, but I think like t-shirts and Jamaican jewlery would be cute. I want to get one of those striped hats ya know? Hah-wear it on my first day back. 
That'd be great XD
I need to go tanning before we go! And my mom does too. I'm not all that pale but my mom is just like friggin gross to look at. She's at least 20x paler than me. She didn't go outside all summer, and she never wears shorts. Her legs are like ghost white. 
Ewwwwww. lol. I definitely need to take her tanning before she kills us all in her bathing suit. *shudders* not to mention the fact my mom is WAY overweight. Hah, I'm so mean XD But yeah...My birthday is next Friday. Whoooo! I'll be 16 when I get back! And guess where I'll be spending my 16th birthday? Not in Jamaica. On a freaking plane back home. So those of you saying "You get to spend your b-day is Jamaica!!!!!!!" are wrong. Ehh...my birthday on a plane? Ohhhhh the joys. 
Well I guess I'm done with today's rant. Maybe do an "edit" later if anything extraordinary happens. See ya! 
[EDIT] Okay so me and Evan made up. I didn't think there was anything in the whole fucking world he could say to not make me mad at him, and not make me hate him. But he had one thing to say that made me re-think my decision to completely and utterly hate him. I was a complete bitch, and last night we both crossed the line. I don't want there to be that uncomfortable feeling when we see each other at school. You hurt me alot sometimes, but I understand that's just how you are. I know how you really feel, because you've told me. I'm sorry for our fights...
And Amber, since were looking up friendship poems right now....I want to put my favorite one in the blog.
I will dry your tears.
When you are scared,
I will comfort your fears.
When you are worried,
I will give you hope.
When you are confused,
I will help you cope.
And when you are lost,
And can't see the light.
I shall be your beacon
Shining ever so bright
This is my oath.
I pledge till the end.
Why you may ask?
Because your my best friend.
AMY said at
2:30 PM CET
Thursday,
September 16, 2004
MOOD: very pissed
Men are stupid. No offensive to those who are my friends, but some of you are just retarded. Evan, not only must you make me feel like a heartless bitch for turning down Jeff, but you have to raid me of the little bit of happiness I had left in my life, and turn it into a hatrid for you. We were fine as friends before, and I appreciate the fact that you tried to do something nice for me by hooking me and Jeff up. But I don't want a relationship. I don't care right now who's feelings I hurt. But I don't feel the same way that Jeff feels for me, and I don't think I ever will. What he wrote me was sweet. It was original, and I've only gotten something like that from a few people. The long-stemmed rose and card idea for when I get back from Jamaica was sweet. But doing all those things can't change the way my heart feels. You can't buy me. I'm sorry...but friends is all I can give you, and right now I don't even want to do that. I'm so pissed off right now it's not even funny. Evan tends to believe that mental depression isin't even a disease and it's the person's fault they feel like that. Yeah Evan - THAT'S WHY IT CAN BE FUCKING DIAGNOSED BY A FUCKING DOCTER AS A CHEMICAL IMBALANCE??? Evan I fucking have the disease, I take fucking 8 pills a day just to keep me sane, YOU REALLY THINK THAT IT'S MY FUCKING FAULT I'VE TRIED TO KILL MYSELF BEFORE? I don't! Excuse me, but saying Go kill yourself to someone who's already been in rehab, DOESN'T QUITE MAKE SENSE. So FUCK you Evan, FUCK you and your stupid ideas on how the world works, because you wanna know something???!?? YOU'RE FUCKING WRONG.
*breathes* Okay, I'm so pissed about today. Just because I don't like someone like that doesn't mean you plauge me for hours about it. It's not my fucking fault I don't feel the same okay, so lay the fuck off it. But yeah I just want to forget the whole ordeal. Fuck it, I have way more important things to think about.
Like this trip to Jamaica. I don't even want to go...I hate planes. There's a fourth hurricane heading somewhat towards the caribbean. Why even go? It's over my birthday, AND homecoming which I want to go to. But nooooooo. *sighs* I guess alot of people would kill to be in my shoes, right? Well it's not that great. I can't go to Amber's this weekend because we have to go shopping. Oh fuck yay. But yeah, I dunno, I guess I'm a tad excited. After all were staying in a five star hotel right off the coast...and open beach all day and night. Let's hope it's not a nude beach. Yet that would be hilarious. The look on my parent's faces? Holy god. Ah well. Anyways other than the events that took place after school today, everything was fine. I told Steve I didn't like him like that and he needed to be more interested in my friend Jennifer, because she does like him like that. So I wish he would "get me off his mind". There's only two guys that I like alot, and one of them I can't have. So *shrug* Whatever.
Today on the way home was retarded. These stupid guys in this stupid car decided to flick us off for no apparent reason. Then they get pissed because we flick them back. WTF?? Don't flick us off if you don't want to be. That simple. See what I mean? Guys are dickheads. I swear, there is like no intelligence up there. But yeah. I can't seem to stay on one subject today. Maybe because I'm so wired about this bullshit with Evan. Fuck him. And by the way if you are reading, I just want to enlighten you on something. If you ever fucking say anything rude or insulting to Amber again, you are really going to regret it. Amber is my best friend...more like my fucking sister. You ever say anything to her that pisses me off, it's not going to be pretty. I'll defend her to the end, because she's worth 100 million times more to me than you will ever be. And you think I can get mean? You wait until you push Amber's buttons. If she ever sees you, I can garuntee that she'll probably fucking kill you. So next time she picks me up from school...I'd suggest running for your fucking life.
Okies, well it's late. This blog was pretty pointless. As all I did was rant and scream about nothing. I guess I'm just tired....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....*wakes up* Ehh..I still need to do my Sociology. Wow I'm such a great time-organizer.
AMY said at
10:19 PM CET
Wednesday,
September 15, 2004
MOOD: good, but confused
I'm so sick of this song...but I'm too fucking lazy to get up and change it. Anyways today was pretty good. I finally don't have to ride the fucking bus again. It takes me a fucking hour to get home when I ride the bus. We have to go through five different subdivisions which really freaking sucks. So today at lunch I was talking to mah good buddy Jason (can't spell his last name, lmfao) and he said he would take me home everyday because we only live like a street away from each other. It's great shit man..I was like FUCK YES!!!!!!!! So I actually got home today before 3. I usually get home around 3:45...and that is like way gay. So anyways that was a major plus to today. Besides that I got two letters from guys today. The first one was from a guy in my Advanced Biology class. He really likes me, and I know he does because he flirts obsessively with me, and he is just so obvious about it. So anyways, he writes me this little thing today...which may I add was very corny. I guess I'll write it up here as he wrote it...except I'll fix the gramatical errors...hah.
"Girl I can't get you off my mind, I know you like Robby, but I had to tell you this, I sound so stupid and you most likely don't like me this way, sorry for flirting with you and driving you crazy..
I was just like o.O Yeah. I like his friend Robby, whom I told that I liked him today. He just kinda did that stupid little nod that guys tend to do, and said he'd talk to me tomorrow or whatever. *shrug* And then I think Jeff really expressed his feelings towards me today. He wrote me something too, but it would be rude to post THAT up here. And it was ALOT better than Steve's letter. But yeah...those were the best things about today. Then sixth hour was more fun that it usually is. There's a really hot guy who sits next to me, and today we were just like joking and passing notes, and he said that he thought I was hot and I asked him if he had a girlfriend, and he said no. I don't know if he was serious about the fact he thought I was hot, but when I said I'd do him (joking, people!) his face lit up! LOL! I was like whoa there buddy. And that was hilarious because I'm short, and he's 6'8'' and he comes up behind me, and I turn around, and my face is like right in his chest. I'm like x_x Hah. That was great.
Anyways last night after I blogged I went outside with some of my friends. Evan wanted me to call him, but when I did he wasn't picking up. We were all bored, so I decided to call Dan, the best boyfriend I've ever had in my life. Of course he's my ex now, and we've sort of kept up with each other by calling every once in a while. So I called him up and we were talking about my hosipital experiences and he asked if I wanted to meet him up at South High since I haven't seen him since before last October. Well I'd have to walk - and when I asked my mom, she said no, so he said he'd just walk ALL the way down to my house to visit me. Well it was dark by the time he got here, and when I saw him it was just like HOLY SHIT. I nearly busted into tears, but I restrained myself. So we just started walking down my street and we just sort of talked about stuff that had been happening in our lives. The whole time I wanted to throw myself on the ground and scream how much I've missed him and that I'd do anything to have him back again. But yet again I restrained myself. Anyways we talked and walked and caught up with alot of things. He has a girlfriend now, and he's been going out with her for almost a year, and their relationship is really good. He loves her as much as he loved me, and I know that he'll never break up with her unless he had to. I mean we only broke up because we absolutely had to, and neither of us really wanted to. But he called for a ride home from Anthony and it just brought back so many memories when he pulled up in his truck. Dan got in and said "Bye, Amy!" And that's when I did. Tears just started streaming down my face like crazy, because I love the way he says my name...But I just can't go on like that. He called me when he got home too, and we talked for a little while longer. SOOOO *wipes tears* these pass couple days have been so confusing, and alot of feelings have been running through my head. It's just so hard sometimes.
Well I guess that's it. I really miss riding and I miss the feel and the rush of flying with a horse over jumps that can take your breath away. I need to start riding again before I shoot myself. *sighs* Amber- if you're reading this, gimme some kind of update on that ritzy stable we visited. I need to get back into lessons. Well gotta go! TTYL!
AMY said at
4:02 PM CET
Tuesday,
September 14, 2004
MOOD: pissy
Long time, no bloggage! I finally got somewhat of a layout up. I've been struggling off and on for an idea, and I gave up for a while there. Now I'm back..with sort of a temporary layout, but I like it alot. It's sexy. Want to know why? because Johnny Depp is gracing it with his imagey presence XD Lol..anyways...I don't really know what to say. School has been going okay..I've had a few crummy days here and there, but for the most part it's alright. I've met a couple new guys who are really nice. Mhmmm..other than that. Today..hmm today SUCKED. Yeah I was really ticked all day long for reasons I don't know. I just have those days. Anyways when I came home everything was just fine and dandy until my step dad decided to come home early. I had to fucking hang up the phone, lock his office, and fucking pray to god he doesn't notice my internet being on. Well while he was here, he was yelling at me for being on the phone while he was trying to call and shit, and then I think Jeff called and OMFG he answered the fucking phone and I was like HOLY SHIT! And I could hear him yelling at him and shit..lmfao, probably scared the shit outta him. But when he was done I was like "You can't stop me from talking to him" And he's all like "Next time, I'm going to 'do something'" Whatever...I have nothing left in my life worth saving so I go "What are you going to do? You've already grounded me from everything imaginable.." And he's all like "You can't have your internet for three months now!" and I was just like hah, but what he doesn't know is that I can get into his office and turn my internet back on. BOOYAH dumbass. So he can do whatever the fuck he wants and he can yell as much as he wants, and he doesn't phase me. My uncle told me once to never let my parents break my beautiful spirit, and they aren't going to. Not even that pyscho russian. Well anyways I guess that's it for today...Awesome layout, eh? Yup. TTYL!
AMY said at
4:52 PM CET
and
this is hilarious!
