September 29th.
you know what? I wont even be cryptic.
or elaborate, or subtle.
FUCK YOU, GET HERPES, GO TO HELL AND GIVE ME BACK MY FUCKING LITERATURE.

September 26th.
never knew you were such a good fucking liar.
today it takes root, deep.
shock is gone. stopped drinking,
still smoking, and idly I think,
like the factory streaming toxins into the sky those
many nights we snuck out.
it'll take forever to get you out.
going to pull you out like a weed.
gonna smoke like a fucking chimney

September 25th.
I want my fucking books back.
ps, go to hell

September 24th.
been drunk 7 times since last friday.
god youre such an asshole.

September 17th.
the leaves are falling but
not faster than me.
I think I am alive now

September 16th.
you really need to think about this, she says, laughing
to cover up the seriousness in her tone,
the one that she impulsively feels is out of place in this
sea of blankets and inhibitions.
i say, i know, and i try to explain but
you've got me backed up against the wall here.
or maybe,
thats what we wanted all along

September 14th.
I'm doing this, okay?!
standing over the water.
going to worry about the things that matter now.
I'm doing this for you, but also
because of you.
come on pony, back in highgear

September 13th.
need to start figuring shit out.
its like I'm always on empty,
so many things to do but no drive.
just nine more minutes please
they all know where to find me

September 9th.
so just how the fuck am I supposed to know how to do anything anymore?
limbs like burdens. the act of
working it all out just makes it
heavier on my shoulders.
its best not to think now,
the leaves die,
the grizzlies prepare to hibernate.
bury myself.
retribution.

September 8th.
dear car insurance, your websites suck.
get real jobs

September 7th.
Two days of routine and I am already searching for vices that will not strike me down from the dry place you have reserved in your thoughts for me. I crave to fall back into your ways, those ones I so long judged and condemned - to feel like you, to see like you, to let myself be overcome with these fears and miseries I am relentlessly (and in vain) suffering against.

you are sweet while I am bitter, as a child I was left to fend for myself