For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your breasts,
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them,
And give them monthly tests.
So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
And I always wore my bra.
After 30 years of astute care,
My Doctor found a lump.
She ordered up a mammogram,
To look inside that bump.
"Stand up very close," she said,
As she got my boob inline.
"And, tell me when it hurts," she said. "Ah yes!
There, that's fine." She stepped upon a peddle.
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate pressed down and down, My boob
was in a vice! My skin was stretched and
stretched from way up under my chin. My poor
boob was being squashed, to Swedish pancake thin.
Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's vice-like grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tits!
'Take a deep breath," she said to me,
Who does she think she's kidding?
My chest is mashed in her machine,
And woozy I am getting.
"There, that was good," I heard her say
As the room was slowly swaying.
"Now let's have a go at the other one." Lord have
mercy," I was praying. It squeezd me from up and
down, It squeezed me from both sides,
I'll bet she's never had this done,
Not to her tender little hide!
If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have popped, Ker-pow!
This machine was designed by man,
Of this I have no doubt,
I'd like to stick his balls in there.
And see how they come out!
Finally, something other than smiley faces.... :) (o)(o) perfect breasts ( + )( + ) fake silicone breasts (*)(*) high nipple breasts (@)(@) big nipple breasts oo a cups { O }{ O } d cups (oYo) wonder bra breasts ( ^ )( ^ ) cold breasts (o)(O) lopsided breasts (Q)(O) pierced breasts (p)(p) hanging tassels breasts \o/\o/ Grandma's breasts ( - )( - ) flat against the shower door breasts |o||o| android breasts ($)($) Jenny McCarthy's breasts ~~~~~~~ And God created woman and she had 3 breasts. He
then asked the woman, "Is there anything you'd
like to have changed?"
She replied, "Yes, could you get rid of this
middle breast?" And so it was done, and it was
good.
Then the woman exclaimed as she was holding that
third breast in her hand, "What can be done with
this useless boob?" And God created man.
Subject: Fact of Life
A middle-aged woman seemed sheepish as she
visited her gynecologist.
"Come now," coaxed the doctor, "you've been
seeing me for years! There's
nothing you can't tell me."
"This one's kind of strange..."
"Let me be the judge of that," the doctor
replied.
"Well," she said, "yesterday I went to the
bathroom in the morning and I
heard a plink-plink in the toilet; when I
looked down, the water was full of
pennies."
"I see."
"That afternoon I went again and there were
nickels in the bowl."
"Uh-huh."
"That night," she went on, "there were dimes
and this morning there were
quarters! You've got to tell me what's wrong
with me!" she implored, "I'm
scared out of my wits!"
The gynecologist put a comforting hand on her
shoulder. "There, there, it's
nothing to be scared about. . ."
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***** "You're simply going through the change."
One day, we were extremely busy in the mammo
center, and a lady called me to come in right
away. Well, I said I would try to (squeeze) her
in and she said I bet you will:)
A MAMMOGRAPHER'S POEM
"Forgive My Caring"
I care about you, So I will do my best
To squeeze you firmly, To flatten out your
breast.
Don't think me cruel, It's my job to compress.
It's not my intention to cause undue stress.
It's not my intention to cause you pain.
I have to be thorough, There's so much to gain.
The radiation dose I'm able to reduce.
I'm getting more info so we can produce
Films of high quality, A reading that's true.
Since your breast health is the important issue.
So forgive my caring, I can't help it, I do!
By Bonnie Rush
