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Pamela Paulshock's Grand Opportunity
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On the eve of her defeat over Bubbah Ray Dudley, Pamela Paulshock gets another shot at UPW gold. This time, she is going for the most important tile of all, that is, if she wins this match at Lights Out. This Sunday, Pamela Paulshock is lated to face Women's Champion Trish Stratus. If she wins, she will get a title shot next week on X-Treme X-Fire. You can bet that Paulshock will not take this opportunity for granted. Can she do it? Can she get her second shot at the gold? Tune in this Sunday to find out.
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Scene One-A Quest is Born.
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The
sounds of people chatting fill the scene. We begin our story in Baltimore,
Maryland where Pamela Paulshock currently resides. Her two story house is
located right along the shore, looking out into the Atlantic Ocean. Three people
are seen sitting at a dining room table. The blonde female is dressed in simple
blue jeans and a white tank top. Across the top it reads, "Reinstated
Member of the V-Club". The male next to her is clad in a Punisher t-shirt,
blue jeans, and black rimmed glasses. He chomp away at a bowl of pretzels in the
middle of the table. There is an empty chair and in the one next to that is a
dark haired woman dressed in a pink bunny shirt that reads "Free the
bunnies!".
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
Alyssa,
chic, what is with that shirt?
Alyssa
Mulvahill looks down at her pink "Free the Bunnies!" shirt.
::Crazy
& Bunny Obsessed::-Alyssa
Mulvahill::
Just,
well, bunnies.
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
I
swear you love bunnies way too much.
She
makes a sex motion with both of her hands. Devon snorts, nearly chocking on a pretzel.
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
Easy
there, Johnny. You're not George Bush. You know how to chew.
::Comic
Book Nerd::-Devon
Townsend::
God
if I was Bush I'd shoot myself?
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
Because
he's such an idiot?
::Crazy
& Bunny Obsessed::-Alyssa
Mulvahill::
Because
he's doesn't care about the bunnies?
::Comic
Book Nerd::-Devon
Townsend::
No
and......no. I would shoot myself because my two daughters are drunken whores
and I have to come home to Laura Bush for the rest of my life.
The
three
friends laugh. Just then. Tiffany Evans enters the room wearing nothing but a
pink robe. He has some sort of thermometer in her hand. She wipes the sweat off
of her brow.
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
Dude,
what the hell are you doing in my bathrobe?
::Slutty
Sidekick::-Tiffany
Evans::
I
needed it.
::Comic
Book Nerd::-Devon
Townsend::
Needed
it for what? Sex?
::Crazy
& Bunny Obsessed::-Alyssa
Mulvahill::
Bunnies?
::Slutty
Sidekick::-Tiffany
Evans::
No
and....no. I needed it take....... a pregnancy test.
They
all stare at her.
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
Why
doesn't that surprise me?
::Slutty
Sidekick::-Tiffany
Evans::
Well
you can rest assured because I'm not pregnant for the 25th time.
She
proudly tosses it onto the table.
::Crazy
& Bunny Obsessed::-Alyssa
Mulvahill::
EWWW!
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
DUDE!
Get that thing off of my clean table! A table that I eat on!
::Slutty
Sidekick::-Tiffany
Evans::
It's
not like it's a tampon.
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
You
peed on it!
::Slutty
Sidekick::-Tiffany
Evans::
Oh.
Right. You've got a point there.
Tiffany
picks up her pregnancy test as Pamela Paulshock rolls her eyes.
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
I
swear you're as dumb as Trish.
::Comic
Book Nerd::-Devon
Townsend::
That
Bionic Woman with really big boobs that reminds me of Wonder woman in the
Superman Issue of 078?
Pamela
Paulshock stares at him.
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
Dude.
You really need to get out more.
::Slutty
Sidekick::-Tiffany
Evans::
Well,
Trish may be blonde but she's not as dumb as me. - I mean..whatever! I am nothing
like her!
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
You're
right. Nothing like her.
::Comic
Book Nerd::-Devon
Townsend::
Yeah,
I don't think Trish can wrap her legs around a man and have sex while still
having her back faced to him.
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
How
would you know?
::Comic
Book Nerd::-Devon
Townsend::
I
uh...errr-...um...
::Slutty
Sidekick::-Tiffany
Evans::
I
told him about it!
::Crazy
& Bunny Obsessed::-Alyssa
Mulvahill::
Did
not! I heard you guys the other day. You were boinking like...bunnies,
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
Oh
my god....
Pamela
Paulshock stares at them, wide eyed.
::Comic
Book Nerd::-Devon
Townsend::
Pam,
it was just one-
::Slutty
Sidekick::-Tiffany
Evans::
It
was just one t-
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
You
actually got laid? Go Devon!
::Comic
Book Nerd::-Devon
Townsend::
But
I- Huh?
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
I'm
proud of you. At least one of us nerds is getting laid.
::Slutty
Sidekick::-Tiffany
Evans::
Dude,
you can too. Just, act a little-
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
I
am NOT using the Trish Stratus method!
::Slutty
Sidekick::-Tiffany
Evans::
Okay.
Go ahead and renew your membership to the V-Club.
::Crazy
& Bunny Obsessed::-Alyssa
Mulvahill::
I
think we should all boink like bunnies...
They
all stare at her.
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
What....the
hell? Whatever. I-
The
phone suddenly rings. Pamela Paulshock gets up to answer it. She disappears
into the other room. The others are left in the dining room, giving each other
looks or playing with bunny figurines. Minutes later, Pamela Paulshock returns
to the room with a huge smile on her face.
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
Guess who's
getting a match at Lights Outs?!
::Comic
Book Nerd::-Devon
Townsend::
So?
::Slutty
Sidekick::-Tiffany
Evans::
Yeah,
what's the deal?
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
I
face Trish Stratus and if I win, I get a shot at the Women's Championship.
::Crazy
& Bunny Obsessed::-Alyssa
Mulvahill::
And???
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
Screw
you guys. I'm gonna go change.
::Slutty
Sidekick::-Tiffany
Evans::
Where
are you going?
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
To
Canada.
The
Lord of the Rings theme plays in the background. Somehow, a breeze came through
Pamela's dining room because her hair is blowing in the wind. Everyone
else just stares at her as she disappears into her bedroom. As Pam is picking out an outift to wear, a voice interrupts her.
Pamela
Paulshock....
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
Who
said that?
I
did...
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
And
who are you?
You
don't remember me, do you?
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
Well,
I wouldn't be asking you who the hell you were if I did.
I
see you've gotten smarter since the last time we've met...
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
Wait
a minute....Fairy Godfather?
In the
flesh. Well, not exactly. God only knows how many nights with sodding ELizabeth
Hurley I'd give away just to be corporal again.
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
You
had sex with Elizabeth Hurley?
No
but I've been inside of her bedroom on more than one occasion.
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
Pervert...So
why are you here?
I
have a mission for you.
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
Of
course...just like old times. You had me go to the North Pole with a naked
monkey and fight a bunch of midget ninjas..Oh and then there was the time that I
want to England to find out what the hell a bloody minger is...and I just loved
the time you sent me into Camilla Parker Boyle's bedroom after she married
Prince Charles. I'm still recovering from that.
She
shudders.
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
Okay,
so what's next on the list, Oh Fairy Godfather of mine?
I
am to charge you with a Holy Crusade. You are to go to Canada and infiltrate the
Canadian Security Intelligence Service.
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
And
what do I do after that?
We
haven't exactly worked out that part yet.
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
What
do you mean you haven't wor-
Good
luck!
Pamela
looks around the room. Silence.
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
Great.
Give me the stupid missions why don't ya?!
Paulshock
grunts as she searches for a top to wear. The scene fades.
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Scene Two-Joining the Club.
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The
scene opens up in a small black room. Actually, it's a red room. It's alls are
red, the chair is red, the little desk is also red. Even the floor is red. We
are in an undisclosed location somewhere in the world. Actually, we don't even
know if we're in the same galaxy let alone planet. Anyway, Pamela
Paulshock, Tiffany Evans, Devon Townsend, and Alyssa Mulvahill have all been
recruited. They sit down in their four chairs as they await further instruction.
Devon is scared shitless, Tiffany is curious, and Alyssa is playing with her
bunny figurines. Pamela, having been here before, sits comfortably.
::Slutty
Sidekick::-Tiffany
Evans::
Dude,
what the hell are we doing here?
::Comic
Book Nerd::-Devon
Townsend::
Yeah,
this red room is acting like a cave full of Kryptonite to Superman. I feel
extremely vulnerable right now.
::Crazy
& Bunny Obsessed::-Alyssa
Mulvahill::
And
I'm having fun with.......BUNNIES! *sings* Bunnies..Bunnies..There's so
sweet...but not to eat..Bunnies...Nothing else rhymes with bunnies....except for
funnies....Funnies....that's not even a real wooooooooooooord!
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
God
someone shoot me.
As
you wish. *cocks gun*
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
What
the hell?! I was joking!
So
was I. It's not a real gun. See?
The
Fairy
Godfather accidentally shoots the gun off. It shoots a hole in the wall right
above Devon's head, who is currently curled up in a ball in his chair, squealing
like a girl.
::Comic
Book Nerd::-Devon
Townsend::
Save
me....
Tiffany
stares, wide eyed.
::Slutty
Sidekick::-Tiffany
Evans::
Wow.
::Crazy
& Bunny Obsessed::-Alyssa
Mulvahill::
So,
Mister Gunman, why did you bring us all here?
Well,
I need to initiate you into the Fairy Associate Recruiting Temperament also
known as....FART.
Devon
Townsend snaps out of his psychotic trans just long enough to hear that last
part.
::Comic
Book Nerd::-Devon
Townsend::
Wait
a minute...I'm being recruited by....FART?
Well...............yes.
::Slutty
Sidekick::-Tiffany
Evans::
What
do we have to do?
For
now, just sit and watch.
::Slutty
Sidekick::-Tiffany
Evans::
Why?
Do
you always go around asking everybody stupid questions? Sodding hell, woman.
Pamela Paulshock, you know exactly what to do.
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
Yeah
yeah yeah.....
Pamela
Paulshock gets up. The lights suddenly dim and a spotlight is placed in Pam. She
is handed a mic by some Fairy Godfather crew workers donning a nice diaper and a
pair of fake wings. Pamela stares at them for a second before shaking her
head. She stands in the middle of the room, ready to talk.
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
Well,
let's see. I've got a match against some broad named Trish Str- What the hell
was that?
Well,
now that you've returned, you're going back to your Jersey Girl persona.
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
Oh
right. That. Well, like I was sayin', I gotta face some dumb broad by the name
of Trish Stratus. Who the hell creates these matches? Dakota Fanning? These
things make no sense at all.
::Slutty
Sidekick::-Tiffany
Evans::
Uh..Pam?
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
What?
::Slutty
Sidekick::-Tiffany
Evans::
She's
the Women's Champion. If you win, you get a shot at her title.
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
So?
::Slutty
Sidekick::-Tiffany
Evans::
This
is a good match.
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
Oh!
Well, then, I retract my previous statement. Thank you to the UPW Administration
for finally recognizing the talents of Pamela Paulshock. I've been here for god
knows how long and I haven't gotten the respect I deserve, until now. I'm
probably the most decorated athlete in this god forsaken federation and it takes
you idiots half a year just to give me a shot at the gold?
::Comic
Book Nerd::-Devon
Townsend::
But
you-
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
Shut
up, Dev!
::Comic
Book Nerd::-Devon
Townsend::
Okay..
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
Jesus
you people are retarded. It's about damn time you give me some respect,
if any at all. It's not like I'm Trish Stratus, sitting on a title for two
months and never really defending it. Yeah Trish, Miss "Canadian Goddess,
the greatest thing since Famous Amos Cookies, Canada's Greatest Export, Miss
Piggy from the Muppets, Miss Crisco Queen circa 1999." I don't give a
damn how many titles ya wanna give yourself. The fact of the matter is this.
We've got a match his Sunday and there's no way in hell that I'm gonna let
an opportunity like this just go away. You think you've got this match one? You
think I'm the same dumb blonde interviewer from WCW? To hell with what you and
every other jackass backstage in the UPW thinks . I'm Pamela Paulshock and I
don't have to listen to you people! While you were too busy scratching your
heads, trying to figure out what the hell an arm lock was, I was in that ring
proving just why I am the best damn wrestler this federation has ever seen. So
don't lector me on that "Oh you're a former interviewer so you can't
wrestle" crap. I've heard it all before. It's a broken record, Fran
Drescher on repeat. It gets annoyn', just like hearing you talk about how great
you are. You're not great, You're not even good. Hell, you're not even
halfway decent. You're just another product of a feeble pervert who thought he
could pimp you out to the world for money. You're over exposed, Trish. You're a
Bennifer. You've become a cliché. You're tired and old, like Sable, so why
don't you start working out a retirement plan next to the crusty old broad
because your reign ain't gonna last any longer. Not while I am here.
Pamela
paces the room.
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
You
see, unlike you, I'm not caught up in my own hype. I know I'm the greatest
because I've already proven it. What do you think bein' a champion is
Trish? Some Beauty Pageant that you just wave around while ya smile? This isn't
Miss America and you're not a real champion. If you need that belt to prove how great you
really are, than you are nothing. Nothing but a black hole trying to fill that
endless void with something but in the end, always turning up empty. You're
a fake Trish. A faux champion. That belt is meaningless because the person
carrying it isn't worth a damn thing. You've become so attached to it that it's
become like your second hand. No, it's your life support. You can't survive
without it. You know that if I take that belt away from you, you're gonna fade
into the darkness until everybody forgets who the hell you were. You'll be
nothing but a distant memory. You see, Trish, I'm gonna win this match Sunday
whether you like it or not. I'm gonna put an end to your little fluke of a reign
next week on X Fire and I'm gonna bring prestige back to that dejected belt.
Pamela
Paulshock sighs.
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
You
think you're invincible? That you are infallible? That you can't fall? Well, let
me tell you a little story about a man named Achilles. He was the considered the
greatest worrier of all time. Every idiot that faced him, fell to his
sword. He was a god..immortal..well, almost. You see, Trish, Achilles believe
the hype. He believed everything that everybody said about him. The trouble was,
he was so caught up in his own self that he failed to realized that he wasn't
the greatest. You know what happened to the great, all powerful Achilles? One
shot to the heel not only brought him down, but killed him. All that hype,
all that spectacle over the greatest warrior of all time came crashing down
because he proved that he was not immortal. This Sunday, that is gonna be you
Trish. You've got your big head but nothing to back it about. What's a big head
to do with nothing to support it? Fall. And Trish, I can promise you that within
the next week of your life, you entire fantasy world is gonna come crashing
down. You may think you're at the top now but soon, you're gonna find yourself
at the very bottom, scrapping up what little remains of your winded career. Not
all the defeats in the world could save Achilles and soon, you will share that
same fate. Call me Paris, Trish, because this Sunday, I'm gonna be the one to
shoot an arrow in your heel.
Pamela
Paulshock smirks. The lights return to normal and Pam ditches the microphone.
Well
done, Paulshock.
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
Yeah,
whatever.
Okay!
Well, it's time to iniate you three into the Fairy Associate Recruiting Temperament.
::Crazy
& Bunny Obsessed::-Alyssa
Mulvahill::
Do
we get Bunnies?
No.
::Crazy
& Bunny Obsessed::-Alyssa
Mulvahill::
Not
even one?
No!
::Crazy
& Bunny Obsessed::-Alyssa
Mulvahill::
Not
even a teeny weeny hair?
NO!
::Crazy
& Bunny Obsessed::-Alyssa
Mulvahill::
Not
even a-
Bloody
hell, woman! *cocks gun*
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
Put
it away, Fairy Godfather!
But
I-
Pamela gives
him an evil stare.
Oh
all right. But if she gets on mylast nerve, I'm going to do it.
::Crazy
& Bunny Obsessed::-Alyssa
Mulvahill::
I'll
be quiet now.
Good.
Now, I want you three to stand over here and raise your left hand.
Tiffany
Evans, Alyssa Mulvahill, and Devon Townsend all get up. They stand in the center
of the room.
Now,
repeat after me. I-
::Slutty
Sidekick::-Tiffany
Evans::
Holy
shit dude! It's the Fairy Godfather that I couldn't see before!
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
Wow,
Tiff. Just wow. So late.
::Comic
Book Nerd::-Devon
Townsend::
Am
I missing something here?
::Crazy
& Bunny Obsessed::-Alyssa
Mulvahill::
I
think you are.
Am
I interrupting your little tet o tet on some bloody rubbish that no one gives
sod all about? Should I come back later?
::Slutty
Sidekick::-Tiffany
Evans::
No
Fairy Godfather, shoot away.
As
I way saying, repeat after me. I am now a member of FART.
::Comic
Book Nerd::-Devon
Townsend::
I
am now a member of FART.
::Slutty
Sidekick::-Tiffany
Evans::
I
am now a member of FART.
::Crazy
& Bunny Obsessed::-Alyssa
Mulvahill::
I
am now a member of FART.
Good,
you are all now officially members of FART.
::Comic
Book Nerd::-Devon
Townsend::
That's
it?
::Slutty
Sidekick::-Tiffany
Evans::
No...
::Crazy
& Bunny Obsessed::-Alyssa
Mulvahill::
Bunnies?
::Slutty
Sidekick::-Tiffany
Evans::
...initiation
ceremony?
Nope.
That's about it.
::Comic
Book Nerd::-Devon
Townsend::
But-
Good
luck on your mission. I will see you all soon.
::Slutty
Sidekick::-Tiffany
Evans::
WAIT!
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
Forget
it, Tiff. He's gone now. We gotta find a way out of here...but how?
::Comic
Book Nerd::-Devon
Townsend::
How
about that door with the big yellow arrow and flashy sign that says "This
way out"?
Devon
points to the door with the big yellow arrow and the flashy sign that says
"This way out".
::More
than just electrifying::-Pamela
Paulshock::
Oh.
Right. To Canada we go!
::Crazy
& Bunny Obsessed::-Alyssa
Mulvahill::
Hi
ho! Hi ho! To Canada we go!
They
all stare at her.
::Slutty
Sidekick::-Tiffany
Evans::
Okay,
we're totally gagging her on the way there.
Pamela
and Devon nod in agreement. The make their way towards the door as the scene
fades.
|
Stats-Roleplay Information
|
[W/D/L]-Singles
06-01-02
[W/D/L]-Tag Team
04-00-00
Role-play #: 23
Next Match: Pamela Paulshock versus Trish Stratus
Stip: Win and I get a shot at the Title.
Event: Lights Out
Mentioned:Trish Stratus
Used: Pamela Paulshock, others
|
Stats-Paulshock Information
|
Name: Pamela Paulshock
Hometown: Baltimore, Maryland
Height: 5'6
Weight: 130lbs
Finisher:Shock Therapy (torando ddt)
Theme Music: "Love In An Elevator" by Aerosmith
Best Friends: Tiffany Evans, Alyssa Mulvahill, Devon Townsend
Allies: None
Enemies: None
Alignment: ????
Accomplishments: former IC Champion, Roleplayer of the Week(2x's), Quote of the Week(2x's), Miss UPW
This role-play was written by me, Keisha. No part of this role-play may be reproduced, used, or copied without my permission. Much effort was put into this and it is not to be degraded by a lazy punk who does not know how to get his or her own stuff. I made this role-play and graphics. Don't steal. I am not Pamela Paulshock. I do not know her nor am I affiliated with her. I have no connections to her. In closing, I would like to say one last thing. DON'T STEAL MY SHIZNIT! If you want something from this, contact me on AIM (xxHurrixBloomxx). Thank you for listening.
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