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| wow havent written for a while...oh well....sure as hell aint anything to write about...i talk good english! man...tres bored (thats french for very god its a world fulla idiots...) WE PROCEED!!! life is merde as usual but oh well...god seems to be playing a cruel and likes kicking me around...bastard god. this is why i never believe in these things...besides the fact that i think its just so those scary people on the jesus network can make a buttload more money...stupid christians...now i dont know what to talk about...i came on here cause i was bored and i thought id just hang around and bitch about something...oh well the singing is getting distracting...i think ill go play tetris now i dont see the point of this anymore oh well! gives me something to do when im bored...most of the stuff here sucks nothing much happening since last time i wrote...as in my extreme bored i bring you that thing with all the questions that everyone puts in their xangas and stuff enjoy delving into more of personal stuff that is totally uninteresting! this is actually sorta fun to do...when you extremely bored and on the brink of insanity [ 1. ] first name:Gabby (Gabrielle if you wanna get technical) [ .2. ] middle name: Elizabeth [ .3. ] last name: Champion [ .4. ] nickname: SUPER JEW!! and for some reason were doing those food nicknames and now im called skittlez before i was killerdoughtnut :-D [ .5. ] gender: Female [ .6. ] age: 13 [ .7. ] birthday: September 7, 1990 [ .8. ] height: 5’5-5’6ish [ .9. ] hair color: dark blonde sorta brown [ .10. ] eye color: green/blue/yellow [ .11. ] race: WHITE BABY! [ .12. ] do you wear glasses or contacts: contacts [ .13. ] do you have braces: sadly getting them on soon [ .14. ] is your hair long or short: short [ .15. ] where were you born: Kansas [ .16. ] current location: Fountain Valley, CA [ .17. ] zodiac sign: virgo [ .18. ] how many languages do you know: i speak anglish [ .19. ] nationality: a whole buttload of stuff [ .20. ] bad habits: oh i got many worst- big time keleptomaniac [ .21. ] piercings you have: do my ears count? [ .22. ] piercings you want: lip,nose stud other areas maybe ;) [ .23. ] tattoos you have: i wish [ .24. ] tattoos you want: pentagram, heartagram, skull and cross bones anything weird [ .25. ] today's date: January 20, 2004 [ [ .26. ] the time: 8:47 PM [ .27. ] ready for a bunch more questions: what the hell . :Pets : . [ .40. ] do you have any pets: yesums [ .41. ] what are their names: Misha (a.ka. Mr. Bobo) [ .42. ] what kind of animals are they: poodle!! . : School : . [ .43. ] are you still in school: sadly yes [ .44. ] did you drop out: in the near future perhaps [ .45. ] current gpa, or last gpa you got: um...numbers? [ .46. ] favorite grade: i read lizzys i must agree KINDERGARDEN KICKS ASS! [ .47. ] least favorite grade: um...now? [ .48. ] favorite teacher: Mrs. Taylor [ .49. ] least favorite teacher: Mrs. Frank [ .50. ] favorite subject: Lunch [ .51. ] least favorite subject: Math [ .52. ] do/did you buy lunch or bring it: buy [ .53. ] play any sports on the school's team: god no [ .54. ] do/did you do any extracurricular activities: nope [ .55. ] are/were you popular: *sigh* [ .56. ] favorite dance: they all suck [ .57. ] favorite memory: um...cant think of any [ .58. ] least favorite dance: most of em [ .59. ] least favorite memory: um... [ .60. ] most humiliating moment: probably got a few . : Favorites : . [ .61. ] number: 666 (yay for satan!) [ .62. ] clothing brand: Dickies, stuff you find at hot topic [ .63. ] shoes: Converse [ .64. ] saying(s): uh...many [ .65. ] tv shows: Family guy, Futurama, Invader Zim, Viva La Bam, Wildboyz, Jackass, CKY [ .66. ] sport: uh...video games! [ .67. ] vegetable: asparagus! [ .68. ] fruit: Strawberries, Rasberries [ .69. ] movie: A Shit Load of Em [ .70. ] magazine: playgirl :P [ .71. ] actor: Johnny Depp Brad Pitt Collin Farrell...over peoples [ .72. ] actress: cant think of any [ .73. ] candy: any sour stuff , hersey [ .74. ] gum: minty stuff [ .75. ] scent: warm vanilla sugar, coconut [ .76. ] candy bar: hersey [ .77. ] ice cream flavor: coffee chocolate/cookie dough, those little firecracker popsicles [ .78. ] color: black with red, blue, green, pink and neon colors [ .79. ] season: summer [ .80. ] holiday: Halloween [ .81. ] band: CKY, System of a Down, Coal Chamber, Fear Factory, Slipknot, Mudvayne, Korn [ .82. ] singer: HA! [ .84. ] rapper: oh god dont get me started rap (cant spell crap without rap) [ .85. ] type of music: rock/metal/punk/hard rock all that fun stuff [ .86. ] there`s now no 86: good 80s sucked...except for some of the clothes [ .87. ] place to be: um...hell? [ .88. ] radio station: KROQ [ .89. ] tv channel: Comedy Central, movie channels [ .90. ] junk food: BURRITOS!! (i love food that ends with an o...dont know) anything thats bad for you [ .91. ] overall food: SUSHI!! and a big steak dinner [ .92. ] store: Hot Topic, Spencers...um...i like the disney store :D [ .93. ] shoe brand: like i said Converse [ .94. ] fast food: IN-N-OUT! [ .95. ] restaurant: Olive Garden (breadsticks...ssssoooo goood) [ .96. ] shape: pentagram! [ .97. ] time of day: late at night [ .98. ] country: lets try Europe [ .99. ] state: California, New York and...Alaska (eskimos are the coolest) [ .100. ] boys name: Rupert, Walter, and Pico oh yes let us not forget Fredrico [ .101. ] girls name: Gwendelan [ .102. ] mall: Westminster [ .103. ] video game: GTA Vice City stuff where you kill people YAY! [ .104. ] shampoo: um...Treseme (o la la) [ .105. ] board game: OPERATION!! [ .106. ] computer game: American McGee’s Alice [ .107. ] car: old cars (50s) ferarri uh...hummers! oh yes and the best, minis [ .108. ] music video: the outkast one is funny [ .109. ] swear word: DONKEY RAPING SHIT EATER!! [ .110. ] word: um...lotsa ones [ .111. ] month: um...July good time for summer [ .112. ] cartoon character: Zim!! and Dib and Gir! [ .113. ] scary movie: hmm...movies dont scare me anymore [ .114. ] team: none [ .115. ] possession: My computer, JTHM comics and doodles . : What's the first thing that comes to mind when you hear : . [ .116. ] eminem: yummy [ .117. ] dog: um...food? [ .118. ] hot: spicy! [ .119. ] britney spears: plastic bitch [ .120. ] nsync: *cringe* [ .121. ] real world: stupid hicks [ .122. ] orange: MONKIES! [ .123. ] choice: abortion [ .124. ] fuck: face!! [ .125. ] bisexual: gay guys [ .126. ] black: endless [ .127. ] icq: what the fudge? [ .128. ] insane clown posse: like the outfits [ .129. ] linkin park: meh asian [ .130. ] jack: heh ass [ .131. ] rainbow: hate em [ .132. ] cherry: cough medicine [ .133. ] cucumber: ...;) [ .134. ] shark: steak (taste like it) [ .135. ] lifehouse: uh... [ .136. ] bat: BEST SUPER HERO! in your face spiderman and superman! [ .137. ] leather: cows [ .138. ] whip: cream (on your body ;) [ .139. ] america: overpopulated [ .140. ] water: tears [ .141. ] volcano: DANTE'S PEAK! (grandma's legs go byebye) . : This or that : . [ .142. ] rock or rap: rock [ .143. ] rock or pop: rock [ .144. ] rock or r&b: rock [ .145. ] rock or metal: both of them [ .146. ] rap or pop: … you ask me that?? [ .147. ] rap or r&b: gay [ .148. ] rap or metal: metal [ .154. ] boxers or briefs: boxers [ .155. ] hot or cold: can i settle for luke warm? [ .156. ] winter or summer: winter [ .157. ] spring or fall: spring [ .158. ] shakira or britney: hate both of em [ .159. ] icp or eminem: icp [ .160. ] marilyn manson or rob zombie: marilyn manson [ .161. ] kittie or garbage: garbage [ .162. ] mtv or vh1: um...VH1 (i love the 80s!) [ .163. ] buffy or angel: never ever! [ .164. ] dawson's creek or gilmore girls: gag me with a ten foot spork [ .165. ] football or basketball: um...football [ .166. ] summer olympics or winter olympics: winter [ .167. ] skiing or snowboarding: snowboarding [ .168. ] rollerblading or skateboarding: im crap at both [ .169. ] black or white: black [ .170. ] orange or red: Red [ .171. ] yellow or green: neon green! [ .172. ] purple or pink: neon pink! [ .173. ] slipknot or mudvayne: mudvayne [ .174. ] hot topic or pac sun: hot topic [ .175. ] inside or outside: outside (wild and free!) [ .176. ] weed or alcohol: booze! [ .177. ] cell phone or pager: cell phone [ .178. ] pen or pencil: two in one [ .179. ] powerpuff girls or charlie's angels: um...powerpuff girls i suppose [ .180. ] scooby doo or dino: scooby doo sucks ass [ .181. ] dragon ball z or pokemon: god...who the hell watches either of those??? [ .182. ] star wars or star trek: Star Wars [ .183. ] tattoos or piercings: both please [ .184. ] prep or punk: uh...on the fence [ .185. ] slut or whore: arent they the same really? . : Private life : . [ .186. ] do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend: boyfriend please and i wish [ .187. ] do you have a crush: *sigh* yes [ .188. ] do you love anyone right now: i love everyone! [ .189. ] have you ever been in love: um...maybe with a goldfish when i was younger [ .190. ] The story behind your user name: Ii think its explains it all [ .191. ] Jewelry worn daily: can never have enough [ .192. ] how many hearts of have you broken: HA! you guys are good [ .193. ] how many people broke your heart: oh theres been a few [ .194. ] best quote to sum up love: it blows [ .195. ] so what is your bf/gf/crush like: meh...thinking about it only pisses me off [ .196. ] do you have a picture of him/her: no cause im not a stalker [ .197. ] please post it if you do: … scary people... [ .198. ] do you have a picture of yourself: yup [ .199. ] please post it if you do: ...if i do, i must kill you all [ .200. ] do you go by looks or personality: try not to but it always helps if they dont make you run away in terror when you see them [ .201. ] ever kissed someone: yup! [ .202. ] someone ever laid a move on you: um...i think so... [ .203. ] so moving along¦do you smoke: nope smells and tastes like shit [ .204. ] do you smoke weed: one day soon probably [ .205. ] ever trip on acid: no but i have heard good things [ .206. ] how about a little =X: wtf...sex? maaaaybe ;) OH WAIT!! X!! no that shit can mess you up [ .207. ] crack, heroin, anything else: hm...maybe [ .208. ] beer good or beer bad: beer is ggoooooddddd [ .209. ] are you the sissy who drinks wine coolers: never tried em [ .210. ] do you like smirnoff ice: hm...not yet but i sure will try it [ .211. ] prefer beer or liquor: both [ .212. ] what kind of cigarettes do you smoke: no cigs. [ .213. ] are you a virgin: maaaaaybe why dont you come over and find out [ .214. ] if no, when was the last time you got some honestly: ... . : Would you ever : . [ .215. ] bungee jump: perhaps [ .216. ] sky dive: perhaps [ .217. ] swim with dolphins: sure why not [ .218. ] scuba dive: yup doin that this summer [ .219. ] go rock climbing: yesums [ .220. ] eat shit for $1,000,000: nots a...maybe [ .221. ] turn your back on your friends for personal gain: good question...depends who [ .222. ] steal a friend's boyfriend/girlfriend: nah dont like any of em (take jane and randy for example) [ .223. ] cross-dress: i like guys clothes (some of them) boxers are very comfy and convinient (especially with that little flap in the front...if your a guy) [ .224. ] lie to the police: if it gets my from getting in trouble maybe flashing them to distract them would work better so much fun i can hardly stand it. i got to skip most of school but of course i had to go get my teeth pulled hurt like a bitch. first they tried giving me nitrus oxide which did not help at all (its suppose to make you all...nuts or whatever cuts off circulation to your head wonder if i'll be an idiot now?) well who cares then they numbed up my gums and like i guess they sliced off a piece of the gums and it hurt really bad and my teeth werent even out yet god! well i got another pair of shoes at the end so i guess it was all worth it really. im gonna go to sleep now that stuff made me really sleepy damn break had to end so soon :'( got to go to disneyland though that was a lot of fun plus it was in the rain. doing anything in the rain is fun. especially the log ride. no point in it cause we were already drenched but still and then we went on the haunted mansion NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS!!! that was fffuuuunnn plus there was this nbc shop with AAAAALLLL this stuff and they apparently have very crappy security there (wink wink) so i got myself a lot of new stuff! when we got back me and tracey came up with we got away with about 200 bucks worth. frankly they deserve everything is so expensive there i swear. well i got: a nightmare before christmas shirt, pins, doll, bracelet, a pirates shirt, a peter pan and sleeping beauty music box, one of those light...thingys and then some stuff over at the princess store and that was just all my stuff i was with three other people. OH HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY!! i got the peter pan soundtrack *estatic!* and the real book (not copying you tracey I WANTED TO READ IT TOO!) plus sleeping beauty but thats beside the point! IM SO HAPPY! next i need the poster thats my final...thing ive spent the entire day looking for pictures not many besides peter pan ones but why should i complain? plus i have two sections of my hot guys i obsess over page done MOST IMPORTANT TWO! johnny and jeremy :D ENJOY! oh my dear lord...i saw peter pan last night (sigh) JEREMY SUMPTER!!!! EEEEEEEE!!! (and other weird girly noises) that boy is...AH! he is my new johnny depp and it wont take me long to all obsessive about him like i did for johnny (facts and movies and stuff like that) as well as having a shrine on my wall (my johnny one almost takes up an entire wall and my room is pretty big) i might even have to make a jeremy section for my site or maybe just have a really hot guys that i obsess over part that works THAT IS MY NEW MISSION! I MUST GO WORK NOW!! LEAVE ME TO MY SEXY GUYS! oh this is gonna be fun ^_* well, nothing else to do so I WRITE MORE! anyone wanna get me a christmas present can never have too many plus my mommy aint gettin me none this year :( buying my own present (notice it is singular meaning one present HOW SAD!) you need lots of presents at christmas...nah i dont feel like it anymore think ill go watch invader zim now bye bye god i hate christmas. too happy for me. halloween is better, can kick christmas's ass anyday. ANYWAYS! i am departing soon (not forver unfortunately) goin to chicaaaaaaaaaago to visit the fam. dont really want to but am being forced to go against my will. i must retaliate somehow anyone got any ideas? the shopping scares me too all the people rushing around being forced to buy stuff like mindless zombie...things. gonna do my shopping online next year.bizarre. i heard a song today and in the background you can hear a lady moaning hhhmmm wonder whats going on in the background...well im bored now...jimmy crack corn and i dont care...i never got that song...bye bye now does anybody even read this shit? well that didnt last long maybe a few days. life's a bitch like that. gives you something that brings you so much joy and happiness only to screw it all up in the end. nothing else to talk about at the moment. christ-mas is going up for all you goiums out there and HANUKKAH! for all me and my jew buddies (except im special so i celebrate both HA!) hurray for me! aw im not gonna be here on firday so i guess your all just gonna have to give me my presents early! i hope i got some last year i didnt get many things :( i sound spoiled but meh...only one thing i want and god knows that im not gonna get it havent been a good girl ;) bastards! well i am very bored and since i have already painted my note card box i have nothing else to do so i think i shall resurect...THE SHOUTOUTS! i dont know if they work or not but whatever anyone got anything else i should add? oh by the way download out of control by hoobastank nothing can describe how i feel at the moment and for once, its a happy feeling fucking trapt song...every time i listen to echo it makes me think and then i get all depressed...BASTARDS!...well sorta good news. i did this barbizon interview (its a school for modeling and acting) and this one lady REALLY wants me to join. like shes been calling my parents and my cell and keeps on trying to get me to join. youd think shed just want my money (obviously i mean it would be almost like...$3000) but you all that crap but ya never know. she thinks i could do really well...thats the only good news really. still confused with other shit and guys seriously piss me off lousy pieces of shit...do guys think im like...a lepher or something and if they talk to me or even get close they might catch a disease? i mean, ive only been at this school for like two years, youd think someone would have any interest in me once so ever...guess not...maybe ill be alone forever so i might as well kill myself now and get it over with ^^ happy thought. kinda sucks...a suicidal person living in a house with billions of ways to kill yourself. plenty of guns, my dads also got some like...samurai swords or something, my moms got tons of pills that could kill me in seconds probably and all those other fun ways like drowning and hanging yourself and the ever popular sticking your head in the oven. god damn i wish i wasnt so much of a pussy so i could actually kill myself...i wonder what the best way to do it is? too bad you only get one chance to find out! so confused...oh heres the site for all the scary stuff... CLICK HERE! oh god im still laughing from all this. im trying to add this one part of pictures that are in truth really freaky but some...omg its funny but anyways go check it out if its up and i got the link to the site where i got the picture...GOD SOME IT IS FUNNY! sad...but very VERY...oh i dont know im a freak but anyways check it out tons of fun. YAY! i had fun on friday. heather and chris came over and we swam in the...probably -20 degree water. All very fun. Then heather spent the nite and we watched 13 ghosts (very cool movie) and heather got freaked out that was pretty funny too...watched moulin rouge and spent like the entire next day on the computer looking at random stuff we found an insta goth kit ISNT THAT THE FUNNIES THING YOUVE EVER HEARD OF??? god thats funny we mite try and buy that some time. all very fun and then we watched rocky horror picture show which is now going to be called "moulin rouge on crack" cause frigtheningly enough, there a lot alike. and then jumped into the pool again and it was freezing. yay! i htink im sick now and theres cookie dough baking in my stomach (literally) oh found so drawings of people killing themselves. VERY COOL! im gonna try and post em right now. DAMN IM PISSED! so freakin confused...i like someone and there are just these hints and it like makes you think "i wonder if this preson might really like me." BUT NO!! you can never tell with these people, i found out some things and yea im very skeptical of stuff. GOOD NEWS!! i got voted by so many people for one of a kind! yay! last it year it pissed me off cause some 8th grader named sarah got it and then jodare and its like THERE NOT ONE OF A KIND! THEY DRESS AND ACT EXACTLY THE SAME!!! yeesh...surprised that i even got nominated (sorta) for anything. like i didnt know this many people actually know anything about me HURRAY I FEEL SO LOVED!!! then me and heather and kelci and chris (ha!) went and tried out for morning announcers FUN! and then we ran through the sprinklers but some old guy in a truck kept turning them off and on...HOW MEAN! stupid old people...then went over to heathers and hung out and had a lot of fun even though i like nearly broke my ankle on her trampoline ALL AND ALL, PRETTY GOOD DAY!! im just so mad over...this one thing...GOD DAMN I HATE BOYS SOMETIMES! cant live with em cant live without em. AH! so fun yesterday. It was the applebees's thing for media and of course i had to go but when we got there, there were like SO many people so we ditched it and decided to go to Full Moon (sushi) and then chris showed up and all that fun stuff. I dared him to eat half of my wasabi while i ate the other half. HA! he couldnt swallow it and spit it out in traceys miso bowl. Went back to Applebee's left again. Went over to Chinese Food and then left again for Applebee's ive had a pretty good week so far but yea never know how long it will last... i love this article originally got it from sam i have some black and red ones anyone want a lapdance or sex? ^_* A fashion accessory may have a lot more meaning than you realize for your teenager: Jelly bracelets are making a comeback. Jelly Bracelets For Sex But instead of a fashion statement, they may be making a statement about your kid's sex life. Madonna wore them in the '80s. Now, teen pop star Avril Lavigne has an armful, and singer Pink sports rainbow-colored rubber wear, and your little girl may have them, too. Only this time these jelly bracelets have a new nickname: sex bracelets. These bendable pieces of colorful rubber have a whole new unwholesome meaning: They're a sexual code to many teens. Some colors mean different things, and people wear them for that reason. Here's a common breakdown, from what teens told NBC 10: Yellow: hugging Purple: kissing Red: lap dance Blue: oral sex Black: the full monty. In a game called Snap, if a boy breaks a jelly bracelet off a girls wrist, he basically gets a sexual coupon for that act. It's become such a problem in some middle schools in Florida, districts started banning the bracelets. If your daughter is wearing one of these bracelets, it certainly doesn't mean she's having sex, following through on the Snap game, or even knows about the code,. But experts say it's a good opportunity for you to have that all important conversation about sex, what you think is acceptable, and best for your family. What goes in one neighborhood may not apply to another, and teenagers have their own ways of interpreting and morphing trends. What's certain is the bracelets are here, and most kids we asked knew all about the new meaning. same ole shit...maybe a little better. Heather is my new psychiatric help so with her helpd i can hopefully become atleast half sane. But then again, whats the fun in being sane? You dont have any voices, imaginary friends and all that fun stuff. I guess ill have to think that over carefully. Me and Tracey are trying to plan a Christmas Shindig but havent gotten very far with the idea. Im leaving on the 19th for Chicago so there goes doing anything for the party THAT week. Maybe the day after Christmas or something...or even before but then again thats not that fun but whatever. They might just throw the party while im gone who knows people can assholes sometimes. God im bored ive been too lazy to download any new songs so ive memorized all the tunes to all of my CKY songs FUN! oh yea and the Kill Bill soundtrack (cool old Japanese anime music) Thats such an awesome movie. You should all go see it now i want to ILL COME WITH! OH! so cool my friend Aly (from sowers) KICKASS! cousin is one of Bam Margera's best friend and is on CKY (the show) and Viva La Bam (im not gonna say which guy it is cause Aly will get pissed at me probably) So anyways there is this CKY (the band) DVD screening like next Tuesday and we might be bale to go and her cousin and get us VIP passes since hes close with the band ^_^ YAY! but unfortunately, its in West Hollywood (beware of the gays) and you need an adult if your under 18 DAMN! I must go to this. Well thats all for know...might something else to the site and then go read cause ill be damned ive im gonna start working on my englsh homework...wow i didnt know that i wrote all that shit LONG! same as usual...bored nothing to do...everything depresses me now... well sliightly better mood. guess i do got SOME pretty good friends and through all this ive found some pretty good metal bands :) went over to lizzys house today *instead of going to the beach when i thought no one else was going...gggrrr* but had lots of fun there. got to stand and wait a million years for lizzy to pick out a jacket...found some cool nightmare before christmas stuff though and of course i didnt have any money to buy it then went back over to her house and her cousin came over and we killed people on age of mythology *i know my a retard* and watched Viva La Bam *i pity and hate the poor fool who doesnt watch that show* and then went around hitting fruit with baseball bats...nothin much but still fun! trying to find some more spooky pictures to share with you all. fucking geocities wont let me post the other really good ones poo :-( aw fuck this sux...part of me thinks that im ugly and will never get attractive and that i will never amount to anything so theres no point in me living anymore. but then again htere is another voice telling me to wait that in time...ull become very pretty *i hardly think so* and u'll get a boyfriend that loves you very much and you mite actually become an actress! all you havta to do is wait and find out. but lately the black is growing and the light is begining to fdae and i honestly dont know wat to think. satiscally, this is the prime time that kids commit suicide. hhmmm interesting become a satistic with all the rest of those dead kids or nail this depression and try thinking bout the good things...well knowimg myself im most likely going to stick with the notion of killing myself. god damn i honestly dont know what to do...im just not a happy person rite now...everytime i think about killing myself i start to cry i really dont know what to do i can even see how it would happen...maybe take an overdose of sleeping pills or be a bit more...heroic and shoot myself or sumthing maybe a decapitation would be interesting...god i need sum help...and a hug... as always im em proven wrong...besides the fact that i do suck at acting i care too much about what other people think too much about what other people think of me and you cant have that in this profession otherwise you wont get anywhere. then i think maybe im not cut out to be an actress and that just brings me down again cause like i said its been a life-long dream to be an actress...the money the fame the fun of experiencing all this the fact that you do something that brings people into another world for 2 hours and of course the super hot actors ;) *sigh* i wish i didnt care, how much happier i would be. I here all this stuff people say things like "oh shes such a poser!" they say such things and they dont even know who their talking about! how fucked up is that!?!people dont realize that after they've had their fun degrading people, their victims still hear their words ringing in their ears. thats how a lot of these people get murdered. at some point they create their "murders" through some mental or physical pain they inflict on people. (heh im getting all this from comics...but if it works...) i wonder how many sleeping pills i would havta take to not wake up again? i think ill havta go look that up. fine i take sum of it back i do have a FEW friends that would stay true but none to sure about all the rest...bunch of snakes in the grass well here comes that wonderful super happy feeling...wats that word kids? D-E-P-R-E-S-S-I-O-N!!! just i see all the things going on around me and i think that none of this will ever be mine stuff like happiness for one, boyfriends and all that good stuff, friends and everything that goes with it. I can honestly say, i have no REAL friends. i think of friends as people who are there wen u need them most and none of my "friends" qualify. I keep telling myself that this crappy time will end and it will be fun times from here on out but these times just get longer and longer and i cant help but thinking that there will never be one single happy memory for me ever again. but of this is all my own fault i know but...damn i just cant explain it...maybe this will "Do you ever get that funny feeling. that itch right below your skin? that itch down by your wrists that only a razor blade will scratch?" i got it from someone on my buddylist...it seems i feel like that constantly know...god dman this sucks I'M A semi GOOD PERSON!! WHY ARENT GOOD THIGNS COMING TO ME?!?! fucking unjust god. heh i was talking to paul last nite and he brought up a good point. Jesus, good guy, did good things and he got crucified for it but then look at HIlter one of the most evil people in our history and he nearly took over all of europe! what in gods name is wrong with the world if this kinda shit happens??? Then i notice all this other shit. I'm in media and we had our psa filming the other day and i just decided to be in it cause ya know...i just did. I watched the film today and i thought dear god em i a horrible actress. the worst part is that my entire life ive wanted to become an actress and actually being able to se my dream fade away is really depressing. wats the point of living if you can't fulfill ur dream? the more and more i think about it the more i become settle to just pull that fucking trigger and end this horrible nightmare that is, unfortunately, my life. I hate all these people that think that people who are depressed and think about killing themselves are stupid and retarded. These people hav serious issues or sum serious shit is happeneing to them and it pains me to see how unsy,pathetic some people can be. *woah this is a long entire* i try to imagin wat it would be like if i was never born or if i had killed myself earlier. and honestly, i cant see if any different. its not like im important or em going to be anything more then sum...loser. Wow the more i read what i just wrote, the more i really DO want to kill myself...well atleast i really couldnt say my death was based upon people...maybe except for a few. once last thing "sometimes, you can cry until there is nothing wet in you. You can scream and cruse to where your throat rebels and ruptures. You can pray, all you want, to whatever god you think will listen. And, still, it makes NO difference. It goes on, with no sign as to when it might release you. And you know that if it ever did relent...it would not be because it cared." i really need another page MY PICTURES WONT WORK ON HERE!!! WWWWHHHHYYY!?!?! *sigh* i just deleted my johnny depp pages...WHY!?!? well i guess sum people mite be happy...i dont even think many people go on here my page isnt very interesting maybe ill make a lil art ring hav everyones drawings that mtie draw sum stuff...any ideas? well in my overwhelming johnny grief there is a ray of hope...the wall in my bedroom NEED MORE PHOTOS!!! the wall is covered ^_^ such a stalker God i hate people, unfortnuately, cant live with em cant live without em. but i em enjoying myself at the moment. I think i could stand to lose weight (yes i already know that i em insane like all the voices in my head and my imaginary cat chester who comes to the rescue wen the monsters attack me wen im alone *he looks like the cheeto cat :)* and a whole shitload of other probelms!!) but like a bunch of people were like "did you eat today?" and kristina fed me chips the other day im too lazy to feed myself ^^ and if ur thinking im retarded well ilready noe that too...very self concious...ANYWAYS!!! today was my psa filming and i swear to god it was so bad...i hate these things i wanna do like real movies remakes that would be kewl but too expensive i guess...damn low-budget skools...WELL ANWYAYS!! heh i got a black jacket at tjmax for like $15...juss add sum stars on the sleeves it would be like $50 over at hot topic...stupid inflation...well im still trying to get my "artwork" up on here so...TTFN FOR NOW!! HALLOWEEN WAS SO MUCH FUN!!! of course i had a great costume 80s punk person and i had my bra out on the outside of my costume so i got a bunch of extra candy ^^ lotta fun went over to drews party for a bit even more fun! then spent the nite at lizzys HURRAY!!! all the fun this weekend...gonna get so fat...damn freakin halloween and their plot to make kids obesis *and i cant speel all on count of teh candy DAMN THEM ALL!!! goes off into a sugar high...* damn the drawings wouldnt work...fucking geocities... WOO HOO! i juss added in sum of my own drawings crappy as they may be. WELL! look at the pictures part and tell me what ya think or if u wanna see the real ones cuz they look a hell of a lot better...SIGN THE GUESTBOOK WEN UR DONE ANYWAYS!!! im bored...GO SEE KILL BILL! that movie is awesome im really bored...nothing to do...tracey came over today lotsa fun! watched pirates of the caribbean and stared at the beautifulness of johnny depp...me and tracey r gonna try and find auditions of potc2...still really bored... once of my contacts came out during media and i waslking round blind and i ran into a bunch of people and a volleyball net...THAT WAS FUN! |
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