[04/21/01] I don't want to get old.

My left achilles started hurting yesterday. It's not persistent, but if I apply pressure to it or move it around in a certain way, it hurts. It's a nuisance.

I just asked Andrew about what a possible cause was for this. He didn't know; he said sometimes when he's walking his knees, shoulder, back, etc. would start to hurt. And then he mentioned something about "imagine what's going to happen when you're 60 years old."

I don't want to.

I think it's because we're both inactive and out of shape (well, his pains might be because of injuries received during football as well). I'd love to get more active and be in better shape, but it's hard. And the results are so slow, so you wonder if it's even worth it to keep up.

But it's not just aching bodyparts that scare me from being old (I never even thought of that until he mentioned it). It's just the fact that...I'll be old. Sex won't be as exciting/adventurous/experimental as it is now (not that I'd know about such things...). And...well...I guess that's it.

As long as my health stays intact, living at an old age shouldn't be a bad thing at all. I'll have my loving wife, and get to see my grandchildren. And maybe I'll still be doing something kinda neat. Being "retired" is something I don't really want. I want to be financially secure. That's all. Working should be fun, as long as it's something I like. I hope I don't turn out to be a grumpy old man.

I am really bored. The thought of doing my cs231 homework is scaring me. But I can't chicken out and play EQ. I want to go outside, but it looks like it might rain. That might be fun, getting soaked. But only on the way back home.