It got up and went--

How do I know my youth is all spent?
My get-up-and-go has got up and went.
My joints are stiff and filled with pain
The pills I take give me no gain.

I rub in the ointment like fury I do
Each pain when it leaves comes back with two.
But in spite of it all I am able to grin
When I think of the places my get-up has been.

Old age is GOLDEN I have heard it said.
But sometimes I wonder as I get into bed-
My 'ears' on the dresser, my 'teeth' in a cup,
My 'eyes' on the table until I wake up.

Ere sleep comes each night I say to myself,
"Is there anything else I should lay on the shelf?"
Yet I'm happy to know as I close the door,
My friends are the same as in days of yore.

Since I have retired from life's competition
Each day is filled with complete repetition.
I get up each morning and dust off my wits
Go pick up the paper and read the 'o-bits'.

If my name isn't there I know I'm not dead;
I get a good breakfast and go back to bed.
The reason I know my youth is all spent-
My get-up-and-go has got up and went!

Author unknown

You know you are over the hill if....

Your back goes out, but you stay home.
You and your teeth don't sleep together.
You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you're not wearing any.
At the breakfast table you hear snap,crackle,pop and you're not eating cereal.
When you wake up looking like your drivers license picture.
It takes two tries to get up from the couch.
When you yell at your kids to "turn that darn music down".
When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
When happy hour is a nap.
When you're on vacation and your energy runs out before your money does..
When you say something to your kids that your mother said to you and you always hated it
When all you want for your birthday is to, not be reminded of your age.

Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer.
Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.
You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
The pharmacist has become your new best friend.
Getting lucky means you found your car in the parking lot.
The twinkle in your eye is only a reflection from the sun on your bifocals

The iron in your blood turns to lead in your pants.
It takes twice as long to look half as good.
If everything hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.
If your house catches fire and the first thing you grab is your metamucil.
You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your head the whole time.
You get two invitations to go out on the same night and you pick the one that gets you home the earliest.
You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.
You give up all your bad habits and still don't feel good.
You get to the check out line,see how long it is,and decide what you have in your buggy isn't worth the wait.
You have more patience,but actually it's just that you don't care anymore.
Rocking in a rocking chair feels like a roller coaster ride.
You confuse having a 'clear conscience' with a bad memory.
You finally 'get your head together' and your body starts falling apart.
You turn off the lights for economic reasons instead of romantic reasons
You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even remember being on top of it.
Getting a little action means your prune juice kicked in