Westside

Random Musings




Basketball = Unity - 4/12/2000


How does basketball promote unity? Well, when I first played ball I really sucked at it... I didn't want to play at first cuz I was scared that I'd fuck up and I didn't want to let the team down. I was playing with one other friend of mine and we picked up two strangers to make it four all together. So we started playing and it was cool cuz the two strangers were totally supportive and they tried to help me play better. To top it off, the two guys weren't even asian... they were black... so it was cool that no racial factor came into play. Most of the time you don't see that kind of unity... asians usually hang with asians and other races hang with their own too. As I played more b-ball throughout the years, I noticed the same phenomenom happening... all different races coming together playing a game that we all love... basketball. It's too bad we don't see this happening in the real world very often... maybe we should make it a law to play basketball or something... that way all the racism and discrimination will slowly fade away and we won't be scared to interact with one another. So the next time you want to see magic happen... go out to your local playground b-ball courts and watch the races come together.


GOD - 3/20/2000


Is there a God? An emphatic "Yes" comes to my mind. We would be really egotistical to think that the majesty of this earth that we live on was created by a chance event. Even the "Big Bang" theory has to originate somewhere... I mean why go Kaboom in the first place. In my mind, everything happens for a reason, and the reason behind the happenings is because of God Himself. Life is basically one giant test that He's putting you through and he wants to see how you come out of it. Sure, you're saying "since God knows everything, why put us through some damn test in the first place... is He so sadistic that He takes joy in watching us squirm." Well, the funny thing is that he also gave us this little thing called free will... it's basically a license of independence which allows us to fuck around which ever way we choose. Kinda cool, huh. God knows what may happen in the future but the future itself is not set in stone... there are an infinite many possibilities and he's allowing us to pick which of these infinite possibilities to travel. Hella dope if you ask me.


Evolution of Love - 1/07/2000


Hot Daym, I'm updating the journal and this section in the same day...WOAH! First off, I'd like to say that as we grow older our taste for love seems to evolve with time. In other words, we are attracted to different types of people in terms of looks and personality. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know what you're saying... "Big F-ing discovery there you idiot"... well it's just a random thought, so screw you! Okay, now that I've failed miserably at an attempt at comedy... onward to the important stuff. At least for me, I'm looking for a mature type of personality... someone I can relate to on a more intellectual level... I can't stand the type of woman who looks in the mirror and says: "Oh my gawd, I'm like so pretty... daym I'm so pretty... let's go gold dig some poor SOB and take his money." Okay, maybe it's not that extreme as I make it out to be, but they're out there... both men and women. I'm sure as women grow older they're looking for the same thing in a guy.. someone they can settle down with. What's tough is finding someone with an exciting personality as well as physical attractiveness. That to me is the most difficult aspect of all and down right frustrating. I've been with great looking women but they've bored the hell outta me, and I've been with women who are fun to be with and know how to hold a conversation but just don't do it for me on a physical level. I'm sure most of you have felt that same frustration before so all together now: This Mutha Fucking Sucks!!!! Ah yes, don't we feel just a little better... cussing for me is a cure all for everything so I'm sorry if I've harmed your little virgin ears. I can remember a time in high school when I had this idealistic outlook on love... when it was grand and all encompassing and everything turns out just like the movies. Unfortunately the movies left out the part when there are petty arguements, bickering, jealousy, envy, guilt, and sometimes downright nastiness.. and I don't mean kinky sex. After a couple relationships, love has taught me that I haven't felt it's full impact yet... nope I haven't been in love yet. It's taught me that it's not always perfect, and I shouldn't be so judgemental all the time when it comes to relationships. It's okay to fight and bitch once in awhile cuz no one can be perfect like me...heh heh... okay I do have some flaws. You gotta take the good with the bad and sometimes for some reason it can be really bad. When you see other people in relationships you think they got it all good and shit, but you don't see the complete picture when they aren't around you. It's okay to wait around for that special someone, but don't wait too long. The right one might come along, but you might pass them up cuz you have a hangup with one of their habits or something... that would be unfortunate. Take it from me, I know I've probably passed up on some women that weren't up to my attractiveness ratings system and I'll probably regret it down the line. The key to my line of thought on this subject is to have your taste for love evolve. It's hard to balance between the looks and personality but something has to give sooner or later or you won't ever be happy. Good Luck Everybody!


Jaded Wavelengths - 2/11


With Valentines Day fast approaching, I've come across and felt the heat of jaded emotions emanating from single people. This disturbs me. I'm single at the moment too, but I don't have this air of cynicism about love. Mostly what I hear from them is "V-day is a gimmick created by card companies to make money, and people should show love to their significant other all the time not just on V-day." I agree V-day may be a gimmick created by card companies, but how do you know that people just show love on V-day. I'm sure there are alot of couples out there that show their love on other days too...not just V-day. Other things that I hear are "I haven't met anyone worth giving my love and attention to". My question is this, how do you know who's worth giving your attention to if you don't give them a chance first? Many people form opinions based upon their first impression...that to me is unfair. Who knows what you could be missing out on if you blow ppl off so quickly. Personally I think many of these cynical thoughts are born out of envy. Envy of people who do have stable relationships and have no problem of displaying them in public. Another reason for these cynical thoughts may originate from having a previous bad or abusive relationship. People who are hurt from previous relationships usually build up this wall of cynicism, or I'd like to term "jaded wavelengths". They don't open their hearts to love anymore and don't give others a chance to form an emotional attachment to them. In other words, they don't want to have a boyfriend or girlfriend anymore. That my friends is pretty sad. As soon as you close your heart to love, then what's the point to life. If you look at my definition to the meaning of life below you'll see that the meaning to life is love. So without giving yourself the chance to experience love, why the hell go on living. To me you're just wasting space. I guess you could show other forms of love by helping others and loving your family, but there's still some emptiness there. If you're under 40yrs old and you don't allow yourself to have a significant other, there is something wrong with you. Please consult a psychiatrist...therapy would be good for you at this point. But what if you've been hurt in a relationship and you don't want anyone in your life right now? Well, time heals all wounds and you should eventually get over it. I say 6 months to a year is plenty of time to get over a bad relationship. So listen up all you jaded, cynical people out there, open up your hearts to some good lovin'. Chances are you'll find a soul mate when you least expect to. You don't wanna pass up on a love that could last a lifetime. Cuz if you keep being a hardrock, closing your heart all the time, you could wake up the next day at 40yrs old... alone. And that would really SUCK.


The Meaning of Life


Yes, I've discovered the meaning of life so you can stop searching for the answer to this question. The meaning of life...drumroll please...is love. Yeah,yeah, yeah, I know what you're saying..."Damn, he really fucked up on this answer"...but hear me out first. What do human beings need most of all to survive besides food, water, and shelter... they need love to help sustain them through all the hardships and good times. Everyone of us searches for that one eternal flame that we can call our own.. someone who will love us unconditionally and accept us for who we are. And "No", that love doesn't stop after you find someone to marry. After you get married, that love is sustained through your partner and through your kids. Does that mean that priests and nuns have no meaning to life cuz they don't get married? Hell no, their love is just expressed through their parishoners and God. You see, there are many different forms of love. One can express them by just caring for a friend or doing good works for the betterment of society and mankind. The way I look at it, there isn't enough love in this world. Maybe if everyone stopped judging one another and started trusting each other more, there would be less war and human suffering. Sure, this probably sounds too idealistic and naive, but hey you gotta start somewhere. I have met way too many jaded, cynical people to last me a lifetime. So much negativity is bad for one's spiritual health. The next time you see someone, try to have an open mind and smile once in awhile... something as simple as smiling can go a long way in brighting up someone's day. =)


The Romantic Side


Aiight, here's the section that everyone's been waitin' on.

When I look at love and romance in the 90s I see one thing missing nowadays, respect. Speaking from a guys point of view, I have seen a lot of homeboyz straight up violate their women and treat them like piece of meat. The realms of chivalry and being a gentleman are all but dead in this world of mack daddy playas. Is it too much to ask to say "please" and "thank you" and open doors for ladies and allow them to pass through first. Personally I think romance is a dying subject that most people don't even think about nowadays. There are only a handful of brothas out there that will even take the time to do the little things and make their woman feel special. I kinda find it disappointing that lot's of guys have lost the ability to be a gentleman. I know too many people who cheat and fool around from one person to the next.

I'm one of those asian guys who talks tough and may look tough, but has a heart of gold inside. I'm one of the few remaining guys who believes in true romance. If I like a woman I will go all out for her, write romantic poetry and love letters, pamper her, make her feel special, and basically try to sweep her off her feet. However, I don't believe in doing that for just any girl. I can spot a player from a mile away, so the girl has to be true and not fool around. But I ain't one of those fools that has to dictate everything and try to control his woman, and make her carry a pager at all times jus so I can check up on her. Independence is important and freedom to do other things is vital to any healthy relationship.

As for my personality, I'm kinda shy and quiet at first, but once you get to know me, there's raging passion, humor, and sensitivity inside. I'm also stubborn and opinionated, and prolly a cocky bastard at times, but I'm also a person who can admit his mistakes, and give props to others. I'm a sophisticated brotha and I like to enjoy the finer things in life.

The type of girl I like is sweet, sensitive, cheerful, outgoing, strong, mature, and has a shy innocence about her. For some reason, I'm really into tomboys...prolly cuz I can relate to them better and we have more things in common. Of course looks are important (I'd be lying if I said it wasn't), but that also attracts alot of attention from other guys which could lead to bad situations. Then again if the girl is nice but below average on looks, I just won't feel attracted toward her and that doesn't work either. Yah, I guess I'm pretty picky when it comes to finding someone I'm truly interested in. I've been on dates but I just can't seem to find anyone I'm really compatible with. Sometimes I find myself wondering if I'll ever find that perfect someone. Sure, people say "sooner or later you'll meet that perfect someone...jus be patient", but I think that's jus a bunch of bullshit. Sorry but that doesn't make me feel any better..they're jus words. In this harsh cruel world where society judges you on popularity, looks and money, it's hard to find someone that will truly like you for jus "You".


The true definition of a playa


When most people think about playas they think about these guys who are dressed all nice, have sooped up cars, and have a new girlfriend every other week. I'll tell you straight up that I hate those so called "playas". People who play with other peoples' feelings and emotions are fake ass pimps who have no direction in life. To me those people are a bunch of fakes trying to look cool by driving in a car that mommy and daddy bought them and walking around giving off this impression like they're the shit. Just what do they have to be cocky about anyways? Do they have a job? Are they acing their classes in school and have a plush job waiting for them when they get out? Do they even know what they want to do in the future? Do they have any direction at all? The answer to all these questions are most likely "HELL NO". By the way, this also applies to all you women out there that think they can just use a brother and free load off other people all their life.

Let me tell you about who the real playas out there are. People who have dreams for a better tomorrow and get off their ass to go do something about it. People who work hard in school and get a "money" paying job. People who respect other peoples' thoughts, ideas, and feelings. Those so called nerds that everyone looks down on are the real "playas" out there. They are the ones who'll get that 60k job, buy the nice houses and cars, and will be running the country.

It's funny, everytime I walk on campus and see those wannabe ganstas hanging out, smoking their cigarettes, and planning on how they're gonna waste their time that evening, it just makes me wanna laugh. It makes me wanna ask them "Where tha hell are you gonna be in 10 years? Don't you feel the least bit guilty for wasting your parents money by partying your life away?". To me, those guys are the real losers out there. A few years from now while they're working at McDonald's asking "Would you like fries with that?", I'll be passing them by in my M3.

So the next time you see those so called "playas" out there, just remember who the true "playas" really are, they're the ones that'll inherit the earth.