The latest wrestler fashions.... Ok. So admittedly I am not the most fashion conscious person. My biggest choice in the morning (besides deciding between my Y2J or Jerichoholic shirt! hehe) is deciding between jeans or khakis, and then between cargo or regular style. I don't worry too much about my hair, one functional, practical hairstyle works for me, and my choice of jewelry is eccentric, to say the least. So maybe I can't complain too much...but......just read on to see who sucks and who's the best dressed wrestler of them all!

By a show of hands, who hates those spandex shorts with the suspender thingys? (What Kurt Angle wears) Those get to me the most, I wanna puke every time I see Angle coming out like that. (And by the way...wearing the American flag like that should be a crime!) It just looks so....WCW and un-professional. (Think high-school wrestling. Ahhhhh!) Luckily no one really wears those any more, except for Tazz, but I can deal with that because Tazz makes it look dirty and bad. Now that we've gotten one of the worst offenders out of the way, let's move onto another, one Val Venis. What some other wrestling-chicks see in this guy I don't know. Any charms he has are lost on me, I just find him nasty and disgusting. But enough about his looks, what about the pink and purple "V" shorts and the towel? Yuck! Big pinkish V's on the ass and groin areas of your underwear is not an example of "dressing to impress", Val...

So who else has offended the fashion police? Perry Saturn. Pink underwear? This is in the same category as Val Venis. I don't know of any normal guy who wears pink under wear, and believe me, I've checked! ; ) Hey, I bet Perry wears women's underwear off the job too... hehe

Well now that you've seen some bad examples, let's go to some good ones in comparison. The top of my list would be Too Cool. Granted, I'm just a suburban white girl and can't go around talkin' "homey homey yo" unless I mean it as a joke, so I'm not the best judge of the fashion Too Cool wears. But these guys have made the baggy-look very cute! Sure, laugh if you will, but admit it. Scotty's hair (no matter what comments you have to say about it) is always done to perfection, and their colors are never conflicting. At least give them that much.

The next guys who I give you as a good example would be the Hardy Boyz. Who (females here) doesn't like a guy with great muscles that wears those shirts? Nice pants, yummy shirts. It's cool. The only thing I'm a bit shaky about is Jeff's painted nails. I'm a bit intimidated by a guy who has nicer nails than me. (You'd laugh at my own nails...cut short so I can play guitar, and with flaky black nail polish) But no matter how weird the color of Jeff's dye job on his hair is, it's never done badly. And Matt? Perfect!

A more "normal" wrestler look...Chris Jericho. "C'mon baby" you know that I couldn't leave him out on this list. He's not "weird" or "extreme" like the before mentioned Too Cool and Hardy Boyz. He's always got nice and tight pants (A new pair every week! The man of 1004 pairs of wrestling tights!) that show off his fine butt, and when he is wearing a shirt, it's either nice and shiny (Doncha just dig those little shiny shirts?), or the Jerichoholic or Y2J shirt, which you can't go wrong with. (Beleive me...a main part of my fashion are those two shirts!)

Edge and Christian now. Edge...oh-so-tight spandex pants (Mmmm...yummy! And a new color every week!), nicely done, beautiful blond hair, cool trench coat (Ya gotta dig the trench coats!), and as always, a pair of very cool glasses. Christian...he's improved recently. I remember seeing him wearing a poofy Goth shirt. Sure, it looks great if you're going to the Renaissance Festival (Don't laugh! I've worn those there before!) but it just doesn't inspire admiration when worn by a wrestler. His see-through mesh shirt is a big improvement. Drives chicks wild too. I speak from experience. ; )

The Rock. A Brahma-bull on his ass? I can deal with that!!! And what about those expensive shirts he wears, always un-buttoned, showing off those nice pecs of his? The glasses? Coolness to the extreme.

Other honorable mentions: Mr. Ass...ya gotta love a guy who flaunts his nice ass! Kane...in case you haven't already noticed, I go for the freakish look. The red and black look he has going is totally him. The Undertaker's got a nice biker look, too. It's him. The Acolytes...boots and jeans. My favorite! Test...leather pants! Yummy!

So, to bring my griping and praising of the latest wrestler fashions to an end, I'll say this. The most important thing for a wrestler to be, is to be himself. Whatever makes him look the best, he should go with. Think about it...how would Rikishi look in Edge's tight spandex instead of his oversized thong? Do you even want to think about it?!?! And didn't Too Cool become more popular once they changed their look from the rainbowish spandex to the cool baggy look we love them for today? And the Hardy Boyz...the version of N Sync (Oh god I hate to say that! I need to slap myself for comparing these hotties to the yuckiness of N Sync! ::slap:: That's better...) to the female wrestling fans. A lot of people didn't go for their plaid spandex. The Godfather wouldn't even have his beloved gimmick anymore if he quit dressing like a pimp. Steve Austin lets his attitude shine through in the way he dresses, although we see his attitude shine through in other ways, too. The bright green DX clothing? The DX 69? A catchy gimmick. Even Kurt Angle ties in his "American Hero" gimmick with his choice of clothes. And Albert...he certainly has gotten more time in the ring since joining up with Test and covering up that hairy backside of his. So, I'll end it this week by saying this about the WWF (here comes the philosophizing folks!) the majority of the most popular wrestlers today are the ones with the most attractive, flamboyant, extreme, or interesting style of dress. No matter what they try to tell you...clothes do make the man. Now enough of this serious crap...get that image of Rikishi wearing tight spandex back in your mind! Curving around that bulbous buttocks of his, ain't that a lovely thought?! Hey, why not get a bit graphic here. Once I finish writing this, I don't have to read it anymore! Back that ass up, big man! (Yes, I AM a Rikishi fan!) Now that I leave you with "sweet" dreams, I really mean that I am going to end it right here and now. So, in the immortal words of Mick Foley, "Have a nice day!" =)

~*Stacy*~

And a special "THANKS!" to ~*Serra*~ for helping out a lot and putting up with my pestering and bickering over this particular topic. She deserves some credit! Thank you Serra...at least one of us has the benefit of HTML knowldge! =)

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