JOKES
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big burly Sardar is Travelling in a Madras
Bus. It's a Hot Day and he iswithout
a seat. He glares
towards the Madarasi sitting on a seat beside theaisle, gives
his mustache a twirl and says "Oee asi sher de puttar haan"The
Madarasi feels the aftershock of this, and moves in his
seat, the Sardargrabs
the opportunity and sits with
him. A few minutes go by, then the Sardargives the
Madarasi another glare - twirls his mustache and says "Oee asi sher
de
puttar haan"Our Madarasi friend who is
visibly shaken leaves his seat for
the Sardar, getsoff
the bus at he next stop - runs across to the other side and
shouts out tothe Sardar"Sardarji ek baat bataana - tumhare maa Jungle
mai
gaye thee ya sher ghar mainaaya tha"
Kuch Kuch Hota Hai,Exam paas aaye, sir mera
dukhayeTeacher ne na jaaane kyun,
dande dikhaye,Ab to
mera sir, jaage na sota hai,Kya karoon haye, kuch kuch hota
hai....
Joke Send By Sunny
Soldier Soldier.....pressure cooker khol karSabzi
meri uraa le gaya
Joke
Send By Sunny
There was this red-indian tribe in america.And it
was this tradition in everynew
year that the chief of
the tribe had to fart!And so the new year came and there
was big preparations, but the chief was notable to fart.So the sad
villagers
went to the tribal doctor and told,"big
chief no fart!"so the doctor
gave a portion of
potato and beetroot.they took it but it didn'twork.So they
went to the doctor again with a sad face.they said,"Big chief no
fart!"So the doctor gave them a portion of chilli and
beans.They took that
but it didn't work either.They
went to the doctor again with asad face and said,
"Big chief no fart"This time the doctor got fustrated and mixed
all
the portions he had and gave itto them.They took it
and the chief farted so loud
that they were all
happy.but later they came sadly to the doctor again and said,
"BIG FART NO CHIEF!"
Joke Send By Sidhi Sudhakar
A man walks in to the bar. As he enters the bar,
he realizes that it wasa gay
bar. but, he thinks, what
the hell all he wants is a beer. so heapproaches to a
bartender and asks for a beer. The bartender asks " what's
thename of your
dick?" the man replies " look
man, i am not one of those, all iwant is
a beer".
the bartender says "sorry man, i can't serve untill you give
methe name of your dick". So the man realizes
that it's not worth arguing
withhim. he thinks
for a while and asks the fella on his right hand side
"what'sthe name of his dick?" the guy replies with smile on his
face,
NIKE!! the guyasks why nike?, so he says as a
slogan of JUST DO IT!!. The guy
turns to hisleft and
asks another fella what's the name of his dick?. the fella
answers"FORD" and adds HAVE YOU DRIVEN LATELY?.The man thinks
for
awhile and then callsa bartender. The bar tender
asks him if he has came up with
the name of hisdick.
the man replies "SECRET', The bartender with a puzz!le
look on his face, ask the man why secret?. the man with smile on his
facesays
STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN MADE FOR A WOMAN!!!
Joke Send By TONY
Ek bar ek ladka tha, uski bhes(buffalo)chori ho
jati hai. Phir wo apneneighbhor
ke pas jata hai
or kehta hai mere bhes chori ho gei, me kya karo. Uska neighbhor
kehta hai police to ja ke report kar. Phir bhes wala kehta
hai mepolice wale to
kya kahu ga? Uska neighbhor
kehta hai, police wale ko jahkekehna bhe "rat
ka
time tha, kute bohkre(barking) the, tare chamak re the or choraya bhes ko
utha ke le gya". Pher bhes wala police station
jata hai or bohthnervous ho
jata hai or galte se police
wale ko kehta hai "rat ka time tha, tarebhokre
the, kute chamak re the, or bhes aaye chor ko uta ke le gye.
A man comes home, runs into his house, slams the
door and shouts,"Honey,
pack your bags, I won the
lottery!!!!"The wife says, "Wow! That's
great! Should I pack for the ocean orshould I pack for the
mountains?"He
says,"I don't care. Just
get the hell out!"
May need knowledge of punjabi - In a urdu shairee
program, there wasintroduction
of each shayer (poet).
Urdu Shayer said - Janab khuda ke is nacheezkhaksaar
jarrey ko Akhtar Hussein kahte hain. There was a punjabi Shayer
sittingthere and
he heard this introduction and thought
to himself God he is so humbleand has
dropped him down
to nothing how would I give my intro. His turn comesand he
says- Goon dur goon, phitey moon, is ullu they patthe noo
mahender singhkehnde
hein.
Joke Send By Vinod Arora
One day banta went to school!!!and his teacher
asked him aquestion!!banta
standup and answer my
question?name two animals who doesn't haveteeth????banta
answered my grandfather and my grandmother
There was a donkey and santa.One day his donkey was lost He went allover
the streets to find his Donkey But he did not find his
Donkey Santa wasvery
tired so he went to a garden to
relax in the garden there where two loversso one
lover
said"i can see the whole world in your eyes"!Santa
came!really!!please can you see my donkey anywhere
In a pub there is an irish man an englishman and a sardarJI AND A
PROSTTITUTE WALKSIN AND GOES UP TO THE THE ENGLISH MAN AND
SAYS ILL FUCK U ONLY
IF YOU WEAR A CONDOM SO HE FUCKS
HER AND THEN SHE DOES THE SAME TO THE IRISH MAN
AND
SADARJI. tWO WEEKS LATER SHE COMES BACK AND SAYS ALRIGHT WHICH ONE OF
YOU
BASTARDS DIDNT WEAR A CONDOM THE ENGLISHMAN SAYS I
WORE U WERE THE ONE THAT PUT
IT ON ME THE IRISHMAN SAID
U SAW ME PUT IT ON THE SARDARJI SAYS I PUT ONE ON
ASWELL
I EVEN CHOPPED IT OFF FROM THE FRONT CAUSE IT WAS TOO BIG FOR MY DICK.
ONCE,THERE WAS A MAN WHO DIDNOT KNEW ABOUT A TRASH BIN.ONE DAY HIS WIFE
SAID "THROW THE TRASH INTO THE TRASH BIN''.HE WENT OUT
SIDE AND SAID TO A
MAN"WHERE I CAN FIND A TRASH
BIN''.THE MAN SAID "THERE SHOULD BE A RED
BUTTON.IFYOU WILL PUSH THAT RED BUTTON IT'S MOUTH WILL OPEN.PUT YOUR TRASH
THERE.''HE SAWA GIRL WHO WAS HAVING A TIKA ON HER
FOREHEAD.HE PUSHED HER
FOREHEAD.THE GIRLSHOUTED.HE PUT
THE TRASH IN HER MOUTH.
Q: Similarity between a man and a mouse
A: they
both go behind holes
"TIME KIA HOOA HAI!"aik sardar ji har roz 12 o,clock par koi
no koi mistake kar dete thay. Un kibevi 12 bage unko dar ke
mare koi kaam nahin
deti thi k woh koi mistake kar
daingai. Aik din Doodh (Milk) wala din ko bara
(12)
baje aa giya. Sardarji ki bevibahir gaye hoi thi. Sardar ji doodh lene
gaye. Doodh wale in Sardarji se timepucha, sardar ji ke
Ghari wale hath main
doodh ki degchi thi. Unhoon nai
timedekhne ke leye hath ulta kia, sara doodh gir
giya,
or who khali hath ghar aagaye. Agle din phir 11:57 bage Doodh wala aaya or
time pucha. Sardarji nai ous dinGhari right hand main bandh
rakhi thi or degchi
left hand main thi. Time bataneke
leye woh easily right hand sai time dekh kar
bata sakte
thai. Usi wakt 12 baggaye. Sardarji nai degchi right hand main pakri,
or time dekhne ke liye hathulta kia. Phir sara doodh
gir giya, or Sardarji
khali hath ghar wapis aa gaye!
ek baar ek sardar ke ghar uska bahut purana friend aata haiSardarji usko
bahut jagah ghumate hai aur bahut khilate haiaur raat
ko jab sone ke baari aati
haito sardar ji pareshan ho
jate haikyoki unke paas ek hi bed hota haiwo apne
friend se bolte hai tu to mera bahut acha friend hai tu to bed par
hisojaaur
phir apni wife ko bolte hai tu to royal
family ki hai tu bhi bed par sojamai
niche so jata
huAur phir morning mai sab udthe hai to sardarji apne friend se
puchte hai raat kokoi problem to nahi huito unka freind bolta hai
nahisardar ji
phir puchte haito woh bolta hai waise to
sab dikh tha par tumhari wife ki aadat
kuch dikh
nahihaito sardarji puchte hai kyuto unka friend bolta hai ki sardarji
tumhari wife saari raat mera dick pakad karsoi thito
sardarji bolte hai ab sale
wo meri wife nahimai
thaaaaaaaaaa
In heaven each time someone came, the GOD stood up to give the person a
warm welcome.So everyone were standing in the line and so
were Lee Kuan Yew(x-pm
of singapore).But when his turn
came, GOD just shoke his hand and said
welcome.This made
him wonder y GOD did not stand up to welcome him, so he asked
GOD about it ,and GOD answered :"if i would have stood up , u would
have
takenmy seat as well!!"
A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow.
The horse falls into
a
mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken
to go and get the farmer
to help pull him out to safety. The chicken
runs to the farm but the farmer
cannot be found. So he drives the farmer's
Mercedes back to the mud hole
and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of
the
rope to his friend,
the horse, and drives the car forward saving him
from
sinking! A few
days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the
meadow again and the chicken fell into the
mud hole. The chicken yelled to
the horse
to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse
said, "I
think I can
stand over the hole!" So he stretched over
the width of
the hole and said,
"Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself
up."
And the chicken did and
pulled himself to
safety. The moral of
the story : If you are
hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes to pick
up
chicks.
LITTLE OLD
LADY A
little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I
have this problem
with gas,
but it really doesn't bother me too much. They never smell
and
are always silent. In
fact I've farted at least 20 times since I've been
here in your office. You didn't know I was farting
because they didn't
smell
and were
silent." The
doctor says, "I see. Take these
pills and come
back to see me next
week." The next
week the
lady goes back, "Doctor," she says,
"I don't know what the
heck you gave me, but now my farts...although still silent,
stink
terribly."
"Good," the doctor said, "now that
we've
cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your
hearing."
India was playing cricket match against Pakistan when sardar bet onthis.
He bet $500 for India. Pakistan won the
match and Sardar lost $800. Hisfriend
asked him
how did he loss $800 when the bet was for $500. Sardar Geereplied, I
bet $300 more on the highlights the same evening.
Once there was a guy who went to a bar and needed to use the bathroom.
So he asked the bartender if he could go, the bar tender
said "someone is
in theboys bathroom, so use the
girls but don't toush the 3 buttons" the
guy said
"ok"so he went in there and did what ever he needed to do and
saw the 3 buttons. The1st one said CA and he pressed it and
the cold air come
out. 2nd one said WA andpressed it
and warm air came out. 3rd one said ATR, he
pressed it
and woke up inthe hospital and he asked the nurse "what am I
doing here" the nurse said"remember the 3 buttons
well the 1st one
said CA= cold air 2nd one said WA= warmair and the 3rd one said ATR=
automatic
tampon
remover now if your looking foryour dick it's under the pillow!"