Within the confines of a police car The story of four stray souls starts anew, For these characters, by chance of fate, Have been united by a series of bizzare events, All of which occured in a quaint little plaza In a little 'ole town called Shibby Ville. But let not the name fool you, For this town was not in the least bit shibby. No sir, not one stinkin' bit And so our soon to be heroes set off! Although unwilling to go they go none the less. Off to jail they rode, Where for a few weeks they will bold The harsh bitter treatment of prison life, Where they must bare free food, Free hospitality, and dare I say, Running water! Oh the horror! While they try to hang on to their lives They find themselves with an abundance of time, Allowing them to become well acquianted... The Frenchman Born n' raised in France,this poor soul has been cursed, Doomed to forever speak with the most peculiar of accents. His accent is that of a Mexican. He's been taunted, mocked, and even bludgeoned, But he is not without good company, for he has with him a pet, A small little Tequila worm straight from Mexico called Ferret, Which he took from a drunk Mexican tourist With an empty tequila bottle. In his drunken ramblings, he claimed it to be magical, Saying that it has the power to spilt the Heavens And to summon Satan himself to do it's bidding. After he vomited and passed out, The Frenchman snatched it from his hands And gave birth to a new everlasting friendship On the day in question, The Frenchman was at Taco Bell All he wanted was a single taco, that's it But nooo, they had to cause problems for The Frenchman They claimed he was mocking them, harrassing them even. The Frenchman began to break down in tears, Crying for his beloved taco, but still they persisted. The police came and dragged him out as he struggled to stay. Being deprived of his taco, he grew spiteful. A new fire has erupted in his very soul, And thus, El Frenchman was born Frankfurt T. Bratwurst Here we find Frank, a freakish lil fella Spawned through the mischief of a novice witch, Who at one time failed at the art of cooking Still strived to become a chef through the wonders of magic. Starting off slow by turning chickens into chicken, And fish into fish, the witch attempted a pig. With a few gestures, a dozen words, and a newt, The pig vanished in an outpour of smoke, And in it's place was bratwurst, or so it seemed. At once it sprung up, sprouted legs n' arms And began to dance, and oh how it danced! The witch unaware of Frank's potential Simply threw it out and continued with her magic. After being battered, bruised, squished and dumped, (not in the potty sense you dirty little monkey) Frank found his way out of the garbage dump, And on his way out he spotted something... Superman!!! Well, an old broken Superman figure. Frank swiped it's cape, tied it on, And gained a newfound love of life As he set off into the world to continue to dance. (not to mention sing!) On the day of the arrest he was at a hot dog stand, Dancing on the counter by the register, Attracting the stares of many people. After watching Frank dance for a good 10 mintues, The cashier finally summoned the strength to ask, "Can I help you?" At that moment Frank stopped, walked to the man, Stared him straight in the eye and said in a high voice, "I want a hot dog!" Puzzled, the cashier further questioned Frank, "Wouldn't that be cannibalistic?" Frank stood there, pondered, and said, "Kid, look, I'm one hungry bastard, And if you or anyone else gets between me And MY food, I'm gonna jump down your throat, Choke you to death, dance on your face, And laugh. Oh how I'll laugh!" Agitated by this, the cashier n' Frank had a heated battle, And after many minutes had passed, Police arrested him for vulgarity, Disturbing the peace, and indecent exposure. Hobo Moe Claiming to have fallen from the sky, Moe spends his days ranting, raving, And gnawing on unsuspecting victims. When he first appeared people were calling him Joe. He tried to convince them that his name was Moe, but they laughed. Distraught, confused, and baffled, Moe became determined to find the answer to this mystery. In deep thought, Moe stood in an Arby's restroom, Staring at the mirror for nearly 7 hours When finally, he realized that on his shirt, Smack dab in the middle, it said, "Hi, I'm Joe" With jaw dropped and eyes glazed, he grew estatic! He tore off his shirt and burst forth from the restroom. Skipping with glee he ran up to the cashier, "I'm MOE! Feed me bacon!" The cashier responded with a policy as old as man "Sorry, no shirt, no service" Moe's eyes burned of a red fury, As he began to let loose a rant, A rant like no other, A rant that would put all rants to shame, A rant, of pure DOOM! Of course, for your safety it has been excluded, For a rant that powerful would result in an epileptic seizure. When the police arrived at the scene they found the cashier, Convulsing and foaming at the mouth, and the hobo? He was found on the powerlines, chatting with the squirrels Murdoc Here we find the embodiement of pure evil! Murdoc, the self proclaimed evil doppleganger of Jesus himself, Here to curse all of a mankind to an eternal damnation In the black fiery pits of Hell, where their flesh shall sear And their blood boil and their ears burst And their noses spew forth endless amounts of mucus! Yes, Murdoc is of a hateful nature And many compare him to an idiot with a lighter. You were beginning to think he was Satan himself, yes? No, Murdoc is merely a deranged lunatic, Who does more harm to himself than anyone else. Sure, he speaks of having powers beyond your comprehension But the "deadliest" weapon he wields are rocks, Wrapped in paper, and then lit on fire, They are then thrown at the desired target. One might be able to see some potential harm in this, But his aim sucks, making him quite the spectacle On the day of the arrest, Murdoc was at McDonald's, Sitting on a bench with a fairly large plastic clown. A clown that goes by the name, of Ronald/ After carving his name into this clown, (which he did nearly everyplace) An old lady was passing by with a poodle. The poodle barked, Oh how it barked at Murdoc. This infuriated Murdoc, and immeditely he lept, "You dare mock me, dog?! I am Murdoc! I am supreme! I am your MASTER!" Undaunted, the dog continued to bark. Murdoc, now at the end of his rope, Unsheathed one of his rocks, Set it aflame, and threw it at the mutt. Missing by what some would say a mile, He had struck a window at the restaurant, Causing it to shatter into a rain of glass. Murdoc, still in the stance he launched his rock in, blinked twice, and said, "CHEESE IT!" Attempting to run but failing miserably, He ran right into an officer, called there for another crime And was immediately thrown in the car with the others For now they are imprisoned, But soon they shall be released And when they are, they shall unite, And in a multitude of endless tales Ahey shall battle the corporate giants that are The Fast Food Industries!