|
Of course I would like to be President of the United States, especially in the current state of the world! Just think, with our current conflict with the entire Middle East, I could make up excuses to conquer them all and take all their resources! One by one, all of them will be in my possession, and very slowly I would make the U.S. into a militant country. Soon, I will rule the world! Britain, France, Germany, Russia, Italy, all of them will be mine! Then I will be able to say that I was the only person to ever rule the world, and rule it I shall with my iron fist! Sure, there will be a bunch of rebel groups that will try to overthrow my reign of terror (Did I say terror? I mean fun! My reign of fun for all who are under my power. Yes, already you begin to see the true glory of my vision...), but they will quickly be put to rest through the thought transmitters I have inserted into everyone's brains, so if any of them even thinks about defying my rule or taking the dog out for an evening stroll, *WHAM*! A koala bear parachutes from the sky and smashes his head in with a mallot. It's always handy having an army of koala bears at my disposal, they're so cute n' cuddly that you can't help but want to hug n' squeeze them, at which point you'll be dead cuz they're swift n' deadly like that. Always fear that which you do not fear, that way you'll never be caught off guard, I'll never make that mistake again after I asked one of the local zombies if he had some extra cash. I came up to him, and I was all like, "Hey man, do you have an spare change so that I could go grab a bite to eat?", then, you won't believe what happened next, the jerk kicks me in the shins and runs off! I mean, what the hell was that about??? I think he even clicked his heels once while he was running off. Stupid zombies....
Being as powerful as I will be, I will more than likely be paranoid of just about everything. Toilets, lamp shades, mimes, rulers that use the metric system, and possibly some rogue groups that just so happened to escape the implantation of my mind control devices. So, to prevent myself from being assassinated, I'll clone a bunch of hamsters and slap a mask featuring none other than myself on all of their cute little faces. That way, they won't be able to tell which is which, leaving them to slaughter hundreds of helpless, fuzzy-little hamsters while I'm laughin it up at my secret moon base. You know that whole man on the moon story? Well I'm the crazy dictator on the moon, commanding the world from thousands of miles away!!! BWA HAHAHAHA! They will never know whether or not I'm dead, but those chips in their brain stems will sure as hell prevent them from doing anything against my will, so they will live in fear forever! My munchkin robot army will continue my rule long after I'm dead, and everyone will be slaves to my design for all eternity... |
|
