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Welcome, and thank you for choosing to enroll in Lackawanna High School, the totalitarian school that for some reason is above the laws. Did I say totalitarian? What I meant to say was candy! Sweet lucious candy awaits you as you open the doors towards opportunities that you can only dream of! Our school days consist of 8 periods, and every day that's not a school day, there's none! Can you believe that? No where else will you find such a place! The teachers are always there when you need them, ready to disperse any knowledge that you may require in order to obtain the neccessary information you need to pass the courses. One teacher in particular is always ready to tutor her students in any way she can, and that teacher is none other than Ms.Chentfant. If she finds you making a mistake, she will promptly correct you and help you through your difficulties. She most certainly will not strap you down to your chair, whip you, stretch out your ear lobes, nail your feet to the floor, tear off your finger nails, and punch your kidneys untill you start coughing up blood. What makes you think she would ever do something crazy like that?
There are very few school rules, and even those are very leniant. You are not allowed to bring a blade into school any longer than 5 in, you can't urinate anywhere other than the bathroom, you must ask the teacher's permission before beating the hell out of somebody, you are only allowed to bring semi-automatic pistols into school (that means no automatics. Yeah, I know, it's a bogus rule), you can't threaten someone's life (only their well-being), you can't be failing 2 or more classes to play on a sports team (unless you're really really good, then they might alter your grades), and any messes you make, you must clean them up.
Well I hope you enjoy your stay here at LHS. Good luck and have fun! |
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