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My last day alive would be filled with mayhem and carnage! First, I'll go across the street and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to answer, I will use my incredible mind powers to make their head implode (that oughta look weird, I'm too used to seeing them explode). Afterwards, I use my telekinetic powers to raise the corpse from off the floor and skewer it onto one of the street lights. I will keep doing this repeatedly, going from one house ot the next, and possibly putting some twists on the way I slaughter my victims. Like, for example, a guy comes to answer the door, I use my powers to tear off all of his limbs, force them into his head, throw away the torso, and then make a lawn ornament out of it by using the legs in his mouth to make him stand and having his arms coming out of his ears. Spiffy, no? For another person, I might rip out each of their organs (except the stomach), force them all down the victim's throat, and then take out the organ-filled stomach and use it as sort of a pouch filled with organs! Not sure what I'd do with it though, maybe I'll just use the stomach as a sack and throw the organs at people walking along the streets while I'm flying overhead. Hell, I get pissed if a bird decides to crap on me, but to get an organ thrown on me? That's sick!
A few towns later, I'm guessin' that all of my various ideas on how to kill people would be exhausted, so then I'll just blow up everything! Using meteor showers, elephants, dirty diapers, one by one the cities shall fall to my mighty powers and there's nothing they can do to stop me!!! While I'm at it, I might as well check out what at Area 51 and all of them other secret government places, perhaps test some of the bombs they've been developing? Of course, nothing they could create could compare to my powers, but it's nice to see a little variation now n' then. By now, you must be thinking to yourself, "If he's so damn powerful, why hasn't he blown up the Earth already???". The answer is simple, it's because it's illegal to blow up the Earth. I mean, come on, use your brain a little. Besides, charred corpses don't make for very good company. |
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