Oh Greg, how wonderful you are. The wind is gone from the trees, and the earth dries up when you move away. Oh, please, great and wise one, interpret for us the words of gods, and tell us what we're really thinking. Tell us all the things that it hurts for us to think. We bask in your magnifincence. Pontificate to us so we may grovel. Point out to us things that are obvious because it hurts for us to open our eyes. Make us use the squeegy on our "third fucking eye". Clarify the insane babbling of the great Reverend Hicks. Oh great and wondrous Greg, we need you to do for us what we can not. We are like cows, chewing cud in your field of gloriousness. Impart your knowledge onto us so it may go in one ear and out the other. Oh, great and magnificent Greg, tell us! What are you words?

Do not hide from us, oh wise master!

Here is a picture for you, lovingly drawn in homage to your greatness!

 

We cannot reiterate enough how wonderful you are! We are only here to feed your ego! You are the coolest of the cool, the hippest of the hip! You are better looking than all of the men and women in Gap commercials! You are smarter than all of those in Mensa, and wiser than Oprah Winfrey! You know more than Encyclopedia Brittanica! You could beat up Bill Nye in a fistfight for sure! Ghandi has nothing on your humbleness! We bare our souls to you, and in our nakedness we are inferior! You are the perfect being and we strive to become like you! You are the best!

 

Some words from faithful devotee Tony:
"If it wasn't for Greg, I wouldn't be here today. Greg is my sun, my moon, my evening star. Greg is a many-splendored thing. Greg lifts us up where we belong. Greg knows no boundaries. And Iiii-I-I will always Greg you-oo-oo-oo... Did you know that Greg spelled backwards is "gerg", which is Swedish for "choke the chicken until its head pops off and it waddles around for several hours"?"

 

 

 

 

. <-- grain of salt