Greg loses his virginity when sex comes to get him!

I think I'll go join a Roman orgy, now
....
> Ted smells good
that dosen't matter....soon he will be dead and then
WE can go get married
mmmm....roman orgy....gaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
> no i said i was only doing it once
[Tue Jun 12 01:25:50 EDT 2001] Pontius Pilate: on second
thought ....
mom, what's an orgy?
I will kil the right one this time!
then you are gonna have to do it all over again....
*crucifies Homer Simpson*
haha....you have lied already
> why is that?
*DOLT*......dies
> and ted you just ignore him
okay mom
I am satisfied and will go back to my
orgy, now.
where are cookies?
> downstairs...you just can't eat all the peanut butter
ones cause dad likes those
You see, Ted, an orgy is where lots of
people get naked and have wild, passionate, anonymous sex
together.
bye, nwo.
what is sex?
[Tue Jun 12 01:27:52 EDT 2001] sex: orgy time
> what are you teaching my son?!?!?
You've finally come for me!
yes, people have me all the time
Take me now!!!
*grabs ahold of Yakshaman*
> is it time for the weather yet?
*grabs sex*
I have you now!
I'm having sex!
you just missed the weather
> ARGH
short commercial
> why don't you TELL KEE
> this air is sweeeeeet
> mmmmmm
> my boobs aren't sweaty anymore
haha, I am having Yakshaman!!! The virgin is being
deflowered now!!!
yay!
> ummm
I fucking hate flowers!
cause I ran in real quick and realized I had to do
it
no you don't, you hate taco bell
No I don't, that's Logan.
> no logan hates taco bell
> eheh
[Tue Jun 12 01:30:15 EDT 2001] Logan: hates Taco Bell

---

The Showdown with Shmeggery!

[Tue Jun 12 02:15:59 EDT 2001] Shmeggery: out and about
anybody seen my evil twin tonight
Schmegory! So there you are!
oh, is that you greg
> oh no
Yes, you picture-stealing fuckhead!
sorry about the water bill, but you know, drugs
and alcohol take money too
Stop ruining my life!
no, you ruined my like
*beats schmegory with a tire iron*
life
*runs around kee*
*Sits down and starts meditating*
*attacks Yakshaman with oart's self*
grr
> *kicks Shmeggery*
> you better knock it off
> Don't make me kick your ass again
*keeps meditating*
[Tue Jun 12 02:18:52 EDT 2001] angry spirits: summoned by
Yakshaman
Shmeggery slaps Yakshaman around with a large
trout. Heh heh
> *grabs Shmeggery by the ear and drags him to Yakshaman*
*nibble Schmegory's dick*
*pees on Yakshamans head*
*bite Schmegory's dick off*
*spit Schmegory's dick down his throat*
> *shoves Shmeggery into the angry spirits*
> you guys take care of him then
*tear Schmegory apart like at the end of
that Steven King flick*
[Tue Jun 12 02:20:02 EDT 2001] *Yakshaman*: what about it
impostor!
<*Yakshaman*> imposter!
<*Yakshaman*> how dare you use my name
*leave, satiated*

---

How many Yakshamans ARE there?!

[Tue Jun 12 02:21:55 EDT 2001] Yakshaman: the real one
thought you could drive me out, did you?!
hahaha
<*Yakshaman*> you imposter, how dare you come back in here
using MY name
you impostor, how dare you come back in here
using MY name
<*Yakshaman*> now you are mocking me
[Tue Jun 12 02:23:38 EDT 2001] .Yakshaman.: the REAL
Yakshaman
[Tue Jun 12 02:23:42 EDT 2001] Copyright lawyer: reptilian
<.Yakshaman.> How dare you BOTH use MY NAME!
My client, the real Yakshaman is suing
you both.
I'm suing.
<.Yakshaman.> that's right he's representing ME
<.Yakshaman.> I'm suing
No, he's represting ME
<.Yakshaman.> No, ME
grr
The true Yakshaman has no punctuation around
his name
And says grr a lot.
Everything else is a cheap knock-off...
<.Yakshaman.> grr
...intended to fleece consumers of Yakshamanly
products.
<.Yakshaman.> I grr too
But you don't pay have me on retainer,
.Yakshaman., socalled.
<*Yakshaman*> how many yakshamans are there
<.Yakshaman.> One, and I am he.
<*Yakshaman*> no, I am he
Quid pro quo, ipso facto habeus corpus, presto
chango, ears, eyes and nose know,
<*Yakshaman*> yeah, and I know too
nobody knows, but i know that Yakshaman is the
real Yakshaman.
how many yakshamans are in here?
[Tue Jun 12 02:27:07 EDT 2001] -Yakshaman-: *I* am the real
Yakshaman!
<*Yakshaman*> Yo!
I AM SPARTACUS!
I AM SPARTACUS!
<-Yakshaman-> I heard someone else was pretending to be me
<.Yakshaman.> I AM SPARTACUS
I knew it.....I am surrounded by Yakshamans
<-Yakshaman-> NO I AM SPARTACUS!
<*Yakshaman*> I am the real thing
> If it helps, I'm not Yakshaman
So you're not Yakshaman, then, are you,
.Yakshaman. or -Yakshaman-?
> no...
> I'm Kee
<*Yakshaman*> I am the real yakshaman, because I am
currently touching his dick
am I Yakshaman?
<-Yakshaman-> I'm the real Yakshaman
<.Yakshaman.> Maynard's Dick?
I rest my case.
[Tue Jun 12 02:29:56 EDT 2001] Identity Crisis: is someone
having me?
[Tue Jun 12 02:30:13 EDT 2001] The Judge: Worm-like
I sensed myself
Who is having me?
THE EVIDENCE BEFORE THE COURT
IS INCONTRIVERTIBLE THERE'S NO NEED FOR THE
INCINERATOR TO RETIRE
<.Yakshaman.> I am really the almost 23 year old virgin...
> what the hell is going on here
IN ALL MY YEARS OF JUDGING I HAVE NEVER HEARD
BEFORE
<*Yakshaman*> I am the only virgin in this room
OF SOMEONE MORE DESERVING THE FULL PENALTY OF
THE LAW.
Judge, we need to talk
<*Yakshaman*> yes, fry him for impersonating me
<.Yakshaman.> Yeah, send them to the cleaners!
m-ah....what did I miss?
> I don't know
<.Yakshaman.> No really, I forgot to pick up my leather
jacket
> This whole thing is kind of silly, really
kee worked at the cleaners
she can go pick it up for you
> Ummm
<.Yakshaman.> Kee, pick up my jacket for me
<*Yakshaman*> yeah, this is silly. People, stop
impersonating me
<.Yakshaman.> You are impersonating ME
<.Yakshaman.> And I am indignant.
THE WAY YOU MADE HIM SUFFER
THE REAL YAKSHAMAN
gr.....I knew you were having computer
problems....but I never knew it was this bad
<.Yakshaman.> Robert Anton Willson would have never stood
for this.
FILLS ME WITH THE URGE TO DEFECATE
<*Yakshaman*> yeah, tell me about it
IN GREG'S UNFLUSHABLE TOILET
<.Yakshaman.> Yeah, I suffer.
> ehehe
So we're not getting to the real point
BUT SINCE, MY FRIENDS YOU HAVE BEEN REALLY
ANNOYING
<*Yakshaman*> off with their dicks
Someone is suffering here
I SENTENCE YOU TO ...
> This should be good
drop your drawers
LISTEN TO BRITTNEY SPEARS!
> ehehe
> NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoo
[Tue Jun 12 02:34:55 EDT 2001] Britney Spears: Slutty
I don't think I play her tonight
<*Yakshaman*> NOOOOOOOOOO
Oops, I did it again.
<*Yakshaman*> where is logan when I need him most
<.Yakshaman.> No way, douche bag. Boy am I glad that I'm
the real Yakshaman
I made a lame-ass record
hit me, baby, one more time
<*Yakshaman*> there, that took care of that britney
character
<*Yakshaman*> I just ignored her
*daces ritardedly*
> boy can you spell
[Tue Jun 12 02:36:01 EDT 2001] Britney Spears.: Slutty
[Tue Jun 12 02:36:07 EDT 2001] Logan: a piece of ass?
oops, I did it again
I made another lame-ass record
Greg?
hit me baby, one more time?
Yes, Logan?
AH! HO ALERT
<*Yakshaman*> Logan, take care of that Spears thingy for me
please
AH!
Ignore the impostors, Logan.
Who's the real one?
<*Yakshaman*> I will then procede to skull fuck you
<*Yakshaman*> I am
Only I know what we did after Kee and Leak went
to bed that night.
[Tue Jun 12 02:37:30 EDT 2001] Britney Spears,: Slutty
oops, I did it a third time
I made a lame record
hit me, baby, one more time
<*Yakshaman*> and only I and you know what we did down at
Rehmeyer's the other night
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
why does she keep coming back again
Being the real Yakshaman, I know that what we
did at Reymeyer's was talk about you and Mooch playing
Magic at lunch.
[Tue Jun 12 02:38:50 EDT 2001] Britney Spears;: Slutty
<*Yakshaman*> Mooch wasn't there that night
Oops, I did it a fourth time
I SAID TALK ABOUT, GENIUS.
somebody shoot her....please
WANNABE.
<*Yakshaman*> nerfherder
I ate a producer's cock
hit me baby one more time.
<*Yakshaman*> I bet Logan dosen't even know what we did the
other night
Greg, you are defintely having me