Habitat:
The wild Yak can have many different characteristics. They occur mostly in South-Central Pennsylvania (more specifically the York County area) but there have been sightings in Ohio, and as far as Michigan as well. They spend most of their free weekend time at Kee's house because they are known to feed on cookies and Chicken Yakatori. Ordinarily they gather in groups of 5-10, but it may occasionally be observed in large groups of 15 or more.
Breeding:
The wild Yak used to be more rare, however, they are becoming more widespread as Yaks marry and reproduce. Some assume that the mate of a Yak is automatically a Yak; however this is not the case. The spouse or partner of a Yak must be recognized by the Yakman (or head of the Earth-bound Yaks) and pronounced a Yak; however, spawn of a Yak is always a Yak (even when not birthed by a Yak). Most Yaks appear to be of the water sign Cancer, however this is a small-range phenomena found primarily in the Southern-PA area, and not true of all Yaks. It is said that the Yakman himself is a Cancer, and bestows personal blessings upon those that share this trait with him.
Behaviour:
The Wild Yak is supremely well adapted to the harsh lands of York because of it's high tolerance, great patience capacity, and ability to clamber nimbly over the corpses of the people that piss them off. Even it's blood cells have adapted to the heavy drinking habits that it has taken to; they are about half the size of regular humans and at least three times more numerous, thus increasing the blood's capacity for carrying liquor. When it does happen to exceed its own limit, it spends the rest of the night in front of what is known as the "Great White Porcelain God". Because a great percentage of Yaks are indeed Pagans, this idea isn't hard to grasp; when you are inebriated, there is a God that you pray to. The usual prayer includes something along the lines of "Please, God, get me through this.." and "God, if I get through this I'm never going to have another drink in my LIFE." As you can guess, this is only to temporarily appease the Great White Porcelain God, and on the next visit there are also apologies, and sometimes singing of silly songs or babbling (for example: "But you never killed anyone!" "Neither did you, Greg!" [the response was from those of us cheering on Greg's efforts to pray and expunge himself of guilt as well as a hefty amount of alcohol]).
Other than drinking, Yaks also like to participate in something called "Laser Tag", which they make a pilgramage from their native York to their sister city of Lancaster. Here they chase each other around, sometimes for several hours at a time. They also have been known to play video games and view something known as a "Laser Light Show". When not travelling to Lancaster, they sometimes frequent a favorite haunt and Mecca of all Yaks: Denny's. When Denny's is too full from the social alcoholics on the weekends, sometimes Yaks have been known to visit RTC (Round the Clock Diner) or Eat n' Park, who blasphemously is no longer open 24/7. Also, once a month, a large gathering of Yaks an be found at the Mellinger household to watch a World Wrestling Federation Pay Per View. Other various interests include: playing card games in the nude or with alcohol involved; making up characters and playing Dungeons and Dragons; and entertaining themselves with many television based machines (such as movies in VCRs, and several different video game systems).
Eating Habits:
The wild Yak feeds mostly in the evening. Due to the sparseness of vegetation in its environment, the Yak must travel long distances to obtain its needed nourishment. It has been known to go as far as Wal-Mart to obtain grocceries. The wild Yak is extremely sensitive to heat and coordinates its seasonal movements with the temperature and food supply. While in York, Yaks withstand violent gastrointestinal difficulties for hours at a time. (See: Vorpal Farts and/or Prophecies) They also bathe in lakes and streams in severe cold (but thanks to modern bathroom facilities, it's always warm unless one's roomate uses all the hot water!)
Social Organization:
Based on her studies in the field, Kee noted that most wild Yaks were in large mixed herds with up to 10 or more of all ages and usually both sexes. Herds were not stable units; they readily split, or two or more were joined.
Mooch stated that the wild Yak is highly gregarious (def: Tending to associate with other animals of its kind; habitually living with other animals of its kind). Ordinarily it gathers in groups of 5-10 or more, but when new grass grows in the spring, and when the wild Yaks migrate in summer, very large groups of 15-20 may be observed for games of baseball or capture the flag. Females and young congregate in large herds, which formerly were reported sometimes to contain tens of individuals, (cock shopping) where adult males spend most of the year alone or in groups of as many of 12 (muff hunting).
The tribe itself was started some time back around 1996 by the Yakman. With his trusty steed, Sherman, he wandered the backroads of the Red Lion area, searching for something more. In a dream one night, he stood with his spirit animal, the Yak. The Yak bestowed upon him great wisdom, and bequeethed upon him a mission; to make the Yak known in every corner of the world. To show the World his greatness. The Yakman agreed to do this. Henceforth, the Yak has been the gaurdian of the Yakman, and the Yakman has brought many to see the Light of the Yak. The Yak Tribe has grown since it's inception in '96, and will continue to grow as long as the Yakman lives.